₦airaland Forum

Ujujoan:
@ Tracy

First of all, you need to know that you are getting it all wrong!

Looking for a man who 'deserves' you? What are you, a God? I know you believe in yourself and think you are the best, but I have news for you, you are not! There are women out there who are younger, prettier, more intelligent, more resourceful and more everything you are who are willing to play ball with these men. I'm not trying to put you down but you have to understand that you are not gold!

The problem is that men are begining to judge you the way you judge them! Unfortunately for you, you are aiming higher than your status and like you, no man wants to compromise on his standard. Besides, who are you to say who is good enough or not? Don't you know that true love only comes when you accept people for who they really are and not who you want them to be?

You need to STOP. You know life is full of surprises. I once dated a guy who I thought was everything I wanted and in the end, it turned out he wasn't. You know what that taught me? That maybe what I want is NOT what I need!

Nobosy's gonna hand the perfect man to you on a platter of gold. At 25, you should have learnt that lesson. What you need is a man that loves and respects you. That fairytale romance you dream of  is just not gonna happen.

I know there are a lot of jerks out there, but you say you are intuitive and you can weed them out. But a good man is who you need to spend the rest of your life with. A man who'll be there to hold your hand through the rough times that life would definitely bring your way. A man who would respect you even when you are not so 'cool' anymore. A man who will be a real father to those children you want so much. Such men don't come with glamour that you seek. So girl, wake up . .  the clock is ticking, and ticking, and ticking . .  

Here is what I stand to believe, when we meet that special person we always know, and u can look across the resturant and fall in love with a waitress, I mean, I know I have fallen inlove with ppl who are not even close to what I want and call my ideal partner, I mentioned that more than once in this thread and also them turned out to be not what I thought they were, I am not looking for a gold guy blv me, I am looking for love, that feeling, U know that feeling, that feeling that makes everything not to matter, that feeling that makes ur knees goes week, that makes ur stamach have butterfly, that feeling of love but I havent find it, the very last tym I had that kind of feeling Im looking for was with my veyr first BF who turned out to be related to me, and until then I will continue searching, U should understand guys that we find love in a very strangest places and we tend to fall inlove with what we thought we never wanted, it happens so everything else shouldnt be bothering you and yes I am the real thing and if a person cant see that and appreciate my feminism and my individualism then off he goes

This image will tell u everything, someone posted it on my thread

SA Goddess:
So people can't even greet each other on your thread?        Oh, I see, we are taking the focus from you, shine on then!

LOL, how about finding another thread to so or even better start a thread, LOL

SA Goddess:
I didn't want to wake up this morning    I am taking leave in a two weeks' time so I have to soldier on until then!

Good to hear you are cool!

Vic2k3:
Why not, cool as ever jxt that i'm feeling a lil lazy today wanna take a day off .

Vic2k3:
Hey Sa Goddess how was ya night? I hope cool

Couldnt u guys start a topic on this than hijacking my post, I mean there are no payments required to start a topic in this place and its not really a mission to do so

Vic2k3:
ROTFLMAO. Don't tell me u're not a comedian? . U've jxt made ma day with your last sentence lol

LOL, well Im not a comedian, I just love making ppl laugh, I do have a sense of humor really, and everybody love being with me coz they know I will go out of my way so that they laugh and me too I love being with myself so much, Im funny, intelligent, smart, beautiful and I always provide a good company except to me and everybody but u have to watch what u say to me or ur gona make ur life and mate's very difficult, I am capable of anything, I can make u laugh and make u cry, I can bring u happiness or misery, depends on how u treat me, but most of all I love myself and I love being with myself more than anything or anyone in this world, I have a world of my own where everything happens as per my wishes

SA Goddess:
Hey Vic!
@ Tracey, girl why are you frustrated being single at 25?

Well I dont have a reason why I should not be frustrated, my younger sister who is 20 years old has a 2 year old son, my coosin sisters have children, my onlder brother who is 27 years old has 6 year old son and I dont want my children to think that im their grandmother, I cant afford to have a milk leaking breast at the age of 40 im sorry, its just not so on, and another thing Im working to achieving my goals in life which will change my life drastically and guys even now they date me coz they think Im intelligent and I might change their financial crisis for some reasons I dont coz Im so broke to even begin taking of my family but they always get the impression that I have money and I might happen to change from being their GF to their mothers, this has happened in many occasions where I broke up with the guy coz he'd take and take and take and never give, see I always give ppl a benefit of the doubt, maybe coz I network myself as a business woman, I dont know, ok, at the end of the day I have to sell my product even I am still building it u know and sometyms I will tell someone that I do this and this and that coz I have to network thats what business ppl do and the next thing he is interested, and then he is borrowing money and asking me to buy him staff thats when the problem start where I will tell him baby if u think Im ur mother u must be one stupid guy I ever have to meet, U see I dont mind helping a fellow guy out if I can but I know when its all about that, guys use girls, same as girls especially here, there is this one who wanted me to maintain his family welfare, I couldnt stop laughing but he didnt say it out loud and I am so broke, like really broke, My Mom is hungry where she is, so now whats gona happen is this when Im planning to have my business up and runnin when Im 30 and guys will not love me for who I am by then bt they will love my intellect just like now

thats one of the reason I am panicking, 1 coleague was only interested in me when he learns that Im different from most women and Im intelligent and now he wana break it off with his wife, its very strange, I was laughing at him, I mean guys think there is a big FOOL in my forehead, Im smart they should know that, they cant fool me but they try anyway

MOBO444:
Please nobody should insult the poster anymore, all she need is a MAN and a BABY, cant a lady have a choice.

Very comforting MOBO444,

Vic2k3:
your ex-admirer/bf that needed recipe to boil a hot water will be fun i tink, i will definitely love to meet him

BTW u've jxt answered the 1st paragraph what about the 2nd?

And what second paragraph are u talking about, I wonder why guys are so concerned abt their dicks, I once dated someone who couldnt give it up, everything was about his dick, my dick is small, my dick is short, im like if ur so concern about ur dick why dont u just go and enlarge it, and the worst part was that I didnt care, it looked fine to me but hey u got sick to listen to a guy mourning about his dick, he was such a sissy, he worried so much abt a whole lot of things like how he looks, does he smell nice, the hair cut he had did it suit him, his ironing was it okay, he is got a pimple in his face and cant go out like that, Oh God I was dating a gay, he was fussing about a whole lot of things, I was like man if u gona be a woman lets exchange the pants

Vic2k3:
Poster i jxt recoiled in shock when i saw your long list on what your man must possess. I wont hve been shocked if u included he must hve a long, big and huge d1ck. MEHN 4 chrissake your list is so spotless and i hope u are also.

In relation to ya problem what u need is to do is go easy on ma fellow brodas give them the benefit of a doubt ie don't jxt guess- this man is all i want but must be an as s type. When u happen to fall in love jxt don't put up marriage sign post so early for chrissake don't appear desperate. And 1 more thing i noticed u hve a short fuse try hiding it dear. GOODLUCK with your search.

The list is just a mere fiction of my ideal partner and most of all a joke, only one guy I have dated once who posses those attributes and U know Im without him right now is coz he had bird seeds for brains, he needed a recipe to boil water and intructions to warm food in the microwave and Boy did he think he was the best thing that ever to the feminine gender since Jesus it was so funny, but hey it happens, ok truth is I prefer my guy to be not thin in all that is there and not shorter than me those are the attributes that I cant compromise especially the short part, but Ive dated many guys who were just my height but I found it so difficult to be with them when Im on high heels, it felt like I was dating my younger brother or someone who is younger than me, and thin is just another problem, see I love warm and gentle hugs but if Im gona hit bones whenever I hug my BF then we will have a problem so guys U really need to understand I cant compromise those 2 attributes, I always tell God that if my Soulmate is Small, Thin and Short then he was certainly making him for himself otherwise Im always happy with the rest, charactor is more important, U see Im very sensitive and I cant date someone who is inconsiderate of my feelings or else that will be the only time I will ever have to lead a very pathetic and miserable life, u can break and mend my heart very quickly but really Im too fragile and I need a partner that will understand that

Rymzo:
@ITbomb
Am very surprised,am sure this might be d reason she hasnt been able 2 find a man all these yrs. Jst listen 2 d kind of words she used on me wen i havnt done anytin 2 her,i wonder d type of words she wil use on sum1 who now does sumtin 2 her. Let me kip quite b4 she pours me an acid,this lady is capable of such This is how your statement shld look like cuz your life is already a difficult and a pathetic one. U dont nid 2 tel us how frustrated u are cuz we hv seen d extent and d cause

Actually the reason I hadnt find a man is coz I know my worth and I find it so hard to trust anybody and sweetie if I was a guy, I'd say Im such a sweet kind gentlemen bt ur Pal was jst unlucky and the comment he left made me question his intelligence, I mean if u hv nothing to say in the thread why say anything, if he knew he didnt belong in the thread what was he doing at the first place, u'd wonder if he engage his brain b4 saying anything and my statement ws jst the way it should be no need for correction and my life is not pathetic blv me, Im just concern about my singleness that dsnt mean Im leading a pathetic life, Im terrified none of my family members are married or at least have BF

On a very serious note now, Inked-Nerd thank you for having my back sweet,

And one more thing guys I hear you and I understand, guys are just a lot of work for my own liking and I cant put up with their crap, but I dnt wana be single until Im 40 Yho, thats more than I can handle and on my wildest dreams I dnt see myself alone at the age of 30, I see Money and a very big family but I only need twins or just 2 children

Rymzo:
I dont belong here,let me check another thread

Ur such a dumbass, next tym keep your stupid opinions to urself, U just prove what kind of shit we have to keep up with for being intelligent, its idiots and mediocres like you who makes smart ppl's life difficult

MOBO444:
@ Poster my heart reach out to you, too bad i am not single i would have considered taking you out of your present predicatement, but i know how you feel and know God will bless you, have you gone through my previous article on black women and see the several option i have for a single blck lady, please do so you can know the best option to choose and adjust to, wishing you the best of luck because i know you will need a lot of luck here.

Thats very sweet of you, but now the question is where is the article, it could help me, and hey I always hope everyday that my ideal guy would come and swept me off my feet and its been 17 years now and Im still hoping its not even funny

MOBO444:
@ Poster my heart reach out to you, too bad i am not single i would have considered taking you out of your present predicatement, but i know how you feel and know God will bless you, have you gone through my previous article on black women and see the several option i have for a single blck lady, please do so you can know the best option to choose and adjust to, wishing you the best of luck because i know you will need a lot of luck here.

Thats very sweet of you, but now the question is where is the article, it could help me, and hey I always hope everyday that my ideal guy would come and swept me off my feet and its been 17 years now and Im still hoping its not even funny

eleazon:
You seem be a right match for my cousin.Only that you have to come down cos those standards you've set for yourself can't all be met cos there's no one perfect person in this world. You ought to draw a list of the qualities you would want your man to possess. If he has up to 60, why not give him a chance. By the way, how old are you?

, Woman's age should remain a secret but what the hell, Im 25, and hey I understand what u say but I didnt mention what my requirements are, I just dont date thin and flabby guys

is your couson tall just enough that I will walk with him even in my very highest heel but too tall, is he big enough that I will be lost in his hug but not too big, does he have a bright future, is he funny, ambitious, fair complexion, can I proudly introduce him as my BF(Cute) to whoever I meet, is loving and caring, nurturing and sensitive, strong and firm, is he attached to his feminine side, can he say NO without offending me, can he be assertive with me without hurting my feelings, can he be honest with me without breaking my heart, can he rise against all odds, can he stand still, be irremovable even after the tempest, trials and turmoils of this world had battered him and uproot his soul, can he still stand tall even when his meet cant hang in his bones, can he?, Does he go to the gym, does he have a six pack, big arms, big chest, can he understand that Im independent and will not consult him every time I wana take a decision whether big or small, can he take the fact I will smile and flirt with every guy but will never cheat on him, can he apologise to me even if I was wrong and accept my apology later when I realize that I was in the wrong, can he understand that I have life of my own and have dreams that will sometyms seem more important than the r/s although that might not be true, can he give without remembering and take without forgetting just like me, is he kind and generous just like me, I think I have mentioned everything, if there is anything missing I will consult u

So if your couson has those above mentioned attributes please hook me with him,   and that is not too much to ask

Inked_Nerd:

I see where you are coming from with this. I like the whole feeling of weddings and blissfulness as well. Where is it that you meet the men that you date? And if you don't mind me asking, what country do you currently live in?

Im in South Africa,

chaircover:
@poster. There is no such thing as a perfect man, woman or perfect relationship.

To reach a balance, you will have to drop a lot of things, just as he will have to drop a lot of expectations. Sometimes we are blinded by the non important things rather than looking at the important things.

Learning to accept people for what they are and being tolerant is a virtue in its own right and will no doubt help you when you do settle down.

Divide your requirements into 2; character and achievement. Focus on finding a guy who has higher marks in the character section & you will find that you are on the right path and other things will fall into place.

I completely agree with you, U have to sacrifice, compromise and forget about most of who u are but I cant, Ive tried dating ppl who were falling short of my requirements/standard but the more I spend tym with them, the more I find faults with them and the more i dont want them and at the end I hurt them, i hurt their feelings bcoz I will start by ingnoring their calls, stood them up, and then finally tell them I cant go on with the relationship, thats when I decided that if my heart does not tick the first time I saw the ideal partner then there is nothing that will change that, I am that kind of person, sometimes I sit and think maybe I was never meant to be with anybody, but I really cant imagine my life alone, I just cant

Cute500:
You sound Like your stakes are REALLY TOO HIGH. There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right man,cuz honestly there are alot of losers around, but what happens when you push all the good men away bcuz your standards are too high? if age is not on your side, u need to have a re-think of what you are doing wrong. Most women would not date a man unless he has a fab ride, millions in his bank account, and a mansion. Think twice.

If however you lower your standards and your still meeting all the wrong men, then take your prayers to God. He will never give you more than you can chew. He is always watching, so why not ask him for assistance, he will never abandon and neglect you. Take it easy.

I have had many convesations to heaven regarding my soul mate but I think I always get a huge NO or a giant WAIT for an answer and now Im trying to take things into my hands thats why Im here, coz obviously the big Guy is too busy trying to fix or break the world, whatever he does but it must be very important,

I have lowered my requirements, but I have never seem to act according to the lowered standard, there is always something I cant take with the guy Im involved with and I break it off, total hopeless, but if u say so Im gona try and talk to the big Guy again, thing is I cant wait any longer, I will not be able to concieve at the end of all this, Im not firtile at all to wait until Im 50 to have a child really now

Inked_Nerd:
Hmmm, I'm curious to know is it companionship that you want or is it that you want a child? Or is it that you want that to live up the supposed dream life of having a husband and kids?

I dont think I wana get married, I am an untamed shrew, and weddings only make it thru the honeymoon and honeymoons dont last forever so I dont think I wana repeat the same mistakes that other women commit, but maybe if I could find a person deserving enough to be my husband I will then consider, what I need right now is a child and a father to my child

s.ohiemi:
Tracy121 take it easy,relax abeg.u have juhz gotten out of a sour relationship nd i know u must b feelin bad.all your questions r due to your frustration nd i will advise to slow down b4 u break down.don't worry your soulmate is out there 4 u nd u don't have to b anxious 4 anytin.if u r religous i'll advise u to pray nd neva give up.also u can attend more social functions so dat u can meet other pips,about d sxx,well u HAVE to do sumfin about it cos 8 yrs is not beans nd dodo.juhz keep your head nd pray nd,i promise u Mr.right will soon be knockin on your door

Definately not the kind of response I was looking for but now that u mention it, Inked_Nerd has made this more clear for me and I could never be better, I was just trying to recall my relationships u know and trying to figure what could I have been doing wrong but I couldnt justfy my singleness and I thought maybe I'd find a worth while advice here

I have vowed that I will never settle for less, I will always keep dusting myself from the ground and move on if the relationship doesn’t work and this trait have been working perfectly well for me, as a results I have been single as long as I can remember, my relationships never lasted, a month is too long before I found out that my so called partner has a GF, I don’t really love him, he is not my type and so forth and without wasting time I will break up with him and find someone else, coz of these reasons I decided never to jump into bed with someone without knowing what he is about, as a results I abstained for 8 years from sex, and that worked well for me too except that guys would leave coz they cant wait no more, this still was fine for me, if he cant wait for it then he is not worth I would say, I didn’t really have time for boys who doesn’t know what they wanted, who are not ambitious and have no purpose in life, I couldn’t give a damn

Days passed, months passed, weeks passed and years passed and it was me dating and breaking up, I always loved with my eyes wide open and I have a great intuitive that will tell me within a day what your about n I always listened to it this will lead me into looking for holes and finding reasons to end the relationships and 99.9% of time I was right

I have hated and broke ppl’s heart, coz I would lead them on and leave them hanging, I would fall in love with people who don’t give a shit about me and don’t give a chance the once who really cared about me, I would ask God why the hell wouldn’t he make me love some1 who loves me back but he would never answer, I would tell him in several occasions that if that guy over is my soul mate then he can keep him for himself coz I don’t want him and so forth, it was fun by then I didn’t care

Ok now here is what is bothering me, I am becoming old and I am still single, I don’t have a kid and boy wud I kill to give birth to my own flesh and blood, I am all panicking and becoming lonely by day, I am scared I don’t wana be old alone, I feel like I am a walking billboard for a middle life crisis, I have no problem with my self esteem, I know there are lots of ppl who would kill to have me but the problem is I don’t want them, I don’t even wana cross where they walked

Now my question is am I ever gona find love and why am I always falling for the wrong people, I am so sick of being alone, I have been told repeatedly that my requirements are just of high standard and I will never find that kind of person but the problem I find it so hard to stay if the person doesn’t meet those requirements as a matter of fact I cant stay, I will always find a reason why I cant be with that person, I have dated a couple of assholes, I have tried to convince myself and say I am only compatible with myself and no body else, do u think there is some1 out there for and he is not HIV+, do u think I still have a chance in love, Gosh I have so much love I wana share with that special person, is he still okay, does he have legs, does he have a future, does he have a potential, is he modernised or too traditional, etc

s.ohiemi:
Tracey121 u seem lyk a sensible nd firy babe 4 wiliing to 4give d bloke.juhz wish we had more pipl lyk u in dis world.It will surely be a far BETTER place.hope u find a guy dat deserves nd respects sum1 lyk u.gud luck

Im really touched, so touched, and I am also thrilled there r ppl lyk me in this world, Ur such a sweet, and thank you for appreciating my purified heart and soul, Im happy someone noticed

Inked_Nerd:
OP, please don't react based on impulse. Yes, he did you wrong but you really must move on. Like you said, there is a child involved in this equation so please just let it go. Although I'm sure your anger is still very much present within you, it wouldn't do you any good by trying to confuse him. At the most, meet him somewhere and tell him that you knew what he was up to [you can do it in a sassy manner if that'll help relieve your anger] then walk away and leave him be. The man was a fool and I'm sure you are a reasonable woman. Please do not let this man get the best of you. With time your heart will heal. And don't let this one bad experience make you have ill feelings towards men. Often times, situations such as yours can blind us from seeing what is really important we meet someone we truly love and care about. So from one sista to another, let the fool go and live your life to the fullest. Always remember you worth so much more and if a man can't see that then forget him. This is my motto, "I don't chase 'em, I replace 'em."

Ur so right sweetie, thank you, I am feeling much better already, he was never worth it

ajailer:
ok since u hurt cos u dont like being taken for a ride,ow bout hookin' up wid me.all i gat is just a lil' kid but no wifey or gf

U certainly have something wrong with ur brain

Yeah U guys are probably right its not worth it, I should just collect the pieces and move on, have nothing to loose anyways, But hey I am so tempted to Bleep up his home, really tempted, but then again no need to punish ppl who have nothing to do with this, I just hope that one day he will meet some1 who is, unlike me, not so considerate

I just hate being taken for a ride and let some1 get away with it, I blv in getting even with such slaggards, but I will be fine problem is I have to face his sorry ass 5 days a week, coz we are working at the same building, and everytime I see him I feel like strangling his neck and kill him once and for all

I want to confuse a guy, I wana send mixed messages to him, reason being, he is trying to use me for his personal gains, he is staying with the GF or wife whatever, but he never admitted that to me, apparently the GF/Wife has a 2 weeks old baby girl and she had to give birth thruough operation and the guy cant have intimacy with her until she heals so he wants to use me for sex until the GF/Wife is ready for it, I found all this information through taking drastic actions coz I accidentally fell inlove with the guy without collecting any facts about him,  finding out all this has bruised me a bit

All I want now is to confuse the f4ck out of him, If there was no child involved I would be making his home a living hell right now coz I have access to her GF's/wife's contact information but for the sake of the kid I let that fly

Now the question is how to play mind games with someone who is playing you, how to confuse a guy

Orikinla:
Love is sharing your precious moments with others
Love is not always about the selfish craving for carnal gratification, but much more in the warmth of beautiful friendship.

and your point is,

I thought u needed help about sex and the next thing you talk about relationship

iyatrustee:
maybe na ya english sef dey drive tham from u. cos no babe go gree friend you with that kind grammar

I agree with you iyatrustee, LOL

Improve your writing skills/English then we can talk

My boyfriend runs away whenever its few days to my birthdays. valentines, etc, what do you think is that

dawn001:
How Do You Win A Girl's Heart On A First Date.

You simple dont, in fact u cant win a girl's heart on a 1st date probably u might win a pussy

And the first thing that hit my mind was, he saw ur phone number on his phonebook and wonder who could be this and he called in a sense of finding out and u just had to return the call didnt u? ok just kidding, it could be his GF saw ur number and she tried to call u to see what are u? or he was just playing mindgames as the other citizen have mentioned or he just wanted to know how ur holding up, but be sure it didnt mean anything to him if he really tried to call u

LMAO, nice combination and choice of words, LOL  , I think Imma modify it and send it to my BF LOL

hackingisfun:
None matters but her intelligence

Someone who engages his brain before using his fingers has spoken

Nice one hey,

joyce j:
Theres is this guy that i was involved with. things became bad and right now i am convinced beyond all reasonable doubt that i don't love him anymore. i want to break up with him and make it look lyk it is his fault. how can i do that?

U simple cant make it his fault and the more u realize that U dont love him the closer he will become and maybe he might just propose, I don't know how do ppl really explain that but its strange, I am going thru the same thing too, I mean right now, if u r so concerned about his heart just try to pull away slowly until u reach the point where it becomes clear to him that u have no place for him in ur life

So this thread isnt dead yet, tough luck