₦airaland Forum

I have a long story with my ex, and I always come out of our encounters with the raw deal.
I know have my defects in life, I know I do, I'm currently fighting to overcome my defects harder than ever before in my life, and I believe I'm doing great progress DESPITE all the problems this year have brought me.

My uncle almost died in an accident, my ex left me while my uncle was in the hospital after I changed career paths for her, she also lied to me, now the ***** coronavirus stuff completely paralyzing my life and income source, and I'm currently fearing for the life of all my family members as all of them are risk patients.

I'm a looser and a person without many aspirations in life, I feel I have wasted the best years of my life, if you haven't noticed by now, I also have problems of low self esteem, then again, I don't consider myself irrational in this, I have very good reasons to have low self esteem, and that's I haven't achieved anything worthy in 26 years of life. I'm also an idiot as I'm still in love with the person that has made more damage to my life than anyone else. But right now I'm mad as hell at her, and I will explain why.

Me and my ex had a long distance relationship with some infancy childhood thing in the middle, she left me because I have phobia to studying and I was doing poorly academically. Or so I thought.

At the end of last year, she gave me an ultimatum to change careers or she would left me for good, after talking a bit with other friend we have in common I agreed with her, I was taking too long to finish college, so I went into a trade that after 1 year it would allow me to enter a job market and ask her to come live with me, and after 2 years I would be in conditions to immigrate to other countries with her, our ''dream'' together was to move to America and start a better life there, outside of extremely corrupt south american politics, have money that was actually worth something.
In order to keep my family support I had to do double the effort, I had to continue my career and the trade, I also had to use ALL my money into the new trade. I actually put effort in that trade, I showed her I was doing really good in it, and I was practicing at home, through it I was improving in my career too, I showed her, I was actually doing my part and changing, but it was all for nothing.

She has ever blamed me for replacing my broken Computer instead of going with her, which is incredible ridiculous, that ONE single time, ONE, SINGLE, TIME, is the only time I EVER spent money since our relationship started, in something else that wasn't saving money for our encounter. And it was to fix my only mean of entertainment and a studying tool, furthermore the money I spent in it wasn't even my money, I asked a loan to my father that I gave back to him in comfy payments, the ONLY reason I bothered my family for that loan, is because interest rates here are hellish and I calculated that I couldn't meet with her if I took one . My family would never lend me the money they gave me for a new PC, to go 3 days to another country so I can meet a girl they don't even know. And before buying the pc, I talked to her and explained her that our plans of seeing one another would not change for that expending, I told her I would pay her the fly and cover all her costs once she took vacations to come and see me. And despite saying she was fine with it, she NEVER forgive me about that, and months later it was one of the reasons she decided to end our relationship. Moving on.

My uncle suffered an accident and almost died, so I had to stay awake for many days and barely sleep in order to take care of him in the hospital, while I needed her support the most, she decided to leave me. Right f----- there. For a while I really hated her for doing me that in such a moment , but I had to concentrate in my uncle so I suppressed all that. However, I found out after that, that she lied to me, it wasn't that she finished with me cuz she got stopped loving me '' well in part that's true ''. but because, and in her own words as she got drunk one day and told me about it, because she got ''something better''. She not only left me in the moment I needed her support the most, she also lied to me.

I know I had my defect, which is that I'm a looser academically, but I NEVER lied to her, even when it was inconvenient to me, I never lied to her. And this is what I get for that. She lying to me.

What makes it even worse is, that before telling me about that lie, she manipulated me into promising her that we would be friends no matter what, she told me all this bulls, that I was really important for her and she didn't wanted me to go away, hahaha, what a nice joke. She ignored me when I asked her to not talk to me so often, and I'm an idiot, so I played along, somewhere deep down I felt that I could still salvage ANYTHING worth of that relation, so I keep talking with her, well at least I've tried, she has started to cut communication with me, she talks less and less every day with me, she has canceled many things that we planed to do together, every time I get her to watch a movie or do something together, she finds a dumb excuse to not do it.

We've reached a point that I, the guy who was so important for her have become a meaningless nuisance that she barely ever bothers to talk to, only when she realizes she's been ignoring me and guilt gets to her she dignifies herself to talk with me.

But ALL that is not what caused my tantrum of today. No, all that just depressed me, it hasn't made me explode with rage.

The things that infuriate me, is that she told me all these horrible things , that the love I felt for her wasn't real, that I wasn't willing to sacrifice nothing for her. After I fought against all my family and reached a compromise to double my effort for her, after I changed career paths for her, after I was willing to go with her to another country, which I had NEVER considered before as I wanted to stay with my family, after I have passed nights crying and telling myself over and over that I need to do better for her, she tells me this crap, so she can just feel like a good guy who is doing the right thing.

And now she asks me about land prices, and for what exactly ? Apparently all her bs dreams of getting out of SA have changed, she doesn't have ANY idea what to do with her life, but her replacement for me most likely want to buy something in the capital and she doesn't, or maybe is the other way around, whatever the case, apparently the dreams she forced on me, the standards she set for me, are now meaningless, and wants to live in SA in a cheap home.

I'm mad, I'm EXTREMELY mad. I want to scream to her and tell her to gf herself after this. I can't believe this is the person I was willing to go to other country with, that I was willing to give everything I had to. I'm such a f--- idiot.

Crystalclara:
Good morning everyone.
Please I need help. I want to buy a new phone, my budget is 50 to 60k.
Which good phone can i buy?

atheistandproud:
@ Zesushvwritter

Have Sony replied you yet?

Somodooo:
transsion na scam
all their phone na scrap

my galaxy note 9 screen got blind
I decided to get a lesser phone to manage till lockdown is over so I can order for new screen on ebay

I decided to get infinix s4 6/64gb i taught probably the 6gb will make me not to miss my note 9 because I love multitasking
guess what with the useless 6gb my chrome can't keep task without refreshing for 10 minutes unlike my note 9 that can keep your task even two days so far you don't switch off
6gb ram working like 1gb ram
it even crash my chrome sometimes.

I go moto g7 play 2gb ram same period
to my surprise this phone can multi-task more than my s4 6gb ram
chaiii transsion na scam

dannzy30:
Infinix zero 5

mikeycharles:
I really admire your blind support for a smartphone brand that don't give a cent about you except if they are the ones that are actually paying you. Enjoy.