TroyJay's Posts
Nairaland Forum › TroyJay's Profile › TroyJay's Posts
 Romance › Re: PLSSSS Y'ALL I NEED ADVISE! by TroyJay(m): 2:20pm On Apr 23, 2012 |
ennkey: My bf and i started dating in 2005. He was an undergraduate when we met and i was yet to be admitted into a higher institution. I was not from a well to do home same as my bf too.I had lost my dad in 1998 and my mum did all she could to raise my siblings and i.she hawked through rain and shine jst to put food on the table. To cut d story short in 2008, fortune smiled on us.My aunt in the states showed a colleague of her's (An American) my mum's picture and he fell in love with her instantly. He came down to Africa to see her, he fell in love with her and was moved to tears at the story of how we suffered after we lost my dad. They got married and after 10 months we all moved down to the united states and have been living there since 2009. It wasnt easy for me and my guy as we were soooo much in love,we both cried our eyes out for a whole week before i travelled because we couldnt bear the thought of being seperated from each other. We made promises to each other that we would wait and distance would not be a barrier to what we both shared. It wasnt easy being apart but we did all we could to make sure it worked and it did. We decided to formalize our union last year and i informed my mother of our intention but to my shock! she said over her dead body would i marry him. she said i have moved out of Nigeria for good and there's no looking back that i should look for someone else here in the states and settle down with. My mum and my aunt had tried matchmaking me with people they deemed fit for me to marry but i made them know that my heart belongs to someone else back in Nigeria. My mum turned the whole family against me and they all would not even give me a listening ear, they say my mum has suffered too much in the past for my siblings and i, and that now i have to make her happy by marrying who she wills. I did what i deemed the best thing at dat moment i travelled down to naija in january this year without notifying any of my family members xcept for my sis who is also my best friend. my bf nd i went down to marriage registry to consolidate our relationship with the hope that my mum would change her mind soon so we can have a white wedding. I returned back to d states after 4weeks only to find out dat my mum had found out frm a friend of her's who saw me @d registry on d day of the marriage. Right now as i write my entire family does not talk to me, my mum had called nd left voice messages saying dat i should neva call her fone or d house fone, nd dat i should nt even attend her funeral should incase she dies. I dont know what to do right now, i mean where or wat did i do wrong by loving a man who loves me equally or even more! i have begged nd sent piple to beg her on my behalf bt all to no avail. plssssssssssssss wat do i do nxt?What has happened, has happened. You can't turn back the hands of time even if you wanted to. I'd have done the same if i was you. No one should ask me not to marry the love of my life because of her own past experiences. Yes she's concerned, but a loving mother should understand why it happened. The only thing i hold against you is not telling them you were about to get married, at least you should have called them from the registry! It's better than nothing at all. But like i said earlier, it's all past. All you need to is give them time to heal. No one will live your life with you or for you. If you have made a mistake by marrying this young man, you'll bear the consequences alone. If it's blessings you'll reap from the marriage, you'll still enjoy it alone. Even if you had married whoever it is that your family wanted for you, when you run into problems with him, will they be there? You have begged her, so there's NOTHING you can do about it further than allow for time to pass. Stop worrying about what you have no control over A mother is a mother, she'll forgive you. Just make sure you work on your marriage and turn out fine. On the day you'll reconcile with her, pay her a surprise visit, maybe when you have kids. There's no way she'll turn you and your husband and your kids away. . . Mother's are not that heartless. But you have to allow time to pass, let her miss you, and be at your business. Don't let this affect your marital life. This is just a problem that has a solution. Time has that solution, wait for it! 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: My Friend's Wife's Numerous Stretch Marks Baffle Me by TroyJay(m): 2:07pm On Apr 23, 2012 |
bin gbagbo: i am talking about my best friend's wife.couple of years of ago she was very fair and pretty.lately she began growing so many stretch marks all over her body and i dont find her attractive anymore.i told my friend to divorce her but he told me he had given her a warning.what do i do to get this stretch mark woman out of my way??Unless you are romantically attached to this lady, whatever she does to her body should be NONE of your beeswax! If i was your friend, i'd have ended the friendship with you. It's unimaginable that someone who calls himself my friend would be brazen enough to ask me to divorce my wife over something as inconsequential as stretch marks. . . What if i "love" the stretch marks on her? Hard as it may be, learn how to keep your nose out of other people's affairs, especially married ones. |
| Nairaland General › Re: Who Has More SWAG? Lagos Or Abuja Babes? by TroyJay(m): 2:03pm On Apr 23, 2012 |
Can SWAG be measured? |
| Romance › Re: Ladies Why? by TroyJay(m): 7:26pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
I think you should get a life. Only a person without a life opens threads such as these. It's a sign of boredom. . . Peace  |
| Romance › Re: One-sided Love by TroyJay(m): 7:14pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
Well, you've made a mistake by listening to senseless advice. You had the sweet sex, you were lost in pleasure as you were coming and now your eyes are clear. Not all seeming wise advice from friends are beneficial. I'll rather you call the lady involved, and tell her what is really on your mind. She is the one you should be asking, since she gave you her body and heart. Sex is not love. A lesson to girls! |
| Romance › Re: Why Worry About girls,you Can buy Love With Money by TroyJay(m): 7:09pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
This statement is wrong! Money can Never ever buy love. Money sustains love though. It's love that'll make you work hard for money to provide for the woman you love. What will you say about rich ladies that fall in love with a guy they are obviously richer than? Is it the guy's money? Life is a phase. The phase of growing up into a responsible man should not be forsaken for the pursuit of women. When you are ready to fall in love, please dont go looking for love in the club, as there you will only find women who will fall in love with you for money. Try and differentiate between the two extremes, and minimize the somewhat senseless threads parading the romance section. . . Peace 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Where are the GOOD naija girls! by TroyJay(m): 6:57pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
OP. While i agree that some of our Nigerian sisters are quite unreasonable, shameless and bad, not all are like that. The good ones could be on Nairaland, but they may not necessarily deem this thread worthy of any sane reply! Why is because you for one are an unserious user on this section, and another reason is that the good ones don't broadcast themselves. If you had a life outside of nairaland, and if you quit making soap your bestfriend, i really think your manner of thinking will be greatly defogged to take notice of the fact that there are good girls out there, if you really take due diligence into finding them. . . Peace! |
| Romance › Re: Is Thr Anythng Sweeter Than It? by TroyJay(m): 6:48pm On Feb 25, 2012 |
OP, while i understand the pleasure derived from sex, but what's the rationale behind broadcasting to the world wide web that you just had sekx?  It's obviously not the sweetest thing, pleasurable maybe, but there are sweeter moments in life! No offence meant, but you really sound like a boy who just lost his virginity! During the intercourse, all that you were thinking of was to come and update nairaland. Guess what? No one really cares.  1 Like |
| Romance › Re: How Would U Lyk 2 B Proposed 2 by TroyJay(m): 7:30pm On Feb 15, 2012 |
In front of her friends and family. I want to see the shocked surprise and emotion on her face. . . Priceless. |
| Romance › Re: My Secret Desire: by TroyJay(m): 7:11pm On Feb 15, 2012 |
People always fail to point out the difference between submissiveness and domineering. I'll give a quick example. The home is like a government with subjects. Subjects are supposed to be submissive to the government. Does their being submissive to the government make them weak? No, it doesnt. Does it make them fools? I really dont think so. In nature, males are the heads of females. There cannot be two captains on a ship. One will have more power over the other. When single you can make and take decisions as a lady, but when married, being submissive helps you realize that you have come under the law of a man, and that you cannot randomly take decisions without his approval. Does it make you weak? Does it make you a fool? I personally believe that a woman should complain when a husband expects her to be submissive and he still treats her domineeringly. That is quintessentially wrong! i wont tolerate that myself. Op, your desire is natural, but you keep it secret because those around you fail miserably to differentiate between the submissive and domineering concepts. Blame it on "Independence" & "Equality" that has beclouded the reasonings of the majority of womenfolk. Values are wholly on a decline. I naturally will not expect the issue of headship to be any different!  |
| Romance › Re: What Is The Age Range Would You Date? by TroyJay(m): 6:57pm On Feb 15, 2012 |
Not a day older than me and 7 years younger than me>>> Maximum and minimum. |
| Romance › Re: To The Men Out There. by TroyJay(m): 6:49pm On Feb 15, 2012 |
Well, i really dont see anything wrong in it. In fact i'll be glad that she loves me enough to wanna propose to me without waiting for me to do so first! I'll say yes, and then it will be our little secret. No one needs to know. It's our life. Sadly though, it's frowned at most times. But why should it? We have ladies screaming independence and equality, why cant they switch roles when need be? Hypocrites? Maybe. It's a personal choice though, and you have no rights to decide how i respond to a proposal from a lady i love. I'll only say no if i dont love her, and i'll apologize for leading her on. Things have changed. The idea of who proposes first should also change. |
| Romance › Re: Guys,gifts And Motvies by TroyJay(m): 6:40pm On Feb 15, 2012 |
A cheat will always be a cheat, Val's day or not, whether he spends on val or not! There are some who really believe that val's day is the only day dedicated to showing love. So they will save their money for 365 days and then on 14th of february, they spend! They may not necessarily be cheating, it's just their nature. . . |
| Romance › Re: Good Women Are Getting Thinner By The Day by TroyJay(m): 9:19pm On Feb 12, 2012 |
Sensational Rubbish! |
| Romance › Re: How To Spend Valentine's Day Alone by TroyJay(m): 8:17pm On Feb 12, 2012 |
This thread is Pointless! If you want to spend a day alone, spend it alone! You've forgotten what it means to be alone? Tips for being alone? This is serious. Shake My Head! 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Will I Ever Get To Meet The Kind Of Man I Need? by TroyJay(m): 8:09pm On Feb 12, 2012 |
Idungjay:Hmm. A hint of desperation in your tone. If you want that from God, Ask!. . . Pray. And then wait for it to be answered. You DONT force anyone to satisfy you. And if you really believe that God's time is the best, then wait for his time. Even though his time[i] may seem[/i] to delay. . . It will NOT be late! |
| Romance › Re: Will I Ever Get To Meet The Kind Of Man I Need? by TroyJay(m): 7:49pm On Feb 12, 2012 |
Idungjay:How long is too long to you? |
| Romance › Re: Become A Virgin Back (females) by TroyJay(m): 7:43pm On Feb 12, 2012*. Modified: 3:46pm On Apr 24, 2012 |
Why is everyone on my case? What do you call a person that believes virginity can be restored, even to the extent of going commercial with it? The reasoning is idiotic! Was it because i said so first? |
| Romance › Re: Will I Ever Get To Meet The Kind Of Man I Need? by TroyJay(m): 7:35pm On Feb 12, 2012 |
You are beautiful just the way you are. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. If you want to be more beautiful, work on your "inner beauty". Your character, your speech,your expressions should radiate your inner beauty to the outside. Dont worry, most of the girls you are getting jealous over are actually being used. Dont get a boyfriend because you want to talk about him with fellow hostel mates. That notion is soo wrong! Moreover, most of those stories are either outrightly made up or sensationally exaggerated. Your dressing should be modest and not flatulent. Dont dress to impress anyone. If you dress to impress, the guys who approach you will do so because of your dressing and NOT because they were attracted to your person. A person truly attracted to you will first be attracted to your modest and different way of dressing, and then on closer contact with you, he'll also be drawn to your "inner beauty". Dressing modestly doesnt mean out of fashion. Remember that there is a time for every affair under the sun. Just take it that the time has not really come. Girl, you are just 20. Focus more on the more important things(education) and all others will be added. . . There's still time to re discover your self, and make yourself more attractive. I'll rather be attracted to a lady because of who she is than for her beauty. MOST "facially" beautiful girls are PLAIN DUMB! Facial beauty doesnt last, but inner beauty does. Look at your mirror and say to your self "I am beautiful". Be even more proud to say "I'm beautiful in every single way". Dont let your own words bring you down! |
| Romance › Re: Can U Marry A Lady Or Guy U Meet On Nairaland? by TroyJay(m): 7:08pm On Feb 12, 2012 |
Yes i can. There are lot of pretty girls on NL. Pretty and everything needed to make her wife. Most of the regular female posters on here are NOTHING to write home about. I doubt if their offline character is much different from the character they display here. I wont judge all NLers based on the regulars. . . Therefore, if i'm opportuned to meet a pretty, sweet, loving lady on Nl, and she has the qualities i desire in a wife, then YES. . . I'll marry her! |
| Romance › Re: Become A Virgin Back (females) by TroyJay(m): 6:59pm On Feb 12, 2012 |
are you kills or sexkillsI'm TroyJay. . . |
| Romance › Re: Nothing Kills Romance Like Marriage. by TroyJay(m): 10:46pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
mekaboy:The married people you observed before making this crass conjecture, where were they from? What country? What geopolitical zone? When you mean observe, did you observe them into their bedrooms? We need some clarity. |
| Romance › Re: Nothing Kills Romance Like Marriage. by TroyJay(m): 10:42pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
mekaboy:I'll like to see a detailed report to prove that baseless conjecture! Where was the research conducted? What was the Romance life of the participants like before they got married? |
| Romance › Re: At This Age And Still A Virgin? by TroyJay(m): 10:33pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
heywhytech1:Shake My Head! |
| Romance › Re: At This Age And Still A Virgin? by TroyJay(m): 10:22pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
rokiatu:How about commonsense telling peeps not to open sensitive and touchy issues like virginity? Virginity is NOT what to laugh about/overlooked/dropped. To some people, it has a lot to do with being morally chaste! You as a virgin should know. Is it right for them all to be insulted because someone somewhere behind a computer with an internet connection wants to have a laugh? And then it should be overlooked because the person feels it should be overlooked? Dont allow sentiments becloud your sense of judgment Roki. Hotie is your sister, but call a spade a spade. That having a laugh line is sooo not true. This forum is public. I'll like to see her laughing over the descriptive essays of her panties and all. Some of the comments up there are so disgusting. Mind you, some of those comments are not about Hotie. . . but about Virgins! |
| Romance › Re: At This Age And Still A Virgin? by TroyJay(m): 10:10pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
ovo4u:SMH! So it's no longer 99.9%? The conjecture is baseless. Accept you were WRONG! Even if you get a poll running, you'll be proved wrong again and again. Dont make comments because you can. |
| Romance › Re: Nothing Kills Romance Like Marriage. by TroyJay(m): 10:07pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
The statement is FALSE! If you allow Marriage to kill your romance, it's your FAULT! You stopped doing the romantic things, so what were you expecting? |
| Romance › Re: At This Age And Still A Virgin? by TroyJay(m): 10:06pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
rokiatu:I cant believe you actually said that. But some take it seriously. Some come here to learn, others come for information. Are you asking them not to take Nairaland seriously? Teenagers roam Nairaland seeking for guidance and advice, are you asking them not to take nairaland seriously? Can you truthfully type in BIG AND BOLD, and tell this audience that you have learnt "NOTHING" from Nairaland? If you learnt something, did you take it serious? Mademoiselle, that's not an excuse. Self esteem is subjective. And you cant slap it out of an individual. People even come to Nairaland to help get rid of their low self esteem! Should they not take the information given to them serious, because it came from Nairaland?. . . I mean, C'mon! |
| Romance › Re: At This Age And Still A Virgin? by TroyJay(m): 9:51pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
I'm waiting for this Tima to answer my questions and she should also tell us all why she will open a topic in a forum where[b] 99.9% are already disvirgin,[/b] I have ask so many important questions in the past in this forum but never made it to the front page but a gurl is braging of her silly virginity here and someone put in on the front page, what da f.uck is wrong with Nairaland?Blah Blah Blah! I'd like to see that report!. . . Oh please don't worry abt Tima.It's unequivocally wrong for tima to open a thread with a topic as sensitive as virginity as good entertainment. It might be entertaining to her, but where i find that notion wrong is the fact that this issue is on the frontpage, and a lot of visitors to this site are still virgins. . . Male and female alike. Now, with negative responses towards virginity, dont you think that some of these virgins might have a rethink? No one wants to be mocked at. Especially when you are being mocked for keeping something that's "supposed" to be of a moral value. And here we have people trampling on their personal dignity, virginity. What do you rightfully expect the low self esteemed virgins to do except "pop the damned cherry"? And who knows what might be the resultant effect of that. She really needs to be more careful in future. This shouldnt be on the frontpage. . . Entertainment or not! |
| Romance › Re: At This Age And Still A Virgin? by TroyJay(m): 9:34pm On Feb 11, 2012 |
It's obvious this lady NEVER wanted this to be on the frontpage. These Insults on her person is uncalled for, and is rather unbecoming. Or is this what the MODS [i]really [/i]wanted? People posting her pics and mocking her? SMH! |
