UnknownQueen: E never reach like that, if you can't afford court case, seperate from her for as long as you want..
There's no crime in that, who never chop belleful no fit go file for court....
Separation will go a long way returning my sanity back. But the major problem is, I can't be the one to leave the house for her cos, that's where my life is. My job/business is my life, it's what's putting food on the table for me. And, she's not ready to leave either!
Raregem9000: My people will say suuru la n fi se oko obinrin (it is with patience that one becomes a successful husband to a wife), although I now understand that you wanted to divorce but bro, I’ll still advise you to be calm in this situation.
What I’m thinking is leading to the violence is that both of you are not calming down for each other. Because it’s only gbasgbos + gbasgbos that can lead to that.
If your wife is blowing hot, relax and calm down. If someone is insulting you, just dey calm down dey look at the person or simply excuse yourself, no way that one go lead to violence. Lol. Don’t blow hot at the same time.
You are the head of the family, so do everything possible to make your home work. Marriage is not easy, but with patience and wisdom, many things can still be resolved. Like I said, I don’t know all the details, so if you can briefly share more, we can advise you better. Ire o.
Can't just continue this way! My peace of mind is becoming like my shadow, distancing itself from me. Pressure is mounting fast on me, my life is under threat from pressure and lack of peace, I'm really becoming a shadow of myself, turning to a monster.
There's no time that I think of taking drastic action without thinking of my little princess, can I really cope without her? What will my life look like if she's not around me? Loving her is an understatement, she's absolutely become part of me. To me, she's (my daughter) the one still holding this marriage together, if not, I would have long gone before even starting this my agribusiness in my compound, which is now very difficult to move along with me if I want to leave. My life is under intense pressure right now which is really blurring my thinking...I can't think straight again.
capetownboyz: tell her to leave to her parents place and stay there for the time being ..
she won't. I think she really wants me to do something wild, something really violent to her that'll get me locked up. The more I'm trying to avoid that the more she's really looking for it.
It got a little bit violent this morning.
She has disappeared now, not coming home to sleep, and to be honest, I really don't care am just worried about my child that's with her.
capetownboyz: seperation should be your next solution for now and don’t tend towards violence cause it solves nothing.. give her a space and get yourself back on track and see wether you still want her in future if No , go ahead and process your divorce ..
giving the space automatic mean stopping my business, cos i work from home. If I leave how will I live?
Can't continue with this again and I can't afford to vacate the home for her cos, I work from home, I do my businesses inside my compound and it can't be moved cos getting a space like where I am at is hardly possible.
Onegai: Please calm down, can I send you information via email?
And offer counseling
Let us step back from the cliff.
Because Divorce is wonderful for lawyers looking for rent money.
2 years mandatory separation, if you want to file before then it will cost more.
N1million-N6million to file (yes, I am not joking, especially if you're in Lagos or Abuja). You will pay for extra like printing and any other documents lawyer needs.
File in High Court, she will be served a month later, she has 30 days to respond and your first court date will be 4 to 6 months after, just for Mentioning.
After that, another month or 2 for Conference (you and your wife will go before the Judge, no lawyers allowed to speak and mediate).
Then another month or 2 after for your trial.
Courts are backed up, so unless she responds back Uncontested, expect to spend 3 years on this matter, some people that got caught during Covid spent 10 years.
Even with no kids, you fit spend 2 years if clerks go on strike and since na high court, I dunno how backed up it will be with election tribunals next year (Political Aspirants pay more so their cases will be heard faster than your inconsequential marital issues, sorry )
Are you fighting for custody? Add an additional year plus you'll pay extra for Child Welfare Officers for the mandatory house and school visit. You need to be financially buoyant because you have to pay Child Support or she can garnish your bank accounts
If you start dating, she can sue you for Adultery and sue your side chic for alienation. Upto N10million, another court case.
Court cases are open, so everyone in court that day (bloggers, other petitioners and anyone who just feels like attending) will be listening to you and her air your very dirty laundry in public. They can write about it too, mentioning your name. Not a crime.
Still interested? There's more o...
Oya please drink water, let's talk
Well over 50% of marriages are salvageable and in 5 years time you'll probably feel different.
But if we work on it now, and you give yourself to this process, in 5 years time, I pray I never see you again
Please, let's talk
Let me get this straight... Does that mean I'm stuck with her for life if I can't afford a court case?
If yes, then somebody's son or daughter will go six feet below or end up in jail one day
Kobojunkie: Please move out of the marriage home immediately, if you have not already done so. 😒
Contrary to widespread rumors, only about 10% of divorce cases end with one party paying alimony to the other. This, of course, is dependent on the agreement between the couple at the time the marriage was entered into, as well as the laws in the particular state or district. If you and your party both work, then chances are that the major cost to worry about would be the court fees.
As long as there is no violence or abuse against the child, I recommend that, rather than give up custody to your partner or take on full custody, you should opt for shared custody of the child. This will ensure both parents remain a part of the child's life even after the divorce is finalized. 😒
How expensive is the court fee is really my question...
Kelklein: It's been terrible lately, even in city centres of FCT..
It s difficult to stream with.
It's difficult to use with a Google Map. It told me GPS signal lost for more than 10 times over a distance of just a 3km trip..
It can't connect on Zoom, Zoho, or Meet online meetings
Video calls is a no-no.. it lags more than 10 times for a one minute call..
I almost lost an online interview today because it just won't connect even when I had over 30Gb of Data balance. I had to quickly switch to another network that was what saved me.
It's been this way for months non end now🤔🤔
Are they aware the network is this terrible around the FCT..?!
Mods pls take this as far as possible.. let it get to them
Then maybe you should try Glo and see how good that your Airtel is.
If you have high temperament or HBP pls stay far away from Glo!
Something happened today that has really made me question myself as a man, and I sincerely need honest advice from mature minds here.
Earlier today, my younger one went to the field to play football. After some time, he came back home crying seriously with blood rushing from his head. According to him, he had an altercation with someone much bigger than him, and the person picked up a stick and hit him on the head.
Immediately, I became angry and asked him to take me to the field to identify the person that injured him. Deep down, I was expecting myself to react aggressively because I felt any normal man would naturally defend his younger one and confront the person strongly.
When we got there and I saw the guy, something happened to me. Instead of fighting or causing a serious scene, I just started asking questions about what happened. I couldn’t bring myself to react violently or aggressively the way many people probably would have. I eventually carried my younger one and went back home.
Since then, I have been feeling ashamed and disappointed in myself.
The painful part is that this is not the first time I have noticed this about myself. I always seem to avoid problems, confrontations, or situations that may escalate. Even when I am angry, I still start thinking about consequences, expenses, police issues, public embarrassment, injuries, and other complications that may arise if things get out of hand.
Because of this, I often withdraw instead of standing my ground fully.
Now I am beginning to feel like I am too timid and not confrontational enough as a man should be. Sometimes I feel weak, powerless, and unable to command respect the way other men do. I see some people react boldly in difficult situations while I keep overthinking consequences and avoiding escalation.
Honestly, it is affecting the way I see myself.
Please, I need sincere advice from experienced people here:
- How can someone stop being too timid or fearful? - How do you become more confident and confrontational when necessary? - How do you stand your ground as a man without always retreating? - Is this kind of behavior weakness, or is there another way to look at it? - What practical things can I start doing to become mentally stronger and more assertive?
I would genuinely appreciate honest advice, especially from men who may have struggled with similar issues before overcoming them.
What if that's what has kept you till this moment?
What if being who you wished to be would have sent you to your early gra.ve?
Are you tired of life? How much do you cherish peace of mind ?
Samantha125: My father used to bathe me as a child every once in a while and there was never anything unusual about it... He also has never had any issues with us walking around the house in just our underwears, given that we cover up when going outside or have a guest.
I mean if male nurses could bathe female patients, then I don't see anything wrong with a father bathing his female minor child... Predators don't need to bathe their female children or see their unclothedness before preying on them.
I don't think I need to comment again cos you've said it all.
I do bathe for my daughter, wash her bumbum when she poo and even rinse her V whenever she wee. SHE'S MY DAUGHTER
Jerryblaq10: No eat this one oo, on less you won die. Na poison be that oo
Uncle...here I am typing while sitting comfortably on the sofa after devouring it.
Have you ever been to a big canteen? If you know how much a small portion of it is being sold you won't be saying this. Small portion of it goes for nothing less than 3k.
I was outside the fence clearing the bushes around the fence when I noticed my local chicken making some danger tone, I had to climbed up the fence (opted against opening the gate so that the noise from the gate won't scare whatever it is away), and when I looked where the fowls are then I saw this...
At first, I got excited and all when I saw it, until I heard the price. N10k for wetin? Na fruit of life? 👀
Yeah, I know I like soursop very much, but not to the extent of buying one soursop for N10k. As how naa?
You see why I keep telling you people to plant fruit trees? 👀 See, if you don't plant fruit trees today, someone might sell one mango to you for N5k someday o. Ehen! So, plant fruit trees.
I put the plastic bottle by the side, so one can have an idea of the size of the soursop.
You can't be serious right now right?
The same fruit that's getting wasting in my compound right now was the one sold for 10k per one? LIFE!!!
I have them plenty on the tree but I can only eat one, or max 2 in two weeks.
If there was a button you could press to go back to that era… would you press it?
That was my mum’s answer.
She began telling me what life really felt like growing up in Nigeria in the 70s and 80s… and the more she spoke, the more it felt like stepping into a completely different world.
The more she spoke, the more it sounded like a simpler life… but it makes you wonder… was it actually better?
Note: This was made from my mum’s perspective, so it might differ slightly from your own experience or that of your parents.
If you experienced this era (or heard stories about it), I’d really like to hear yours.
I also used that slate but not for long... It was fun actually, but, I think it's better now. Though, there is nothing that has advantages that doesn't have the opposite. LIFE!
Family › Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by truthhurts2(op): 5:30pm On May 21
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