₦airaland Forum

Ymodulus:
Wow Am touched brother.

Truth is that many out there need in one way or the other. Recently I visited an orphanage home in abuja, Jabi area.

I couldnt help but cry. Many are suffering and many are better off those suffering yet, we are still not okay with what we have.

Yet we still earn for more.
I stumble through out the street of Zuba last Sunday and I saw many needy beggars who even at me handing them Coca Cola and Biscuit they hugged me like their life depended on it.

Dear, We actually can't help everyone in the country but we can help the little way we can.

Thanks Brother. I don't mind getting your contact.

One Love

Bro please help me too. 0049465283 gtbank

Please help a brother too. 0049465283 gtbank.. God bless

Op, no be only you dey vex, football na the only thing wey dey give me joy for this country before, but now l no fit watch am again,where the money dey, where even the light you go take watch am dey.. I don play bet9ja taya, only me get account for nairabet, merrybet, surebet, 1960bet,betcolony, bet365,william hills.. Every thing na loss back to back.. I vex register for nairaland as l dey hear say u fit use nairaland forget your sorrow, l enjoy nairaland for only two weeks, but now na e-money and so so pple wey die we dey see for front page. I wan vex go sing but as l no get voice nko.. Na to join the group of upcoming bloggers remain for my agenda.. Nigeria don hammer me die, na since 2012 l don finish yunifasiti and l no get job..Interviewer dey do deir own craze for there.. Naija which way

You forgot to add some idiots who keeps pressing 'print receipt' when the atm machine has clearly warned them it wouldn't be able to issue receipt due to printing error. But they ll never use their common sense and press 'NO' they would always preferred to press 'YES PRINT RECEIPT'

Any hawkers found selling around the moon will be jailed and will pay 90k for bail-Ambode

And why is this making front page? And why is this making front page?

In our Criminal Code Act in Chapter 46. Section 484 in this chapter provides that – Any person who, with intent to defraud any person, falsely represents himself to be some other person, living or dead, is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for three years.
This is pure fraud and impersonation. EFCC take over.

People around Ring road in Ibadan were thrown into a state of confusion following what appeared to be a display of witchraft
According to a reporter Samson Akindele who is the head of news at Fresh 105.9 FM Ibadan, the incident occurred at dawn on June 21.
The girl was said to be giving off a strong scent of animal feaces that had people wondering if she was really human.
Here’s what the reporter said below:
“This girl was said to have transformed from a cat into a human being at dawn today. She was allegedly found as a cat in the store of a house at Ring road area in Ibadan. It reportedly transformed into a girl before it could be killed.
She smelled like an animal and passed heavily smelly animal faeces and urine with equally strong foul odour that could not be said to be of human origin.
I’m still unable to eat as result of the choking smell that pervaded the community. It’s one of the most scary reportorial assignments for me. Does anyone still believe in earthly mysteries and secrets?
This is strange, but could it be true?”
See pictures below:

My friend was employed by an estate management company last year and was given a target of #75million per month,but due to the economy of the country, he has not been able to sell a house worth that amount. Now he has been put on probation for about four months now and have been told he would be sacked. This has been bothering him a lot because he is the only one taking care of his families.
A new house has been constructed by the company in lekki and the marketers including my friend have been told to bring buyer for the house.. He has tried all he could but hasn't find any buyer and now he is extremely worried but l told him not to worry, nairalanders would provide us with a solution.
The new house to be sold is located at lekki, it is a triplex with four bedrooms plus a maid's room.The price is set at #85million but it is negotiable.
Please Nairalanders help us find a buyer and save my friends job. You will be handsomely compensated if you find a buyer..
Cc lalasticlala.

Does our culture tell you to have just one girlfriend? Well, these Chinese guys are luckier. In their culture, a man with one girlfriend should be ashamed of himself. 3 is the lowest number for a cool guy!
What are the reasons for having multiple girlfriends? Well, in this particular city mostly women get the jobs. That’s for one. Secondly, the men are scarce! Their number is small compared to ladies.
The city is named Dongguan, and it is located in China, there having more than three girlfriends is the norm.
Of late Dongguan has become the focus of attention for the news writers and journalists. There the majority of people with jobs are women, and they are called the “factory girls”.
According to employers, Chinese women are more reliable and do better in multitasking. They are mostly employed in the agriculture sector and manufacturing and assembly lines where they are usually housed in big dormitories.
While these kinds of employments are already occupied by women, the Chinese men are left to do the odd and casual jobs. They are the ones who do the non-round-the-clock jobs which mean they have a lot of extra time to do “extra-curricular” activities and tend to their love life.
“It’s is actually embarrassing to have only one girlfriend here.” one Chinese man said in an interview.
With these facts all on record, it seems like, for them, it is easier to find a girlfriend than finding a job.
To quote Li Bin, who is living in Dongguan with a part-time job, he said: “I have three girlfriends, and all of them know about each other. Many of my friends also have many girlfriends.” He added, “ Why not have more than one if we can? Look, everyone is here to have fun; if you don’t do it, others will.”
In fact, according to them, the women, since they are the ones who are working and have higher paying jobs than the men, they are the ones paying for their man’s bills. They pay for their dates as well, if they wish to get a man.
In most cultures, men are under pressure to get a decent job to provide for the family; it is not the case in this part of the world.
China’s population has too many females making it not that easy to find a single man. That’s why the men there normally have two to three girlfriends or even more.
So, you have a problem being monogamous and can’t resist the urge of having two more girlfriends; you might want to consider Dongguan.

I've been drinking, I've been drinking
I get filthy when that liquor get into me
I've been thinking, I've been thinking
Why can't I keep my fingers off it, baby?
I want you, na na
Why can't I keep my fingers off it, baby?
I want you, na na
[Verse 1 - Beyoncé]
Cigars on ice, cigars on ice
Feeling like an animal with these cameras all in my grill
Flashing lights, flashing lights
You got me faded, faded, faded
Baby, I want you, na na
Can't keep your eyes off my fatty
Daddy, I want you, na na
Drunk in love, I want you
[Hook - Beyoncé]
We woke up in the kitchen saying,
"How the hell did this shit happen?"
Oh baby, drunk in love we be all night
Last thing I remember is our beautiful bodies grinding up in the club
Drunk in love
[Bridge - Beyoncé]
We be all night, love, love
We be all night, love, love
[Verse 2 - Beyoncé]
We be all night,
And everything alright
No complaints from my body, so fluorescent under these lights
Boy, I'm drinking,
Park it in my lot 7-11
I'm rubbing on it, rub-rubbing, if you scared, call that reverend
Boy, I'm drinking, get my brain right
Armand de brignac, gangster wife
Louie sheets, he sweat it out like wash rags he wear it out
[Studio version:] Boy, I'm drinking, I'm singing on the mic to my boy toys
[Video/Live version:] Boy, I'm drinking, I'm singing on the mic til my voice hoarse
Then I fill the tub up halfway then ride it with my surfboard, surfboard, surfboard
Graining on that wood, graining, graining on that wood
I'm swerving on that, swerving, swerving on that big body
Been serving all this, swerve, surfing all in this good, good
[Hook]
[Bridge]
[Verse 3 - Jay-Z]
(I'm nice right now)
Hold up
That D'USSÉ is the shit if I do say so myself
If I do say so myself, if I do say so myself
Hold up,
Stumbled all in the house time to back up all of that mouth
That you had all in the car, talking 'bout you the baddest bitch thus far
Talking 'bout you be repping that third, I wanna see all the shit that I heard
Know I sling Clint Eastwood, hope you can handle this curve
pre-intimacy in the foyer, bleeped up my Warhol
Slip the panties right to the side
Ain't got the time to take draws off, on site
Catch a charge I might, beat the box up like Mike
In '97 I bite, I'm Ike, Turner, turn up
Baby no I don't play, now eat the cake, Anna Mae
Said, "Eat the cake, Anna Mae!"
I'm nice, for y'all to reach these heights you gonna need G3
4, 5, 6 flights, sleep tight
We sex again in the morning, your breastases is my breakfast
We going in, we be all night
[Bridge]
[Verse 4 - Beyoncé]
Never tired, never tired
I been sipping, that's the only thing that's keeping me on fire, me on fire
Didn't mean to spill that liquor all on my attire
I've been drinking watermelon
I want your body right here, daddy I want you, right now
Can't keep your eyes off my fatty
Daddy I want you
[Bridge]

Kindly find attached the 3D images of the property inside Richmond Gate Estate. It is fully ready. (Not off plan).
It is actually a Townhouse (4 bedroom and a maid room) in a very serene estate.
Price: #85M
Check my signature to contact me

So my mum joined facebook last last week and this evening she started complaining to me, she said: “Bola this facebook registration dey chop money oh” “mummy I no understand… how?” I asked. She sighed and said: “Since wey I tell sade your sister to Register me for facebook, na so-so money I dey spend”I was confused, I didn’t understand what my mum was talking about. But after a while I got a clue and then asked: “Oh ok, mummy na MB dey chop your money?”. She raised eye brows and said: “ah Bola which one be MB na? I hope say I nogo pay for that one oh, because I don pay 8k for chatting permit, 10k for friend request fee, 3k for posting fee, 6k for profile picture permit and this evening again, your sister don talk say facebook say make I bring 5k for international facebook passport. Bola I don tire, na so una dey spend money for this thing?”Please what should I tell my mum right now?

In olamide's voice, stupid love

There is a reason why it is called a date. It is supposed to be personal between the guy and the lady, not with a third party.
This is the best time where you talk personal things and really know what you feel for each other
Believe me l have been there, the truth remains the lady is not really into that guy, she wants him as a mugu.
Ladies do that a lot(inviting their friends along) when they dont want to date the guy but want to use him.. The guy was just sharp

Guy, there are dos and don't of dating a gal
1)To date a gal that has been your friend for a long time, never, l repeat never toast her, to get her to date you, HAVE SEX WITH HER.. She will come back for you
Remember she loves you already, toasting her will put her off.
2)If you have the intention of toating a lady, dont make friend with her for long.
3) To get a lady to date you, always talk dirty with her. Gals are pretender but trust me they love dirty talks.. And she will always want you to give her your attention cos she will always look forward for more
Capeech??

Upon say we never start to practice GAYISM for naija, see as we dey suffer.. I just dey imagine if we come start am fully

The norm is you see a nice curvy gal and you start chasing her and professing your love to her, and she as a lady would display her ego and say l would think about it (now that is a normal society and how the world was meant to be by the creator)
Now lets look at the scenario in a few years time,
You as a confirm man or boy or guy is walking on the street, and you look behind you and see this ladylike man walking up to you telling you he loves you and want you to be his lover..
Now you can imagine the world is loosing its sanity, man now toasting man on the street.

jossytech:
If #20b is budget for graduate is dat bad, and tht will be #40k per month and 13,888 individual each state, d govt just like using pls like slave treating nigerians like goat you feed today ans sell tommorow in market, esp d so called graduate, road side mechanic better em and Instead of em to say no n demand what u deserve, Em go quickly rush am like hungary kid rushing indomie
Here is the analysis
#20b÷500k=40k for each graduate, #240b a year for our teaming youth annually is not bad at all, our annual budget is #6trillion right men, where dose trillion go enter only God knows coz, 360 members of national assembly gulp #150b annually, #240b for 500,000 Nigerian Youth & Graduate not bad at all beside, d fund will also help their immediate families if not extended as well as friends. God help Nigerian hardworking Youth and may He bless em

What is this one saying (sipped my kunu). For your mind you don become mathematician b dat oo, abi?.. Now take my own version of calculation... The government promises to pay 23k every month for 2years which is #23k x 24months = #552000.. And dont forget you would also be trained to acquire skills which ll make you employable with probability of a better pay(sip kunu again)... And you would be given a free laptop to do what you like(dts non of my business)... Now as a correct and original naija guy which of the two deal would you prefer, the 40k one time pay or the #552000 plus laptop plus skills...
So before l change am for you now now, drop that weed you are smoking and run to the cafe to register before I report you to your mama. And dont forget to pull along those two lazy idxxts who liked your quote. And please dont put in for Npower teach.. Dnt wanna see you teaching those kids nonsense.
.. Continues with my kunu and popcorn..

philips70:
Any of you who need data to do this please drop your numbers here let me do data for you. First 5 numbers will get N1k data each. Any network.
NB: If I get 10 I will do N500 or so data

Thanks a million bro.. I was so disturbed on how to get money to subscribe to fill this form before you gave me that gigabyte.. You have just changed my orientation about giving.. So people you see, there are still good people in Nigeria.. All hope ain't lost afterall

philips70:
Any of you who need data to do this please drop your numbers here let me do data for you. First 5 numbers will get N1k data each. Any network.
NB: If I get 10 I will do N500 or so data

08130620480. Please help a fellow Nigerian.. Thanks in advance

Eni to lori o ni fila. Someone has head but has no cap..
Eni roju tun nwa airoju kiri..
Meanwhile I'm just passing through with my bowl of popcorn and soda

bamirotola:
Plz let's reason logically... ds baby is too old to be aborted.. i'm suspecting premature still birth and improper disposal... maybe the grave wasn't deep enough nd it got eroded

Exactly my thought. There is no way abortion would be carried out with the sac and the baby still intact like that..If it was abortion, the baby's body parts would have been severed.It must definitely be a case of still birth, or forced labour.

unclecycs:
The issue of Unemployment to me is a very terrible form of cancer that eats a person slowly and progressively and if not cured on time with some form of intervention by way of a job etc, such an individual if not careful will most likely deteriorate more or less become a shadow of his/her real self.
I say this using myself as a particular example because my life ,i am convinced, is a classic example of a man who has hit rock bottom due to unemployment and literally digging further down through the rock bottom as it seems like life isn't exactly done dishing out disappointments to me.
this will not be the first time i will be posting an article as regards the subject of unemployment and it wont be my last even if i eventually secure some form of gainful employment because i consider myself a really tough person and this one singular problem has really shaken me to the point i have all but lost hope.
Briefly, i am a petroleum engineer , Graduated from FUTO 2010/11 with a Beng 2'1, finished service 2012 and have remained jobless to this very minute, in retrospect i have to admit much of my problems was caused by me because maybe i was just too over confident, i was making decent grades and i was sure i wouldn't ever have a problem securing employment ,or maybe i was just unwise and at worst plain stupid. there had been a few opportunities ( say about 2) during service where i could have gained employment in a bank and maybe because i am just too fixated in an engineering job or maybe i am just not wise enough, i never really took any of these opportunities serious.
in effect i still think the problems i am facing now where caused by me and me alone because somewhere deep down i know i have what it takes to succeed in any of these 'majors'

i think if i have been to approximately 20 different job aptitude test/scholarship exams ; Akwa ibom at least 5 times Porth Harcourt at least 11 times , Lagos at least four times and i reside in calabar so one can already imagine the financial implications a well as kilometers traveled and in all this i have only made it to the second stage twice after which i crash out.

I have to mention i did an offshore safety training *(cost me money i hardly had) , hoping to get a job in Lagos cuz i was promised one only to travel to Lagos to be interviewed and i was told i could not be taken .

the worst part is the psychological/physical deterioration that comes with constant worry , the depression, the loneliness, right now i only receive a phone call from just one person, a girl am with and that's it.. i had to deactivate my Facebook because i was quite tired of going in there and seeing picture updates of my friends doing pretty well and i look at my situation and feel like a complete utter looser.
the saying that failure has no friends and success has many friends is indeed very true.. tested and trusted.

My parents (thank God i still have em both around) always try to encourage me ,telling me i should never loose hope that my time is coming but i cannot help feeling i have let them down cuz they had pretty high expectations as regards me.

So this is it, a man close to 30 with a degree , little or no relevant working experience and broke as they come. well dear friends its not over until you find yourself in a "strange land' with only angels walking about so till that time one must try never to give up

for those who have jobs and are in a potion to help , please help those you can , each one teach one and before we know it brick by brick we would have built a formidable wall against unemployment.

Again thanks to the op , i always love an opportunity to share my experiences , maybe somebody out there will learn from it.

I understand your pain. I am also close to 30..I finished from school 2012 and up till date l couldn't find a work.. And to make matter worse l couldn't even get a little money to be self employed.. I feel like a total failure and depression is setting in.. I am the first born and a lot of people are looking up to me. My fiance is the one feeding me.. What a shame on me.. Sometimes l feel like my world should just end.. But am still moving on and still hoping for the best

Please nairalander help a fellow nigerian.. I finished from school since 2012 and am yet to get a job.. Please help me oo.. I studied pure and applied Chemistry.. My email is oluwatimehinakintunde@gmail.com..
Thanks

For the wise. I saw this advert too and decided to activate it since my line is new.. I used the last 500naira from the last 700naira on me to buy Etisalat credit.. And before I activated it l called their call center to be sure if am eligible and the csr said yes.. I dialed the code and it prompted that l have insufficient balance. I was mad and called them back but they surprised me and said l have activated caller tune and they have deducted 50naira.. I got in a fight with the csr because l never subscribed to any ring back tune. I loaded another 100naira to make my balance 550naira and dialed *229*2*2#, I got a prompt again for insufficient balance.. I called them again to ask what the problem was this time around but they couldn't say anything reasonable but they said they will forward my issues to their team leader or so..
Them don do me shege, now am completely broke and I don't have megabytes to apply for job..

patee:
Hi everyone, please can someone tell me which of the day ondo state falls to in the DSSC Air force recruitment exercise in Lagos center.

Go to page 113,you ll see the list.. It is on Sunday 8th may.. M also from ondo state

Halfcastbreed:
Pinshure of your bank ID card or ahdonbiliv . Young lady stop fooling yourself. We are all grown up and graduates here ok. No one is interested if you are currently a Staff of NNPC. Puulliiiizzzzz. U don't av to put everything on social media.

By the way, for people who did medicals on April 6 and April 15 abeg who don get resumption mail

Hey the lady said nothing wrong,she was only having a banter with her buddy. Geez where is your sense of humor? You gate-crashed their discussion and you forced the lady into saying what she never wanted to say.. You said you are a graduate and a grown up, then behave as one.. Grow up man..

Pls i scored 44 in chemistry department test...pls any hope for me..environmental option Pls i scored 44 in chemistry department test...pls any hope for me..environmental option