₦airaland Forum

Lagos is by no doubt the number one capital of frustration induced suicide and the preferred choice of opting out of this world is via the lagoon by jumping off the 3rd mainland bridge.

Tiwa Savage's estranged and now divorced husband and father of her son, Teeblitz, was the pioneering Lagoon jumper. Although, he chickened out at the last minute and he preferred the posh Ikoyi link bridge (imagine he paid the toll fare on that bridge to go jump off it), more and more Lagosians have followed suit and will continue in Teeblitz's strides.

Now, what we should ask is, why are Lagosians and especially afonjas jumping into the lagoon?

I never heard of anyone attempting suicide by 3rd mainland bridge prior to Chanji, so could this be occasioned by the recession is just a word era? Or has it got something to do with the Oba of Lagos curse coming back to haunt his subjects?

Dogaro is a Christian.

The APC afonjas and almajiris did not vote for him as speaker. It was down to both the SS, SE and middle-belt reps and other northern Christians in the house that saw him win Gbamijala or whatever the fck that idiots name is.

Dogaro has been a real embarrassment to the northern muslim mafia ever since.

The Jubrin scandal of budget padding was meant to impeach him and pave way for a substantive muslim northerner as speaker but it fell flat.

So Magun is no juju after all...

Over the weekend, we told you about an Italian couple who reportedly started having sex in the Mediterranean Sea and finished in the ER, because their genitals wouldn't disunite. It sounds outlandish -- hell, we can barely figure out the physics of intercourse in the bathtub -- but there's an actual medical explanation for it. And the basic concept is pretty much this:


It's caused by a vaginal spasm, and apparently in the Italian couple's case, the water added a significant increase in suction. We asked Dr. Yvonne Fulbright -- formerly Astroglide's go-to sexologist, who now has her own line of products -- to pull us in and grip us with her knowledge...

Penis captivus started as an urban legend a long, long time ago

"Just hearing the term 'penis captivus' can have one shuddering," says Dr. Fulbright. "Penis captivus is an idea that started in medieval times. People feared that the penis could get 'sucked into' the vagina during the missionary position, possibly forever."

Legit medical studies have found evidence to support the theory

"While largely hearsay, and chalked up mostly as mythical, an article published in a 1979 issue of the British Medical Journal claims that penis captivus has occurred very rarely throughout history. Apparently, a handful of couples have gotten locked inseparably during sexual intercourse. This is actually pretty common [between] dogs."

Related: 22 Facts To Make You Feel Better (Or Worse) About Your Sex Life

Unless you're a dog, it's unlikely you'll ever experience this -- you have a better chance of winning the lottery -- but just in case, here's some advice...

"Should you ever find this actually happening, then both you and your lover need to relax and take the focus off of intercourse and anything sexy. This allows blood to leave the penis, so that he can withdraw more easily. And her pelvic floor muscles will also relax, as not to clench the shaft."

In other words, guys, for once in your life, you should think about baseball to make intercourse last shorter.

They cleaned the dressing room by themselves and left a note in Russian thanking Russia for hosting them.

I just fell in love with these gooks

lolz

I have a serious crush on this Rita babe.

She is just too damn classy and sexy at the same time.

I will realy love to shoot-up her club

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Boss13:
They didn’t state the reason why they are shutting down. The proposed products the plant is expected to
Manufacture are fast moving. Didn’t they do their NPV and IRR analysis and also take into consideration other external factors and risks.

Well I wish them well

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The said an unfavorable import tariff regime on raw materials was what is driving their production costs high coupled with other competitors cutting corners.

Useless illiterate

That afonjess gorrilla called Kemi is the reason .

She is not qualified to be a Finance Minister as she only knows how to balance accounts as an accountant and is totally bereft when it comes to fiscal and monetary policy.

The she-goat would have been better as a deputy director in IPPIS.

Ndume and Shettima are the main sponsors of BH

Zionista:
Why do I have a feeling its Shiite fighting back?

you an idiotic sunni bastard to come to this conclusion

otunbadan:
Too much Crime and Investigation channel

look well.

the 2 dead officers have bullet wounds to their right temples.

This was an orchestrated execution and NOT some random hit and run ambush

Paperwhite:
This narrative sounds incredible.Something is not adding up.

The one on the extreme left in black top is missing an arm.

Machete at work.

This won fall for wash-wash. The oldest and dumbest scam still in existence.

Nigeria is full of magas

otipoju:
Amphetamines drugs from modern labs are " traditional" charms.....is that what you are saying?

They serve the same purpose as the drug is known to induce a high level of confidence and bravery that naturally wasn't existing in a soldier.

I have seen videos of BH members high on meth strolling into the battle field oblivious of gun fire from Nigerian soldiers. Most soldiers thought this was juju but the real deal here was meth at work.

Isn't that what charms do by offering a placebo-like effect of invisibility in the battle field.

Read up on the Pharmacology of Modern Warfare and you will see how drugs are the warriors first Armour.

This does not add up


Two of the police men on the right look like they were killed in an execution style. The other one to the extreme left appears to be missing an arm and the wounds appear to have come from a machete and not a firearm.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/7357613_lokino_jpeg_jpeg370a7ef3e3a1f79b359f493d084fb2f2

They appear to have been shot at close range with a high calibre fiream to the head. Not something that can easily be done by random criminals.

If this was an ambush as claimed, then whoever shot these cops must be an expert marksman.

No AM NOT BUYING THIS NARRATIVE.

These men were executed in close range.

Also consider the two dead cops to the right; they have bullet wounds to the head and at the same right temples. This was an execution and not an ambush!

Ebola loading...

otipoju:
Then how come the boko Haram bases and terrorists are found with charms and amulets when captured or killed.

ISIS fighters are known to use amphetamines.

Besides I was talking of the northern Muslim and not BH.

bump

The nomadic Fulani man you see moving around with herd of cattle do not own up to 95% of the cows in their herd. Rather most of these cows are owned by wealthy and powerful, educated and city dwelling Fulanis who cut across from the private sector, military, civil service, politicians and powerful Amirs.

The arrangement is a simple one. A rich city dwelling Fulani man approaches the illiterate bush Fulani who falls under the Fulani sub-group (and inferior as well) known as Bororo, to supply at a given date and place a number of cows.

The Bororo is paid a fraction upfront of the cost of what the cow will sell when mature and at the market value.

A typical arrangement is about ten to fifteen thousand Naira per cow. Which will be delivered on average within one year.

The rich fulani will pay for as much as 100 herds of cow. The bush Fulani is then obliged to not only breed successfully the 100 cows but also rear and nurture them as well as deliver to the cattle market of choice of the Rich Fulani who has an agent ready to take possession and sell off the cows at an average cost of 120 - 250k depending on the location of the market (cows cost more in the south than in the north).

The Rich city dwelling Fulani is thus guaranteed to make a 1000% turnover on each cow he invests with the bush Fulani. Note, that the likes of Amir Sanusi will have at least 10 -20 bush fulani herders working for him with at least 200 cows per herder. That alone will tell you how much the Fulani elite are making off the back of their Bororo cousins.

Another point to ponder is the exponential increase of the number of Fulani herders in both the middle-belt and southern Nigeria since May 29, 2015. Most of these herders you see roaming around in the south are actually displaced Fulani from the anti-Balaka conflict in far away Central African Republic. These are displaced Fulani who the non-Muslim majority in C.A.R. have since chased out of their country. Others were encouraged to migrate from Ghana, Togo and Benin after the grand Patron of Miyetti Allah, Muhammadu Buhari who also happens to serve in the highest capacity in the apex body of the Fulani people of West Africa, was sworn in as President. Buhari today is the most powerful Fulani man on earth.

The Fulani Militia are the same with the Fulani herdsmen.

Most of the attacks carried out by the Fulani terrorist utilize Fulani herdsmen from another state to commit their atrocities.

That "friendly" Fulani that you think you know all these years in your community has taken part in at least one killing in another part of the country.

The financial gain which the city dwelling Fulani like El Rufai, Sanusi and Buhari stand to lose from the enactment of anti-grazing law is tremendous. They will do anything whatsoever to protect their hegemony in the cattle business and that not only involves wiping out any community that stand in their way to graze their cattle but any effort that will see their Bororo cousins emancipated from their enslavement - the reason why they killed the almajiri and nomadic schools set up by GEJ!

Another important point to consider on what is fueling the conflict between Fulani herdsmen and farmers, is the astronomical increase in the number of herders who as I earlier stated were deliberately imported from outside the country. Apart from having more herding slaves, the City Fulani want to grow their population and also forcefully have Fulani settlements in every corner of Nigeria so as to have a representative voice in every state to which they can grow and expand the kind of influence they have over the Awusa north and Muslim Middle Belt. The cattle colony was the very step towards that plan.

The grazing route argument was quickly discarded in prefrence to permanent Fulani settlements in the guise of Cattle colonies because there is no historical grazing route in southern Nigeria! Grazing routes were first carved out by the British in places like Nassarawa and Benue to stem the persistent Fulani encroachment on both the natives' farms but also the British operated plantations and prison farms in the middle belt.

Never had there ever been any gazetted grazing route that extended into southern Nigeria either in pre-colonial or post Colonial Nigeria. The British could not impose laws on the south without parliamentary approval and so the issue of grazing route in the north was never extended to the south. Also, the vegetation back then in the south did not encourage cow grazing as the thick virgin forests in the south harbored Tse-Tse flies which were known to be dangerous to cattle. So it would be highly foolish for someone to carve out grazing reserves across southern Nigeria when it is known that the forest harbour the dangerous Tse-Tse fly.

De-forestation in the south has pitched the south as the next target for Fulani land grabbing and they want to achieve this through replacement of the natives through genocide, forced secession of land and massive migration of Fulanis from all over West Africa and Central Africa.

If you like still be defending Fulani.

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opeyemicollins:
I can see how deluded you are .you dont even know the meaning of afonja that you are calling me. mumu

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Afonja: a self seeking myopic individual usually of the Yoruba race.