Tzoracle's Posts
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Everyday naira just dy crash like that malaysia plane Issorite Ps the headline should have been 'Naira crashes AGAIN...' Nonsense |
Idowu... Ok |
Loll |
Biology abi na inter science Has to be d latter Pencil and sharpner Mr.niger d And Nile,niger,senegal,congo,oranges limpopo and zambezzi or smtn like that |
An italian shoe perhaps |
While our government is fighting kworruption Nigerians are dying,they won't get serious till it gets to lagos and it would be all over |
femi4:Or declaration of age ![]() |
NL today is my birthday oo ![]() Oya b4 u scroll down observe d ritual |
I'm starting to like pmb He is truly a man of integrity ![]() . Who am I kidding ![]() Integrity ko integrity ni |
Uhmm.... From unilag to uniben from uniben to unn,every single copycat was a flop,iyala Oau take over Or something like that #bandwagon ![]() |
In the words of john champion Apc vs pdp Attacks and counter attacks but no way thru as yet |
tobisco29:Now that's downright gross |
winner95:I feel the pain too ![]() |
Without much ado 1.You tell her I love you,whilst waiting for the I love u too,she tells u thank you 2.She forgets your birthday and calls the next day and says,''baby you didn't call me yesterday,not like u had any special reason not to''..ouch! 3.She picks a fight with another female in a public place,your just don't know what to do. 4.She tells you baby don't u think that guy is sexy 5.You finally found her phone unlocked and see your name saved as charlie suya and the next number is emeka container ![]() 6.Your eyes stray on a generous backside and your caught 7.She asks you whose the number woman in ur life,me or your mum 8.You ask her the first time she had sex and she starts with. Errmmm...... 9.Your name is don jazzy and she mistakenly screams ola,give it to me harder 10...U knw d ritual,add yours I knw I'm supposed to mention people here buh fvck dat shiit |
humanbeing6th:Ala mma gi shigbuo gi |
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firstking01:Enam ![]() |
firstking01:Akpara |
firstking01:Ikpa ebot ![]() |
firstking01:Nton |
firstking01:Afia mfin |
firstking01:Unam ikot ![]() |
firstking01:Mbok which part |
firstking01:Ibibio in port?? Huh |
Lakush Akwaibom |
Farnsworth:I am igbo I am a student How d fvck does supporting apc benefit me #Leavetrashforlawma abeg |
Nb* I'm not apc or pdp Kowa maybe ![]() I'm just here so pdp wouldn't cry foul if things don't go their way |
So I'm on my way back from the holz to AKS,and as I pass the road I see freshly painted apc ward signs almost everywhere I turn. I felt like the apc was just waisting their money campaigning as everybody had beleived AKS was and is still a tight pdp state. But that is no longer the story on ground,as I got back to base the dissatisfaction with udom emmanuel's style of governance has risen from a slight murmur to full blow outrage. This is especially among civil servants who are having their salaries slashed and are now owed december salaries,the first time in a long stretch that salaries are not being paid,and here in the story comes in umana... Some parties are clamouring for a change in governance and an alignment with the centre and with umana's number growing by the day,pdp is loosing ground and it should not come as a surprise if apc wins although how slight it might be. |
lekjons:Sometimes ignoring is a part of being the better party,what's now different between him and you |
ayinde2ade:Trust me once u start,u won't stop |
Source: thenextweb.com Cc:lalasticlala,mzoracle,tourismlove I know its lengthy but its quite witty |
301. You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. 302. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. 303. Roses are red violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic and so am I. 304. Ham and Eggs: A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 305. If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2? 306. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. 307. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege! 308. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. 309. The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. 310. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 311. Strangers have the best candy. 312. Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art. 313. Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion. 314. Trust but verify. 315. The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. 316. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. 317. The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. 318. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers? 319. I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again. 320. If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap? 321. How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it. 322. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 323. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive? 324. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. 325. Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot. 326. Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. 327. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. 328. It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !! 329. Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo. 330. I think, therefore I’m single. 331. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat. 332. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? 333. When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas! 334. I bet you I could stop gambling. 335. The only difference between the people I’ve dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him. 336. Sex on tv can’t hurt unless you fall off. 337. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 338. Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts! 339. If a dog sniffs your ass, you’re probably a bitch. 340. Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor’s office is full of portraits by Picasso. 341. Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before. 342. 668 – The neighbour of the beast. 343. I love MouthAction…it’s the phone bill I hate. 344. Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. 345. Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children. 346. I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. 347. The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years! 348. Squirrels – nature’s speed bumps. 349. When you go to the drugstore, why are the condoms not in with the other party supplies? 350. It’s bad luck to be superstitious. 351. There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot. 352. The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common “enemy”. 353. Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard. 354. With a calendar, your days are numbered. 355. If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 356. The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. 357. It’s not the bullet that kills you, it’s the hole. 358. I ran three miles today. Finally I said, “Lady take your purse.” 359. If good things come in small packages, then more good things can come in large packages. 360. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg. 361. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! 362. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one. 363. A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture. 364. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone 365. Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween. 366. Married men live longer than single men, but they’re a lot more willing to die. 367. If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila! 368. Beauty is only skin deep…but ugly goes all the way to the bone! 369. A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste. 370. A hard thing about a business is minding your own. 371. Most women don’t know where to look when they’re eating a banana. 372. If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger … 373. Does time fly when you’re having sex or was it really just one minute? 374. We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour 375. If you’re going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream! 376. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. |
or smtn like that



those are nt major roads...u'd only find designated bus stops on ph aba express road...ami nke mana ke ph