Kobojunkie:
The best distraction then is to try to immerse yourself into a book. So get to it as soon as you can so you can begin to save your own self the soonest.

Ok! I will do just that.

Stevenbright:


You have to do whatever you think is best for you because you are the only one who can fight for yourself.

If taking the right decision right now will make you have differences with your dad, do it. Later when you are already standing on your feet, you can make it up to him. Cheers!

Noted! Thanks bro.
Your advise is welcome.

Stevenbright:


There are two approaches I will advise you to apply:

One is to not pick up issues with your dad and continue to coexist with him at his house while you await the release of your result.

Secondly, while waiting, go out and get a job to do no matter how small the pay. It will give you both financial freedom and mental/psychological stability. Also ensure you start saving too no matter how small! This second action will give you the needed work experience while preparing you on how to live an independent life.

Once the result comes out and your dad delayed in fixing you up as promised, you will know he has no plans for you. At this point, use your savings to move out of his domain and forcus on building yourself to become the success you desire.

Thanks for your advise, sir.
Actually I have been tolerating the attitude of my stepmom and if I continue staying here with dem... I might likely end up having misunderstanding with her and that's what I really don't want becuz she's an elderly woman. Sir, it's just too much for me... I really feel so lonely and depressed.
Getting a job in dis remote environment is not easy even there's no decent job that can suit my standard rather than helping someone to cultivate his or her farm....and that's what my family have subjected me into since I'm at home dey now go into farming and lve me to do all the work.....

How long do I need to wait for the result to be release..... I cannot continue leaving my life dis way. I wish I had money I would have started something lucrative with it but right now and fuckin stranded even I can't even afford 10naira for myself. How long do I continue to wait... The environment is very poor no place to secure a decent job.

Though! I have made up mind to join military despite that my Dad is against it but right now I had no choice and I want to totally free myself from dis bondage... Anytime the result is ready I would collect it and keep it somewhere...

So I intended having dis discussion with my Dad to see his reaction. So I don't know whether I should go on

cobby14:
Never compare yourself to the next man, you don’t know what it took for that person to get there.
If you keep on relying on your dad, you might get your freedom only when you turn 50 years or so. Your world, your choice and stop using your dad as an excuse for not performing to your capability. The thing is, your dad does not give a f**k about you but still stuck to the old way of things.

So were do I start from?Though! I have decided and already made up my mind to join the military thought my Dad is against it..... But dis time I want to do things my way because if I don't take d decision now.... That's how I will continue waiting at home depending on him till I will get to 50 like u rightly said.

Failure2019:
Go and join HK



Hustle leave your Papa's house .

Where do I start from? I lve in a remote area and it's bearly 2month I came to dis environment.

Kobojunkie:
1. My diagnosis is you need to do some serious work on your ability to critically reason your life, your situation, and resolve as an individual so you can better comprehend your situation as you actually ought to. Since you are able to access the internet, then I suggest you start by downloading a copy of books on the subject of logical/critical reasoning/thinking so you can begin to grow your mind and as such become able to logically analyze your decisions, and the world around you, including your life. I recommend you begin with the book Being Logical because it is tailored to the beginner. There are other books out there on the very same subject, and I have taken the time to list other recommendations. All of these books are available for download from PDfDrive.com, and I believe they will be of great benefit to you. As you read through each, endeavor to put into practice everything you learn towards critically reasoning your many day-to-day issues. The key is to put into regular(continuous) practice what you learn so you become a more logical being than you are today.

■ Being Logical
■ The Art of Thinking in Systems
■ A Practical Guide to Critical Thinking and Deciding What to Do and Believe
■ A Rulebook For Arguments
■ A Workbook For Arguments
■ Critical Thinking and Problem Solving
■ The Art and Craft of Problem Solving

Download the first book today, and start off right away. Since you say you do nothing all day, devoting the entire month of April to this endeavor will be a good place to start. After you have worked hard at this task, you can come back by the end of April to maybe ask your question again — create a whole new thread and OP argument — to show you have critically reasoned your situation and maybe come to a better understanding of how you got to be where you are today.

I appreciate ur kind words....And I will try as much possible to read those books.. that's if i Am not preoccupied with any activity,Because dey have subjected me to workaholics since am jobless.


Well! I have decided to obtain military form whenever it's out but My Dad is against it and and he's well connected but he won't allow me or rather support me.... Right now am not in my right sense of mind ... I'm going insane.
Suicide is now my second option..... I just can't take the humiliation anymore.

Kobojunkie:
1. According to you, you had a job and hence freedom but you chose to give it up in order to return home to your Dad. I don't understand exactly how you expect freedom to be given to you when it instead seems you ain't ready for it, and this from your own action.

2. Why does your dad need to be at home and why do you feel you need to run your plans by him? I really don't get it. Here's a question I need to ask at this point in order that I make sure I am not creating problems where for you here.... are you developmentally challenged?

I'm sound and healthy

Kobojunkie:
1. Did your dad promise you that he had a job waiting at home for you or something?

By the way, I do not think or reason as you do so from where I sit, you seem to prefer to heap the blame for your many bad decisions on your dad. This bad decision, for example, you blame your father when you admit to quitting the job you had on hand without first making sure you had another to fall back on.

Actually Dad as been sending me feeding money while in school and due to much responsibility he's shouldering he had no choice than to ask me to return.... Though! I blame my Dad for not giving me the freedom that I deserve. My Dad is a kind of person that doesn't want is children to far away from home so that's why I had to oblige and come over. Although, the money I was receiving at my place of work can't even cover-up some of my needs that is why I chose to quit.

My Dad is not always at home and that makes it very complicating for me becuz I would have sit him down and tell him my next plan

Kobojunkie:
1. You had to quit or you chose to quit so you could go back home and curl up in the safety of home?

You no serious, English na ur mate.
I chose to quit becuz Dad wanted me to come home and I thought maybe when I come over I might see a job that's far better than the one I was into.

easytig:
Try and be more social to people both guys and girls mostly in your age bracket,even if they snub you ,just smile and greet them again,just warm up to people in church or mosque,a little greetings here and there, don't toast d girls,just compliment them and introduce yourself ,be friendly,dress well,smell nice,can you drive,if not try learning,the earlier the better.you are young,pick interest in a lot of things.by the way what tribe are you.

Thank you,sir. dis is really helpful. I'm a native of Akwa ibom.

Kobojunkie:
So, you were also at home doing nothing when you created this other thread?
https://www.nairaland.com/7347149/decided-accept-new-changes-place#116922302

Actually I created that thread when I was still in school, I was into teaching den... And as soon as I rounded up my program, I had to quit and come back home.

Kobojunkie:
1. Do you mean you literally sit home all day doing nothing at this age?

Yes ooo.

GboyegaD:


You guys should take action. It seems you guys feel the school is doing you a favor or how do you explain you graduated and your result is yet to be collated and released?

Thank you, sir..... I think I need to inform my colleagues so that we could take necessary action.

MrBrownJay1:


i guess you dont watch p0rn but p0rn appeared on your phone by miracle, abi?!

May God have mercy on you

GboyegaD:


Were you the only one in your program? Have others gotten their results? At this time, you can either petition the university to the Nigerian University Commission or take them to court.

Well! I'm not the only student that took part on that program. I and my fellow colleagues are still waiting patiently for the result.

MrBrownJay1:


are you not the one a few days ago that told us your story of getting busted with p0rn on your phone?

Yah! But I don't watch it, dey only saw it on my phone.

GboyegaD:
What school was it and what program did you do? Why is it taking years to get your statement of result? Until you know what is delaying the results, it is very difficult to advise you.

In the meantime, if you are a social science student who is cool with been an accountant, you can register for and complete the ACCA in three years which gives you a BSc from Oxford Brookes University and also, a professional certificate that is widely accepted both in Nigeria and Overseas.

Yah! I'm a social science student and i study political science/edu..... I really don't know why
d result is taking long to be released.

MrBrownJay1:


you can either A) follow what your father wants you to do and blame him for whats happening to you OR B) do what you want to do with your life and accept the consequences of such action. good luck in your choice, but tremember to stay away from p0rn video and/or always lock your phone, lol!!

thanks bro. But what does porn video got to do with dis.... 😡😡😡😡.
I no like ham.

Please bear with my grammatical errors
In a couple of months, I will be turning 27 and I feel am far behind my mate and I'm not successful with whatever I choose to do.... No achievement to boast of, I already feel like a failure, some times I goes into depression because of the huge responsibility ahead of me....
When I was 18yrs, I was so sure of what I was going to become but as time goes on everything started falling apart.


My story goes dis way..... I believe I have been living my life for the sake of my Dad.... Who has always been in control of everything concerning me.... While growing up at the early stage of my life Dad and my late stepmom were very strict on us..( I and my brother), I have always live a life of fear... We were never permitted to have friends not even associating with my distance relatives Because dey see them as evil. I was never social and I live a boring life throughout even getting to dis present stage.
I have always been a loyal son to my Dad, always submissive and obedient to him.
Even the school I went to, it was my Dad's choice.on getting there i got to discover it was a part-time programme instead of Full-time, I informed Dad about it and he instructed me to continue with it.since am not the one paying for my school fees. I knew I was never going to do well because I was too young to put in for part-time program... I believe part-time is meant for the working class people..... Fast-forward I graduated and it's been a year that I've been waiting to obtain my statement of result. And according to a friend of mine, he told me it might take up to 3years before it will be ready and I think it's just too much. I'm begining to lose patience. As soon as i rounded up my studies, Dad ask me to come home... And now, here I'm with Dem.
Things has been very rough for me ever since I came back home, I'm Just stranded always indoor, no freedom to do whatever I want to do. Few days back i went to check what I can lay my hands to do just to get little cash, At least to maintain myself and take care of some of my essential needs but when I came back home, I was been caution to mind the way I go out otherwise it won't be funny. {Just imagine}
At dis stage when am supposed to be totally independent am still asking my Dad to give me money to have my haircut, to buy boxers ,foot wears and so on. Sometimes I get insulted before been given.
When I was in school Dad married without my consent on returning home..... My stepmom now looks down on me as a failure including my younger siblings..... I'm just tired of everything .... I have always try not to apply force so that I won't messed up everything for myself.i try not to do anything illegal in other to keep my good reputation but Right now, I want to stand out and become the best version of myself.... I don't mind going extra mice just to achieve my purpose.... If I don't make a choice now, I will be kicked out from the house anything soon....and I believe my step mom is working towards that becuz she sees me as an obstacles to d house.
My Dad is an influential person he has promised to secure a job for me by d time my result would be out and how long do I need to wait.... But I think that's just am empty promise becuz a time will come when he will force me to lve his house. And right now.
I'm tired of saying thank u ma thank you sir..... It's just too much me and I believe anytime soon dey might even as me to start watching plate......
I think I'm a loser already and Right now am considering leaving the house at least to start from some where.

Karlifate:


Suicide doesn't terminate your "suffering", it only extend it to the great beyond.

First, you need to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, others can't love you.
The energy you give into the universe, it returns back to you — Positive or negative.

Concentrate on the areas of your strength. The more accomplishments you make, the more you feel good & confident about yourself.

@ first bolded: 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You don't have relatives or people genuinely interested in you 😂😂
Then, you're the problem. Stop being a narcissist & full of yourself. Reach out to people, show you care about them genuinely & they'll warm up to you.

Volunteer and/or join groups in several platforms; community, religious, other social groups etc. Be proactive & useful, people will see it and will willing associate with you, without you having to live fake life to attract them.

@ second bolded:
The life of a man is continuous challenge.
This is a way of proving to yourself that nothing is wrong with you, that you're sociable & a good person. Read, learn more about happenings around you & in life, in general. This will help you to make meaningful contribution wherever you find yourself.
It will also boost your self-confidence.

@ third bolded:
As a man, no one will 'love' you if you're not valuable. Only women, children & pets enjoy that luxury.
So, what are you doing to become the best version of yourself at 27? (This is a rhetorical question)

Those people will continue to look down on you & treat you like trash, until you demonstrate your value, in deed & indeed.


Sayonara.

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement and this is what I have been expecting to hear. I believe I can start from somewhere to become the best version of myself.
My life has really been a messed, sometimes I blame my Dad for leading me to dis kind of lifestyle... Dad has always been d one dictating almost everything for me.... He as never gaven me the chance to make a choice of want I really want in life... And believe I time will come that he will kicked me out from the house

Shhhh01:
"Though! I don't watch porn video, it has been on my phone for long perhaps I even thought I deleted it." please explain. how can u not watch it but have it on ur fone and tot u deleted it bro? ha. lie lie you.

Bro! I no lie seriously...... I be don forget say I still get that kind stuff for there.

[img][/img][color=#990000][/color]

Goldbw122:

You are just like me, I pray they don’t catch me one day, my phone is always with me, men you have enter the deep ocean don’t worry everything will blow over with time, well your brother will understand in a long run, you just got to tell him that next time never open something I lock on my phone and tell your mother that it is someone that you are keeping the porn for simple and straight.

Bad guy...... No worry, na turn by turn.

Allisgud:
the solution is to stop washing porn,if it were superman u cought him washing u won't call it see finish

[b][/b]but he Bleep up big time. At least he would have confided in before voicing out.

Isabi4lov:
You're welcome, let's reach out via emails.

Ok

Isabi4lov:
You're welcome

That's just it , learn how to control your state of mind, your thoughts and the things you view online .

There's nothing impossible, even the word impossible is possible .

You can actually start today and see how it goes , you'll be tempted but have it mind that you're to overcome the addiction.

I would also like to hear from you tomorrow on how it went , if you don't mind .

Thanks for showing concerning towards me, pls can I have your WhatsApp line at least to reach out to you.

Isabi4lov:


It does affect , I never read any book , I just made up my mind never to watch it .

I don't feel anything sensual again online , like looking at some ladies nudes , especially TikTok, even watching a sex tape , it doesn't move me anymore.

The thing is you've to be in control of your mind , make a decision never to watch them , engage in other things .

I would never have watched it , had it been I was engaged with someone online , like chatting and the likes.

Sometimes I get my self busy by reading stories online , whether they're true or not .

Just get yourself busy , I wish I had a good phone or laptop, I will just sign up some courses online to improve my self.

Ok! Thank you. I will just have to learn how to control my state of mind.

Isabi4lov:
Reason why I detest porn , it makes you loose focus on other things , especially your relationship and relationship with God, thank God I don't cherish it right from time .

Anytime I finish watching porn , I do feel an emptiness inside of me and sometimes I would be like , why do I even need a relationship.

Three days I just decided to watch porn due to the fact that I was literally Hot , I was expecting my guy to be online so that we can have some naughty chats .

After watching the porn , I felt relieved , the next day I was just angry unnecessarily with my guy , lemme say mood swing kinda of .

Since the beginning of this year , I can say I have only watched it once or twice .

Since that time , I never want to have the urge to watch it cos it will definitely affect my relationship.

Honestly to candid with you. I am so much addicted to porn.. it's really affecting me psychologically, I can't really come out from it and it's really giving me concern. There's no single day that pass by that I don't watch it even after been caught I still watch it overnight.

Is there any recommended textbook that can help me to stop dis act.

sinola:
that your brother sef...he should have called your attention first instead of choosing to embarrass you in the pubic of igwe mmadu

That's what I expected from him.... Anyway! He's not matured enough.

PDJT:


-You will be okay.

-In order to heal properly, you must call a family meeting, exclusively of those who saw the video, then sincerely apologise to them and promise them it won't happen again.

-Then privately speak to your mum and ask her whether she doesn't mind you having a girlfriend you could be meeting outside the family home. She will understand, but may protest initially. If she still reject your request, then send me her number so I can speak to her in adult language.

-However, if you're already old enough to fly the nest, you must start making plans to move out immediately and start your own family. Then, you can marry as many women as you can handle. In my youth, I was very active and knew early on that one woman can't satisfy me, so I married two- To God be the glory, and if the economy improves I might seal the third deal.

Oh! Going for d third one. sir! I think you should be contented with dos 2. Too much of everything is not good, sir.
Anyway! Thanks for your understanding sir.

[quote author=Deepfeel post=122046093]
What nemesis? There is nothing wrong about watching porn as long as you don't go out to rape anyone or harasse anyone sexually[/quot
I hear you, boss.

iamdexzy:
So all of us must say NO to porn Bcus u were caught.. They caught u bro not me..

You beta repent before nemesis catch up with you.

Dotman2210:
Inasmuch I won't advise you to be watching it in the first place, why having such videos on your when you can just stream? And after streaming make sure you clear your browser history,

You're welcome

Noted sir