₦airaland Forum

poshestmina:
Growth,Grace and fulfillment 🙏

Thank you so much, dear

Before I ever thought of joining the military, Nairaland was the only place I could pour out my heart. It was where I shared my worries, frustrations, and confusion and I remain grateful to everyone who encouraged me during those dark days.
In 2023, life hit me hard. I had just returned home after my final university exams, hoping for peace and a fresh start. Instead, things became unbearable. Living at home became a daily battle. My dad and stepmom mocked me at every opportunity. They called me names, reminded me of everything they felt I lacked, and made me feel like I was already a failure even before life had the chance to begin.
It reached a point where even a simple plate of food came with insults. “Eating is the only thing you know how to do,” they would say. Those words cut deeper than they realized. At 27, I had nothing of my own no job, no income, no independence. I depended on my dad for small pocket money, and even that came with humiliation.
That pain built something inside me a quiet strength, a determination I didn’t know I had. One day, instead of breaking down, I decided to rise. I gathered myself and applied for the Nigerian Army. Joining the military was never part of my plans, but life pushed me toward it, and I chose to be brave enough to follow.
Today, I look back with no regrets.
The military didn’t just give me a uniform it gave me structure, confidence, and a purpose. It taught me resilience. It forced me to grow. And it showed me that I am capable of far more than what anyone ever believed.
Life is different now. I am respected at home. I provide for myself. I walk with dignity. I no longer rely on anyone for survival, and the same people who once mocked me now speak to me with regard.
My journey wasn’t smooth, but pain pushed me toward my purpose. And that purpose shaped the man I am becoming one step, one challenge, one victory at a time.

ahmedsaniadamu:
Same situation I'm facing bro, it's just like you are narrating my story everything is the same.
But thank God i already work for a company remotely as a web developer but she was ignorant she know I work but she don't know what I earn monthly,
she destroy the relationship between I and my father and he always judge her right what ever she did to me. step mothers are evils.
we always fight. he always blame me that I fight with his wife, my mother death since I was young, I really thank God for not being jobless since I used to feed my self, I just sleep in the house and move out early morning she totally destroy the relationship with me and my father in my father is old man they are hard to understand things because she formatted his brain and fill it with rubbish.
I really agree that females are very dangerous I'm 26yrs old .
my next plan is to build even a small house and move away from that house.
Life is not easy for some people bro just keep praying. the way I get this well paying job you will get urs too and leave that ignorant, dumb, nonsense woman called(stepmother) because God is totally with us.

Amen ooo

id4sho:
I pity anyone who doesn't know their tactics. We had one B4 pops death. Assets worth 500M down the drain. They Sabi church and prayers, all na scam. Very diabolical and wicked. Matter long abeg

Brother man...... Your point valid.
Same thing apply to my stepmom, she pretend alot.she doesn't miss church program and she prays as if she's a saint and that's why my Dad so much believe in her cuz of her fake prophecy.

Streetmovement:
Wotoporiously speaking

Op, if na me she no go fit do am irrespective of who she is and who brought her into the family, I'm respectful, calm and easy to deal with, never afraid of any bagger but i no too well like that if anger set in...sorry but your papa na Bleep up nigga for letting her trash you like that, as long as she maintain her lane me and her no for get issue.

Goodluck on whatever you choose to do 👍

Thanks for your advise bro

CaveAdullam:
The best way to treat manipulative people is to pretend you don't know their game but stay behind the scenes and counter their games.

You counter their games by mirroring their actions toward them.

Predators fear other predators. Predators only go for the weak. Ditto for manipulative people - they go for the weak and foolish. They fear those who understand their game.

With your stepmother, the best you could've done is what you've done, which is leaving the house for good.

Step-parents can't treat their stepchildren the way they will treat their kids. Stepchildren are a biological threat. I digress.

Your first allies in life - father and mother has failed you. It's then up to you to take yourself of the mess and do something good for yourself. It isn't your fault, but such is life.

Being part of the army is a cool one provided your head miss all the future headshots. Else, you just made a big mistake. But I understand. Except you gonna be an army officer.

Even in the army, you will see and experience manipulations and oppressions of the highest level, one in which your stepmother can't be qualified to compete with. Lol.

I wish you a safe end, dear friend.

Thanks.

Much appreciated sir.

I really appreciate everyone's advise and I promise to be the best version of myself when I go out there to join the military.i didn't chose to join the army so that I can intimidate people with my military power rather I chose to join the military to be financially independent and also another escape root to leave the house and totally free myself from my manipulative step mother who thinks that I am not useful to myself.

jaydeevaa:
story of my life...the worst part is that my own stepmother is a so called pastor...but she has said negative things, lies about me to literally everyone who cares to give her listening ears and pretends to my face....and it's all borne out of jealousy....my own way of punishing her is by 'not giving her shi shi'...but my dad and step siblings are my priorities

my brother! stepmothers are very wicked, I don't know whether na so all of them be cuz I see shege for dis life.... lost my mum 6 month after giving birth to me and ever since then naim my suffering started till I finally ended up with dis one were dem just marry yesterday come our house and now she wants to start claiming entitlement. Dis woman frustrated my life to an extent that I thought of committing suicide.
Ever since Daddy retired from his work she has been acting wired trying to create hated between father and his children maybe cuz of the money dey want to pay my father and she's doing all dis to win favor in the eyes of my Dad.

Ganjafama:
So she has no child for your father?

Yes

aliscomonaj:
Quit them fast bro. You can chat me i will tell you more

Why do u suggest that I should quit the military job?
If u have any useful advice for me u can reach me Via-WhatsApp
08134619146

Solofresh2:
If you must deal with her then you must be tactical with it.Make she no go use am destroy your family relationship patapata oo

I gat your point, bro. Dis woman frustrated my life to an extent that I thought of commiting suicide cuz d truma was too much.

Solofresh2:
Stay away from them and move on with your life or deal with that woman mercilessly.
Choose one

I go deal with her mercilessly...... She dey look for all means to born for my father so that she can claim entitlement.

You're very current.
We were asked to report tomorrow

Ireportlive:



In my journey through life one thing I learnt is how to be self sufficient and self reliant even if it means limiting my expenses


Second lesson, nobody is above reprimand and scolding


..

You said nobody is above scolding I agree with you on that but it should be done moderately not at the expense of neglecting my feelings and present stage in life.
Am 27yrs old no be small piking I be.

Why does my stepmother keep ruining my life, manipulating the people around me, and keep doing things that hurt me and my siblings?
Life has been so unbearable ever since she came into our house.....
She constantly seek to destroy the good relationship that I have with my father and When she notice that am not around she start condemning me infront of my father and pretend to be nice when she sees me.
And dis woman already have 2 children that are upto my age but she doesn't talk much about dem but instead prefer to gossip us to my father..... My father on d other side is not even responsible as a man but instead prefer to sit with her and download all our past life to her in which she now later use it against I and my siblings.
My experience with dis so call people call family wasn't a child's play. They made my life look miserable for me
after graduating from school so i decided to come home to stay with dem pending till when my results will be out but instead dis people use my eyes see shege. My unknown step mother wan suffer me with food and I nearly die of hunger.
I just couldn't tolerate their attitude anymore so I decided to purchase Army form when it came out online.
And God saw me through the screening process and I made it to the final list in which we will be going for training soon.

Once everything goes well for me I intent to ghost dem cuz dis was never my plan to join the military.

I'm cool and gentle, will cherish my woman with lot of love.

frozen70:
Now I understand how sensitive it is

May God make a way for you

Amen

frozen70:
So sorry about your situations and disappointment from your family especially your dad

See just hope ok God and look for any job to do, even if you can get a casual job

Very soon uoir step mum will ask you to leave that house and cause problems between you and dad and her

And trust your dad, he will support your step mother

What about the job you were hustling while I'm school that gave you some little money, can't you go back to it

Whats the major problem you had in school that you are yet to go for service

Thanks for your words of encouragement and ur understanding, I attended sandwich program in a private colleges of edu and d school was affiliated with d state university upon my completion of d program, we were told that some students are still owing alot and our results can only be released if 70% of the school fees is been remitted to d main state university, so as it's I'm fed up already. Well! U ask about the place I was hustling while in school.... I would have love to go back but my place has been taken cos someone else has taken over, I was into teaching.

Even at that my going back will cos me alot cos no fund to foot my tf and house rent.

...

Hahaha! You're funny indeed, you just remind me of my experience in school that year.

That year for school naso my roommate for school been bring his girlfriend to our room and during the night period, dey started making love and the girl was moaning loudly...omoh! Konji nearly kill me that night...
I just pretended to be asleep till dey finish. The nextday naso the girl wake-up and when I looked at her, she was feeling shy cos she knew I saw everything..... Not sooner or later she started flirting with me and I just couldn't reciprocate cos I wasn't that spoiled.

Kobojunkie:
30 Topics on Nairaland and almost every one of them you are consumed with your person and self. Na content creation dem dey call this one?

**yawn***

I no understand you very well...... Make me understand better.

fbtowner:
I didn’t read all you wrote. I just saw where you said you’re 27.

The age 25-30 is a very tough stage in a man’s life. When I say tough I mean very tough. You have to hang in there and keep having hope at thesame time keep working as hard and smart as you can. You have just 3 years to cross. Stay strong

All the best.

Thanks for your understanding,sir.
But still can I still summon courage to tell him about my plans

Sorry for my bad write-up and long episode... I just feel like dropping dis to clear off my mind

Hello! Guys ..... I'm in a depress state right now
cos life as been so tough and miserable for me. Sometimes I feel like just taking my life.
This is how it goes..... My Dad has always been promising me heaven and earth while I was still immatured and I nurture that in mind thinking there is no need for me to stress myself since my Dad is well connected.
I rounded up my Degree program at school since last year and till date I have not been given my result due to some issues from d school.... So Dad ask me to come home that he has a job for me, as in . A place for me to work pending till when my result will be ready, so before then I was already working but though the money I was been paid wasn't enough but still manageable. So I transported myself home by the time I got home I discovered there was no work anyway and ever since then I was left stranded till dis very moment. Dad was never at home to see what I was going through for d past 9month I've been at home. It got to a point that my step mother that's not up to a year that my Dad got married to is now giving me attitude saying I've over stayed my welcome. I have an elder brother who would be rounding up soon in school, so Dad ask him to comeover without any plan for him... So I told him not to come. so that he won't end up just like me, we happen to stay in 1 sef con which has just a parlor and a single room and we are 4children/adult ( cos I and my brother are no longer kid anymore) in d family and I can't imagine us staying in same roof in a remote environment in which u can't work to get means of income., Sometimes I Dodge my neighbors just to avoid them from unnecessary misjudgment. So Just of a recent Dad got retired from service and he's at home fully now. So I decided to wait for him to discuss the plans he has for me only for him to tell me about one online business like that wish I believe to be scam, and he has already invested alot there, if not up to half a million. He was been brainwashed and He promise to register me with d sum of 150k to start mine even at that I tried to let him see reason why it's a scam but he decline saying I don't know anything. I just allow him have his way.. I once fell victim of dis online business before which has led me to dis present condition that I'm in today after saving alot back then in school I invested on dis rubbish stuff and everything gone. Money that I was supposed to use and start up something for myself all gone.
Right now, am a bit confuse about everything .
So I thought of engaging him on a discussion about my plans but I'm a bit scare cos I don't know how he will react to it.....
I was considering applying for military, Army to be precise and I just needed his little support cos of his influence but my Dad dislike Army job, he doesn't want any of his children to join so right now I'm scare and I don't know how to go about it.

Things about me ...
I have always live all my life in fears.
No cordial relationship between I and my father.
Can't even summon courage to discuss with him
Mind u, I'm 27yrs old with no hope.
I feel as if my life is been trapped or rather I'm just too weak trying to give unnecessary excuse.
What step do I take house?
I need fatherly and motherly advice

Don't be surprised dey might be also suffering in abroad there....... Nobi to find one beautiful restaurant just sit there and take fine picture

The story no clear.....
So many questions need to be attend to before we will know who is at fault
Did u ever offended him in anywhere?

Nice write-up

0p! You better stick to your friend advise....... He may have a reason why he ask you not to relocate to U. S. A. According to your write-up u are working under government with a good pay and u don't know how lucky u are.

Jennyclay:
I won’t be bothered if he pays or not.

But I will always have my way of collecting back x10 of every single amount he ate in my restaurant without him even knowing.

Ever since I've been following your comment you always have wrong impressions on your comment box.

harqinhola:
Yes , I will . Especially if it was a mistake and my wife is sincerely apologetic.

Mr simple spotted

I love this post. I showed this post to my family & they also loved this post.
We want the progress of dis country.

Guy be calming down, very soon breeze go blow and fowl ynash go open and when e open kasala go shele for everyway.
Whatever your Presido is hiding will come to reality.