₦airaland Forum

chaircover: I think we are back to square one again and which is if BOTH of them are happy with it and they are able to make the best out of it then good for them. . . .however having said that, one cant overlook the fact that when a couple sleep and share a lot together, it does strengthen the bond.

If one needs to permanently stay alone to function well, then maybe that person shouldn't be in a relationship that involves one being expected to do otherwise #justsayin

Do you know that a mundane point like the wife "squeezing the toothpaste from the middle" while the husband squeezes his from the bottom has caused some divorce in some families? Do you think it would have happened if she had her own room/bathroom?

ileobatojo:



Or addicted to online dating, p*orn or e-s*ex. You know lots of "space" is needed for this.

The girl dated this guy for 2 years and afterwards decided to marry him, if he could please her for 2 years, why not now. There was no report of p*on here, don't derail the topic.

Winneygirl: Obviously!! That is Y she is complaining. She is soo in love and d respect is swelling her head, she just can't help but complain.

"Oya go to Ur room".

That is wat U tell children!

P.S: Na where She go carry dis stone-age man from?

There is no place in the story where the man commanded her to her room, well you are right the woman should walk away if she is not comfy wif the sleeping arrangement. Another divorce, we are counting how many homes you people have broken with your advice.

andromida: Stranger than fiction. Imagine the audacity! demanding joint accounts after tactically separating himself from her. Locks everywhere to keep who out? strangers? why didn't he discuss all these with her and see if she would have bitten the bullet. He should have looked for a woman who is like him, who likes her "peace" away from him. Advice your friend to avoid having babies for now until she is comfortable with whatever is going down that is if she ever will be. He conned her mehn!

Why didn't she ask him in the begining?

chaircover: very true! but it would have even been worse for this same couple if they stayed in separate rooms.

Or even better, the distance between them may give them the gap to desire each other, some people just needs to stay alone before they can function well. Have you ever wondered why some people decide to be sailors or other jobs that keeps them far from their family and friends? To enjoy their loneliness, in fact, to celebrate it.

greatgod2012: believe me, marriage with the right partner, with the person you really love, is a medicine for loneliness...........and for those things you highlighted above, you can do them together with your better half(your spouse), and the ones you cant do together, you can excuse yourself out to another room when you want to do them.
May God help us all.

At least you are good enough to admit there are some things you can excuse yourself and do alone in another room, the truth is coming out.....

chaircover: You are absolutely right . . . Lets just say that the bedroom is the engine room of the house and the most serious life changing and the most silly conversations in that our bedroom. No bedroom and we might as well be strangers.
it def promotes bonding

A couple can live for many years in the same bedroom and still be strangers?

greatgod2012: Many wise sayings up there.
He that has ear, let him hear what the spirit is saying........separate rooms is not advisable for couples, when you get married, you are supposed to become one, so i dont really see any space that some are clamouring for here, its good, its encouraged, its beneficial, its biblical and yes, polite for husbands and wives to sleep in the same room.
If you think your spouse do not worth sleeping with in the same room, if you see it as impolite to sleep in the same room with your spouse, then, its advised not to tie the knot with him/her.
It has so many benefits, of which are.......
1. Close companinship.
2. Improves efficient and effective communication.
3. Breeds closeness/oneness.
4. Promotes quick settlement of disagreements/ misunderstandings.
5. Facilitates spousal warmth.
6. Promotes interesting/meaningful lovemaking.
However, the risks/dangers/disadvantages are the opposites of the points highlighted above.
Meanwhile, im speaking from experience.
May God help us all.

Let's look at your points, and I supply you the opposites and you will see the difference.

1. The closeness could also mean invasion of privacy.
2. That communication can easily be abused by a nagging partner, disturbing your sleep and increasing the problem.
3. Breeds too much closeness which may lead to abuses, physical or emotional.
4. Quick settlement? No way, most times a quarrel needs distance to think well and clear your heads. Sleeping together is like bringing flame to gunpowder, physical abuse may follow.
5. Or facilitates the suffocation of love due to too much familiarity.
6. When you don chop the whole lovemaking for 30 years under 3 years, divorce is the next thing as there are no longer new things to learn about each other.

Sometimes we need to chop life small small, the fewer the close moments the more memorable and sweet to look forward to it.

ileobatojo: Could you clarify what types of things you need space for? Both during the day and in the middle of the night please.

Some people grew up as loners, enjoying their privacy as they grew up and all through adolescence. It will difficult to adapt easily with anybody trying to share your space. Some people are so different, some pray at night, some read at night, some need to focus and think deeply without distractions at night, man or woman.

aadetoyin: Abeg don't Bite me!!! I said my opinion and u don't have to agree with it.
And for ur information I am married so calm down when u re responding to people that don't think ur way.
I am married and I can never have separate rooms becos its harder to keep malice that way but since u re a malice professional then u can sleep beside ur spouse for days without talking. Seems u must be really good at doing that.
In my home, we trash issues before going to bed. I wonder how some people sleep well knowing u re angry with the person next to u.

How can you sleep on the same bed with an angry woman, she can wake up at night and break your head. Our ancestors kept their wives on seperate houses in the compound, that was why the marriages lasted forever then.

It is very normal, men needs their space a lot.

candygosh: Hhmnnn
My advice might sound blunt. But its all I can give.

RUN so far away from him while ur legs can still carry u.

There is no big deal in seperate rooms, because,

The man farts too much at night
The wife snores too loudly
The wife has body odour
The wife/the man dey play karate when asleep
She demands for love making everyday and the young man wants to live till 45 years at least.

You for trap the guy there, pin the door shut and demand he hands over all the bribe money he collected or you will tell the dog to chew im ear comot

doofanc: ^Abuja is actually a small city, so it would be easy for to d club to have agents in major hotels, where the acts usually take place, to monitor their members since most cases of adultery rarely take place at home.

Those who refuse to pay will be asked to leave the club.

Abuja is a small city?

Where is our Oga at the top BB typhoid fever?

He must come back here, this comedy series must continue o, am already writing the 8th chapter of the block buster film scripts called, Wunmi and the Oga at the top.

Geeeeee!

Crime never pays, she bit more than she can chew and right now she is paying with interest on top. Sorry madam.

kulyie: to answer your question yes,couples too have their moments of disagreement,thats normal.even the tongue and teet clash however it becomes abnormal when the clash turns to an everyday affair.also i will like to have minue or no fight at all.it is possible with prayer,hardwork and respect for each other

I dont wish to have any fights at all, I want respect and am ready to give it to her in advance.

Summersland: We fans tired of torres,sale him out of stam4rd bridge

We fit contribute money dash the new owners sef!

Too expensive! He should be worth much less than Sunday Mba.

I can wake up late thinking and scheeming, planning and scheduling how to achieve in 2 hours what took you 2 days to do.

Are you sure?

I dont even care what you do to him, you are as guilty as he is. You will go to hell for your sins, first fornication, adultery and prolly murder. The fact still remains that you should have looked before you leap. The man puss,yduped you but you are guilty of falling too cheap without a wedding, hope to read the headlines on nairaland crime section tomorrow morning.

BluIvy: She will do all of that just after this serving. You can hold your breath it will be quick and swift.

Sounds like murder is on the menu, poison? Am outta here!

seyibrown: He hasn't got a heart! He betrayed his own wife, how much more her! All she can do is humiliate him. She has been 'pus*s-yduped' and cannot undo that! She needs to forgive him, forgive herself, ask God to forgive and heal her, and move on.

Thank you o jare, I thought all girls reasons like the OP.

jidegirl12: 40? and still fooling around? shior !!.... A fool at 40 they say.... Deal with him wella and please don't leave out the juicy details

Don't listen to those perambulating guys , everybody shall be served his cheating sentence on earth. shine the wrong Congo and you're in for it.

They say life starts at 40, the guy can still shine congo for like 4 hours non stop, this guy will be so experienced after all the years of shinning different congos, am sure the girl stayed up to 10 days just to enjoy the exhiliriating thrills and pleasures of an experienced lover wey sabi press the right buttons

jidegirl12: Take him to a shooting range and shoot between his legs to vibrate his balls.... MoFo!!

Will not change anything, have you ever heard the saying that "what has entered has entered"

The guy has shot the girl between her legs already, the score board is currently reading 1-0 in favour of the congo shinner

BluIvy: Soooo agree girl. His retirement is near and he is about to go to it with nothing. Oo

Let the sinless christians go on with their hollier than thou attitude. One thing I know if God knew that we were not a bunch of weak, sinful creatures He would not have sent Christ to die for us But would have trusted us to be strong against all temptations. Mmmmhh ironic.

Does not matter if he goes with nothing, for some people the good thoughts of a well shined congo can keep them smiling in their sleep for years, even if they did not save a penny.

A funny story happened about 2 years ago, a guy who was transfered to our company quickly spotted a girl and wanted to befriend her, the girl refused till the guy popped the big question, will you marry me? The girl quickly agreed, the girl claimed to be a virgin and refused the would be husband s$x till the wedding and the wedding happened in less than three months.

After like two weeks after the wedding the newly married guy started boasting that he married the girl a virgin! Huh! I nearly fainted, me and the former boyfriend of this married girl were there and we felt very embarrassed. I tried to warn the guy not to trust girls but he was getting angry, swearing he was the first to lay this girl. This same "virgin" girl wey don befriend my guy for like 3 years and they always spend days together, sometimes they sleep in my flat, consuming my condoms and tissue papers anyhow! I sabi my friend and have seen him working overtime on top of this girl.

We excused ourselves and went out to laugh for like 30 minutes, girls can really make a man look really stuupid.