lemme abeg. It's annoying that people either choose to be ignorant or take stuffs like this for granted. That's why a child after being flogged, will be asking his or her parents if they are truly the ones that have birth to him or her. . But on a serious note, let's be guided.
And if her picture had been brought to nairaland as a missing person, most people would have automatically assumed she was in a guy's house. RIP to the dead.
Trupz: If a child is failing as a child, 100% blame goes to the parents. I believe parents aggregately and not as separate entities are responsible for the wellbeing and proper development of their child.
No blame game, no shifting of blames or responsibility.
Everyone makes their own decision. A child of 11yrs upwards have the mental capacity to make decision for themselves. The best thing is having a close relationship with your child and making sure your home is a safe haven because a child that goes outside and thinks a place, ideology or friend is better off than that he or she has been brought up with automatically picks up the habit or buys into the ideas of that particular environment.
you did a very good job by breaking up with that stupid bitch of a Nigeria lady!
you see! I will advise you as my son to look for foreign woman. forgetting Nigeria ladies is a good headstart for you with lots of added benefits and bonuses for you if you stop dating those stupid black bitches.
you see! Nigeria women are all mentally retarde.d with entitlement MENTALITY syndrome. all they ever do is to wake-up, shiit, mess, do there stupid makeup on there ugly looking faces, wear there second hand clothes and walks outside looking for who to dump there poverty on.
Nigeria women are not productive, they only make a living by sucking diiiick. that's why our Yahoo boys keep using them for money ritual.
you can see many of them here on this platform begging for 1k naira. there Monika usually start with I, X, C, M, D. these are the top useless women in nairaland.
hypothetically speaking, ants are more or highly intelligent and intellectual than Nigeria women
my son! pls date a foreign woman next and I bet you won't regret it.
All of you hyping, dreaming, wishing, and so into foreign women thinking they're better off, I laugh in Spanish. The best thing is finding someone good irrespective of nationality.
Edit: Sorry I didn't see your moniker before quoting you.
Your plan is also a great one, I guess because I make significantly more than my wife, I'm content with her having access to some accounts, I also have access to hers. Remember the key is to let her feel as if she's in charge, we never argue about food, money or other petty stuffs because anytime an argument comes up, I'll remind her that she's in charge and automatically I win the argument
josh2297: These talks here in mine opinion does not have a solid legal standing...firat and foremost There are no laws in the USA or in africa(Nigeria) dat sets different standard for men and women anybody can b a victim of any law whether man or woman anywhere let me highlight these few points 1. In d event of a divorce in d USA d spouse who recieves d highest income gets to pay alimony...things tend to get complicated wen children(if still very tender) gets involved then the partner who gets d custody of d children is entitled to a child support which is very fair considering d fact dat a single parent will definitely have to work less hours 2.. Any laws dat are seen to b tilted towards in d USA are in marriage amd unmarried man is free to live his life anyhow he wants and treat women anyhow he wants...u are not being forced to get married to any woman overhere so u can as well get a babymama from diffrent women(dere are free and plenty of sweet punanis here) 3... If u as a man must get married then insist on protecting ur livelihood savings and investment by insisting on aigning a pre-nuptial agreement 4...most of these liberal laws in d states and some other places are just to target the institutuion of marriage and create societal problems...they encourage children to b very stubborn...they tell u dat u dont have to condone anyrin even an agrument in marriage they offer u divorce at ur fingertips and d gullible ones fall into...why not ask y d top people in hierachy most times are always married while those at d lowest cadre of d society are busy divorcing demselves at slight provocation 5....Lastly these shld not b seen as a gender tin...this is clearly agendas...take 4 instance...if u want to b crucified villified and ridiculed as an american(whether man or woman)...then try having a serious legal issue qith a homosexual by dat time u will seriously feel dat u are really a second class citizen.... Real Women in sports today are complaining dat transgender females are beating dem to their games which is unfair they are been told by this same law to go to hell....or d issue of Joe biden which is still an ongoing one....d law, liberals,even so called rights group will work very hard to silence dat lady...so d liberals laws here a actually pointing to sometin that is not very clear yet...but d fact is very soon hetrosexual male and female will b victims of their own circumstance.....I dont blive people change,i blive they get to show their real charcacters wen they get d opportunity
With all your write up, I didn't see any mention of child support. By the time you pay through your nose, you'll bottle your willy.
One4me: Everyone should be happy with the way Technology is helping shape human relations. Women like you want to "subdue" men by all means necessary, hiding under the pretext of "equality and protection", when in actaul fact, what you are aspiring for is "subjugation and oppression" of the men folk!
The trend has been on the rise for sometime now, especially in the West. And a lot of people wonder: Why do men go into this arrangement called MARRIAGE, that seeks to emasculate, subjugate and oppress them? The answer is that most Men are created to want "Love/Sex and Children. Most men see Women as THE ONLY MEANS fo realising those two things.
What else does a man want froma woman, apart from those two, think about it for a minute? Your wife will give you regular sexual satisfaction (as much as you would give her too though they like to pretend that it is just for your own benefit!) and then she will be pregnant with your child and bear children for you, to continue your lineage. That is what majority of Men cheirsh in marriage that keeps them falling into the same trap of marriage, despite the very visible dangers it poses to their health and life. But that is changing radically now and l am loving it McDonalds Men is very desperate situation who lose their mind when they cannot take the female oppression of their wife anymore, resort to violence as a counter-measure but l think and see it as an act of weakness in that losing control of yourself will always be a negative, an act weakness over "self".
Now, l am certain that in about five years or ten at the most from today, a man will no longer go into marriage solely because he thinks he cant have SEX or CHILDREN, unless he marries or engages a woman in any manner that requires responsiblity ot a woman. This is the best thing that can happen to women, since the invention of The Pill.
A man can have unlimited Sex and have his own Children, .....yes, his own children, without the need for the drama and dangers of women! You dont need a WIFE to have sex children and ensure your family name is carried to the next generation. From surrogate Mothers, to outright in-vitro ferterlisation of a donor egg (which we can soon be buying off Amazon or Ebay, in afew years time ) with your own sperm! Who needs to bother his head with laws that seek to cage men or give his sweat to an ex-wife or make him pay Child support to fund the wayward lifestyle of a bitch? I watched Andersen Cooper on CNN the way he held his baby and there was not single mention of "his Mother"....... and that blew my mind! Women will just have to live in their own lane (Yes, have their own Children and sex, without Men) and Men to will live in their own lane. No more taking advanatge of any law to "protect women" or give them a leg-up.
And l also forsee one thing: Very soon, just like the clash of the planet of Apes, we are going to have an open, physical, bloody war between men and Women, and at the end of that war, one gender will be conquered and out in their place. It could be the male or it could be the female gender!
That's why there is a sperm bank also. Most people marry for companionship with the aim of wanting to grow old with their spouse. Now if a man thinks marriage is all about sex which can be gotten from anybody else then he is doomed to fail from the onset because that's a stupid reason. What makes a marriage work is compromise, understanding, mutual respect, but if one marries and think life will still go on as it was then he or she is a joker. The children you're just talking about you think it's easy taking care of them? Ask the single mothers and fathers out there let them inform you especially if you don't have someone you trust helping out from time to time.
Kingarthur21: aside the court of law(due to divorce or child support) they can't treat you wrongly. You don't have to spend a kobo on them,enjoy free sex because they are liberal (you can go a whole year without paying ashawo).
Just don't get them pregnant,or marry them, you are safe
I laugh in Spanish. You think so? Please do well to tell us the outcome later.
Kingarthur21: Why should a sane guy given the golden opportunity to travel to the states and meet dope babes over there still date this tasteless dimers?
Until those "dope" babes frustrate you especially if they are citizens. The best thing is finding someone good.
Tintinnoty: THE Zambia Police Service has summoned George Bester, a man seen in a video making rounds on social media slapping his son, for allegedly producing poor school results.
In the said video, Bester is seen slapping the boy, while complaining about the money he has spent on the boy for school books and tuition fees.
A voice of a woman, believed to be his wife, is heard pleading with Bester to stop beating the boy.
According to a call-out dated April 10, 2020, Bester was required to report to the Child Protection Unit offices at the Ministry of Community Development near Levy Junction yesterday, April 21, for purposes of inquiries.
Police, however, assured him that he would not be detained more than was necessary.
Tankunland: When Shola's mom called me her first question was do i know who the father of Samuel is and I replied and said yes of course it's her grand daughters dad and she said to me I'm the real father of Samuel and that her late daughter reiterated it 2 days before she died guys I went crazy again.
Why me, why me, why me was the question I was asking my self. Why is all this thing's happening to me was the question that just kept repeating itself in my head.
I went to see my boy and the connection was instant ooo just carrying him again after 6 months send shivers down my spine and now I'm just waiting for his Grandma to tell the other guy that Samuel is mine.
I have already started sending my kid small small money again for his up keep Lol even tho not much because I don't even have much now but i would do everything within my power to give this Young kid the best of life that me and his late mother my queen his mother planned for him even when I never knew he was mine.
Wow I'm done. My hands ache. Just wanna say thank you to Seun Osewa for this beautiful forum, thank you to Joe Abah for retweeting that tweet even tho it hasn't yield devident yet but thanks and thank you to those beautiful souls that saved my life with that 9k I know you remember me and I say God bless you.
and to those on the verge of suicide I tell you that you can overcome and it's not the end of the world for you and Whatever you are passing through has an end ok and I need you to realize people somewhere is passing through the same or even harder situation than you. Don't give up, don't stop praying even tho I lost my faith a lil but don't lose yours because only the almighty can do all things.
To my young sister's reading this please be contented with what your man gives to you. The course of sholas death was so painful when I heard but please my dear sister dont date a Yahoo boy for any reason or even go out with one.
I tell you Yahoo doesn't work again and what they do now is Yahoo plus and some of this guy's are heartless and don't care about anyone than just to make that fetish money amd they would use you and any other girl they find to keep that money coming.
To my Young King's reading this don't have a girlfriend in your 20s please. Use that time to develop your self. Work hard to make yourself better as getting a girlfriend would really slow you dowm from attaining that top you want to go.
And last Please if you are too weak to move on or too tired to live again and you think suicide is your escape please speak out, yes some would laugh at you and call you names but speak out as there is that one person that would listen to you.
I LOVE YOU SHOLA AND REST IN PEACE
Your epistle got me crying. God bless you real good especially for not giving into those temptations. I pray you make it real big and be a blessing to your kids.
Not like that vicky. She had all the opportunity to make this work,now bruised ego is at work. She came online and told the world she foots the bills and he will prove her wrong by going all out to hurt her
The truth is that they don't care about the well-being of the children. Their children are just pawns used to hurt one another.
From a mans point of view he won't. Even if he means him killing for his little girl he will. She showed her husband how she will go to the world and beyond to save her son even risk her marriage. The husband will prove same here to protect his daughter and she admitted it here that her son steals he will also come for the unborn child later too
As per she's a baby carrying machine that after nine months and going through the pains of giving birth, he'll then come and carry the child. Kai!!! It's better for a woman to have a miscarriage than that happening. Do you know the agony? No you don't because you're a man and you think everything is by muscle and force.
your mistake on this issue is to dismiss what this man has already done (aka take care of ONE child that aint his) just because he is not willing any longer to take care of other people's kid. i can fully understand him, especially if after a few years he realized that he should only focus on HIS biological child and no more spending his hard earn money on the children of some "possibly ungrateful self centered" woman. its obvious this man had enough of this woman's nonsense, and was NOT willing to have that problem child in his home, to the point where he decided that it was better/wiser to leave this woman and her drama instead of having that problem child around his family.
what a man says to a single mother before marriage, will ALWAYS change the minute he has children of his own with that woman...his biological children's wellbeing will OFTEN be above that of other people's kids. we are ALL selfish when it comes to the wellbeing of our own biological children. who are we kidding?!
It's a pity then. My prayer is for the boy to succeed despite all odds.
the fact that this man doesnt want this child in his home is the only thing that we are certain of....all the rest is just speculation. didnt the man left this woman and took his daughter away? that should be a confirmation that this man DOES NOT WANT THAT CHILD NEAR HIS OWN DAUGHTER
he could simply say: -because i dont want to take care of any other children (that aint mine) - because i dont want a thieving child to join my household ... and that would be enough a reason.
again, the fact that this man doesnt want this child in his household is the only thing that we are certain of.... trying to force this child upon him is NOT a solution. far from it. you are not focusing on the right issue here (aka finding another solution) you are just hellbent on having this unwanted child over... and thats why this man took his biological child and left that woman!
if that was the case then she wouldnt need this man's approval before bringing her child over, would she?. the man doesnt need to find an alternative, the baby mama does. these kids are not his responsibility, they are hers. he is already taking care of one of her kids, if she thinks that is an easy thing to do then let her divorce that man and take care of her kids BY HER DAMN SELF
then find someone who is willing to keep the child until then... for the right price (that you would have paid in school fees anyway), many family members would. but since she didnt want to, let see how long she can left on her own, now that this man left her.
tell that to the deluded woman who abandoned her child to marry such man... and now is crying naked at midnight,
yes i would never do that while this woman already did for countless years, a few more months (until next school year starts) wont hurt.
i guess he changed his mind after learning about that thieving/problem child... who wouldnt?
if after 3 years she doesnt understand that this man does NOT want that child in his house, then she needs a new brain... isnt it obvious by now that this child is UNWANTED by this man?
bringing a child where he is unwanted is a quick way to have this child get hurt... many die at the hands of step parents who abuse, mistreat and/or do worse to these unwanted kids. better she divorce that man and be happy single but with her child. there is NO OTHER WAY.
Your talk is just annoying me. Are you sure you're not the husband? The kid he took is theirs. The woman surely made mistakes on her part especially by believing the words of a man but that boy so far as I'm concerned shouldn't be the cause of the issue at hand. The husband is just a selfish and myopic somebody. He hasn't realized that most of the time people who you help are those that take care of you in future. He should take care of that child as if he is the father as he promised and correct the child with love. You're talking about someone changing his or her mind and that is acceptable but not at the expense of a child. The man is actually behaving like a big baby at this point.
I never said the guy is right not to accept the boy. It is her behavior and character that is highly questionable here. The idea that because she paid the rent of january, the husband has no say in the house. If she applies that logic in bringing the boy succesfully, she will apply it in other things.
I agree with you, as a man I would not have married in the first place. but if by some mistake of life I happen to marry her, I would allow the boy to come.
Thanks for being matured about it. Wedding is for a day, marriage is forever.
if you read me, know that you did a very wise thing. In fact you were a mugu for too long sef.
Don't allow a woman to disrespect you and belittle you because she has small change. You took her daughter, so nobody can say you did not want her children.
If she can bring the boy without your consent, just in the name of paying the rent, tommorow she will bring her lover, because she pays that same rent.
Dey your lane and hustle on your own, to make it financially. Until your wife learns to submit and respect her husband, it is a waste of time. No be for no reason her first husband ran for his life.
You're comparing a 12 year old boy to a lover. How do you process things? Just thank God you were never deprived of a mother's love. No matter how bad things are, as long as you're with your parents there's hope than staying with outsiders. Her fault may have been the way she handled the matter after the boy was brought home.
Vyvyanvyvy: A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words
I just read someone's post now on Nairaland and the person ended with not all women are mothers. I'm dumbfounded by the man's action and I know most guys here will support him but it isn't fair. Probably, his friends or comments that were written, made him decide to "man up" to the detriment of his family. I don't see why a 12-year old boy whose only fault is being borne out of wedlock should cause a man to harden his heart. There's always two sides to every story but he's going too far. Nothing beats a mother's love. My advice is just take it easy, look after the kids you're with, let go of your anger and pray. At least you're sure he's taking good care of his daughter and the other kids are being looked after by you. Don't make the kids think they're the reason for the ongoing predicament and once again pray. It's well with you.
Thats what u want to hear? Sharpely u shout thank u. Divorce and turn to a baby factory. Beg your husband and let him assist
Divorce isn't the best option but put your self in the child's shoes. A child needs a mother and at this point, I'm not thinking about the welfare of any other person but that of the children.
The issue is that the woman is placing emotion over rationality. She should know that the man was not involved in that child's bearing. So she should apply rational words to convince the man. She can only apply emotion if the man was the boy's biological father.
The boy needs love, but the mother needs to work harder to make the man see why they need that boy around them. Women are given the powers to make men do what they wouldn't ordinarily do. She should do dat, unless if she lacks that potential.
Yes she told him and he accepted. That was when he had not heard about the negative thing about the boy. Stop making it seem as if the man is just heartless. You will still do the same if u are in the man's shoes.
If u used to have a very close friend that was very nice to u when u were in school, let's say a roommate. Then you guys left school and u have moved to another city. You start to hear that your former roommate has joined bad gang and she was even arrested and beaten publicly. If she calls you one day that she is within the same town you are and wants to squat with you for few weeks. Onyindidi, what will be ur reaction?
But the boy is just 12. He can be reformed at this age and what he needs now is love and guidance because if he grows older than this with the habit, he'll become hardened. The funny thing is that the woman is the person that will be blamed for his habit and her children will grow up resenting her. Inasmuch as I am against divorce, I'll put my child over any marriage.
Vyvyanvyvy: I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.
Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.
Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.
I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him.
I'll advise you to leave the man if he doesn't change his mind. Those are your kids and they need your love. Provided you're financially stable to take care of them, please do so they don't grow up hating you.
JoannaSedley: It is not a crime to have a child at tender age, but it is a crime to allow a 15 year old baby to be saddled to a SUPER-SPECIAL NEED man who is old enough to be her grandfather. It is outrightly wicked, child abuse and child labour.
Celebrities / Re: Jumoke Samuel Becomes SHOE CULTURE HOUSE OF FASHION Ambassador (Photos) by veykey: 12:55pm On Jun 29, 2020 
. But on a serious note, let's be guided.
tell me more.
. Why are you pained?
