₦airaland Forum

H2,

Your friend is a cheater in the making,

Mezdim,

If you want him back, then keep doing what you are doing, don't beg him for his love. That's why he's still so jealous, he's wondering why you aren't upset about the decision to break up and that intrigues him, so keep at it. However, he doesn't have a mind of his own. He would rather marriage a village girl that he doesn't love, so if I were you I would continue keeping him intrigued by not begging, and also continue dating other men. Good luck.

Moonstone,

Clearly all the girls he's been into haven't been into him for the past 34YEARS, so how is that going to work now?

Nalijah,

No dinners yet, make it as informal as can be. Take them to a park and plan fun activities, and then a picnic there after. It's bound to be fun, and when the children return home their thoughts of the new guy/girl will be filled with the reminder of how much fun they had at the park, which will make them more susceptible to accepting the new partner.

Aqva

Let me tell you the statement that encompasses every aspect of your dating life, and I quote "i just couldn't cope with the too much attention she was giving me", Hmmm, Clearly you have made a choice of what your dating life has been and will continue to be if you don't CHANGE. Relationships are a give and take effect and finding the balance in between. Nonetheless, you've been giving all your life, and not allowing yourself to take and find a balance in between. So you say you didn't like all the attention the girl was giving you, she was clearly 'GIVING', but you're not ready for that because your brain has been programmed to play that role very well. I suggest you call that woman back, and slowly allow yourself to receive all the love and attention she's giving; thus, take a little, and give a little. It's going to take some time, but if you want to exit from eternal single dome, you need to put in the work, which is exactly what relationships are, first comes attraction, then trust, then respect, then work on keeping those qualities intact.

Nalijah

The right time is when you are absolutely, positively sure that you are going to marry your partner. Otherwise you will confuse your children if have boyfriends/ girlfriends are in and out of their lives like revolving doors. Moreover, they will have a baffled understanding of the meaning of courtship. It is clear that something between their parents didn't work out; therefore, continuing this pattern will be detrimental to their future relationships.

Konko,

I'd be careful about supporting your husband to be. There's something about politics that make a man feel like he shouldn't abide to any rules including your vows to each other. You are 3 weeks away from your wedding, so it's too late, but be careful with men who venture into politics, you are bound to be cheated on/left for another eventually. Good luck.

Support what you can't replace, YOUR FATHER, Easy decision. God forbid, but if things don't work out between you and your husband then what title would you have? Exactly,

Mezdim,

Do you want this man back?

Klassyguy,

Don't stoop to this girl's desperate level. Having your new woman answer your phone gives the perception that you can't handle your own, and will only drive your ex more nuts than she already is (no pun intended, but she did threaten you). Why add fuel to a blazing fire? No need, just walk away she'll eventually get the hint, but I strongly recommended changing your number.

Klassyguy

After years of pretending, you've finally found love. Your family adores her and vice versa (which is very crucial for any relationship to last and work). You don't love your ex, you never have. Telling her you'll think about her pleas for your love is like breaking her heart, and using it to play bball with your boys. After you've broken up with a girl, never ever tell her 'you'll think about it', this is nothing but false hope and it will drag the process of moving on (on her part). My suggestion to you, is to cut all forms of communication with this girl. It's been 3YEARS since you guys broke up and she still hasn't healed. Moreover, she's THREATENING YOU and I quote "She then started threatening that whether i liked it or not, i was hers, and it’s either i marry her or no one else," WTF? Why are you still talking to this girl? Why does she have your number? I hope to goodness she doesn't know your address, because If she's threatening you, you can only imagine what she'll do to your baby (the woman who has taken her place). I strongly believe, that for your own safety and sanity (and your baby's too) you should cut off all communication with this girl. She's a hazard to herself, and your relationship.

Goldstar

Tade should be the last person talking about deception. Deception is lying about being engaged and using it as an excuse to study someone. Studying someone is telling them you're not ready for a relationship, so let's take things slow. Please don't rationalize her actions. She's already becoming a headache.

Goldstar

Better looking doesn't make her a better girlfriend. Tade's interest is present because,

1. She just broke up her supposed engagement
2. You're now a challenge because you've driven the attention from her to Glory
3. She's on the rebound, we all know rebound relationships never seem to work, and she'll leave you at the drop of a dime once her ex comes running back to her, if he exists
4. If he doesn't exist which seems to be what you are insinuating, Tade is still immature and playing silly games and therefore not a serious person for a relationship

Stick with the ones that love you, the ones that don't will give you nothing but headache after headache. Your choice.

Dbisi,

Confront your husband about that voice mail. You know him best, and you should be able to tell if he is lying. Regardless of whether or not he's lying, tell him that you cheated on him. The both of you need space to truly heal from this, now, during this time I would suggest calling up the ex and enjoying great sex , just in case you don't get back together with your husband,

Neyo,

Don't walk away yet. Talk to her about it. Tell her you can't stand the fact that she's possessive and nags, and as a result her behavior is pushing you away. She'll listen.

Just move on, if he wanted to contact you he could have done so

It's very different, but not in a good way,

Adam,

You are not as powerful as you think. Your ex still has control over you, so in all honestly you are just as powerless as you were when she left you. 4 girls, 5months each? 20 months of wasting these girls time, as well as yours only to find that you are still powerless as long as your ex still has a hold of your actions. That's a lot of time wasted. So you want to replay the exact scenario of your ex dumping you with these girls? Boy you must have a lot of time on your hands, but clearly you are obsessed with your past because you haven't moved on from it. I think you should take some time to yourself, so you can truly heal, but if you choose not to and continue to breed on innocent souls. You will find yourself alone, so at the end of the day your ex is the only winner in this callous game you choose to play.

The N,

You're going to hurt her regardless of what you say or do, that's a given. If you tell her you need space, she's going to be hurt, If you tell her you need to break up, she's going to be hurt, If you stay with her, you're not going to give it your all, so she's still going to be hurt. The only thing that will set you free is the truth. You need to be completely honest with her, tell her you love her but you just need some space. If she loves you, it'll still hurt her but she'll respect your decision. And trust and believe you are going to miss the hell out of her during your break, but if you wanna have her back in your arms, don't let the break go on for too long. Good luck.

Put yourself in his position. You are in love with a woman you are about to marry, and you find out he slept with her. How would you feel? Come on now!!!

Ann,

You asked, "what it means when someone says he/she has "feelings" for another person", I have to wonder if you are asking this question because someone told you they have feelings for someone else, because you are human, so you do know what it means to feel something, right? IF that is the case, when someone tells you they have feelings for someone else, they mean they have feelings for someone OTHER THAN YOU,

Mixy,

As far as I'm concerned, moving in together is one of the biggest tests of all when it comes to a relationship. Notice you said you don't want her to live with you again, you also said you don't want to break up with her. Clearly you are confused. What do you want out of this relationship if anything? It's clearly not marriage, because you cannot live in separate addresses with your wife now can you?

You lost your erection, that's the only reason she wants you. She's good at her career, so once she has you, you'll find yourself posting 'I'M IN LOVE WITH A LovePeddler', Is that something you really want?

One word, DESPERATE, and guyz feed off of that, so if he's single he should ask for her pic, then carry on conversation. She's desperate, and we all know what desperate people can do, ANYTHING, so wink wink,

Funmifash,

You may not realize this but you are enabling his mistreatment, and by doing this you are also enabling your lack of self-love. This combination is lethal to the heart, and you need to be rid of it in time. Their is love out there for you, but before you go searching for it, you have to feel it from within. You need to leave this man, and DON'T, I repeat DON'T go for another relationship, until you have created the best relationship with yourself. Otherwise, you will find yourself with another man who sees no value in you, because you see no value in yourself. Trust me Fumni, self-love will attract the best love.

Foxrun,

How often do you talk? If the answer is TOO OFTEN, well I suggest cutting down talk time. Try talking to your woman 2-3 times a week if possible. If you want to talk to her everyday, Zzzzz, that's how you're gonna get bored and you're conversations will remain lackluster. Nonetheless, if you do want to talk to her everyday, keep the conversations short but sweet on some days. Don't give up on her yet, but if you cut down talk time, and you two are still struggling, then think of the type of activities she likes, and partake in them together. That should give her more than enough reason to open her mouth for some fresh air and great conversation. Good luck.

I don't think their babes are clueless or don't care. He can't spend what he doesn't have, so how can you be clueless?

There is no right age to get married. I believe the later the better; thus, the more dating and life experiences the better. I don't think there is a right age, instead, I believe their is a right time. That right time being once you've found yourself, and have full understanding of who you are and what you expect out of your life and your life with your partner.

It's not what it's cracked up to be. Going back home has it's benefits from a man's stand point as far as attaining a submissive wife. Nonetheless, once they bring them to the UK or the States, they either leave them in the house to keep them submissive or they show them the ropes of the country. Either way, exposure or lack there of it is detrimental to the marriage.

Scenario 1- Exposure - A feeling of being able to do better; therefore, they look for something better, and move on to greener pastures.

Scenario 2- Lack of Exposure - A feeling of resentment. No human likes to feel caged.

I've seen these scenarios play out a time too often, but good luck to all that may choose to follow this path.

Kanz,

I'm afraid you brought this on to yourself. It's called bad dating karma. You left your man to be with another, bad move. Unfortunately for you, you're current boyfriend wanted to be with you only because he couldn't have you. And once he had you in his arms, you dropped in appeal. Here is what to do if you want it to work, don't make yourself available to him at all times. You were appealing to him because you were UNAVAILABLE, so keep it at that.