₦airaland Forum

Ade's Chronicle 3.
We stepped out of the house into the street and walked to short distance between our house and the Jibowu bus stop where we would get a bus to Mushin. We had waited barely five minutes watching the men of the Nigerian Police doing their thing when the Danfo we had been waiting for came along.
''Oloosha! Mushin!! Oshodi!!! Mushin!'' Shouted the bus conductor at the top of his voice. His appearance amused me. He was clad in a white vest that had become brown on a tattered jeans which was formerly long but had been cut short by a carpenter. His feet was housed in two pairs of dunlop slippers, each pair having lost its partner took solace in accompanying the other. His bloodshot eyes was an evidence that he had been drinking despite the hot weather. He sang his route again as he neared where we stood.

We signalled for him to stop and he did. Rotimi looked at me womdering what was making me smile. It was obvious that he had not seen the conductor when I saw him. I pointed to the conductor and Rotimi's face eased into a smile. We both had a similar sense of humour which made me think that the people who called us twins might be roght afterall! One day I will ask my mum and I will tell him to do same.

We entered the bus which was having only two spaces left. I sat in the back seat while Rotimi was seated in the middle seat. The bus had three rows of seat which was typical of the Danfo buses. This particular bus made my day. Apart from its amusing conductor, the passengers it carried made me reel in laughter. I sat between two ladies. One a Nigerian, the other something between a Chinese and an
Indian. She reeked of garlic and everybody had to cover their noses. She then opened her mouth that she had been chewing as a goat does chew cud and spat a blackish sputum out of the window. I was covered in saliva as the breeze scattered the mess she spat out.

Every other passengers burst into laughter as I gave her a murderous look. The other woman beside me was no better. As she was laughing, she shifted her buttocks a little and let flying the worst of gases I had ever heard. She then pretended as if nothing happened. The thing's smell was first percieved from the front seat.
''Hmmm! Hmmm!! Hmmmm!!!'' Everybody offered as the smell of something worse than the smell of rotten eggs invaded the privacy of their noses. I was not left out.

Again, I did not talk, I just turned my head and looked at her with the same severity of eyeing that I gave the other woman who bathed me in spit. She should have kept quiet. She wanted to prove her innocence. She opened her mouth and said, ''What I do you? Why look you me like that? I mess the mess? Don't look me again o.'' She was shouting at the top of her voice.

All heads turned to look at the bomb thrower before bursting into another session of rib cracking laughter. Not too long after, the bombs were re echoed all around the bus making us all to forget the earlier putrid smell we had been enduring. The woman never knew she was the object of laughter as she also joined in the laugh galore to provoke further laughter which rang through the bus.

Another man with tea coloured teeth and enough holes to bury a three month old baby in his mouth opened it up beside Rotimi and poked his cigarette into it. This infuriated Rotimi who hates anything lighted on the head passionately. Rotimi excused the man and told hom that he should please put it out till we alight at the next bus stop. The man did not answer which made Rotimi to pluck the stick out of his mouth and throw it out of the window.
''Dan buro ba!!!'' Cursed the man who was viciously angered by Rotimi's action. He made to hit him with his blackened hands but Rotimi held it and threw him back in the seat at the other two that were beside him. Everybody went into another round of hysteria as they both battled themselves.

''Moshalashi!'' shouted the conductor and Rotimi who was still scuffling with the Hausa man shouted ''Owa!''.
''Oga mi Moshalashi wa o. Ikan ninu awon were to n ja yen lo fe boole ni Moshalashi.'' The rough looking conductor told his driver.
''Baba ati awon iyalaya e ni were. Iwo oloshi yii. Ori e ti yi abi? Je ki n gba e mu. Wa gba pe were ni baba nla e. Duro fun mi jo! Oloriburuku eeyan.'' Rotimi had said back at the conductor.

He left the Hausa man who still continued with his cursing in Hausa and we got down from the bus. When the bus had gone, I looked at my friend of many years from head to toe and saw that he was not rough at all despite the scuffle he just had.

''Ol boy, you too tight o. I think say that Aboki don tear ya shirt o.'' I said in our usual pidgin. We loved speaking to each other in pidgin, no matter how serious the discussion was.

''No mind me jare. I just make sure say im hand na im I dey hold. Na sense jare.'' He replied smiling.

With that he brought out his phone to call Bunmi....

Ade's Chronicle is here o. Please go to and enjoy it. Thanks www.nairaland.com/1551761/ades-chronicle-tale

Ade's Chronicle 2.
(Dedicated to: JeffreyJamez)

I got up from the bed, though unwillingly but hopeful that I would get some cool air outside the house, and put on my clothes- a Tee Shirt and Jeans wear- and joined the already set Rotimi outside.

"Wetin we dey go do for Mushin?" I queried him.
"Na that girl wey dey S. S two wey I been dey tell you about, na in we dey go see." Rotimi replied.

It was true that he had told me about the girl. But what I find quite funny was that it wasn't Rotimi that was running after the girl rather it was a case of bushmeat running after the hunter.

The girl, Bunmi by name, had threatened to tell the school Principal that she was being molested by Rotimi. Though we initially called her bluffs. But when she won't relent, Rotimi gave in.

What they all saw in us, I never
knew, even till now. The world is indeed a spoilt place!

Sorry, let me describe us. I am Ade by name and Rotimi is my friend, as you might have known. We are graduates. Both of us are six feet two inches tall, we are of the slender build but we are a little bit on the muscular side. While Rotimi is fair, I am dark in complexion. We have the six packs abs, a result of months of weight lifting. We both have a round face with dark eyeballs.

But the main difference between us is that he is quite hairy while I am hair starved. As people will say, I did not wait to collect hair
from Baba God. He has the beards so much that he shaves twice a day, while i have three or four strands of hair under my chin.
Rotimi does different styles of haircut, just think of it and my friend is at the salon the next minute waiting to have it on his hairy head.
Me? I am a little bald and my best
haircut style is the 'skin' style. reason? Don't ask me.

We both hate keeping moustaches, so, he cuts his daily, while mine is done weekly, or
when necessary. People do take us for twins, the reason for which I can't also figure out. But they insist that we look quite alike.

Bunmi was not the first female to run after Rotimi. There had been many before her and many came after her. I should also let you know that I too did not escape from the claws of these females o. Infact we were both in it together because as Bunmi was running after him, another girl in S. S. S three wanted me. What do we do? Maybe we were the most eligible bachelors in town afterall!

Bunmi was a girl who lived with her parents. She said she was their last child but they had no time for her. Her father leaves the house
at four in the morning while her mother leaves home by five. They both never returned until eleven at night. So, the girl has all the room she neeeded to carry out
whatever seem to catch her fancy. Plus she lacks not the cash needed for the rendezvouz. She was a girl of around five feet two inches. She was fair in complexion. She said she was fifteen years old. She was
quite endowed in the two aspects.

She confessed that she just needed to have a taste of my friend for sometime, she doesn't
need anything else. What a girl!

Can you beat that?...

JeffreyJamez: lmao

first of all....i have not abandoned my thread.....i will surely finish it...just a lil unfortnate incident is hindering the progress of that thread.

secondly...START THIS STORY NOW O!!!

Thirdly... *sits on very comfortable chair in front row with bowl of KFC chicken and 2 6-pack beers*

Sorry bro, hope you have recovered. For being the first...
Three gbosa for you.
The next update is dedicated to u bro....

Ade's Chronicle.

It was a sunny saturday afternoon. The sun was threatening to cook all that was under it. It was one of those days when everybody wished they had put on their birthday suits but the society would have thought something else was wrong.

I was sitting in my room in my boxer shorts with a hand fan in my hand blowing me a portion of the hot air when Rotimi walked in.
''Ade, make we run go Mushin now,'' he said.

Rotimi was my friend of twenty five years. Our friendship had started from our primary school days. We had been inseparable since then. Our families had through us become one.

We both came to Lagos after our university education in the north. We had left Ibadan telling our parents that we won't return
home until we made it. How do we make it except we first get a job?

Our parents still paid for the one room self contain we are living in. The house is situated on a popular street in Yaba. It is not too far from the popular Yaba market; hence, we strolled to the market frequently to pick up clothes and stuffs.

Rotimi was a graduate of Accounting and I had read Economics. We both graduated
with second class upper division and we had both dreamt of working together in the same establishment.

Presently, we had dropped our C. Vs in all places droppable and the news of tests and interviews had began to trickle in. But to keep body and soul together- since our
parents' ten thousand naira a month allowance won't keep us for more than two weeks- we took up a teaching appointment
with a private secondary school not too far from our house.

The pay, you ask? Okay, thirty thousand naira a month each, for teaching Economics and Financial Accounting to the Senior classes
and Business Studies and Shorthand to the Junior classes forty times a week each, was the bargain. The lesson plan writing was what we hated most. But we had to write it.

The good thing about the school was that we could take up extra private classes, which we did, at our own personal rates with the
individual parents. We charged five thousand naira a month.

The Senior students were something else, they never allowed us breathing spaces. Spoilt children looking for who to spoil them the more. What a pity!

Rotimi did his part. I must confess I did mine too. But that is a tale for another day. We did things...

As usual, I will start this as the earlier one by saying thanks to almighty Allaah, God, Who made the pen. For if not for Him, writing would have been impossible.

To the senior writers on Nairaland whose work I have read, I say: una do ooo:
Sexitee03
The Rock555
Kayemjay
Frank3:16
Mynd44
Clemzy (who has two names)
Money Soldier
Philfearon
Jefreyjamez (who left his thread uncompleted)
Foxyflow (the baba of uncompleted tales)
Donigspain
Coolval
And many others who I can't remember here. You are all recognised. You have held hope that Nigeria has hreat minds and we shall make gains from our brains. God bless us all.

As I have said, efforts will be made, but all belongs to God. He shall see us through. I pray...

To my lovely readers and friends, patience is the key as I will try my best possible to flow with you.

All critics and critiques are welcome but let's be constructive.
Thanks as always...

Yettocome...'013.

No part of this work should be copied for any purpose without prior notification of the author. This work is protected by copyright laws and any tresspasser shall be prosecuted.

All names and events in this work are all fictitious. Any resemblance to real life people or events, either past or present, is only co incidental and is highly regretted. The author has no one in mind as he writes the work. Thank you.

You can contact the author on:
facebook: www.facebook.com/YetToCome
twitter: @sirdijos
Email: sirdijos.aids@gmail.com
Blog: www.yettocome02..com
Whatsapp: 07055676410.
Thanks.

Yettocome...'013.

The Rock, my Oga at the top well done. I peep in and see you. Well done again sir. But sha, I don come again o... www.nairaland.com/1551761/ades-chronicle-tale

Hello friends, it's been a long time. We have all missed one another. I just want to announce that I have been around but just lurking.

Coming soon as I said is a new work called ADE'S CHRONICLES. It is a tale as well. I wanted to finish it before coming here and wanted the episodes to be longer but can't just help it. System, out, still stuck with my five thousand characters Nokia phone. So if you will cope with me, I will start it today. Updates may not be as regular as you expect but we shall finish it. It's already on my blog and facebook but I just owe you too here to let you feel it.

So when should we start? And are we gonna be patient with me? Responses needed please.....


Still... I am..... Yettocome....

Hello friends, it's been a long time. We have all missed one another. I just want to announce that I have been around but just lurking.

Coming soon as I said is a new work called ADE'S CHRONICLES. It is a tale as well. I wanted to finish it before coming here and wanted the episodes to be longer but can't just help it. System, out, still stuck with my five thousand characters Nokia phone. So if you will cope with me, I will start it today. Updates may not be as regular as you expect but we shall finish it. It's already on my blog and facebook but I just owe you too here to let you feel it.

So when should we start? And are we gonna be patient with me? Responses needed please.....


Still... I am..... Yettocome....

KMJ, A masterpiece action thriller you just ended. Well done brother, I look forward to seeing this in hard copy.

Chistar, Oyu know as ur guy, I dont talk anyhow. Is ur name Steohen C Osaji? If no, then ur story has been copied again. Someone has stolen it and sent it to a facebook page.

Uduak, I don show... I no see your comment for there ooo. Any ways, keep rockkingggggg. I am still... Yettocome...

The rock5555: This ur blog confuse me oo, i no see any strory, na just poem

Wetin do u sef? U no fit click web version and see am. Or make u click d arrow wey dey down below. If I vex for u, u no go like am o.

Now u have made me speak pidgin. No qualms sha...

The rock5555: My oga at the top. This your big grammar dey sweet my belly ooo, dont forget we are still waiting, abeg post the link to ur blog abeg, i wan read first hand.

Brother I sight you. Its www.yettocome02..com you will find episode 1 to 16 there. Its not yet complete o. So just have that.

Open another thread fast and lemme know. Oya. Piss out...

The Rock.....
You want to force me out of my break, it won't work or so I thought....
Nice ending to a good story.

Thiss is what I call a situational autobiographical record of domiciliary and escapitudinal events of the highest order in the loci and crancum of the bermuda triangle.

Well done..
I am watching in 4D.

Lemme go and think for my next work.

Its already on my blog o. But sha, watch out for Ade's Chronicle.

Still I am Yettocome...

Uduak or make I call u Ooduah, be careful o. No go try shorten anything o. Will you stop being urself cos somebody wants you to change?

Be careful nake I no change am follow you o...

Uduak, because I don't comment does not mean I have died o....

Well done for forgetting me o...

Very soon I will come back to start my second story o...

But before then, keep up the good work...

Still you rock

and I am....

Yettocome.....


***Disappears***

Kay. I now know you are a matured guy. God bless you bro. I will start an action story soonest based on your inspiro. Badoo.... But I still maintain, you don't owe anybody any explanation. If dem dey vex, make dem go write dem own story.... Doff hats and short and carries all around.......

Bee, you and Kay owe nobody any apologies whatsoever. I am saying that because as a writer myself, I know what it takes to put a story together not to talk of an action movie.

You apologised yet some people I like to call fools can't see reason as if they send you money to write for them. See, lemme tell you, those who have read my first work can testify, I said that I aint writing on NL again if my work is not complete. It's because of thrash like that I made the decision. We all have a job we are doing, writing is just a passion.

My second story now I can't bring it here cos I will be crucified if I don't update daily which isn't possible cos of my work.

So, let them talk o. Just tell Kay for me that he should follow his mind. Then he should not make promises again. Anytime you promise people, something will arise to make sure it doesn't come to pass.

I rest my case.....

Lemme talk today. Frank, I need to say that you are a good writer, especially this genre you are into. Well done. I would love if I could work with you or KayEmJay sooner or later. CIAO!

sparkleboy: wow
am dumbfounded, am reallly impressed with your writing skills and talent. its a first class rated novel.
the only criticism is the 2015 west African war you used in the story. its not flowing well with the story line and plot .maybe u look into it. maybe something older would be more appropriate. but you are the best sha.

Sparkle, the story isnt set in the present day Nigeria. Its something futuristic. So in the story, 2015 had passed already dats why he used it. Good note bro, dat shws u read word for word.

This is gonna be a long comment. E don tey wey I talk last.

First Jeffreyjamez, u dey say make Kay no get block, your own thread nko? No be block u get so? Abegi free d guy... Na joke o

All along I had known that Bee is the woman behind Kay and not Sexitee. Bee will walk in and give highly classified info and starts begging and crying that the thread followers shld not vex. Then I knew there was more to it than meets the eye. Bee, take care of Kay for me o... But let him complete that diary or he shld take it down... It's bad to leave any work uncompleted. I can tell u dat as a writer....

Sexitee, I am waiting for what you talked about o... Thanks for the encouragements sha. Check my blog and tell me what you think of my new work, 'Ade's Chronicle'.

The Rock, blocks don't come in when you are writing reality tinged with little fiction and imagination. Brother, I tell you, you are good. But try fiction and see as you will be blocked when d thing gets high enough.
I am talking from experience o.

Kay. The big boss and don.... Take your time. You have gotten to the stage where you need all your ingenuity. Don't rush the work again as a shoddy climax wrecks all the works you had been doing. Think well and jot possible points. As a writer, I have seen at least six ways you can take the story to from your last update. Bet me, four of them are excellent, the other two are shoddy and one is an heartbreaker. For me, I would have chosen that and the readers would start calling for my head....
Bro, you are great....

To all who read our works, thanks you o...

And to those who are waiting for my next work, it has started on my blog. I want to finish it before bringing it here. So you can read it there or in my fbk notes.

I don tire to type....

Still I am Yet to come....

Taking a break to work on my next story. It is titled Ade's Chronicle. Its already started on my blog. I just want to finish it before bringing it to NL. So watch out for it. Ciao! Still I am Yet to Come.......................

kingphilip: Yettocome i sight u any latest

I am working on something now. I want to finish it before bringing it to nairaland. But you can quickly do a little gbeborun on my blog and see the first three episodes there.

The Rock.... I hail ooo

Michael. If I catch you eh? You go see something... Well done again... No dey fear o na play I dey play o....

Pattey: Attention: MODs

I have read a couple of 'MODs please forgive Kayemjay for whatever offence he committed to get banned'.

I find it very ludicrous to plead for someone to be 'unbanned' when his offence isn't made known. And whoever the MOD is hasn't thought it wise to come out with the facts. If this were unjustly done, it wouldn't be the first time the MODs on NairaLand will be irrational and I doubt its ever going to end unless a new platform is created; soon OR Seun kicks them down the bin!

This reflects a bigger problem with the Nigerian society; even in the face of a likely act of un-thoughtfulness by a MOD, my people are pleading WHEN they should be demanding answers. Yes, demanding!

Btw; it saddening my 1st comment on this wonderful story is to express disgust @ how Nigerians fail to adjust their mentality and ask the right questions.

So, I'll still do what I ought to; Kudos K! And I hope this banning incident doesn't demoralize you. . .

Bro, Jah bless ya fe dat kain utterance rastaman give. I just hate when pple act like they dnt owe others some explanation. Being in positn warrants dat u giv reasons for some actns. Rather dan speak, pple are begging. Check my first comment after d ban, I told Mynd dat I dnt mind being banned. I gat to talk.

Rock come out before what happened in 1827 happen in 2013.