₦airaland Forum

(strolling on the street of Lagos ) 15/18/2098.

Akin: Hello baby, I was the one waving my hands when you passed by the one-storey building, as in the one painted chocolate red.

Lizy: Ok, how do I help you.

Akin: **chuckles** am Akin a geophysics graduate of University of Ikoyi.

Lizy: sorry I don't have much time to discuss. Anyway, am Lizy. . . and what do u do?

Akin: I just finished my nysc and would be going for a managerial post interview in an International Oil Company in PH. Actually your face looks familiar, as in I know you somewhere.

Lizy: really ? wow. . . .a good job is ahead of you. But I dont think I know you.

Akin: i love your swag style. You re chic gurl. I love the way you smile, walk, talk. Oh my you re an angel.

Lizy: thank you. (shouting) okada, okada, motocycle, Obalende


(the duo exchanges tele number)

(at respective homes, Akin dials Lizy)

Akin: Hi Lizy, thanks for talking to you yesterday

Lizy: how are u Akin ?

Akin: i have a confession.

Lizy: go on Bwoy, am all ears.

Akin: the very first time I saw you, my love for you was gallivanting like an antelope. My love for you is as hard as nairaland. You are the sugar in my tea and the place I call home. Anytime I hear your voice, i feel like jumping into your arms. You are the woman that shares my dream. Please Nkem Lizy, I want to marry you. Please please, i love you, true to God. Are u there ?

Lizy: I can hear you. How come you love me so much for the first time of seeing.

Akin: love surpasses time barrier, am on my kneels, just say yes.

Lizy: am not interested in any relationship. I have some issues bothering me.

Akin: what is it ? Tell me, I would help.

Lizy: em . . .em. . .thats my darling. I lost my Aunt's N120,000 on my way to the market. If you can help me with N100k.

Akin:  ha, serious issue. 120k. Ok I would try my best. If you can come to my house on  Sunday. 8pm.

Lizy: ey, i love you. Ok, i will. Bye.

(hangs phone)

** soliloquizing in their rooms**

Akin: (rolling and laughing all alone in his unceilled cubicle)stupid girl, she wants money. God will just catch her and make her come on sunday. I will make sure i tear her to pieces. Suck her breasts like viju milk. 9 rounds is my mission.

Lizy: (applying pancake infront of a mirror) mumu boy , maga don pay. So him think say i be ashewo ? When Sunday come, I would tell him to come to Tantalizers with money. He will not only give me 100k but also pay for rice and chicken + ice tea. Now I can buy 11 G-strings, 8 Bras, 9 armless and 3 high soles (cocoshoe) like that of T*pe2000.

(light fades)
THE END.

Nairaland girls or Nairaland Mummies. Forget their look, most of them are archaic when it comes to thinking with their heads. Did I say most of them? Hell, all of them, including U !

Lol

Guy dont b a shitniz, my post was not directed at you. @ topic, its not an easy thing to forget most especially if the guy still come in contact with you. The best thing to do is to forget and avoid thinking of the escapede. . ., involve your mind in new love affairs. . . . . .and make the best out of your new quest.

Someone slammed ur coochie and jilted you or why erasing the deja vu?

y n

Cant think straight.

A Mild Ngozi

Hic . . . .hic . . . . .the ground is going sloppy and ma eyes going thinner. Am not drunk o. Plenty drunkardz in za ouse.

Yes to Quest.

JD Bwoy !

And what happens to other non ndigbo tribes ?

Nkem !

Gay ?

Lollipop

Drunkards.

They said am a B - 164

How do I increase conversion rate to 99%

Watching. Perform ur stunt.

Next

Urms, never knew u got boobies.

T. Y God !

Are u ready to pay 32k? Abeg go otigba go buy.

Whats happening here, have u guys started counting down ?

Haaa

Guys behave !

Mad goat

Nah. . . .am not a bloody tribalist. I purposely posted "Yoruba" for some dopey guys. I saw them going through the thread. We had a heated exchange of conflicting views off NL on advance fee fraud and Nigeria. They argued blindly that 99% of 419ners are Igbos. I was against them and it was hard for me to give them a very lastest example. Being on the thread together was a quick way to tell them " did u remember what I told you that day ? Is this guy another Onyigbo? Fraudulence is just part of some people's life. No matter their tribe, the evil in them will always surface". The Yoruba was a shot directed to a sect. Btw, i no get tribe !

Alakora npe elomii ni alakori !

Yoruba !