₦airaland Forum

Nonso23: Your post was totally on point until the bolded.
You should know that nowadays flashy is synonimous with high-maintenance, high-maintenance synonimous with runz-girlism, runz-girlism synonimous with No Future Ambition (NFA) and even serious, well meaning, RICH GUYS, would be scared of asking flashy ladies out judging from the above deductions. NO sensible guy would want anything serious with an NFA. It's a judgemental generalization but that's how a lot of serious guys think.

@O.p it's not a problem dressing good but moderation is key. It's okay not to be a perfect barbie all the time, it's okay to have your hair out of place once in a while and also unless you are headed to a function tone done on your casuals. Men overestimate the price of clothing on women and once their meter goes into the red zone it's going to be admiration from a distance and nothing more. Only married men and play boys who have nothing to lose will want to take take such up.
It's got nothing to do with esteem, it's all about opportunity cost and time value placed on targeted goals. Say no to time wasting

Actually what I meant by the bolded was different, you probably saw it differently! This is the definition of flashy according to my dictionary:
Adjective: flashy |fla-shee|
1. Tastelessly showy • a flashy ring = brassy, cheap, flash, garish, gaudy, gimcrack, loud, meretricious, tacky, tatty, tawdry, trashy...

From what I understand from the O.P, I'lld say she. isn't 'flashy', but 'classy', because being flashy has a negative connatation, like you rightly implied above and such a person can't be liked by everyone or be seen as a humble person like was pointed out. Her bro should have used a different word instead.
Yea, self esteem matters a lot. There are some things you cannot say about a person if you havn't met the person. The o.p doesn't depict a flashy person to me, at least from the little description here, so any guy who is scared or intimidated by her looks/aura/personality is problably scared to approach because he feels he might not match up to what he sees. Admiring someone from a distance and not being able to walk up to the person? This clearly has to do with one's self esteem. Or a low selfworth. Has nothing to do with being 'flashy'.
@ o.p Someone your type will definitely come by, just be ready to mingle!

@peaches, I hardly comment in here but just had to...

Seriously I have to say this post was kinda funny to me after reading it over because u are just freting over nothing! There's nothing for you to worry about here, u are very okayy to me. From your post, If you were really flashy, you wouldn't be liked by everybody talkless even considered humble. Rather you would be seen as supercillious and arrogant probably, but this isn't the case here since you were also considered as being down to earth. There is a differnce btwn being flashy, and classy!

The issue here is with the peeps you hang out with. Out of your friends, 5 are married and 4 in serious relationships. So none of your friends is single So how will single guys ask you out? You need to start going out more often, meet new peeps, and hang out with married pple less...
Most importantly be yourself. Any single guy out there who thinks you're 'flashy' is scared because he has low self esteem and is afraid he may not meet up to your standards. Go out more often and you'll meet other guys who'll appreciate you for who you are!

Mental strength involves more
than just willpower; it requires
hard work and commitment. It’s
about establishing healthy habits
and choosing to devote your time
and energy to self-improvement.
Although it’s easier to feel
mentally strong when life seems
simple — often, true mental
strength becomes most apparent
in the midst of tragedy. Choosing
to develop skills that increase
your mental strength is the best
way to prepare for life’s
inevitable obstacles.
Many exercises exist that can help
you develop mental strength. But
here are five that can get you
started:
1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs
We’ve all developed core beliefs
about ourselves, our lives and the
world in general. Core beliefs
develop over time and largely
depend upon our past
experiences. Whether you’re
aware of your core beliefs or not,
they influence your thoughts, your
behavior and emotions.
Sometimes, core beliefs are
inaccurate and unproductive. For
example, if you believe that you’ll
never succeed in life, you may be
less apt to apply for new jobs —
and inadvertently, you may not
present yourself well on job
interviews. Therefore, your core
beliefs may become a self-
fulfilling prophecy.
Identify and evaluate your core
beliefs. Look for beliefs that are
black and white, and then find
exceptions to the rule. Very few
things in life are “always” or
“never” true. Modifying core
beliefs requires purposeful
intention and hard work, but it
can change the entire course of
your life.
2. Expend Your Mental Energy
Wisely
Wasting brain power ruminating
about things you can’t control
drains mental energy quickly. The
more you think about negative
problems that you can’t solve, the
less energy you’ll have leftover
for creative endeavors. For
example, sitting and worrying
about the weather forecast isn’t
helpful. If a major storm is
headed your way, worrying about
it won’t prevent it. You can,
however, choose to prepare for it.
Focus on what is only within your
control.
Save your mental energy for
productive tasks, such as solving
problems or setting goals.When
your thoughts aren’t productive,
make a conscious effort to shift
your mental energy to more
helpful topics. The more you
practice expending your mental
energy wisely, the more it will
become a habit.
3. Replace Negative Thoughts
with Productive Thoughts
Although most of us don’t spend
time thinking about our thoughts,
increasing your awareness of your
thinking habits proves useful in
building resilience. Exaggerated,
negative thoughts, such as, “I can’t
ever do anything right,” hold you
back from reaching your full
potential. Catch your negative
thoughts before they spiral out of
control and influence your
behavior.
Identify and replace overly
negative thoughts with thoughts
that are more productive.
Productive thoughts don’t need to
be extremely positive, but should
be realistic. A more balanced
thought may be, “I have some
weaknesses, but I also have plenty
of strengths.” Changing your
thoughts requires constant
monitoring, but the process can be
instrumental in helping you
become your best self.
4. Practice Tolerating Discomfort
Being mentally strong doesn’t
mean you don’t experience
emotions. In fact, mental strength
requires you to become acutely
aware of your emotions so you
can make the best choice about
how to respond. Mental strength is
about accepting your feelings
without being controlled by them.
Mental strength also involves an
understanding of when it makes
sense to behave contrary to your
emotions. For example, if you
experience anxiety that prevents
you from trying new things or
accepting new opportunities, try
stepping out of your comfort zone
if you want to continue to
challenge yourself. Tolerating
uncomfortable emotions takes
practice, but it becomes easier as
your confidence grows.
Practice behaving like the person
you’d like to become. Instead of
saying, “I wish I could be more
outgoing,” choose to behave in a
more outgoing manner, whether
you feel like it or not. Some
discomfort is often necessary for
greater gain, and tolerating that
discomfort will help make your
vision a reality, one small step at
a time.
5. Reflect on Your Progress Daily
Today’s busy world doesn’t lend
itself to making much time
available for quiet reflection.
Create time to reflect upon your
progress toward developing
mental strength. At the end of
each day, ask yourself what
you’ve learned about your
thoughts, emotions and behavior.
Consider what you hope to
improve upon or accomplish
tomorrow.

Developing mental strength is a
work in progress. There is always
room for improvement, and at
times this will seem more difficult
than at other times. Reflecting
upon your progress can reinforce
your ability to reach your
definition of success while living
according to your values.

You can do a lot to stop your mother-in-
law from turning into monster-in-law.
Here are some simple steps that can help
you develop a great rapport with her.

1. Do your homework : Ask your husband for the issues that she may be touchy
about. You may not know about
family feuds and other such issues, so
don’t give your opinion before you know
all the details. Also, get to know what she
likes. If she loves serials then
try and talk to her about it. It may be the
ice-breaker that may lead to a great
relationship with her.
2. Bring gifts : Won’t you love it if a guests comes to your house with a gift in his/her hand. Similarly, you mother-in-law will appreciate your love for her a great deal more if you take some gifts for her every now and then.
3. Dress well : If you are out to impress, don’t go dressed in clothes that are not ironed and hair that’s not brushed
properly. And skimpy clothes are a strict
no-no. Similarly, it would do you good to
not reveal the tattoo on your spine
during your first meeting.
4. Don’t compete with her : Accept the fact that a mother is bound to be possessive about her son. So, don’t try and tell her
how to cook for him. Even if your
husband prefers your cooking to hers,
don’t point it out to her. Give her
compliments about her culinary skills and
even take recipes from her. A little
flattery doesn’t hurt, does it?
5. Be polite : If you can’t be overtly nice, then at least be polite. Don’t overrule
what she has to say. Also, don’t get into
an argument or debate with her during
your first meeting.
6. Call her often : To make sure that you communicate well with your mother-in-law call her at frequent intervals. Don’t wait
for her to call you. She will appreciate the
fact that you keep in touch over the
phone even when you can’t be around.
7. Seek advice : Regardless of whether or not you plan to take it, take their advice.
Your spouse’s parents will be glad to feel
that they still have some influence on
their child’s life.
8. Present a united front : Even if you have certain issues with your mother-in-law,
don’t wash the dirty linen in public. When
you are attending a family event make
sure that you don’t pass snide remarks or
discuss you differences in public.
9. Treat your spouse well in front of
them : Parents are obviously very
possessive about their kids, and the best
way to earn their respect is to treat their
child well.
10. Relax : The most important thing is to not
get too nervous, your mother-in-law is
bound to be as nervous about meeting
you. Secondly, learn to forgive and forget.
This simple rule will make your life a lot
easier.
culled from - http://thetrentonline.com/be-polite-10-superb-ways-to-impress-your-mum-in-law/

hehehe... *screenshot below*

Interesting!



Doyin Okupe: “Nelson Mandela was
a great leader, he lived his life for the
people of South Africa.
“I checked through the history of Nigeria,
among our past and present
leaders, the only one we can call our
Mandela here in Nigeria is President
Jonathan. There is no any other President in
Nigeria that has sacrificed 13 hours to
discuss with ASUU.”

---

The above is really fascinating!!!!

.

No comments?

awww Lovely!

Saraben: I will gv u 20k wt my s4

Just give him the S4 and give me the 20k

9 days to Christmas


S.A!

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interesting...

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Hello everyone! Lemme join in the fun

Good morning all!


still going...

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[quote author=uj_sizzle]Interesting esp the eye contact bit What happens when you don't maintain eye contact at all?
Who has time to measure pupil dilation
Some silences are actually very comfortable.
Swearing doesn't really reduce pain, it only takes your mind off it
5,6,7 very true
8 Dunno
9 True [/quote]

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S.A

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[quote author=uj_sizzle]Awwwww [/quote]

cacius: Omo You nor go fit sell dis car for naira land easily o. Make u try find who get Stella Oduah contact. I promise you she go buy the two. Just tell her say na bullet proof.

You lie!!! who told you that? lol.
Nairaland population is just like a representation of Nigeria's population.... There are millionaires billionaires on this site too!

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kkon: 5k

Sorry, that won't do sir. It's way more than that, btw already highly discounted... Call me lets talk.

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o.k. So how do you intend to send it now that is the issue.

Why is this not yet on front page?? ? Seun?

If it is skelewu now it.....

o.p buh I think u should have brightened the pic now it looks kinda dull?
Anywaiz don't worry.