₦airaland Forum

mtscheww
Damn ugly, especially from the rear view.
But the interior is superbbbbb!!!
Well I'll probably wait to get the 2016 model maybe that one will be finer.

The Jackass Story
Okay been keeping this for quite some time now it's high time I shared it with my fellow NLers so as not to be stingy.
Don't really know where to post tho, so i'm posting it here. Enjoy!!
********
This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you *don't* know! Now get this.
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, ''Hello?''
I politely said, ''This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?'' Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled, ''You're a jackass!'' and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word ''jackass,'' and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, ''You're a jackass!'' It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice say, ''Hello.''
I made up a name. ''Hi. This is the sales office of the Telephone Company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?''
He went, ''No!'' and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, ''That's because you're a jackass!''
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.
The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave.
Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. “Great," I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling, ''You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!''
The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, "This guy's a jackass. There sure a lot of jackasses in this world." I noticed he had a ''For Sale'' sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, ''You're a jackass!'' (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying onmy desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, ''Hello.''
I said, ''Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?''
''Yes, it is.''
''Can you tell me where I can see it?''
''Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front.''
I said, ''What's your name?''
''My name is Don Hansen.''
''When's a good time to catch you, Don?'' ''I'm home in the evenings.''
''Listen Don, can I tell you something?'' ''Yes.''
''Don, you're a jackass!'' And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, ''Hello.''
I yelled ''You're a jackass!'' but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, ''Are you still there?''
I said, ''Yeah.''
He said, ''Stop calling me.''
I said, ''No.''
He said, ''What's you name, pal?''
I said, ''Don Hansen.''
He said, ''Where do you live?''
''1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front.''
''I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers.''
''Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!'' and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, ''Hello.''
I said, ''Hello, Jackass!''
He said, ''If I ever find out who you are...'' ''You'll what?''
''I'll kick your butt.''
''Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!'' And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street. After that, I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.
Glorious watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life!!!

The End.

•Did you hear about the whale who swallowed a key? It got lockjaws.
•No matter how much you push the
envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
•Two hydrogen atoms meet. One
says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other
says “Are you sure?” The first replies,
“Yes, I’m positive.”
•Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says “Dam!”
•A dog gave birth to puppies near the
road and was cited for littering.
•The fattest knight at King Arthur’s
round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
•A rubber band pistol was confiscated
from algebra class, because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
•A bicycle can't stand on it's own. Because it is two-tired.
• The short fortune-teller, who escaped from prison, was a small medium at large.
•Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Really

[quote author=imsu.boi] nice one by infinix...




At least it has more "swag" than that yeye techno [/quote]tell them! ! !

samistry: and has dat 'swag' helped them sell more units than tecno?

see ode!! Did infinix tell you that they competing with tecno? Or do they look like tecno dat will release one fone in 5 places two two weeks gap? And d only thing that will be changed is d name?
The fact is dat u can never compare infinix and tecno, cos they are in two differnt classes, and they produce fones for differnt set of pple.
When I bought my infinix much earlier in d year, tecno android was not very common, bt now tecno be like: tecno M3, N3, L3, P3, D3, B3, A1, A2, F7, F9 etc. Heard there's even tecno S3 & I was like WTF??
Tecno is common like pure water. Count ten android users, 5 of them are tecno. Very embarrassing, tecno is wash. Even d name sef is not sweet. now dont get me wrong tecno may make gud androids bt I dont like followin crowds. infinix rocks!
#teaminfinix

honeric01: Not for this board

You mean not for sports section? Where then should it be? Okay as a Mod why nt move it to the appropriate section then the frontpage. Tenkx.

Pls why is dere no similar thread lyk dis in d auto section? We need it dere to make complaints/suggestions 2 d mods. Pls mod help get across tanx

Youngsage: Hello moderator(s), kudos to you all, & keep up the good work.
I want to recommend this topic for frontpage: https://www.nairaland.com/1444328/notable-events-since-arsenal-last
its been long we saw something like it on the f.p, for d fun of it all and to urge other fans to increase in support as well. thanks in anticipation

and why is this being ignored?? Mods haba nw
still waiting for response oh

Hello moderator(s), kudos to you all, & keep up the good work.
I want to recommend this topic for frontpage: https://www.nairaland.com/1444328/notable-events-since-arsenal-last
its been long we saw something like it on the f.p, for d fun of it all and to urge other fans to increase in support as well. thanks in anticipation

TECNO??

That is one reason I never wanted to go for tecno. I put infinix over tecno.
Lets face the fact, there is a certain aura of disdain or mock or anger (i don't even know what to call it) associated with d name ”Tecno”...
This is all because tecno had a bad foundation when they came into the nigerian market, the quality of fones they produced then was very low to be candid, and because they were so cheap pple rushed at them.
Now fast forward to this android era, and tecno have now upped their game by making quality android fones that are capable of competing with the high end androids, but due to d negative impression dat pple have is why even if u buy d "biggest" tecno fone, when u bring it out pple will look at it somehow!
Let us also admit d name tecno is not sweet As for me am rocking my infinix... d rep is dere confirm

21st May, 2005...
Approximately 8 years, 2 months, 9 days, 20 hours, 13
minutes, and 29
second... since Arsenal won a trophy.
Lets take a look at some notable occurences that have occured since then...
1- Lionel Messi turned
professional & won 78 individual
trophies/awards, including 4
consecutive Ballon d'Oors.
2- Steven Gerrard has played
over 340 games for Liverpool.
3- Arsenal have bought 49 players
and sold 79.
4- Members of that 2005 have won 53 trophies elsewhere.
5- Chelsea have had 9 different managers.
6- Technology skipped a
generation.
7- Lionel Messi has scored 269
goals..
8- Arsene Wenger has earned over
£56m in wages.
9- 29 English teams have won
domestic trophies.
10- England national team has been the same.
11- Juventus and man City have been
relegated, promoted and won the league.
12- Liverpool have won 5 trophies
[!!!!!!!!!!!]
13- Pep Guardiola retired as a player, became a manager and won 15 trophies.
14- Arsenal have spent £227.500.00 on new players.
15- Birmingham City have been
relegated three times, promoted twice, and won a trophy [League Cup]... Against Arsenal... Oh
wait! - Wigan too won a trophy and got relegated.
16-The planet 'Mercury' has orbited the sun 32 times.
17-Suarez has bitten 2 different players in 2 different countries
from 2 different teams.
18- Twitter has been created and gained over 500 million users.
19- Man. City have spent about £930 million pounds on players.
20- Every English club across every
English league has changed
manager. [Except Arsenal.]
21- Portsmouth have gone from
Premier League to League Two.
22- Spain rose to dominance in
world football and has won 3 major titles
consecutively, including The World
Cup.
23- Luis Suárez has been
suspended for a total of 32
games... Oh and he's won 5
trophies.
24- Nicholas Anelka has scored 98
goals for 7 different clubs, got
married & had 2 kids... And he's
won 6 trophies.
25- Zambia won the AFCON. [Yea, Zambia.]
26- Chelsea and Bayern signed 177
midfielders.
27- The average 7UP soft drink can
has been recycled 51 times...
28- There have been 908 recorded
instances of rabbits raping
cats... [daf*q?]
29- Chuck Norris has personally
taken down 1,122 international
terrorists.
30- Arjen Robben has passed the
ball to his teammate more than 5
times.. [incredible, this coming from Robben ]
31- Wayne Rooney has grown hair,
lost it, purchased a hair
transplant and then lost it
again...
32. It's the 8th Trophyless season for Arsenal, and Arsene Wenger has still refused to resign...
We hope the 'trophyless seasons' ends with this season, and with the arrival of Mesut Özil... - Concerned Fan.

Talk2nanro: I WANTED TO QUOTE THAT STUPID 4LLERBANTU AND MISTAKINGLY QUOTED HIM

Dis boy wat is/are your problem(s) exactly? Isn't it obvious already that you're the only stupid one here?? smh

Talk2nanro: U FOOLISH BOY, I WOULD GO FOR THE N9 EWU

Comments from idiots often amuse me. Your case being a classic example... Its obvious you lack home training, I'm very sure if you see me in real life you will be addressing me as sir because i am not your mate so I will not waste my energy on a spoilt kid.

pls hauz is pes2012 no longer available in google play? tried searching bt didnt find it..

.

.

wild child: Abeg who get modem na?

if you're serious contact me, i have glo netpro modem, still in d box. call 08141189004.

This thread is so useless without pics! Like if you agree



I will give it to Channels tho
Stv and TVC are jointly in 2nd positon











I think mitv/ogtv will come in last

.

hustla: smh for you
just say you want to sell your Korean made Sammy.. there has been a lot of comparisons, benchmarks et al on this same nairaland between the two of them
n9 beats it hands down..no memory card slot on the n9? i laugh in Spanish and ibo, you know nofin mate! Better front and back cameras.. better speed..what more do you need to tell us your sammy is just selling the brand name?

stop dissing.. open another thread and sell your sammy..

bye!

smh for you too,
you are the one who's dissing! see the plain truth here

sammoe: The thing is this (no hate to techno/ its users) techno cannot & should not be compared with samsung; nt yet.
Give one/two years / a few more releases from techno.
If not for d price factor techno would'nt have a market. Now dt they do, a combination of time, improved debugging would ensure they r in d top echelon.

And This...

ITbomb: Of course I will go for Samsung if given free. But I cant spend that amount on what I can get on Tecno at a lesser cost.
But I will prefer a Sony Tab if you are still interested in giving me free

Stop hating and face the facts!

Mac Emeka: from what U've said so far it shows
U've not even seen or explored the
tecno N9 tab..because if u had u will
know that it obviously comes with a
memory card slot.... if u
must say something abt the N9 make
sure u have first hand info on the
device. I own a tecno N9 tab and I can confidently say it has a MEMORY CARD SLOT !!

If you read my previous comments where I admitted basing my opinions about the N9 tab on a user's comment on this thread, which was misunderstood, then all what you've said wouldn't have been necessary. Next time read pple's comments & replies before you start spewing obtuse rantings, thus exhuming issues which have already been laid to rest.

adegbem: abeg u be noives and stop your stupidity

Mr man, it's 'novice' not 'noives'.
The magnitude of your stupidity is very alarming, this is evidently obvious!
Why not keep yourself busy by getting some proper education so as to avert any further jeopardy which may arise from your disheartening grammer.
My2cents

my Pictures are not showing why

.

My home screen

Uyi Iredia: If I had enough bar that's a no-brainer. Tab 2 . Tecno's N9 is a budget tab. I was even planning on getting balogunsam's cheaper alternative tabs but Tecno stole the day.

Pls how much is Tecno N9? #mine are really cheap though & negotiable...

[quote author=W-CUB3]Mr Sage do u even know anything about the Tecno N9 or you just trying to market your own product? Cos you sir are displaying ignorance here (no insult intended)
The tab has a mem card slot and can accept a max size of 32gb[/quote]Calm down. I don't use the Tecno N9 tab, so I based my comments on user's opinion. Guess I was mis-understood a comment.
Thanks for the correction Mr W-CUB3. Can see you are really a tecno enthusiast, but your first paragraph was not really necessary though...

hello mikkyangel! i'm defo gonna get one of those tabs but cant say when yet cos of cash flow hope, I dis promo will still b on by d time i'm ready

I once saw a dog almost as big as a horse, that was when i was still very small, so far its the biggest dog i've ever seen in my life. any idea what breed it could be

bintsdeyi: Omo wa se ire, FIBRE ACTIVE BISCUIT is the realest, lol, forget all ds expensive biscuit, they are just expensive for nothing, I take Fibre Active with milk for dinner almost everyday. U guyz try it and u won't test anyother, lol

Ur head dey dia jare, no mind all dose pple wey dey form for hia, "mcvities" dis, "mcvities" dat, me sef dey chop am but may we reason am: fibre activ in my area na 25naira and na 10 dey inside am, mcvities na 150 naira and na 12 dey inside, d two na digestive... jst take 2 fibre wit one big mirinda omo ur belle go set