₦airaland Forum

Wadewaltz:
Give ur fb name make we link up

You can drop yours

Amarabae you're beautiful

Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine,is celebrated annually on February 14. Originating as a Western Christian feast day honoring one or two early saints named Valentinus, Valentine's Day is recognized as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance and romantic love in many regions around the world, although it is not a public holiday in any country.

Martyrdom stories associated with various Valentines connected to February 14 are presented in martyrologies,including a written account of Saint Valentine of Rome imprisonment for performing weddings for soldiers, who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians persecuted under the Roman Empire.According to legend, during his imprisonment Saint Valentine restored sight to the blind daughter of his judge, and before his execution he wrote her a letter signed "Your Valentine" as a farewell.

The day first became associated with romantic love within the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the 14th century, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. In 18th-century England, it evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines". Valentine's Day symbols that are used today include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-produced greeting cards. In Europe, Saint Valentine's Keys are given to lovers "as a romantic symbol and an invitation to unlock the giver’s heart", as well as to children, in order to ward off epilepsy (called Saint Valentine's Malady).

Saint Valentine's Day is an official feast day in the Anglican Communion and the Lutheran Church. Many parts of the Eastern Orthodox Church also celebrate Saint Valentine's Day, albeit on July 6 and July 30, the former date in honor of the Roman presbyter Saint Valentine, and the latter date in honor of Hieromartyr Valentine, the Bishop of Interamna (modern Terni)

It's unfortunate that a lot of young teenagers and youths will bring doom upon themselves on this day, all in the name of valentine day, ladies better zip up!

Still your guy youngzubi.

lalasticlala

Computer science is the key..

Firstly you will be your own boss..

Secondly internet is the future, if you can improve your coding skills to some extent believe me not else will be as lucrative as being a professional programmer

More photos

Since most of the African countries got their independence from the whites things have really changed, there have been vast improvement in everything around us ranging from our way of life e.g(culture) to our environment,most things we're prone to see in the late 80's and 90's have been replaced interchangeably with the modern ones some of which are mud houses for the brick ones, black and white tv for the colored plasma tv and so forth.

Vast improvement in our way of life is a welcomed development but when we ought to forget our own culture in place of another man's own is quite unfair and harmful to our future generations, even the so called whites that we seems to emulate have something called museums where they safe-keep their cultural materials, art works and others just for future reference simply because they know that as they advance towards better development there's still need for future research which might call for reference to those artifacts.

Here is images of some of the things we Africans do in the 80's that are now hard to see among our people must especially in the cities, so for the sake of the young ones lets have fun as we share them, discuss and make references.

Your contributions are important though.

Grace,.. Thank jehova for him

1. Learn to relax your mind: always learn to free yourself from fear. Why am I saying this? Some students always panic whenever they remember they have jamb exam.

There is no need for you to worry much about that. All you have to do is study hard, get familiar with past questions and answer all available question, learn to give yourself question and solve it also.

Take a nap whenever you feel tired after reading, eat healthy food, and exercise your body.

Please this is a very important tips to grab because there have been issues where some students might forget some of the important materials that was required of them on the exam venue, simply because of panic that arise when they are traveling for their jamb exam.

Relax your mind, have confidence in yourself because your panic means that you are not sure of your ability to pass the exam. I assured you that you can achieve more when your mind is relaxed than when you are in a state of panic!.

2. Time management: To help sort out your time management, set up a timetable for your study. Write down how many subject that you will be writing on jamb and the day on which you have to sit for your own jamb exam. Then organize your study accordingly.

You may want to give some subjects especially mathematics, physics, chemistry (although that depends on how good you are with any available subjects) more study time than others, so find a balance that you feel comfortable with.

Remember do not wait till exam date is announced before you start studying your books, and please note that “you are not only studying to pass your exam but you are studying to acquire good knowledge and understanding of any subject you are studying on”. Do not be deceived by your peers who will try to laugh at you when you are visiting the school library, or stay up at midnight or anywhere you finds it comfortable to study your books ahead of your exam because you are laying foundation to your successful jamb examination results”.

3. Studying previous jamb past questions: studying/solving past Jamb CBT Exam questions is very important for every jamb candidates, there is no doubt to let you know that 30% of every jamb examination mostly comes from the past written jamb examinations.

So therefore studying past exam question will not only help to enhance your exam preparations but it can also makes you minimize your chance of failing the jamb exam.

So try as much as possible to download the myschool JAMB CBT software or the Myschool Mobile App that contains over 40,000 past questions and answers. This will be really helpful trust me!.

You can equally check out the myschool CBT Classroom. Whichever way you chooses try as much as possible to study jamb questions in other to be familiar with jamb question formats.

4. Getting rid of distractions: Make sure you have enough space to sort your textbooks and notes out. Try as much as possible to get enough study light that won’t make you feel dizzy or suddenly tired when reading, know what type of study light that is quite comfortable for your eyes, (although white light is more encourage-able to be used for studying).

Is your table, chair comfortable? Are your mobile phones, social media chatting or computer games out of sight? Be sure to perfectly Try and get rid of all distractions, and make sure you feel as comfortable and able to focus as possible during your reading sessions.

For some people, this may mean almost complete silence, for others, especially me, am more comfortable playing background music such as classical hits. (You can download a lots of classical hits online, they help to relax your brain while reading).

Some of us need everything completely tidy and organized in order to concentrate, while others thrive in a more cluttered environment. Think about what works for you, and take the time to get it right.

5. Plan your exam day: Make sure you get everything ready well in advance of the exam – don’t leave it to the day before to suddenly realize you don’t know the way, or what you’re supposed to bring.

Check all the rules and requirements, and plan your route and journey time earlier because we know how bad Nigerian roads are. So if your exam center is quiet far from where your location is, be sure to travel as early as possible to the exam venue If possible, do a test run of the trip. If not, write down clear directions.

Work out how long it will take to get there – then add on some extra time. You really don’t want to arrive having had to run halfway or feeling frazzled from losing your way. You could also make plans to travel to the exam with friends or classmates, as long as you know they’re likely to be punctual.

5. Take regular breaks: While you may think it’s best to study for as many hours as possible, this can actually be counterproductive. If you were training for a marathon, you wouldn’t try and run 24 hours a day. Likewise, studies have shown that for long-term retention of knowledge, taking regular breaks really helps.

Everyone’s different, so develop a study routine that works for you. If you study better in the morning, start early before taking a break at lunchtime. Or, if you’re more productive at nighttime, take a larger break earlier on so you’re ready to settle down come evening.

Try not to feel guilty about being out enjoying the sunshine instead of hunched over your textbooks. Remember Vitamin D is important for a healthy brain.

You may feel like you deserve a treat, or that you don’t have time to cook, but what you eat can really have an impact on energy levels and focus, so keep away from junk food.

Keep your body and brain well-fueled by choosing nutritious foods that have been proven to aid concentration and memory, such as fish, nuts, seeds, yogurt and blueberries.

The same applies on exam day – eat a good meal before the test, based on foods that will provide a slow release of energy throughout. Sugar may seem appealing, but your energy levels will crash an hour later.

As a final tip of this article, learn to Take adequate water, remember that being well hydrated is essential for your brain to work at its best. Make sure you keep drinking plenty of water throughout your revision, and also on the exam day.

Good luck! In your jamb examination, remember determination is the key to success!
lalasticlala

Hilarious jokes ���

1. Nigerians are very creative, just yesterday evening i entered a keke(tricycle) i got the shock of my life when i saw a ceiling fan hanged on the roof blowing with high speed.... Na my head i fear for..

2. All this yeye boys carrying laptop bag with ludo board inside.. Chai i just dey pity una destiny cos you're not deceiving us..

3. I had to sell my standing fan because of my slim girlfriend.. The fan always blow her to the toilet door each time they brought light in the midnight.... Sister nobi you i dey talk to o!.

4.wife: papa nkechi wetin do u for eyes?

Husband: ah! Na that aunty wey dey sing for church o!, she hit me microphone for eyes.

Wife: why na!

Husband : hmm! Na wen she dey sing,her gown folded inside her anus so i helped her to pull it out she just carry mic nack me for eye.

Wife: then don't help her next time.

3weeks later the husband returns with a complete blind eyes the wife was furious so she demanded explanation from the husband saying wetin happen this time?

Husband : with bowed head he replied, hmm na that aunty wey dey sing for church o!, today as she just dey sing i saw that her gown down fold inside her anus again but i said to myself that i won't help her no matter what but one brother came and helped her to pull it out then i went over to the uncle and said no no no! Bros she no dey like make person help her pull it out, so i use my hand chuck it back inside the aunty anus Na so she vex use microphone hit my two eyes..

5. All this girls shouting we nor dey were pant again because of yahoo boys.. Aunty just say you're too lazy to wash them every day... Yeeee who stone me pant!

6. Edo weed bad o!... Only the smoke i perceived, i went home and entered the toilet to urinate but i was surprised when i opened the door and saw that the light went on by itself then went off when i shut the door.. It was when my mom slap me and shouted zubi why you piss inside my fridge!!... Chinekee! So na fridge be this

7. Romantic husbands don't stress their wives to make eba (garri) for them, instead they put the garri in their mouth then pour hot water in their mouth.. Yeee who slap me?

8. Those boys that smell their boxers after wearing it for three days to see if they can still wear it again.. Brother lemme kuku cry for your sake... I wonder if you dey cover nose when you fart.

9. Those girls that can't hold the urge to scratch their bum in public, even at the bus stop.. Hmmm DJ well done o!..

10. A mallam was taken to the court for beating his wife with hammer

Judge : mallam azeez can you tell us what led you into the murderous act which led to your wife's death.

Mallamm azeez nodded his head in disgust and replied. Zirr! I nor come, my wife nor come, but baby come how come?.............. If you're the judge.. Oya settle the matter.

11. To commit suicide nor easy o!.. The day i tried to hang my self, you won't believe how relieved i was after i successfully freed my neck from the rope aarrhhhhhh!.. Life sweet o!... I comot cap for those heros past

13 Na me youngzubi composed this jokes, but you forgot to read number 12 which is the funniest..

14. Yeaa i caught you, u actually went back to check 12 but found out that there's no 12 and you're now smiling because i caught you

15. If you don't comment after reading i won't curse you, but the kind garri wey you go Drink this evening eh! Na Maggi go dey inside..its me youngzubi that said so.
Join my group for more hilarious jokes
https:///522542228206163?refid=18&__tn__=C-R
19. My elder sister cursed me saying : the kind garri you go dey drink for your life suggar go dey inside, grandnut go plenty inside, infact milk go excess inside it, you this idiot........ I can't believe i shouted amen!! I claim it.. Lwkmd!!!

20.i went to my wicked teachers house and he said, youngzubi take this shoes go and shine it for me. I got to the parlor and saw her two daughters watching tv so i decided to take my revenge so i said to the two girls, your dad said i should come and have sex with two of you they screamed its a lie then told them to wait and listen, so i shouted sir is it two of them!? And the man replied yes the both of them... Sense will not kill me

If you wish to read more can i hear your scream more!!

Which number do you like most?

BonkoINC:
Zubi my nigga


How is Spatta na ?

Spata is now a pastor with spana as the general overseer ... U need the church address

1. Nigerians are very creative, just yesterday evening i entered a keke(tricycle) i got the shock of my life when i saw a ceiling fan hanged on the roof blowing with high speed.... Na my head i fear for..

2. All this yeye boys carrying laptop bag with ludo board inside.. Chai i just dey pity una destiny cos you're not deceiving us..

3. I had to sell my standing fan because of my slim girlfriend.. The fan always blow her to the toilet door each time they brought light in the midnight.... Sister nobi you i dey talk to o!.

4.wife: papa nkechi wetin do u for eyes?

Husband: ah! Na that aunty wey dey sing for church o!, she hit me microphone for eyes.

Wife: why na!

Husband : hmm! Na wen she dey sing,her gown folded inside her anus so i helped her to pull it out she just carry mic nack me for eye.

Wife: then don't help her next time.

3weeks later the husband returns with a complete blind eyes the wife was furious so she demanded explanation from the husband saying wetin happen this time?

Husband : with bowed head he replied, hmm na that aunty wey dey sing for church o!, today as she just dey sing i saw that her gown down fold inside her anus again but i said to myself that i won't help her no matter what but one brother came and helped her to pull it out then i went over to the uncle and said no no no! Bros she no dey like make person help her pull it out, so i use my hand chuck it back inside the aunty anus Na so she vex use microphone hit my two eyes..

5. All this girls shouting we nor dey were pant again because of yahoo boys.. Aunty just say you're too lazy to wash them every day... Yeeee who stone me pant!

6. Edo weed bad o!... Only the smoke i perceived, i went home and entered the toilet to urinate but i was surprised when i opened the door and saw that the light went on by itself then went off when i shut the door.. It was when my mom slap me and shouted zubi why you piss inside my fridge!!... Chinekee! So na fridge be this

7. Romantic husbands don't stress their wives to make eba (garri) for them, instead they put the garri in their mouth then pour hot water in their mouth.. Yeee who slap me?

8. Those boys that smell their boxers after wearing it for three days to see if they can still wear it again.. Brother lemme kuku cry for your sake... I wonder if you dey cover nose when you fart.

9. Those girls that can't hold the urge to scratch their bum in public, even at the bus stop.. Hmmm DJ well done o!..

10. A mallam was taken to the court for beating his wife with hammer

Judge : mallam azeez can you tell us what led you into the murderous act which led to your wife's death.

Mallamm azeez nodded his head in disgust and replied. Zirr! I nor come, my wife nor come, but baby come how come?.............. If you're the judge.. Oya settle the matter.

11. To commit suicide nor easy o!.. The day i tried to hang my self, you won't believe how relieved i was after i successfully freed my neck from the rope aarrhhhhhh!.. Life sweet o!... I comot cap for those heros past

13 Na me youngzubi composed this jokes, but you forgot to read number 12 which is the funniest..

14. Yeaa i caught you, u actually went back to check 12 but found out that there's no 12 and you're now smiling because i caught you

15. If you don't comment after reading i won't curse you, but the kind garri wey you go Drink this evening eh! Na Maggi go dey inside..its me youngzubi that said so.

19. My elder sister cursed me saying : the kind garri you go dey drink for your life suggar go dey inside, grandnut go plenty inside, infact milk go excess inside it, you this idiot........ I can't believe i shouted amen!! I claim it.. Lwkmd!!!

20.i went to my wicked teachers house and he said, youngzubi take this shoes go and shine it for me. I got to the parlor and saw her two daughters watching tv so i decided to take my revenge so i said to the two girls, your dad said i should come and have sex with two of you they screamed its a lie then told them to wait and listen, so i shouted sir is it two of them!? And the man replied yes the both of them... Sense will not kill me



lalasticlala

Op fear weed

help i can't find the news here..

Guccified na from which dictionary..

Wadewaltz:
Smellin tin,u hv been insultin me in literature section but I cant reply becus divepen1 banned me,u cyclops-lukin slowpoke wit tragic jokes.U be like pikin wey d mama stand born.From ur village,becus u see fone u tink say u don big.Yeye fowl.Toothbrush hawker wit scam businesses.You will soon run away lyk ur alternate account youngzubi,dunghead

Can't stop laughing .

Okafor is total different from me( youngzubi) don't let the pidgin deceive you, Okafor200 is just my fan who decided to follow my pattern of writing.... At last i'm beginning to lyk dis yo trouble cos i always end up laughing hard to the shitt you type. I guess if you had read my work then you must have come across my fb moniker, Check out my profile then you can juxtapose...

And again i dey feel your rap for rap battle

Lalasticl*** if u know u know... Pot on fire!

Only if that offer was made to one of naija rechecked yahoo guy..

Like seriously you dash am pant

How much is 1£ in naira?

Real men don't go about stressing their wives to make garri (eba) for them. Instead they pour the garri inside their mouth then drink hot water.

Buhari will steal 50 billion dollars.. EFCC will be like oga is dat one enuf?... But that poor man in that post will suffer to hell cos of just a litter of petrol.. Sigh..

Is this not chioma davido?.... Abi op smoke edo weed

The meeting between the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) and the Federal Government is currently going on at the Federal Ministry of Labour and Employment, Abuja. According to the Minister of Labour and Employment, Chris Ngige, the aim of the meeting is to ensure the lecturers get back to work.It was gathered that the National President of ASUU, Biodun Ogunyemi, led the union’s delegation to the meeting. ASUU delegation arrived at the venue some minutes before 4:00 p.m., but no member of the federal government delegation was initially around.The FG delegation later arrived and the meeting was declared open by Mr Ngige at exactly 5:25 pm.

The minister of education, Adamu Adamu, was absent when the meeting comenced. However, the permanent secretary, Sunny Echono, was present to represent the minister.

Commenting before the meeting, Mr Ogunyemi maintains the union wants the government to get it right this time around. He said it is essential for its demands to be met to ensure quality education

The meeting which lasted for four hours, could not yield a positive result as ASUU Chairman has insisted that the strike will continue. This conclusion was reached, after Federal Government showed no commitment towards the funding and revitalisation of universities.

The ASUU Chairman, Professor Ogunyemi, told newsmen that the issue of funding and revitalisation of universities was too crucial too be left out, and so the union cannot call off the strike if nothing is done to commit to that issue. He said; “The most critical of all is revitalisation,” he said. “Revitalisation is central to our work as academics and unless that area is addressed, members will have issues with ongoing action.”

He then added; “They gave us their response to our proposals, there were still grey areas that we are trying to sort out. So, when we finish those areas, you will know the full outcome.”

On the Federal Government Part, Dr Ngige said; “We have started defraying the end allowances there, we have also released N15.4 billion for the shortfall in payment of salaries, and we have also agreed today to fund revitalisation,” he explained to reporters at the end of the meeting.

Ngige continued; “We are going to expend some money there; this is irrespective of the fact that government has released from the TETfund account about N163 billion.”

ASUU is expected to again, consult with members before taking the next step, and then reach the FG for another meeting, at a later date.

lalasticlala

Sweet Sixteen” by Bolaji Abdullahi is the official novel to be read
by every JAMB candidate in the 2019 UTME, irrespective of the course you
intend to study. We will therefore be embarking on Exam Revision to study
this novel by giving summaries, possible questions and important
information that would help you pass every single question set by JAMB from
this novel. Every candidate registering for 2019 UTME is entitled to this
novel, “Sweet Sixteen” by Bolaji Abdullahi, so ensure you demand for it
at the centre where you are registering for UTME. It is compulsory, and it
is your right to have it. Please always check this our publication for new
updates

lalasticlala