₦airaland Forum

When my name disappears from this board.

LewsTherin: Choices. That's what life is about. My siblings, my parents, myself, none of us are "close". Heck we only call each other when there's a message to be passed across. It's always been like that and probably will forever be like that. That's how I was raised and it passed on to how I relate with people. I am note the easiest person to get close to. But my friends always say I am one of the best friends they have.

Now with my wife, it's an entirely different kettle of fish. We're inseparable. We are close-chummy-besties-lovey-dovey-lovers. Completely different from how I grew up and I expect the same with my kids when they come.

It's all about the choices and decisions you make. If you continually fear that you'll be a "bad" mother, I guarantee you'll be that. Work on yourself before you perpetuate an attitude you don't like.

Thanks.

Kanwulia: Maternal instincts does not always come with motherhood,
Your ability to take care of your children can only be determined WHEN YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THEM.
You are putting the cart before the horse.
My only concern for you is that YOU ARE WORRYING ABOUT WHAT HAS NOT HAPPENED YET.
Says a lot about your state of mind.
Your mother's problems are HER PROBLEMS, not yours.

You need to learn to start devoting time to YOUR OWN NEEDS, not those of others!






Hmmm!
Porsin go juss siddon for chair dey think of 'ow to stress imsef for nothing?

I am convinced you REEEEEEEEEEALLY need help. . .but of a different subject-matter that has to do with SELF-ESTEEM.

You lack self-confidence. . . . .

A most unfortunate predicament for one to be in while thinking of marriage and having children. You better NOT!

Thanks for dropping your piece. I am not a mother so i don't know how it feels to be one.
Lack of self-esteem is not the issue,i'm just being realistic. Truly, her problem is hers not mine and i have handled it this far but people say you don't give what you don't have.

Hi Nairalanders,i posted this topic because i want to know if what i feel is normal. I grew up in a not-so-friendly 'environment'. My mum and I are not friends as far back as i can remember. No exclusive female discussion,no heart-to-heart talk,i went through puberty and all the stress -peer pressure,menstruation- on my own. There is this gulf between us that grows wider as i grow. I don't even tell her if i'm sick because i feel like i'm disturbing her.
This has affected virtually every area of my life but i won't bring those up cos i don't want to mix things up. Another thread will do.

Now the issue is that anytime i think of marriage,i doubt if i'll can take care of my kids cos i do not have any experience. Is this feeling normal? How do i get over it? I need your opinion.

This is so true,though the part of a textbook that costs 2000,i doubt.
The annoying thing is even if someone gives you the same textbook,you must still buy. We have like hundred textbooks from KSP in my house-my sister and I studied the same course. Some lecturers even make the textbook's mark as high as 20. I don't know if this happens in every polytechnic.

My other school is totally different(a uni). The lecturers do not sell textbooks,they only give us notes to make photocopy and they also recommend textbooks-not written by them.

#Team 23rd.

faboloustic: and what is wrong with that if you are a Christian. I need someone that can strengthen me when I'm down.

I am not your type of christian.

lilTunechi: I usually Close my eyes and Savour the Moment. When he's done i'd be like "Ah bros dis place nko? Re-adjust am abg". I'd not want him to finish.

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Same here.

faboloustic: a woman who loves God and wants to abide by what the Bible

. I was going to say i will marry you until i saw this. keep searching Bro, she's out there and i hope you find her soon.

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Sagamite: Women do not compromise when they are at their peak and have options.

I am also at my peak and have options, so I do not compromise on what I want.

The advantage they have is that, most times, I have to be the one to invest first. So they can close case without losing.

But I have the advantage that my peak period is quite long and I have more options than they ever had, so I can take more risks.

Works for me. My advantage is superior.

Case closed!

Sagamite: I don't care what reason they do it for. It feels artificial, is uninspiring and it is boring.

I would quickly lose the fire in my belly when I have to sign a contract to get a relationship. That is why I like younger girls who are still in their carefree stage.

There is nothing like an electric spark of attraction between both sides, where things happen in spontaneity.

If all men reason like you,the case would be different. Some of these ladies have genuine excuses.
A friend once told me "the day a lady who agrees to date me tells me she's taking her time,she's on her way out". Just like you,I like spontaneity.

Sagamite: "You have to buy me X before you touch/date me."

"You have to be looking for marriage to date me."

"I have to know you for at least 6 weeks before we kiss and 12 months before we have sex"

Basically, the interaction is not about passion nor is it spontaneity. It is about "what is in it for me". Someone looking for someone that can provide a goal/benefit, not someone attracted to you for you. Sign the contract before I do X.

It is business not feelings.

That's very true.
About those giving a specific period,while some are just being careful so they won't be labelled 'cheap',some are trying to see what they can syphoon from you within that period. If it's worth it,they let you in ; if not,no sex.
As for the others,i reserve my comments.

Sagamite: 1. Rude
2. Her head up her arsse.
3. Classless.
4. Poor conversationist.
5. Not genuinely interested in me.
6. Frigid/unsexy/intimately dull/practices contract-based intimacy.

Most Naija girls normally have 4 out of 6 of the above.

I can easily with relate number 4,most Nigerian ladies (guys too) are poor conversationists and it's worse when you meet one whose IQ is way lower than yours but number 6 -contract-based intimacy- i do not understand you.

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Onions
Locust beans.
Btw,Who eats garlic on a first date?

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If you are sure you are not pregnant,it's a two way thing.
I once knew a lady like that,no period for two months and the scan revealed that she was okay.
If after 8 weeks,it's still not coming it MIGHT be a problem.
Best thing is to see a Gynaecologist.

Because they do not want their names to appear on this.

It's funny how most people interpret 'I missed my period' to 'I'm pregnant'. Missing one's period might be a sign of pregnancy(80%) and it might be something else : infection,stress,anxiety etc.

...And I am gamophobic.

Fool again - Westlife.
Bibanke - Asa.
Goodbye my lover - James Blunt.

Btw,i thought you said last year that you were single (ladies leave you two months). How come you had a two-year old relationship?
#JustThinking.

It's not about the person whom we believe in,it's about the 'agent' e.g Prophet Muhammad (SAW),Jesus Christ etc.
If only people could:
1). Follow this rule 'love thy neighbour'.
2). Believe there is a supreme being up there who'll punish evildoers.
The world will be a better place as there will be no religion and denomination.

Speaking from the christian perspective,it's satan.
1). Before Adam was created,the fight between God and Satan had happened.
2). At the 'scene of the crime', the serpent allegedly deceived them. Deceit is a sin.

But this submission brings many other questions to mind.
1). Who created evil?
2)Lucifer wanted to be as high as God so he disobeyed and rebelled against him,where did those thoughts come from?
3). God knows everything,huh? Why create evil when He knew men will fall for it?
4). Why did He leave the 'vulnerable' Adam and Eve alone when He knew what the serpent was capable of? (Assuming he's omniscience).
5). Why plant that tree in the garden?
Etc.

Tolexander: Sometimes i give #1,000. Just to appreciate what the lord did for the previous week.




















But after the service, i always go to the financial dpt to collect my #995 change.

This got me laughing.

To Kofi Awoonor and others who lost their lives-R.I.P.

Psychology.
Philosophy and Logic.
Theology,Religious studies-Strange but true.
Any who studied/studies Advanced Marxism is more likely to be an atheist than a 'believer'.

YankeeJoe: so thr is notin wrong wit dat inasmuch as my gal and I re both getin along with?

Yes sir.

Just like someone said,not everyone is good with Public Display of Affection.
I am an example.