₦airaland Forum

I can't stop thinking about this fact, cos and I need people to relax and contribute to this story to confirm if truly making a right choice of a woman could bring wealth & glory upon a man for success.

Mama made me understand that as soon as a real woman of your star comes in a marrige with you, that doors would open, no matter the situation. And its the other way round if you got married to someone whose star isn't in line with ours.

Mama said he married baba at the age of 18 after her elementary school and then hhe was a sales boy at one of the cement store in our village. Baba proposed to her and they both agreed to get married despite the fact that baba was just on less than 50kobo per month.
They got married according to mama without anything and as soon as mama packed to his one room face me and face you apartment, just a month after the wedding, someone offer to help baba with a small money to help him with his own store.

Baba started with 5bags of cement just infront of the rented apartment and that was how things started booming for the family. And in less than 10yrs, Baba built his own house & he got a license to collect cement directly from the factory in Sagamu.

However, things took another dimension when his uncle introduced him to a young lady who just finished in DTC divisional teachers collage as a secretary. Well, baba accepted her and decided to marry her as a 2nd wife.
There was a serious critics from his friends and Mama. But they all blamed Mama for being selfish over the husband's wealth.

Baba married the young lady and decided to fixed her up for a teaching job close to where stayed.
She got pregnant and the birth of the child brought calamity into their house. The same day the child was born, Baba truck carrying goods from ibadan to okeogun had an accident and fell into the oke ogun river. The driver of the truck died and kept so many people injured.

Baba lost all he had after his new marriage and left with just the house he built before his new marriage and his business capital went down.


Now on our topic, could that be as a result of the new wife to the family or he was destined for such in life.

Truly, I believe a real woman directs his husband and gives him advise on ways to make sure things work better in life.

But I must confess that its still better to be careful as mama said not to make a mistake or get married to someone that would make one's life miserable.

Father Pat Connor, a 79-year-old Catholic priest born in Australia and based in Bordentown, N.J., has spent his celibate life — including nine years as a missionary in India — mulling connubial bliss. His decades of marriage counseling led him to distill some “mostly common sense” advice about how to dodge mates who would maul your happiness.

“Hollywood says you can be deeply in love with someone and then your marriage will work,” the twinkly eyed, white-haired priest says. “But you can be deeply in love with someone to whom you cannot be successfully married.”

For 40 years, he has been giving a lecture — “Whom Not to Marry” — to high school seniors, mostly girls because they’re more interested.

“It’s important to do it before they fall seriously in love, because then it will be too late,” he explains. “Infatuation trumps judgment.”

I asked him to summarize his talk:

“Never marry a man who has no friends,” he starts. “This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. I am always amazed at the number of men I have counseled who have no friends. Since, as the Hebrew Scriptures say, ‘Iron shapes iron and friend shapes friend,’ what are his friends like? What do your friends and family members think of him? Sometimes, your friends can’t render an impartial judgment because they are envious that you are beating them in the race to the altar. Envy beclouds judgment.

“Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy? Most marriages that founder do so because of money — she’s thrifty, he’s on his 10th credit card.

“Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to yours. It’s good to have a doormat in the home, but not if it’s your husband.

“Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings? When he wants to make a decision, say, about where you should go on your honeymoon, he doesn’t consult you, he consults his mother. (I’ve known cases where the mother accompanies the couple on their honeymoon!)

“Does he have a sense of humor? That covers a multitude of sins. My mother was once asked how she managed to live harmoniously with three men — my father, brother and me. Her answer, delivered with awesome arrogance, was: ‘You simply operate on the assumption that no man matures after the age of 11.’ My father fell about laughing.

“A therapist friend insists that ‘more marriages are killed by silence than by violence.’ The strong, silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive. That world-class misogynist, Paul of Tarsus, got it right when he said, ‘In all your dealings with one another, speak the truth to one another in love that you may grow up.’

“Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him. He’s a heavy drinker, or some other kind of addict, but if he marries a good woman, he’ll settle down. People are the same after marriage as before, only more so.

“Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Kay made a monstrous mistake marrying Michael Corleone! Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours? I remember counseling a pious Catholic woman that it might not be prudent to marry a pious Muslim, whose attitude about women was very different. Love trumped prudence; the annulment process was instigated by her six months later.

“Imagine a religious fundamentalist married to an agnostic. One would have to pray that the fundamentalist doesn’t open the Bible and hit the page in which Abraham is willing to obey God and slit his son’s throat.

“Finally: Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being — the willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous? Or is he inclined to be a fibber, to fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious of you, to be secretive?

“After I regale a group with this talk, the despairing cry goes up: ‘But you’ve eliminated everyone!’ Life is unfair.

Dis story require a serious investigation! I cnt really pick a good excuse on the reported case.
1. where were the car seller when the kids opened the car
2. Who finally noticed the twins inside the parked car?
3.Is the car with a child lock, cos they opened it and am sure they shld kw d place to open it from the inside too.

May their soul rest in peace! But Nigeria Police need to dig more in2 dis matter to really kw d cause of this tragedy.

Wow! Very wonderful man of God back those days in the 80's. He is from ilesha and performed a lot of miracles. He quoted bible verses & Read the bible despite the fact that he was blind. A strong man of CAC.

BabaObadare, May your soul rest in peace!

Book your copy now before the Oga's at the Top consumes all!

Stp askng me wen I'm getin married,wen its tym,"my OGA @d top wil alert me" I cn't announce one date nw&my oga @d top says anoda. :p

Oga@TheTop:

I wonder ooooO. I tink we nid 2 ask d most Oga on top! Dunno wht dis fu*kn pixs r doing on NL FP.

4 Play: He, alongside other opposition party Governors, has just participated in a farce that saw the pardon of looters and you claim he's fighting for justice.

Thanks so much for you point Man. Its ONLY GOD that will save us from our selfish & foolish Leaders in this country. I don't expect Oshobaba to be in the looters meeting. Even the likes of OBJ & IBB are absent from the so called meeting.

Now we hardly see & know the messiah of our time who could help us out of this bondage

For me,

Actresses...I love Funke Akindele with her swagger & nice commitment to any of her roles in the movie.

Actors.....hmmmmmmm, do I really have one in mind? Ramsey Noah.

So over to everybody in the house!

Tascocent: abeg laff wan kill me for here oooooooooooooooooooo. stop b4 i hug my boss wife o

U beta hug transformer instead of ur Oga Madam.... Cos I de sure say dat one go help u pass

Where is my lola.luv...let us parry 2gedr!

Brand_new: Seconded.
@OP, I want to believe the consular office will like to deny your Visa application again and again. They probably have your records from your first interview which you failed. It'll become even more difficult for you to get your USA Visa application granted.

You applying as a Tourist in NY also doesn't sound right. It would have been more convincing if you already made contacts in New York through which your visit can be verified. An average American might find it difficult to believe that a graphic designer turn interior decorator will be able to afford close to $10,000 for a 6 month trip. Maybe it's possible but that's just their mindset, except your company is Noteworthy. (The Nigerian 419/Drug trafficking image wouldn't help either).

So I'll say, if you must visit North America, then why not opt for Canada, Toronto and Vancouver is a good substitute for New York with bright night lights and busy streets. After all you're visiting as a Tourist.

You are right man! The OP must have had a little issue with his first interview. I knew of a particular case of a guy who has been denied up 2 like 4 times without any luck. Well, it depends on his faith. I got mine with just £500 in my acct. He may reapply again may be his luck wld shine dis tym arnd.

Noting to talk, its like comparing Harvey & Prezzo.

The whole issue is turning 2 be a super story! Goldie-Prezzo vs Goldie Oyinbo harvey! Prezzo was granted naija Visa & the main hubby denied. Dis na real "Skibobo". Anyway, am api 4 Prezzo cos the guy is already finding himself glue with naija celebrities cos if they ask where things happen in africa....men na naija oooOoooooo. RIP skibobo!

Somebody shld help me tell Prezzo that I av a house 2 let arnd ajegunle, a gud 2bed 4 him.

Ajasco Mama

This is notin bt a clear lie. The Poster shld let us know d exact place d pixs was taken in italy. I have met both Ghanians & Nigerians Prostitute in both triveso & trieste subway in italy. Some of them even ride on good cars with a nice apartment. So whoever is carrying dis fake news shld jst go n relax. I am not in support of prostitution but d truth is dat d life they live isn't as worst as wht we see in dat pix.

People should get ready to receive the clueless eagles 2moro Cos CIV team will give them hard game that wld kick them off the tournament.

Better we advise all Nigerian supporters with hypertension to stay off from viewing the match or else
Gongo aso o!

Abo oro lan so fun omoluabi to ba de inu e a di odidi!

Could anyone explain the differences in our Military barracks and Police Residential Quarters in the country?

Bigboytinz: Hello, just arrived Kabul and would want to meet other Nigerians living and working here in Afghanistan. If u wanna hook up drop a line. tanx

I have been to Afgan. During the negotiation on the the construction of the Central Asian gas pipeline, its a No go area cos of the issue of the Taliban. I visited the US army base. We av a lot of Nigerians working for US army. In fact some naija woman are in d camp as a stylist for ladies hair. So if you need to look arround, pls ask of US base, although you might find it difficult to enter the camp, but with your passport, you may likely be allowed in2 d Camp. Best of luck man

RICH-BOI:
Just don't go to US embassy to apply for any visa again and if u do you will end up in Guantanamo Bay detainment camp

I have been to Afgan. During the negotiation on the the construction of the Central Asian gas pipeline, its a No go area cos of the issue of the Taliban. I visited the US army base. We av a lot of Nigerians working for US army. In fact some naija woman are in d camp as a stylist for ladies hair. So if you need to look arround, pls ask of US base, although you might find it difficult to enter the camp, but with your passport, you may likely be allowed in2 d Camp.

dmcdad: Sorry for prying but... Is that your case?

Another topic that need 2 make the front page

I was surprise yesterday when I went for swimming and noticed a pregnant woman in d pool. I need Dr's on NL 2 tell me if the lady is safe inside the pool health wise!

dmcdad: You are welcome... This is a very serious issue. It happens more with women who get pregnant out of promiscuity and deceive the husband that the child is his. I have witnessed several of such happenings. The last one I got to know of is of a man who has three (3) children or who think he has three children. Among the three childrens, one is a medical doctor, another a lawyer and the third one is just a high school graduate. To cut the long story short, for some reason the DNA test was conducted between the father and the first child who happens to be a lawyer. Newsflash! Their DNA didn't match, and that was the beginning of the end. After getting such, the scepticism of the man was triggered and he requested that same test should be conducted on the other two of his children. Lo! & Behold! after the test was carried out on the other child (the medical doctor), it was discovered too that the guy is not his son. The only child that belongs to the man is the high school graduate.. The rest is history. Now tell me if you were in this man's shoes, what would you do, or how would you feel But, people (especially women on matters such as this) are very wicked and heartless.

Once again, God help us all...

Hmmmmmmm! Nkan mbe o! Somtin de o!

outrage: That your uncle.. Make I no talk sha..
But him no notice resemblance ni?

Na all pikin de resemble their parents! In fact, them no resemble at all! I think she looks like d real Papa!

I just heard dis gist from naija, and decided to share it wit my ppl on NL. I have heard stories of how some men keep their top secret from their wives and women to their husbands! This is another story which would leave so many ppl speechless. Its so funny to be real but believe this happened just. 7days ago..
My uncle had his 20yrs wedding anniversary last week & he shocked everybody by introducing his 25 year old son from another woman in2 the family. But instead of his wife 2 go mad, she confessed her secret too. that Toyin, that has been with them after their wedding some years back is her daughter from her first love.

The whole issues generated a fresh problem in d family while uncle insisted he can no longer be in the same roof with his long loved wife forgotten that he was wrong by having to hide such from his own wife too...
The Q is, y do couples after wedding still engage in keeping top secrets that might end up putting them in trouble in time to come!

Is it really a good idea to keep secret from your husband/wife.?

lola.luv:
Hello my old friend!
I come in peace this time!

TBH, they are both important. Having a bit of money to run things and getting attention from the special one in your life!

Lola padi temi nikan! Merry xmas jare! Well, you zd both r important! But what about you getting only money or attention! Would that be okey!

I have seen men too busy to attend to their wives,And this is as a result of the nature of their work. But one thing is that they ensure money is available at all time for them.

Ladies! What are your views on this topic? Do you think money is all that matters in a marriage! What about attention? Been able to at least spend time with the person you call your husband should be a priority too...

Let's hear from you ladies!

Guyz, this goes to you! I have seen so many of my friends with pictures of their wife inside their wallet! And unmarried one's among them also put up the postcards of their fiancée inside their Wallet! Guyz what do you have to say about this idea? Right or wrong!

lafflaff123: @lola good to see your english improving gradually.

So no more gutter spewing from your mouth?since we have started improving on the way you write, we might as push it a little further by working on your mannerism and and your stomach filled with hate.

Write me a private mail and I am ready to be that male model role you lacked in your life.

Waiting.

@lafflaff123, y dnt u leav dt idiot LoLalabake alone! She needs an assistance of a doctor 2 fix her rotten brain!

lola.luv:
^^^
OH, you're back!!

Has Emeka given Labake another dose today? Oya, tell us!!

The word you seek is 'rabid'. And you exhibit the symptoms with your Dubai hallucinations...
Foam at the mouth some more, weere oshi!!

Yah, am back cos I dnt av ur tym aldwhile! U shld kw I have a better work here, unlike u managing wit 10k pay per month. Well, I guess that alone made u act up atyms, cos it gets u Mad all time working more n getting less. Dnt worry, if u nid help, jst contact me. I won't cos of ur madness disown u. And if u dnt av a job yet, send me ur cv so I cn ask my guyz in naija 2 pull u out of ur poverty condition. Omo iran ki ran!