₦airaland Forum

FuckTheM0ds:
And Tompolo flies to Libya, while Buhari flies to London, Boko haram flies to Cameroun, Fulani Herdsmen Treks to Libya, Ipob Massob and all Bia'frauds fly to Morocco and Lastly Niger Delta Avengers Flies to Egypt.
Make these flying hooligans just kukuma fly away and never come back again and leave our dear Nigeria to be at peace.
Odabooo o

hmmm u wish...in ur dream!

[quote author=kingsamosy post=46227899][/quote]what's dis one saying abeg? hmmm! Na wa o for some pple sef! Fulani go butcher person for ur presence one day so u can now tel us who d real terrorist s are...Anu Mpama mtchewwwww!

before nko? wetin una b...u pple are terrorist s joor! what do u make of a people who suddenly jumps on others and start killing them and what's more, u are even hoping that d Senate will pass d grazing bill into law so DAT ur evil plans can b fully manifested abi? it can Neva work o!

ishowdotgmail:
GEJ has got no other option than to accept the defect earlier b4 the announcement of the presidential results.....

GEJ and PDP are failure no doubt

lol! abi? jus like PMB and APC are gradually failing.

lol! don't knw whether to agree with this thread...no 4 though, smh!

HOW TO WORSHIP THE NIGERIAN god


The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, adherents of the different sides may fight and kill each other. But Nigerians essentially follow the Nigerian god.


This article is for all those who want to become better worshipers. If you are a new or prospective convert, God will bless you for choosing the Nigerian god. This is just how you must worship him.


First, you must understand that being a worshiper has nothing to do with character, good works or righteousness. So the fact that you choose to open every meeting with multiple prayers does not mean that you intend to do what is right. The opening prayer is important. Nothing can work without it. If you are gathered to discuss how to inflate contracts, begin with an opening prayer or two. If you are gathered to discuss how to rig elections, begin with a prayer. The Nigerian god appreciates communication.


When you sneak away from your wife to call your girlfriend in the bathroom, and she asks if you will come this weekend, you must say—in addition to “Yes”—“By God’s grace” or “God willing”. It doesn’t matter the language you use. Just add it. The Nigerian god likes to be consulted before you do anything, including a trip to Obudu to see your lover.


When worshipping the Nigerian god, be loud. No, the Nigerian god is not hard of hearing. It is just that he appreciates your loud fervour, like he appreciates loud raucous music. The Nigerian god doesn’t care if you have neighbours and neither should you. When you are worshipping in your house, make sure the neighbours can’t sleep. Use loud speakers even if you are only two in the building. Anyone who complains must be evil. God will judge such a person.


This is how the Nigerian god judges people who are your enemies- evil people who want to spoil your hustle; like your colleagues who don’t want your promotion; like your single old aunties who secretly don’t want you to marry that rich handsome man (who you haven’t met yet); like all your neighbours who are stopping you from getting pregnant: He violently consumes them by fire. He returns all their evil plans back to sender. So when making requests about all your enemies, do not pray that they be forgiven or that they change. Pray that the Nigerian god kills them off with such violent finality that there is nothing left of them. 


Attribute everything to the Nigerian god. So, if you diverted funds from public projects and are able to afford that Phantom, when people say you have a nice car, say, “Na God”. If someone asks what the secret of all your wealth is, say, “God has been good to me”. By this you mean the Nigerian god who gave you the uncommon wisdom to re-appropriate public funds.


Consult the Nigerian god when you don’t feel like working. The Nigerian god understands that we live in a harsh climate where it is hard to do any real work. So, if you have no clue how to be in charge and things start collapsing, ask people to pray to God and ask for his intervention.


The Nigerian god loves elections and politics. When you have bribed people to get the Party nomination, used thugs to steal and stuff ballot boxes, intimidated people into either sitting at home or voting for you, lied about everything from your assets to your age, and you eventually, (through God’s grace), win the elections, you must begin by declaring that your success is the wish of God and that the other candidate should accept this will of God. It is not your fault whom the Nigerian god chooses to reward with political success. How can mere mortals complain?


The Nigerian god does not tolerate disrespect. If someone insults your religion, you must look for anyone like them and kill them. Doesn’t matter what you use—sticks, machetes, grenade launchers, IED’s, AK47’s. If the person who insults your religion is online and you can't locate them, feel free to threaten to kill them. Like we say in Nigeria: "at all-at all na im bad pass". Something is better than nothing at all. 


The Nigerian god performs signs and wonders. He does everything from cure HIV to High BP. And the Nigerian god is creative: he can teach a person who was born blind the difference between blue and green when the man of god asks, and he can teach a person born deaf instant English. As a worshipper you must let him deliver you because every case of sickness is caused by evil demons and not infections. Every case of barrenness is caused by witches and has no scientific explanation. So instead of hospital, visit agents of the Nigerian god. But the Nigerian god does not cure corruption. Do not attempt to mock him.

If you worship the Nigerian god, you are under no obligation to be nice or kind to people who are not worshippers. They deserve no courtesy.


The Nigerian god is also online. As a worshipper, you are not obliged to be good or decent on Facebook or Twitter all week except on Friday and Sunday, both of which the Nigerian god marks as holy. So you may forward obscene photos, insult people, forward lewd jokes on all days except the holy days. On those holy days, whichever applies to you, put up statuses saying how much you are crazy about God.

These days, the Nigerian god also permits tweets and Facebook updates like: "Now in Church" or "This guy in front of me needs to stop dozing" when performing acts of worship.


In all, the Nigerian god is very kind and accommodating. He gives glory and riches and private jets. And if you worship him well, he will immensely bless u.

Publication from Niger Delta Avengers Web site.

CONGRATS TO ALL STRIKE TEAM OF THE NIGER DELTA AVENGERS.
From the high command of the Niger Delta Avengers we congratulating all strike teams of the Avengers without taking any innocent life or that of the Nigeria military we were able to shut down 50% of crude production.
We have been seeing a lot on the media about us. Some are asking, “Who are you avenging?” some calling us empty heads, ex-agitators have been condemning us on daily basis. Our criticizer from other part of the country, we don’t have any thing to tell you because you clearly don’t know how life is in the region.

To our criticizers from the region we want you to know you are all cowards and afraid to stand for your people.
To ex-agitators of the likes of Tompolo, We know why you people are after us. Our agitation is more civilize than yours the Niger Delta Avengers is more concern with people of Niger Delta unlike you (ex-agitations) that were into kidnapping, killing of Nigeria soldiers, sea pirates, vessel and tanker hijacking. But we were able to carry out all our operations without killing a fly. We havesophisticated arms far better than what you use to have during your kidnapping days.

After the amnesty Programme you (ex-agitators) has been enjoying patronize from the government and royalty from multinational oil companies. While we (Avengers) have been strategizing on how the voice of the Niger Deltans can be heard. we are fighting a radical fight without taking any life.

Lets make it clear, to you our elder brothers (ex-agitators) that we are not begging you to join this agitation. We are young, educated, well traveled and most of us were educated in east Europe but don’t worry when we achieved our goal (sovereign state of Niger Delta) then you people will be proud of us. In as much as we respect you as our elder brothers (ex-agitators) please don’t dare to stand on our way because if you do we will crash you.
To the citizens of the Niger Delta who share same idea with us we thank you all. Just know that no amount of criticism within and outside the region can stop us.
For the record the Niger Delta Avengers is enjoying the blame game going around.

To the Nigeria military the Niger Delta avengers is among you. And we know all your plans so we will always ten steps ahead of you. In our meeting comprising all heads of the strike teams, which was held in Bayelsa. The Niger Delta Avengers high Command comes to the conclusion that, if the military harass or invade any community in the region then you (Nigeria military) will get a feel of the Avengers.
If you smart or intelligent enough you will look inward not outside. We know when you are vulnerable but not take our calmness for granted.
To our brothers from Easterner Nigeria, whom have been condemning and calling us names. The simple fact you are living comfortable doesn’t mean we like you.

The Commander of Strike team 9 of the Niger Delta Avengers is from Eastern Nigeria so no body should limit this struggle to the Ijaws of the Niger Delta only. The leader of the strike team 6 that blew up chevron valve platform is Itsekiri. The Commander of our elite team strike team one is from Akwa Ibom.

So if you are calling us empty heads just know you brothers are part of Niger Delta Avengers as well. Avengers is different from former agitators who limited the struggle to just the Ijaws
To international Oil Companies, this is just the beginning and you have not seen anything yet. We will make you suffer as you have been made the people of Niger deltans suffered over the years from environmental degradation, and environment pollution.

To the President of Nigeria Buhari, we are sure you have not been to the creeks of the Niger delta before and 90% of your cabinets does not know how the region looks like. You think the Niger delta region is full of animals, who are going to frustrate your government. Your government that is not following rule of law, unlawful detention of innocent people just likes of Nnamdi Kanu. All he wanted was to let his people go. Nnamdi kanu didn’t carry any arm against this country but was incarcerated. We want you to know that’s no civilize President will behaves this way. If that is how you devised to run the country we will prefer you do that in the northern region.
When couples are tired of living together to make peace they go their separate ways. That is what Nnamdi kanu and the Niger deltans are asking.
You always say you fought for the unity of this country during the civil war. You haven’t been to the Niger delta, how can you know what the people are facing I believe your Vice will tell how the region is suffering and under developed when he visited the Forcados Terminal. That is if he ever looks out of his helicopter window.

1. Apo Well was award to Sapetro Oil owned by Gen Theophilus Y Danjuma .Apo field is capable of producing 300,000 barrels per day and crude reserve of 500 million barrels.
2. OML 110 Obe oil field own by Alhaji Mai Daribe, Cavendish Petroleum with an estimated 500 million barrel of crude oil that worth $50 billion dollars after tax.
3. Akpo condensate field was awarded to Sapetro Oil owned by Gen Theophilus Y Danjuma. This field worth $100 billions of dollars.
4. OML 112 and OML 117 were awarded to AMNI International Petroleum Development Company owned by Colonel Sanni Bello. Son inlaw to former Head of State. Gen Abdulsalami Abubakar. Its worth $150 Dollars after tax.
5. OML 115 also known as Oldwok field and Ebok field was awarded to Alhaji Mohammed Indimi. Inlaw to former Head of State Gen. Ibrahim Babangida the two fields worth $200 billion Dollars.
6. OML 215 was awarded and operated by Nor East Petroleum Limited owned by one Alhali Saleh Mohammed Gambo. The field worth $100 billion Dollars after tax.
7. OML 108 awarded to Express Petroleum Company owned by Alhaji Aminu Dantata. This field worth $128 billion Dollars.
8. OML 113 was allocated to Yinka Folawiyo Petroleum Limited owned by Alhaji W. I. Folawiyo. Net worth is $150 billion Dollars.
9. Prince Nasiru Ado Bayero cousin to the Emir of Kano, Lamido Sanisu, owns ASUOKPU/UMUTU marginal oil fields. It worth $110 billion Dollars.
10. Inter is owned by Atiku Abubakar, Yara dua and Ado Bayero has a substantial stakes in the oil and gas exploration in the Niger Delta of Nigeria.
11. AMNI International Petroleum Company owns OML 112 and OML 117. Former Minister of Petroleum and OPEC Chairman Rilwanu Lukman has major stakes in AMNI International Petroleum Company.
12. OML 67 is operated Afren Plc. Rilwanu lukman also has a major stakes and the field worth $180 billion Dollars.
13. OPL 245 is awarded to Malabu Oil and Gas owned by Dan Etete. Former President Obasanjo and former Vice President Atiku Abukbakar all has major shares. It worth $50 billion Dollars.
14. OPL 289 and OPL 233 was awarded to Cleanwater Consortium, the two fields worth $200 billion Dollars. Former Governor Peter Odili of River State, Obasanjo and Sultan of Sokoto has major Stakes.
15. OPL 288 was awarded to focus Energy Senator Andy Uba, Obasanjo, and Gen Theophilus Y Danjuma are the major stakeholders. The field worth $70 billion Dollars.
16. OPL 291 was awarded to Starcrest Energy Nigeria Limited owned by Emeka Offor. The field worth $100 billion Dollars.
17. Mike adenuga’s Conoil controls and operates Six (6) oil blocs and exports about 500,000 barrels of crude oil daily. These 6 oil bloc worth $500 billion Dollars.

From our analysis above, 90% oil blocs are allocated to individuals from northern Nigeria and some confused elements from the region are calling the Niger Delta Avengers names, some are calling us criminals. Our question to these groups of individuals calling us names are; where were you when all these atrocities were happening to the people of the Niger Delta? IT’S A PITY.

To owners and operators of these oil blocs in our region the Niger Delta Avengers is giving you two weeks ultimatum to shut down your operations and evacuates your staff. If at the end of the ultimatum and you still operating. We will blow up all the locations. It will be bloody. So just shut down your operations and leave.
There is rumor that oil has been discovered in the North East. How will you feel if this found oil is been managed by Niger Deltans. We are very sure the Niger deltans wont even have 2% oil bloc if oil is really found in the Northeast. If you didn’t shut down we will shut your stations permanently for you.

No agent or representative of the Avengers has called the Minister of State for Petroleum Resources and Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, NNPC, Group Managing Director, Dr. Ibe Kachikwu to threat his life.
To all International Oil Companies, Indigenous Oil Companies and Contractors if anyone called saying there members of Avengers please not listen or take them serious because our ideology and belief is far from that.
Once again on behalf of all the commanders of the avengers strike teams we congratulate our loyal and gallant soldiers who put human life before their targets. On behalf of the Niger Delta people we said congratulation as we have cripple the Nigeria economy by 50% by the grace of God we will make it 100% if our demands are not met soon.
By October 2016 we will display our Currency, Flag, Passport, our ruling Council and our Territory to the world.

To the United Nations, we are not asking for much but to free the people of the Niger Delta from environmental pollution, slavery, and oppression. We want a country that will turn the creeks of the Niger delta to a tourism heaven, a country that will achieve its full potentials, a country that will make health care system accessible by everyone. With Niger delta still under the country Nigeria we can’t make it possible. So we are calling on the Ban Ki-Moon Secretary General United Nations and all Heads of the government of the five Per
manent Security Council members to come to the aid of Niger delta people. We are calling on world leaders to come to the Niger delta to see the atrocities committed by the Nigeria government.

Long Live the Niger delta Avengers.
Long live the Niger Delta region.

Batch A stream 2...if FG and NYSC had done d needful he would have started serving n maybe would have still been alive...smh!

cekhoe:
If his Facebook account was wiped clean, then that should be the first place to start,find a way to get everything thing back or they can contact Facebook to help with restoring the account and start to dig from there,what am I even saying, our police probably has no time for all that as they are too busy collecting #50 from road blocks

on point...so they ve stepped up their game? tot its #20 hmmm Na wa o! they go even tie am for nylon put am for bush side.

Codes151:
.

Bros! There is no money! Either they quit it or u wait till when money dey!

what about d 13billion from Federal govt? #juswondering.

In this context I want to make use of Men nd Boys. The difference is: Men have matured minds n Boys don't but d funniest aspect of it is DAT these boys can be found within any age range.

Go for d Men among d guys if u don't want anyone kissing nd telling on U!!!
#FACT.
#ageisnotabasesformaturity

hmmm! OK am still trying to understand what DAT was all abt anyways can someone pls elaborate on what led to d man' s blindness and HW d Nigerian Army knew d chief Bomb maker.

u r beautiful Miss Linda...so pretty #independentwoman #strongwoman...All her haterz pls go n hug d nearest transformer.

lol! Na wa for some Men sha, dem fit marry d one wey dey jus born today oh...it's wel! yea ladies marry a man at least 5 yrs older cos chances are...He won't turn u into a punching bag but dats still not a bases for marriage DAT will work cos at d end of d day it's maturity DAT counts!!!

oh! what a pity! RIP to d dead.

OPEN LETTER TO THE DIRECTOR GENERAL (DG) NATIONAL YOUTH SERVICE CORPS.
(BY:ALAO JOHN, A CONCERNED PROSPECTIVE CORPS MEMBER)

Dear Sir;

SAVE OUR FUTURE
STOP WASTING OUR PRECIOUS TIME

With due respect to your office and your personality sir, it would be insane of me if I fail to congratulate you on your appointment as the Director General (DG) National Youth Service Corps few months ago by General Muhammadu Buhari (President Federal Republic of Nigeria).
Haven said that, this letter is necessitated and borne out of the untold suffering, heartache and hardship prospective corps members had encountered in the last few months since the beginning of postponement saga.
I felt obliged to tell you sir that " A minute delay can result to a lifetime regret not to talk of spending almost a year at home anticipating for an inconsistent scheme called NYSC.

Sir, many has resigned from the menial work they use to keep the body and soul together with the believe that its about time to serve our Father's land.
What sicken me most is our inability to secure a better employment without NYSC dispatch certificate which is being demanded from us by employers in many organizations and parastatals.
More so,many prospective corps members can not further their education because of this delay.
It is pertinent to let you know that we are being forced to stay idle, and an idle hand they say is the devil's workshop.
Our precious time is being wasted by awaiting an inconsistent system all because of our curiosity and ardent desire to serve our Father's land in humility, patriotism and good faith.
How long shall we continue to wait?
How long shall we continue to hope?
How long shall we continue to anticipate earnestly?
How long shall we be subjected to unwarranted impediment?
Our patience has gotten to its elastic limit.
The hardship in Nigeria is so unbearable for us and it will be inhumane to be punishing the youth and leaders of tomorrow by promising them to continue to wait for what seems to be uncertain and this is not in the best interest of Nigeria graduates.
Sir, we can no longer wait for NYSC to determine the course of our future. As we are awaiting a new date yet to be fixed, it would be another rape on our right as Nigeria graduate if the time frame is so elongated than a week from now.
In lieu with this, as a concerned prospective corps member, I hereby urge and plead the management and staff of National Youth Service Corps headed by your good office to feel our pains and save our future by putting everything in place and in shape so that BATCH A STREAM II corps members can be camped in not more than a week time.
Sir, we know you to be a father and your magnanimous magnanimity is what we expect in this imbroglio in order to save our future because we are the leaders of tomorrow. A timely and urgent intervention is what we crave for.
A STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE

God bless
The Director General
National Youth Service Corps.
God bless
National Youth Service Corps
God bless
Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Thanks
Yours Sincerely
Comrade Alao John.
A prospective corps member and a redefined activist.
Write from the state of sober reflection.
Email: Alaojohn75@gmail.com
Facebook: Comrade Alao John Damilola.

I doubt that text is from them.

funds have been released to NYSC. I doubt that text them cos they have asked PCMs to ignore any emanating rumour of postponement of batch A stream 2. check their fb page...NYSC 2016 service year.

Jacksonville:
Nawa o..I guess it's a result of tribalism ..God see us through ..some people are just naturally wicked and callous.


RIP TO THe dead

exactly d point! Hausa hmmm they enjoy killing so much anyways d man got what he deserved for taking another life. They should learn their lesson because this is what they will keep getting...smh!

hakanai:
^^^^ The dead fellow in the photo was he the killer of the previous victim? If no then the first murderer is set free and the ones that killed this one are now murderers too. If the victim here was the Initial murderer,I will simply say Justice was done.

The fact of the matter is most likely an innocent victim was killed based on the action of another murderer.

yes justice was done because d man in d picture is d first murderer who stabbed a man DAT confronted him to death.

hakanai:
May Allah Grant him mercy and eternal rest. For the family the fortitude to bear the loss. May Allah calm the hearts of men and allow them see what is right and control there temper, that we all will remember our duties to our neighbors and there property.
That day when we stand before the maker and justice is done, our deeds of good shall exceed our evil deeds and by his mercy we share be amongst the righteous,pious and devout.
Amin !!!

Things will get better and I have no doubt Nigeria will get through it. All efforts to provoke, incite or instigate will fall flat and fail to achieve its goal. Some may cry for vengeance but before you do anything remember that for any life you take or any property you destroy Allah will ask you account for It. Be it innocent or guilty! It is also stated we all shall taste death and If it comes what matters is are you prepared. If you are then you should know everything is alright. His time has come and ours shall come too.

As such we should calm ourselves at this time and let the authorities do there job.

pls tell DAT to d Hausa/Fulani who incites trouble n walk around with all manner of knives looking for who to butcher.

IRserveMyComent:
just carry your bed and go and lie down if you have nothing reasonable to say. Was it the self aclaimed messiah that told the hausa man to stab the aba man. I wonder where you left your brain.

they r doing this because it's Buhari in power.

Quakertellicus1:
Sad

I think the real problem here is simple.

Nigerians do not trust the law enforcement agencies to do a good job prosecuting evildoers.

See....the hausa man that stabbed the Ibo guy could have just been held and arrested by the Police, who would have charged him to court for assault with a deadly weapon. Court imposes the requisite sentence, everyone goes home happy....and lessons are learned.

But in Nigeria....due to several factors including lack of judges,poor law enforcement, overcrowded prisons,and prsioners being set free on bail,as well as perceived, actual,and imaginary unfairness.....most Nigerians do not trust the Law.

Instead...we would rather carry fists and stones to attack innocent people who know nothing about the crime.

This is not just a problem in Aba....it has happened across the country.

Our Law enforcement agencies need to sit up.....and they need more funding,more personnel,and more training.

And for anyone rejoicing over this violence....know that that is how investors are chased away. If investors percieve that an area is violent...they won't come.That is why the North is underdeveloped....as are many other parts of Nigeria.Abia state needs to do better by everyone.

This is not an issue of law enforcement o! it is anger! since the FUlanis think they can behave as they wish because northern governors are backing them up, it is also wise for everyone to stand n protect their territories joor! this pple needs to b taught a lesson! what about all those pple killed in Enugu? did even 1 Fulani die there.

sick northern govs. with their many wives! mtchewwwww av finally confirmed DAT same God never really created us n those #bloodsuckingdemons

shiki:
Victims OR victim?

what's d meaning of DAT n yes there r victims n even if it's jus a victim tell me what right does the Fulanis have to slaughter n and attack pple all over. Those dirty and smelly pple yuck! so heartless! honestly av always wondered whether we came into this world thru same God mtchewwwww!

everyone seems to know d exact problems of every sector of our economy so y don't u start implementing the solutions instead of reminding us...smh.

oh OK u made a point. yep! change has come. I was actually wondering HW dis is news until I calmly read d whole piece anyways I hope they increase corper' s allowed real soon.

heeey! there is nothing one will not see abi hear! Na wa o but which one b West African Christian mission ? av not heard of them. 14M? when some pple r seriously hungry, as for d thieves I reserve my comment since they are already facing the rot of the law.

ify84:
Yes, she can.... By sitting round a table, ask him his does and don't.... Then, (carrying ur cross) u the woman live according to how he wants it....

Even wen u don't like his law, u close eyes, adjust

really?

To God be d glory.

Na wa o! mtchewwwww! I even got they were abt to say allowance will b increased before this batch A will even get to camp.