Anyone else in the same situation?

After 3 years together, marriage, and a lictte girl at 1.5years, we will now be apart for at least 6months, maybe one full year. We will maintain contact via phone, facebook and skype..

No papers involved in this decision, it was even my idea.
He has lived in Europe for 13 years now, and only been home four times. Last year we went to his country for 2 months, that was his first time in four years..
I strongly believe it will be good for his soul, heart and mind to go home for some time now. He will go to school, go out with his cows, and fix our house.
I am moving home to my own family, and will use this chance to save up money to go after him later on.
I will go down there to go to school myself, and spend at least one year there, maybe more.

We are doing this for our future, but still, it broke my heart to see him go through the airport today, and know that I will not hold my husband for a long, long time.

We chose it ourself, but it still pains. My daughter was saying "baba" as she was falling a sleep..

How do others keep up the spirit??

when white people marry, its a golden rule for the marriage to not last more than 2-3 years. .

PAGAN 9JA:
when white people marry, its a golden rule for the marriage to not last more than 2-3 years. .

Very unnecesary!

chaircover: I am trying to understand the reasons why you both decided to be apart for 6 months up to a year and the fact why you are moving back home rather staying in your own marital home. I know you mention financial reasons, but isnt the point of leaving home in the first instance and getting married is because you are both ready to stand on your both 2 feet.

Anyway what is done is done and I wish you both the best of luck. Keep the flame alive by communicating as much as possible. It is well.

The biggest reason is finance, yes. I was young and stupid, and got some debt, among other things from going to school. We wish to buy a house in two-three years, and first we wish to live together in Gambia for at least one year. For that to happen, I have to pay off everything, and also save up much money as well.
Living in a rented apartment in Norway takes almost 3/4 of your paycheck..in my parents house, I will live free.

He needs more education to be able to get a job as what he wishes for in Norway; a translater. The cost of going to school there compared to Norway is 1/10 of the price..

I do believe our marriage is strong enough to handle all this, with no doubt in my mind. We are thinking five years a head doing this, instead of only 6months ahead.
We wish to start our own business in Norway as well, so all this is leading up to some very important things in the future.
One tough year, for having many good years later on..

And yes, I plan to call him at least once every day, and also use skype so he can see us

PAGAN 9JA:
when white people marry, its a golden rule for the marriage to not last more than 2-3 years. .

We have already been married 3 years. Even though this is un-called for, I understand your point. 47% of marriages in Norway dont even last five years. People give up too easy, in my opinion. That does not mean that I am like that.

And, I was asking for advices and experience, not comments about white peoples marriages.

PAGAN 9JA:
when white people marry, its a golden rule for the marriage to not last more than 2-3 years. .

@op...it takes real bravery and commitment 2 put up with those absentee-ness...do u couples actually love eachother?

PAGAN 9JA:
when white people marry, its a golden rule for the marriage to not last more than 2-3 years. .

What heck of a rule are you talking about ?

U are doing all dis because of material achievemts. But u ,ve 4goten dat u are nt in total control of ur lives.

Jallow,

good on you to make plans for the future. I hope it all works out well.

Is he going to learn to translate from English-Norwegian and Eng-Norw. in Gambia?

But there are some things we can't control. Being out of sight for a man can bring temptations, if you know what i mean. I picture your man as an under 40 young man returning home for sometime. Hmmmmm.......... Very much in demand!
This is not just your man. Any man.

If I was in your position, I would make sure I can visit him every 3 months and stay around 10 days. At 1.5 years, your child will go for free.

Having said that, I was away from my woman for a couple of years AND it went well. Well, I was in Europe working hard (I had time for nothing else), she was in Africa. I had many temptations. It was difficult. Most men wouldn't have been able. Hope your man is just one of those very very few who can.
Good luck.

Just brace up for eventualities. African ways are definitely different especially on African soil. Don't be surprised that the "cows" are more of value than your great dreams, no offence meant.

my dear at certain points in our lives for us to progress, sacrifices have to be made, i know people who have lived apart,usually when one is still studying or for some other reason and i'm sure it cant be easy but they make it work somehow.
As long as you keep your eyes on the prize, you know why you have taken such a decision and you can defend it , then may the lord be your strength.

Unless your hubby is highly principled,focused and a committed praying xtian,u will regret it.distractions and distractors will replace u and same applies to u.

If you really believe in your future plans, 6 months is a little price to pay. Just turn all your energy and passion to offsetting the debt and before you know it its 6 months.

obi123: my dear at certain points in our lives for us to progress, sacrifices have to be made, i know people who have lived apart,usually when one is still studying or for some other reason and i'm sure it cant be easy but they make it work somehow.
As long as you keep your eyes on the prize, you know why you have taken such a decision and you can defend it , then may the lord be your strength.

encouraging.

maybe brick and lace were not wrong when the said that love is wicked.

Na wa 4 dis trend o,if u av even decided 2 live 15yrs witout ur spouse,wat has dat got 2 do wit us nairalanders,........has it reduced d price of fuel in d market?.....mtchewww,abeg find beta 'tori yan us jare.

Op look for sumbodi to b sha.gging u.. Body no b wood

WAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE...

PAGAN 9JA:
when white people marry, its a golden rule for the marriage to not last more than 2-3 years. .

Must u make fun of every issue Kiddy?

Well is not easy bt u can survive it only by making sure that communication line is widely open. I got married 5yrs ago but had only spent like 1yr wt my wife. It depend on the man and the woman both of are, like I said ealier comm. is very immportant. Good luck.

@poster, I would like to encourage you. My husband and I lived apart for one year. Shortly after the wedding, I got full schlorship to study abroad which was what we both longed for. Then I found out I was pregnant and that didn't stop us either. I had our baby abroad while studying. We ensured we called and mailed each other daily. Skype really helped too. I was able to secure a better job shortly after my return and I must confess to you that we've never regretted taking that decision. Between, he is a God-fearing man and loves me dearly. Being apart for a while is one of those sacrifices we sometimes have to make to move ahead.

.

This is inspiring. Poster, you are making the right decision. Planning for the future takes a giant leap of faith. You are not alone in this, many of us share similar dreams and challenges. My fiancee is also leaving for the UK in a couple of months for a 2 years study. And I am sure that its not going to be easy staying far off from the man she loves dearly and me from the woman I lust, love and cherish. I am sure the thought and plans of the future will keep us sane, just as I hope it will keep you and your husband sane too. Love is all there is.

ooseven:

So the only things that matter to you are those that reduce the price of fuel, garri, recharge card or whatever mundane thing that you use as your measure of value. There are people who might benefit from the advice proffered here. If you don't like a topic, move on to the next instead of spewing bullsh*t. I sincerely despise your type.

you even get tym to reply d hippopotamus....

Ur marriage will never be the same again. I did same thing and it wrecked mine. Even if dsnt wreck urs, it will never be as it was. Ur place his by ur man's side. If he is goin 2 iraq 2 learn knittin, follow him. The experience for u and ur daughter shall be invaluable. Dats the true meanin of "for better, for worse". If u r not by him, someone else will. If u think that person will be temporary and she gets pregnant nko? Ever thought ur husband might suddenly see things in a thoroug-hbred african girl that he cherishes and can't let go? Ever heard 2 juju? U might av opened ur door 2 a divorce or polygamy. Better pack ur bads a follow him. Comfort is where the heart is!

PS: whoever adviced u 2 visit him every 3months is clearly daft. If u could afford that, u won't be movin back home.

flexya: Ur marriage will never be the same again. I did same thing and it wrecked mine. Even if dsnt wreck urs, it will never be as it was. Ur place his by ur man's side. If he is goin 2 iraq 2 learn knittin, follow him. The experience for u and ur daughter shall be invaluable. Dats the true meanin of "for better, for worse". If u r not by him, someone else will. If u think that person will be temporary and she gets pregnant nko? Ever thought ur husband might suddenly see things in a thoroug-hbred african girl that he cherishes and can't let go? Ever heard 2 juju? U might av opened ur door 2 a divorce or polygamy. Better pack ur bads a follow him. Comfort is where the heart is!

PS: whoever adviced u 2 visit him every 3months is clearly daft. If u could afford that, u won't be movin back home.

Sorry, about your loss. It will take you a while to recover, cos its like you are still suffering the after effects. No two marriages are the same. I advise you pocket the negativity and encourage the poster.

THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH,,,,PRAY PRAY AND PRAY FOR UR HUSBAND AND URSELF

I'm no expert on family matters, but even with the financial factors involved, I don't think this is a wise choice.