Hello All,

It is commonly said that in marriage, it is not only 2 people coming together, but their 2 families. So when you marry a man and you become part of his family. In some situations, you might have to live with them or they come to live with you:

1. How long could you live with your inlaws?
2. How long could they live with you and which ones?

I personally don't mind living with my inlaws for 1 or 2 years before moving out with my husband though my preferred situation would be to just get our own place right after marriage. However, I understand things are not always ready made and we might have to save up for our own place. Other circumstances might also require him to stay with his family for a while. When we do get our own place, I don't mind his mother and father coming to VISIT for a few months (like no more than 6 months) with the intention of leaving. That is if they are healthy and don't need us to take care of them. Same applies to my own parents. When I have a baby especially, it would be nice to have his mother or my mother (or both) come to stay for the first few months, and then leave. I actually would like the grandmothers to come from time to time (maybe every year) for a few months at a time. This would give them enough time with their grandchildren and my husband and I will also have privacy the months they are not there. However, for siblings, I personally would not prefer them to live with us permanently. They are definitely more than welcome to come for a short vacation, but not stay. If they have to stay permanently for a legitimate reason such as school, or loss of job ok. But I would expect them to either contribute financially and help with house chores so they don't get too lazy and aimless.
So basically:

1. I don't mind living with my hubby's people as long as it's less than 2 years. MAYBE 3 if they are people who don't give me trouble.
2. His parents or my parents can come live with us TEMPORARILY for less than 6 months unless they are sick, which they can stay permanently and maybe I can pay someone to come in to help me with their care.
3. His siblings and mine can only come for vacations (no more than 3 months) unless they are in a circumstance where they need to stay for longer periods.
4. As for nieces and nephews (rule 3 applies to them as well)
5. For all other family rule 3 applies.

I am willing to be flexible with these things, but sometimes you need to put your foot down b/c some relatives will take advantage if you are too nice. It's nice to have family around, but there needs to be a limit to everything b/c it is better for your marriage and so you can your spouse can plan your life financially. Some relatives can become too dependent on one person especially the oldest male child

You said it all, goodluck.
But don't be surprised if your view changes few months/years after marriage.

bump

Not to long but it really depends, some families are different from others when it comes to them getting along and being with each other but in general not to long because you can starting getting in each others space and cause negativity at times, unless you have no choice temporarily I guess but in the long run not to long just so you and your spouse can grow as a married couple.