1supremo: We are Nigerians; we live on the sky in the shadows of the earth. We are good people; after all we are very religious, only our attitudes let us down sometimes. Our heads are nicely capped with Italian shoes and our gloved feet are elegantly shod with bowler hats. Now, aren’t we perfect ladies and gentlemen?

We spend significant years of our lives struggling to outdo one another in a bid to get university education (my struggles paid off after four JAMB UMEs). Our universities have a record of successfully educating us till we attain imbecility; then we are churned out. Decades after graduation, we aren’t gainfully employed and we ask “Why?” the insensitive employers retort with the trite “We need no imbeciles in our establishments.” Trust us, we yell back at them: who are they to slight what we paid for?

We are yet to understand the rationale behind some of our government’s actions, although we know overall, our government is populace-centric. We always wonder why our policemen down south are armed with guns that only accidentally discharge when law-abiding citizens disagree with them over money issues: our unanimous inference is that our government must have inadvertently equipped them with bellicose guns that have vampirical proclivities. We don’t blame either party; after all, “Police is Your Friend” is a universal truth. Will our friends kill us over trivias? No! Won't they be lonely upon our demise? Now, we all know that nobody enjoys loneliness, or are they reclusive? Very unlikely. We just have to blame the guns.

A terrorist group up north is perpetrating wanton decimation of our Police Force: they have made them an endangered species. Recent activities reveal that some policemen down south who have been posted up north to protect us from these terrorists are scheming to effect rescissions of their transfer. Is this not a cue for the civilian population to take up the challenge of protecting the police? Our police force needs to tell us first.

Our good government teaches us timeless values. Frequent power outage is the way of reminding us that God created night and day; a balance that must never be upset as a slight imbalance could be calamitous; although most times the lesson we learn is that, “Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining” (our power outage most times attain an uninterrupted status, briefly truncated for minutes per day). Our not-portable roads are meant to teach us that “The Road to Greatness is Not Smooth”. We are good people in this great nation. The hoarding of the nation’s resources is how our security is ensured- we don’t entertain fears of armed robbery attacks. Who will rob a poor person? By looting the resources of our nation, our good leaders make themselves susceptible to muggers in their bid to keep the populace secure. We appreciate their sacrifice and I recommend them for deification: they bear our sins for us. Don't you agree with me?

We do not check our population growth conventionally; we believe it is unethical to deny babies the privileges of taking some whiff of space into their lungs- we are a people with scruples. However, our humanitarian government compensates whoever takes the initiative to send some of us to “The Land Where We Never Grow Old”: MEND militants are on a Salary-For-Life and scholarship scheme; Boko Haram is soon to follow. Here’s a simple question for the unemployed, baccalaureate-waving fraction of the populace who are always taking on our good government; what have you done for your country? We challenge you to take a cue from the afore-mentioned groups and your efforts will not be unrewarded. Hasn’t our government been silently screaming this message all along?

Anomaly is our way of life here; however, we become aberrant when our “thinking shoes” malfunction or when we impulsively unshod our heads, uncap our feet and swap our shoes’ positions with our cap’s; then, we become perverted and see things in a new light, and only then do we agree with Chinua Achebe’s book title, “Things Fall Apart”- that’s our modus operandi.

1supremo: We are Nigerians; we live on the sky in the shadows of the earth. We are good people; after all we are very religious, only our attitudes let us down sometimes. Our heads are nicely capped with Italian shoes and our gloved feet are elegantly shod with bowler hats. Now, aren’t we perfect ladies and gentlemen?

We spend significant years of our lives struggling to outdo one another in a bid to get university education (my struggles paid off after four JAMB UMEs). Our universities have a record of successfully educating us till we attain imbecility; then we are churned out. Decades after graduation, we aren’t gainfully employed and we ask “Why?” the insensitive employers retort with the trite “We need no imbeciles in our establishments.” Trust us, we yell back at them: who are they to slight what we paid for?

We are yet to understand the rationale behind some of our government’s actions, although we know overall, our government is populace-centric. We always wonder why our policemen down south are armed with guns that only accidentally discharge when law-abiding citizens disagree with them over money issues: our unanimous inference is that our government must have inadvertently equipped them with bellicose guns that have vampirical proclivities. We don’t blame either party; after all, “Police is Your Friend” is a universal truth. Will our friends kill us over trivias? No! Won't they be lonely upon our demise? Now, we all know that nobody enjoys loneliness, or are they reclusive? Very unlikely. We just have to blame the guns.

A terrorist group up north is perpetrating wanton decimation of our Police Force: they have made them an endangered species. Recent activities reveal that some policemen down south who have been posted up north to protect us from these terrorists are scheming to effect rescissions of their transfer. Is this not a cue for the civilian population to take up the challenge of protecting the police? Our police force needs to tell us first.

Our good government teaches us timeless values. Frequent power outage is the way of reminding us that God created night and day; a balance that must never be upset as a slight imbalance could be calamitous; although most times the lesson we learn is that, “Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining” (our power outage most times attain an uninterrupted status, briefly truncated for minutes per day). Our not-portable roads are meant to teach us that “The Road to Greatness is Not Smooth”. We are good people in this great nation. The hoarding of the nation’s resources is how our security is ensured- we don’t entertain fears of armed robbery attacks. Who will rob a poor person? By looting the resources of our nation, our good leaders make themselves susceptible to muggers in their bid to keep the populace secure. We appreciate their sacrifice and I recommend them for deification: they bear our sins for us. Don't you agree with me?

We do not check our population growth conventionally; we believe it is unethical to deny babies the privileges of taking some whiff of space into their lungs- we are a people with scruples. However, our humanitarian government compensates whoever takes the initiative to send some of us to “The Land Where We Never Grow Old”: MEND militants are on a Salary-For-Life and scholarship scheme; Boko Haram is soon to follow. Here’s a simple question for the unemployed, baccalaureate-waving fraction of the populace who are always taking on our good government; what have you done for your country? We challenge you to take a cue from the afore-mentioned groups and your efforts will not be unrewarded. Hasn’t our government been silently screaming this message all along?

Anomaly is our way of life here; however, we become aberrant when our “thinking shoes” malfunction or when we impulsively unshod our heads, uncap our feet and swap our shoes’ positions with our cap’s; then, we become perverted and see things in a new light, and only then do we agree with Chinua Achebe’s book title, “Things Fall Apart”- that’s our modus operandi.

Drunk: Thought provoking piece and realistic, the irony of this is that the present day youth are just lost in the space of social networks and vague pursue of fantasies. It’s easy for anyone here to read, login and comment “beautiful write-up” the fact is that the earlier the Nigerian youth wake up to the realities fast approaching that the country’s future is bleak with the no-idea leaders we often come online to chant their praise and we barely know (I mean thorough study) who they are, their background, the good and bad sides they have. We jump into quick “emotional” conclusion to say some crazy old rag is best for Nigeria. Do we really care to read in-between lines and realize that we need to act and stop ranting online? Of course, someone would hastily say, it’s not my business, I can’t leave my work for some crazy sh!t protest/uprising. Need not worry, when the country finally becomes what the selfish leaders we have want it to become, then you would have plenty of time to lament and cry. We have armed forces, police and whatever their duty is to protect lives and property being paid monthly salaries from the coffers of the nation’s treasury and yet insecurity grows fast like a wildfire. Someone should take a daring tour round the troubled states of the North and see how police stations have become shrines “inaccessible” sandbags everywhere, barricades road diversion and closure etc…they worry for the own lives than those of the citizenry they are PAID to protect. I know someone would say, why not? When they are being killed every day by Boko Haram! I also have a question; did I start the whole Boko Haram war/insurgency? Hell No! I wasn’t the police that was too hasty to shoot Muhammed Yusuf the Boko Haram leader after he was caught “for leading an unlawful group” and was supposed to be taken to a court of law for trial. I am not a policeman, I am in no way related to them but yet I am also endangered because of the actions of their trigger itchy colleague. Another question; was the policeman tried? Sounds funny, we don’t even know the policeman that did that. Enough said, the government does not care if you are trying to survive legitimately or seek contracts legitimately. I sell this idea to anyone that cares, make one state sleepless for not less than a week and make a press statement claiming responsibility and the make another state sleepless for yet another week and make another press statement. I bet you, you would be a VIP guest to aso rock and if you care being to, be listed on the billions of dollar amnesty program. Nigeria is now a country that only criminality is a recognized and legal profession and you become the next billionaire. Read the message inline the post and not just admire the lyrical eloquence.

rash47: Nothing new here, d usual rantings from Nlanders

10 over 10: A nation with undying love for failure..

make one state sleepless for not less than a week and make a press statement claiming responsibility and the make another state sleepless for yet another week and make another press statement. I bet you, you would be a VIP guest to aso rock and if you care being to, be listed on the billions of dollar amnesty program. Nigeria is now a country that only criminality is a recognized and legal profession and you become the next billionaire.

AjanleKoko: Can't we be original at least?
This always happens: Someone writes some article, and everybody lines up and goes 'This is great! You're fantastic!'

AjanleKoko: Can't we be original at least?
This always happens: Someone writes some article, and everybody lines up and goes 'This is great! You're fantastic!'

lastpage: Exactly, l was trying to be "original" and did not want to say what everybody has been saying!

I hope that was "original enough"?

"A rose by whatever name it is called, will still smell as sweet".

Where is that "like button" sef?


@Drunk:
Except that you did not paragraph your work (Just like 1stsupremo!), l think you are trying to tell us something!
Its true but it takes a drunk to actually understand how true!

I guess l am drunk, cant find the "like button" again!

Lastpage!

Temistatics 007: I always want to write nice piece like this,infact i love literature,why was i not a literature student?damn!
@OP,nice job