For those of you who have left the nest, relocated to some other part of the country outside Nigeria.

Why do some Nigerians abandon their family members after migrating to the Diaspora?
Regardless of the initial reasons why some Nigerians migrated to the America, Europe etc. (school, work, etc.), some have not turned around to visit their folks.
Maybe it began with "Oh, I'll visit after my studies, then after I get my papers, then when I go home to marry, etc.", but somehow the years have multiplied and the visit has become a faded memory.

I'm sure there are reasons various reasons why this happens and some may think sending their folks money every now and then is sufficient, but for the parents who feel abandoned 'the reasons why' may not be forthcoming or transparent.

Parents who have not seen and sometimes not heard from their offsprings in over 10 or even 20 years may begin to wonder if their children are dead, in jail, lost, have migrated elsewhere, stopped loving or caring for them, etc. Some parents have even aged just from anxiety, is it fair to them? What answer would one have for such parents when they inquire about their long lost offsprings?

Granted not everyone can afford to visit as often as they or their family members might like, but is it simply 'a lack of will, that's impeding a way', or are there other valid reasons? Or is it a case of too many excuses lumped together and grown into a reason?

Family abandonment is not part of our culture, are we simply adapting to the prevailing attitudes in our new countries of residence at the expense of our cultural practices or are there other more valid reasons?

Settling abroad is no reason to abandon your parents/family, but it is a reality that's occurring, no matter how infrequent.

I can understand the point about escaping demands from those who don't understand one's disposition, especially non/non-immediate relatives. Sometimes avoiding such may be justified. I can also understanding a few years of absence, but how does one justify abandoning their own parents/spouses and sometimes children for prolonged periods of time?

You'll be surprised to know some people have never been home in over 10+ or even 20+ years, NOR have they arranged for their parents to visit them, in which case they have NOT seen such family members for a very long stretch.

Except their disposition has not changed since their arrival, and considering laws are just beginning to change one can only wonder. Also, some were abroad during amnesty and other such pardons and 'may' have taken advantage if they lacked proper documentation prior to such opportunities, so such people must have other reasons.

Family members on the other sides of the continents can only wonder why also. I'm sure this is not peculiar to Nigerians, even if it is a minor occurrence, but our cultures differ, and for Nigerians its unusual, but growing.

It seems like some people in their quest to get over their negative experiences, forget that when they chose to abandon their country, they are also abandoning the people close to them.

I think this subject matter is worth exploring, and maybe the reasons revealed may lead to solutions for those presently in such predicaments. Any and all feedback would definitely be appreciated

Thank you.
DotCom

front page front page front page

Interesting!! Some of us are very passionate about Nigeria matters and the first thing we do with our computers is Naija news... As per calling I must say I do