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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Culture / Culture Of Disrespect (2641 Views)
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Culture Of Disrespect by pheesayor(m): 7:14am On Sep 22, 2012 |
I want to talk about a matter of national importance. Do read on and you will see what I mean. We have a deep culture of respect in Africa. Every young person is expected to defer to adults. This has been since the caveman days in Africa. It has been drummed into us that we should respect our elders. Unfortunately, this has been our undoing. How, you ask ? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by Nobody: 10:00am On Sep 22, 2012 |
We need a... culture where young people are free to air their minds and iron out issues with adults. After all , adults are human beings and they also make mistakes. Being an adult shouldn’t give you immunity against correction. COSIGN!! |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by Nobody: 10:39am On Sep 22, 2012 |
I am in total agreement with u. I am one ''lil un'' in particular who loves to argue, politely of course with my parents, elders, and other people who are required to mentor me. I love to debate, and question them and I have to confess they do not appreciate it most of the time but it definately serves as a wakeup call to them in the attaining and application of true knowledge. But my only objection is ur labelling it as ''culture of disrespect''. It sounds kind of saucy. Mind u questioning and reasonably argueing are very different from disrespecting. Lots of white kids disrepect their parents by calling them by their first names, senselessly disobeying them, shouting at them,walking out on them etc.. Yes there should be freedom but there should also be discipline. You can critise without being rude. So instead of calling it a ''culture of disrespect, I would rather call it a ''culture of free reason''. |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by ifyalways(f): 10:56am On Sep 22, 2012 |
We can see where the culture of freedom has led the west to. . . There just should be a balance. In an ideal African setting,a child might not be able to talk back at,air his or her opinions to the dad but the mom is easily accessible and available.Btw,once a son attains puberty,he becomes a man in the eyes of his dad.his opinions are sought(might not be taken),he is shown the families inheritances and ancient landmark,groomed to be a man/father/defender and dame goes for a girl child that attains puberty albeit with the mom. Now that's our fine African culture. .don't confuse that with what is obtained today. 1 Like |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by pheesayor(m): 12:59pm On Sep 22, 2012 |
ifyalways: We can see where the culture of freedom has led the west to. . .copying the west has come to stay I must say, however what we need is a balance. Already kids and youths know that adults are not always right but most adults still behave arrogantly, this can be seen in even political leaders and its not helping us. |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by ifyalways(f): 1:25pm On Sep 22, 2012 |
In a normal African setting,parents and indeed elders accord respect to kids BUT that is after the kid has attained the age of maturity,know their right from their left,have generally grown. You earn their respect and right to talk,it's not just given to you cos some folks says it's "your fundamental human right" In contrast and in the West,a child is expected to talk anyhow and make decisions for him or herself just because he's a human being and have mouth,regardeless of if he's being rude,or saying things that makes no sense. I hope you'll spot the difference. Arrogance is an individual thing.An arrogant young man would make an arrogant dad,west or east. 1 Like |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by MrsChima1(f): 2:31pm On Sep 22, 2012 |
There is a difference between expressing yourself and opinions and speaking back. Speaking back refers to a child undermining the adult when orders are given. A conversation between a child and adult should be neutral base for example, allowing a child to express how they feel without consequence usually improves the child/parent relationship. Enforcing fear in a child as a baby usually work but as the child becomes their own person...it leads to rebellion. We have to remember these children will end up our caregiver as we become elders. It is important to know what is on your child mind so that you can correct anything imperfect and guide with correction. Someone said that the West have corrupted how parents and children interacts with each other. I disagree wholeheartedly many Westerners have adopted the "African mentality" regarding to parenting and often time do not allow their children to speak their mind and opinions. Many children then run into the streets because they no longer feel safe in the home and doesn't have a safe person to talk so they resort into gang violence, become runaways, and consorting with unhealthy adults who do not give a rat arse about these children. There are different methods of raising children and EACH CHILD IS DIFFERENT...there is no such thing as a standard method of raising children...you have to know your child and customize to what is appropriate to them. 1 Like |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by ifyalways(f): 3:02pm On Sep 22, 2012 |
I agree that there's a difference between talking back (rude) and talking with freely (conversation) between parent-child but I believe that there still is a relationship btw the 2. if not properly handled, a conversation btw dad and son can lead to the son talking back at the dad someday, yes?. There should be a line, a point whereby the child knows that no matter what s/he can't cross. There should be parent child relationship but by all means,please let the child know that the parents still makes the decision.the fact that your opinions are sought or considered in matters does not make you equals with your parents. The bottomline like I said earlier is finding a balance. Both systems of parenting have lots of pros and cons. Lastly, this might sound ridiculous but I believe every child should have a degree of "fear" for the parents. Fear does not mean respect, I know that already. 1 Like |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by Nobody: 4:15pm On Sep 22, 2012 |
inurmind: I am in total agreement with u. gbam!! i don't know the quote, but isnt there a saying in the bible that sometimes wisdom comes in the form of a child? (or something like that ) hinting that sometimes the youth REALLY need to be heard and have plenty to offer. Look at how western Europe and even America has changed. Only 30 years ago there was widespread segregation, s3xism, violation of civil rights; etc. Now although some of the above still occur simply because you can't change everyone, they are no longer justified by LAW because the youth decided to make the change. I agree with the Op, disrespect goes both ways. Respect should be the culture, and that means adults acknowledging and respecting the youth too. |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by Nobody: 4:17pm On Sep 22, 2012 |
Mrs..Chima: |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by Nobody: 11:42pm On Sep 22, 2012 |
Thank you for that write-up Opemipo!! That's my biggest problem with the Yoruba culture!! |
Re: Culture Of Disrespect by Ptolomeus(m): 10:29pm On Sep 24, 2012 |
pheesayor: Friend I understand what you say, and you are quite right. Would only tell that in Western reality, children as young as three years yell at their parents beat them, they choose what they want to eat and otherwise scream and break things. The "do not contradict the children, they can suffer psychological damage" is something that will do great harm to society. Possibly are extreme, and all extremes are bad. My respects. |
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