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Re: My Poetry by UjSizzle(f): 9:01pm On Mar 12, 2013 |
poeticjustic: well, I didn't quite get a hold on the first piece, either 'cos of its depth or lack of it. idk. the second Is cool tho ever heard of a killer with a conscience? Try picture an epic war movie |
Re: My Poetry by poeticjustic(m): 9:17pm On Mar 12, 2013 |
@uj_sizzle, thanks for the insight. Quite clear now. |
Re: My Poetry by kq(m): 1:42am On Mar 13, 2013 |
vescucci: I must warn you, dear reader, that my poems veer towards the dark. Even when I write about love, there's a piercing melancholy about it. This is because I believe sadness is the deepest and one of the purest emotions. Sadness can be beautiful. Apologies in advance. And please, feel free to critique. This is the reason for posting them. And of course the perverse need for validation that humans are afflicted with Sadness can be beautiful, deep and pure.....Word my dear man....Word |
Re: My Poetry by Nobody: 7:17am On Mar 13, 2013 |
really really nice.(now going straight to literature forum to search for more.) |
Re: My Poetry by Eklektika(m): 8:37am On Mar 13, 2013 |
@ op, ur lines r gud n succint. I like d 2nd poem especially. Keep it up,dude. |
Re: My Poetry by Tinkybabe(f): 11:35am On Mar 13, 2013 |
I have always found poets interesting.They possess this sort of deep,latent and inconspicuous knowledge that is made manifest in their works.They see things beyond the scope of normal beings and mould them into words.They are critical thinkers that use their mastery art of writing to capture their readers.POETS are amazing! I wish I could be one. Good work,op! |
Re: My Poetry by kay9(m): 11:57am On Mar 13, 2013 |
^^U cab be one; anyone can. It starts with just one verse. U'll never know what u can do until u try. U have good diction, by the way. |
Re: My Poetry by lonipeter(m): 4:03pm On Mar 13, 2013 |
sino: Good, your first poem, the use of word(s) at the end of a verse to begin another verse interests me, is there any literature's vocabulary for it? and @op The literary device of starting successive lines of poems with word(s) that end the preceding lines is called 'ANADIPLOSIS', I use it quite often. See the last stanza of my December 31st 2011 poem- '2011' below Now I'm getting excited As the minutes tickle into seconds Waiting for the end The end to the year's tempest Half singing, half dancing Dancing in Anxiety Anxiety for the birth The birth of a new year New year and it's resolutions The resolutions and their challenges Challenges to all my hopes Hopes to my Aspirations Aspirations for all round fulfilment Fulfilment of my dreams Dreams lingering from yester-years Years of my plight Now coming to light 3 Likes |
Re: My Poetry by Esinwaju: 4:46pm On Mar 13, 2013 |
lonipeter:Guy I swear you sabi lecture pass those sadists wey dey our tertiary institution. Awesome brevity. 1 Like |
Re: My Poetry by amiskurie(m): 5:43pm On Mar 13, 2013 |
I fear to loosing my poems to the internet world. @op hw do you claim its yours in future when everyone had it?..I've been keeping my best away from the internet sha. |
Re: My Poetry by amiskurie(m): 5:45pm On Mar 13, 2013 |
lonipeter:Whaaaaaat! |
Re: My Poetry by Ayoobscom(m): 6:10pm On Mar 13, 2013 |
Aesthetic I mean the war hound but the second one about life is just to simple...avoid simplicity in your poetry...nevertheless..I say keep writing Poetry is my lucrative hubby |
Re: My Poetry by JeSoul(f): 7:10pm On Mar 15, 2013 |
Nice Vesc! good to see you 'back' and about... Funny...I scarcely have anything but a happy-campy-all-is-fine-and-dandy image of you - so to see this darkside 'veering' is a bit of a treat . Very nice flow, simple & to the point. Likes!!! |
Re: My Poetry by Tinkybabe(f): 8:12am On Mar 16, 2013 |
kay9: ^^U cab be one; anyone can. It starts with just one verse. U'll never know what u can do until u try. Awww, thank you! . |
Re: My Poetry by vescucci(m): 10:46am On Mar 18, 2013 |
Sisi_Kill: Awwww! Vesc. . . this is lovely! Why, thank you! Flytefalls: I love this. Melancholy often fills the gaps. Thanks e-talker: Haha, I'm not that dark but then this is not my darkest work. Thanks all the same Esin waju: Brilliant. Especially the one about life. I relate with you on that one cos presently I'm faced with a situation and your poem captures it perfectly and you were more rhyme concious on this one, that I find very appealing as a rap afficionado lol. Thanks dude. Glad you enjoyed them Orikinla: Good poetry. Thank you Sir. Coming from you, that is high praise. talk2s: This poem helps reminisce the good old days: when the beauty of art was given its pride of place; I feel you. Thanks a lot Nickydrake: Vescucci, reading your work is always a treat. Believe it or not, i spent a good amount of time poring over your satires over at Naijastories (that was the only time i ever used the site). The piece on cursíng was especially entralling. Thanks a whole lot. You of all made my day ariblaze: interesting ... i like Lol. I don't even know what to say. I have darker stories. There's stuff I'm working on sha. How have you been? Long time bruv kay9: ^^ Blazeman... Where u been, mate? Kay baba! Yeah, I have some more. I'll post some more shortly but the rest of my stuff is on my blog. I'll post that too amiskurie: I fear to loosing my poems to the internet world. If you plan on making money, I guess it's best not to post them on the internet. But this is just a hobby for me. Good luck JeSoul: Nice Vesc! good to see you 'back' and about... Looool. I have actually posted these poems since about half a year ago. i dunno who resurrected them. It's nice to get the comments though. How have you been? You have mail btw Apologies to anyone I have missed. I appreciate the comments a lot |
Re: My Poetry by vescucci(m): 10:48am On Mar 18, 2013 |
I started this thread with a conflicted mind trying to stifle my 'vanity'. Meh. The battle is lost now. I'll post some more poems but for my other works (mostly very short stories) please visit vescucci.. Mucho gracias |
Re: My Poetry by vescucci(m): 10:52am On Mar 18, 2013 |
Ballad of the brokenhearted Geisha This snow is new. My lover is gone This is the fourth month without a letter The small stream by our home will freeze soon The fish will now move upstream I’ve never caught a fish before But I sit with my pole to forget The trees will shed their leaves The mountains will soon have caps I’ll start painting again It’s four months now and I haven’t seen the postman My lover quests and I thirst Maybe the postman is dead; maybe I am dead. 2 Likes |
Re: My Poetry by wisepluto(m): 8:59am On Mar 21, 2013 |
Tinkybabe: I have always found poets interesting.They possess this sort of deep,latent and inconspicuous knowledge that is made manifest in their works.They see things beyond the scope of normal beings and mould them into words.They are critical thinkers that use their mastery art of writing to capture their readers.POETS are amazing! Aren't you one already!!! With dis write-up? 1 Like |
Re: My Poetry by Emmandus(m): 9:49pm On Mar 22, 2013 |
POEM: WHY GIVE UP? http:///7mVVAhiJEX to read my latest poem |
Re: My Poetry by Onyegecha(f): 7:27am On Apr 17, 2013 |
Ayoobscom: Aesthetic I mean the war hound but the second one about life is just to simple...avoid simplicity in your poetry...nevertheless..I say keep writing Iwould also say avoid obscurity in your poems because it does nobody any good. A poem with a simple diction is not inferior to one with knotted words as long as it is embellished with appropriate poetic devices. cheers |
Re: My Poetry by JeSoul(f): 2:13pm On Apr 17, 2013 |
vescucci: Ballad of the brokenhearted GeishaThis last line is drenched with meaning. Love it! |
Re: My Poetry by firestar(f): 5:46pm On Apr 17, 2013 |
Hmm. The heart pines in your last piece. Moreso than the previous. It's... ...savory |
Re: My Poetry by herrdeustch: 3:48pm On Jul 01, 2013 |
TAYE: ON BANKS OF BLOOD On banks of blood On banks of blood A village built on banks of blood hark the cry of slaughter at dawns innocent hour when the blade satiates desire on many a throat in her flower the sounds of the knife the sounds of the sword the glistening edge and the shouts of the war the despairing heart beats the drumrolls aroar and the racing pulse creates a rhythm of war the struggle is short as kicks go agog the writhing and strain against the enemies hold to the right to the left with all present strength but the verdict is done and the sick edge already drawn with a quick vengeance it draws an offering of blood faithfully pouring a libation to the soil the campaign is over, the horrors are not a bone here a bloody entrail there all signs of the war the rivers are swollen and the rivulets engulfed not with sweet waters but overflowing with blood the banks are flooded and the land gives a foul stink for the waters are ankle deep in the vile thing the vultures gather in their unholy gang casting lustful glances at the unpleasant land they soar atop spotless wings white as snow or regal silk and their princely steps mimic the gait of nobles on slender stilts perusing through the foul stream they take a peck at every morsel left hopefull for another season of bloody kills upon these banks a village is built its dwellings surrounding the evil stream where the blood of many flows aloof on banks of blood! vicdugavI vencedoR 08-05-08 taye village abattoir Minna,Niger State, Nigeria. 3 Likes |
Re: My Poetry by herrdeustch: 8:32pm On Nov 20, 2013 |
TZUM-TZUM: (LOSS OF A HERITAGE) I strummed your cheerful dandy strings And chanted sweet songs of rural bliss My dancing damsels willing pleased Like zephyrs in warm summer breeze Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum With you I found Agorok’s charming hills And made beautiful music in Bajju’s frills The halls of Rumaya and Jaba’s rocks And harvested delight in Chawai’s fields Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum With each new note the passion rose And fearful thoughts the passion froze Your music sweet like the crimson rose A pleasant gift from a lover close Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum It was you by the market square Where ebony maidens pure and fair Abandoned all fear and all their care And danced their hearts for your fare Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum The ancients at the watering holes Raised their gourds without a care For they knew it would be always filled For as long as you are there Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum Pluck those enchanted chords again And make those scales bring back to me The ecstasy of our mother tongue’s Sweet, refreshing melodies Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum Alas our wretched modern care Denies our souls your blissful rural cheer And like the fleeting, passings tear Your memory makes its passage here Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum A pilgrim, I sought your temple where Last I heard your sacred notes Mountains high and valleys low All is lost as you are lost from there Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum How betide a sad decline As thy silent slip from time Who was once its beloved cheery bard And companion handed down Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum And how may I mark thy loss Speak thy words or take thy cross Too suddenly taken away A sentiment so deep to us Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum And so I seek thy dying bed Where your mortal wounds had bled Untended, forgotten By the sons you bred Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum With your loss I shake my head Filling my heart now is dread For what the fathers handed down Is thrown out for a piece of bread! Tzum-Tzum Tzum-Tzum Vicdugavi Vencedor(vicdugavi@yahoo.com) 3-11-13 Note: The Tzum-Tzum is a traditional musical instrument native to the indigenous peoples of Southern Kaduna*.It is made of reeds, plucked with the thumbs and is a type of harp. It is fast disappearing from our culture because our language and culture are fast disappearing. I have been trying to secure one for the past two years but have been unsuccessful .So I decided to write this piece for it, hoping that its memory as well as that of our culture will be passed to my generations “peradventure our culture doesn’t survive (lol)”.May the music of the Tzum-Tzum and by extension, our identity, live on! |
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