otokx: Did you not attend the church with your husband prior to marriage?

As I said, it wasn't a problem before he became a trainee pastor. I was just attending church every other Sunday without caring whether I was being spiritually filled or not. Sometimes I would not go to church for 2 to 3 weeks or so. I was even happy when my son disturbed in church so I could go outside for the duration

Since starting MFM in April this year, my spiritual life has changed. I now study the word daily. I pray without ceasing. I don't joke with fasting. If I wake up suddenly during the night, I don't just lie there but start praying. Even before I put a pen in my bag at work, I ask permission whereas before, I see it as a perk

It's only now that it's come to light that I am not developing spiritually in my husband's Ghanaian church

The truth is that you have to go to your husbands church and possibly learn twi

You cant make a whole church change because of you. I dont think its good for Husband and wife to attend different churches

You can do MFM weekdays and Ghanaian church weekends

dayokanu:

You can do MFM weekdays and Ghanaian church weekends

But I can go to both on Sundays. MFM ends at 12 noon. Ghana church begins at 2p.m. It only means that I leave home around 8:45am. on Sundays and won't return home until 6p.m. C'est la vie

Omo Alata:

But I can go to both on Sundays. MFM ends at 12 noon. Ghana church begins at 2p.m. It only means that I leave home around 8:45am. on Sundays and won't return home until 6p.m. C'est la vie

If its convenient for you. But spending the whole Sunday in church leaving home at 8 getting out of Ghanaian church by 5pm?

Pray abt it. Pls learn ur husband language. There may b a woman who speaks ghanian language dat may B lookin @ ur husband lustfully will use dis ghanian dialect to take advantage over u. Hurry n learn it

SmileGirl: There may b a woman who speaks ghanian language dat may B lookin @ ur husband lustfully will use dis ghanian dialect to take advantage over u.

Then I will pray fire prayers on her

Seriously though, thanks everybody

When we were in UK, my sister used 2 attend a Ghanaian church where they spoke mostly twi. She so loved that Church and can now speak Twi very well though she stayed just a year.

Madam, u are slacking. The sooner you stop seeing yourself as a Nigerian and start seeing yourself as a Ghanaian, the better for you. How many years have you leaved with your Ghanaian husband and yet you don't understand his language neither do your kids? Seems like you need the switch to whip you into line. Abeg, do the needful and stop the pity-party. I can imagine how hurt your husband is.

i liked the posters that pointed out that salvation is a personal race and not family/marital race. ma, was your husband called? people don't train for pastoral duties until they are called. did he discuss wit u b4 he started training? compromise is a 2-way street. it's not just learn twi, go to his church etc. what is oga doing to meet madam in the middle? didn't oga know that she couldn't communicate in twi b4 he decided to train as a pastor? what kind of pastor-in-training advise his wife to come to his church and nod like agama? ma, have a heart to heart talk wit him and explain that u are not growing in his church because of lang barrier. a poster gave u about 5 options and u can look at them but remember that any reason that makes you go to church apart from Jesus Christ is a pure waste of time. take care

blank: When we were in UK, my sister used 2 attend a Ghanaian church where they spoke mostly twi. She so loved that Church and can now speak Twi very well though she stayed just a year.

Madam, u are slacking. The sooner you stop seeing yourself as a Nigerian and start seeing yourself as a Ghanaian, the better for you. How many years have you leaved with your Ghanaian husband and yet you don't understand his language neither do your kids? Seems like you need the switch to whip you into line. Abeg, do the needful and stop the pity-party. I can imagine how hurt your husband is.

and how hurt is the husband? is she hurt that the husband can't speak her language? and why should she lose her identity because she's married? she is a nigerian married to a ghanaian and nothing would change her from being a nigerian.

SmileGirl: Pray abt it. Pls learn ur husband language. There may b a woman who speaks ghanian language dat may B lookin @ ur husband lustfully will use dis ghanian dialect to take advantage over u. Hurry n learn it

so a strange woman who speaks twi has advantage over a wife who has borne 5 kids! a man is not senseless and a strange woman can't 'snatch' him; he decides to go after her. although a twi speaking woman might seduce him, the decision to fall for her or not remains solely with the man.

As people get older, they tend towards their roots.

If your husband is attending a twi-only speaking church now, it might be a preamble to other "home"-inclined decisions he might take in future. Learning the language is your most veritable tool for entrenching your - cultural, social, political etc. - influence around your husband in those times so you can stave off any possible outside threat and build your empire with your husband without interference. Note what tpiah contributed last. It is in every culture.

A lot of people are saying that it is your spiritual growth that matters and thank God you realise the difference between casual attendance and spiritual growth now. You will soon realise that God uses everything for a purpose. In the book of Acts 16:1-3 Paul had to baptize Timothy, whose mother was a Jew, because the Jews knew his father was Greek, [/b]even though he did not need to but the gospel had to progress and peace must reign first.[b] In those days there was a strange sort of hierarchy with Jews first, then others, not because it was right but because human beings will just be human beings who can ruin a good thing with well intended but foolish actions. These elements will always be in church and no one can surmount it except by joining them first to beat them later.

Your husband is going to grow in this ministry and some considerations which are not important between two of you now will soon become important as he goes up the church ladder (and he will) because of people around two of you. You will have to be seen as earning your clout alongside him in his chosen place of worship and be deemed a befitting helpmeet indeed. This does not mean you ought to be ordinarily, but you need to keep your husband and you will need to play up to the social game too.

Fellowshipping in a church involves a play of socio-cultural and political intrigues, but don't be distracted as the spiritual is content. But people generally carried away with the packaging most times and you wouldn't want people to discard the message because of the messenger. That was Paul did through out the book of Acts. Pragmatic christianity.

You need to be seen to be on your husband's side. Prepare yourself both spiritually and linguistically...continue attending MFM while learning Twi knowing that one day you must be spiritually mature enough to assist your husband to lead. Take care and God bless....

bukatyne: so a strange woman who speaks twi has advantage over a wife who has borne 5 kids! a man is not senseless and a strange woman can't 'snatch' him; he decides to go after her. although a twi speaking woman might seduce him, the decision to fall for her or not remains solely with the man.

B'oya lo mo... (go figure)...

Would it matter which direction who or what is influencing who or deciding what? In the end our sister's interest could be under threat, God forbid.

Omo Alata:
Sorry this is long

Yeah, too long. Your story has me wondering what sort of man would do nothing about his wife and kids being lost during a church service simply because his kin insist on being xenophobic. You try to help yourself and they give you stick?? Crazy!

My dear sister,
my philosophy of life is that nobody will speak beyond the level of his or her understanding. Several people have posted here to display their understanding in this serious matter. We dont just dabble into people marrital affairs anyhow like that. But some facts I will like to know to determine my advice to you is how and where you both started from.
How long have you married with this your darling?
Is that church you both attend ever since your marriage or just changed overnight?
Where did you meet your husband, ghana or nigeria or london?
If you met you husband before he joined that WCC in London, I will advice you to stick with mountain of fire. But if you met him in WCC, then you have no choice than to cooperate because you saw before you leaped.
If not, a reasonable man will not because of his language destroy his marriage. The kids dont understand the language likewise the wife and you want to impose it on them.
If that man wants his home settled, it is left for him either to mandated the church for interpretation or give consent to the wife's decision.
Spirit relates in the known language. If you are sitting in the atmosphere where your are dumb, your personal spirit that suppose to attract blessing will remain captivated and paralysed. So, settle the matter with your hubby to le him decide for his home. If he can not settle home, his becoming a pastor is useless. God is interested more in matrimonial home than nonsense church setting.

Again, I have five different couples who are not related by language or culture. My father inlaw is a Togo and mother inlaw is Igbo, they met in Jos and married and later relocated to yorubaland. Non of the children understand TOGO nor IGBO but pure english and yoruba. Why want to destroy the kids future by forcing them to learn ghanian language?
One thing that still confuse me here is, did you meet the man in that church before you marry him? If not, it must be argued out amicably

Sirniyeh: But if you met him in WCC, then you have no choice than to cooperate because you saw before you leaped.

Sirniyeh:
One thing that still confuse me here is, did you meet the man in that church before you marry him?

Thanks both. As I said, it didn't bother me before because I chose when and when not to go to church I saw it as a social outing Even those days, sometimes I would spend the entire service outside with my kids But since starting MFM, I have now seen the error of my ways. I now know the essence of going to church and worshipping God with my whole being. I now know I've been short-changed in my Ghanaian church and no longer feel at ease there as I'm not being uplifted or spiritually fed. If my husband had not started his pastoral training, I would have left like a shot and not looked back but now I feel, I am stuck - this was the purpose of this thread

It's a waste of time going to a chuch that can't uplift you spiritually. Being a pastor's wife doesn't give you an automatic visa to heaven.

Omo Alata:

Then I will pray fire prayers on her

Seriously though, thanks everybody

i have a simillar situation. my husband is going to this nigerian church(rccg), but i'm not comfortable there. i found a evangelical church near home and sunday morning i'm going to the evangelical church and after i'm going with him and the kids to rccg and because i dont like the service(they shout and scream)i get involved in children service, taking care of the toddlers group. he is happy, nobody ask him where is your wife and i'm ok(having the morning alone without him and kids arround). maybe you can get involved in something else there in the church.

and about others ladies snatching your husband...... well they tried with us(i'm white married to a nigerian so you do the math), but it didnt work; in a christian marriage is not only the husband and wife, there is God too, so i always send them to fight with Him.

Dear sister,
when at home with your husband and kids, what language do you use for domestic communication?
the solution is for you and your husband to convince the church management to realise the need for interpretation. A church setting must not be rooted on one language, and this is an indication that the resident pastor of WCC and board members are not versed in the scripture. Is gospel embark upon for only ghanian in london or what? If that is the case, it means they have missed the mandate. London is not ghana land and if there is going to be a church there, it must not be for only ghanians. There is need for interpretation to english. Because you met your darling in WCC and can not because of you quit, so interpretation is the best way. Even it will aid your understing their language. So settle it with your darling and convince the pastor for interpretation. If they refuse, it shows they have deviated from the scriptural mandate. And you must quit....i said it authoritatively! If your husband will descend to destroy his matrimonial home because of language barrier, it is left for him. After all, did you sign any agreement with your husband that when married you will speak his language?
God has been with you ever since your marriage with grace of children and now because your husband wants to be a pastor, I now wait to see whether he will become a pastor at the detriment of his matrimonial home.

desirel: i'm going with him and the kids to rccg and because i dont like the service(they shout and scream)i get involved in children service, taking care of the toddlers group.

That is a bladdie brilliant idea. WCC has no named sunday school teacher. I could offer to teach the kids and viola! everybody's happy I knew God would come up with a solution

Sirniyeh: Dear sister,
when at home with your husband and kids, what language do you use for domestic communication?

We speak English at home Hubby has said he'll address the interpretation wotsit so we'll see

@ op

I also used to think ~ki lo mu tomi wa~ was tommy

Those were the days

Gudintent:

Those were the days

Indeed

@ omo alata:

Simple, quick and effective solution: Sell your Hubby the advantages of him interpreting Twi to English at WCC on Sundays! Chikena!