Omo Alata:

Yoruba is my 2nd language (English is my first) and I find it difficult to pronounce all the words in yoruba language, my mother-tongue and you want me to go and learn Twi

If my husband wasn't training to be a pastor there, it wouldn't have been a dilemma

If this is your husbands goal and you want to identify with it as a family , you have to Learn Twi. That will strengthen your family. The alternative is for your husband to change course. ( just suggesting. I am not even a christian so it's all commonsense).

Thank you everybody immensely for your contribution

For the doubters, this is no fiction. It's real life. It didn't bother me before he became a pastor as I could choose when and when not to attend church but it's not so easy now. Even in MFM, the pastor's wife is always by her husband's side which got me pondering.

I googled and registered with a site called PolyglotClub.com. My aim is to learn Twi there but my brothers & sisters, it won't be easy O. It'll take a miracle for me to learn another language now

My husband is a full Ghanaian (no half Nigerian blood in him) and I must admit he is a wonderful man He can't do enough for me and the children (we have 5). My family come round, see how he is rushing around to please us and tell me I've won the lottery

@OP.
For one thing, this issue brings to fore one critical element that people going for inter racial/inter tribal marriage usually ignore.
I am of the opinion that couples must strive to speak/understand one of each other's mother tongue apart from English. That should have saved this situation.

cecegorz: @OP.
For one thing, this issue brings to fore one critical element that people going for inter racial/inter tribal marriage usually ignore.
I am of the opinion that couples must strive to speak/understand one of each other's mother tongue apart from English. That should have saved this situation.

You are right but I couldn't have foreseen that he'd one day be a pastor. It wasn't a problem before when we were just attending the church as members

buchibabe: In as much as d husband is d head of d home and ur obliged to obey him,me thinks he should be a little unselfish and worship where his whole family would enjoy d services togeda. A family dat prays togeda stays togeda.

I second that. Pray to God for direction. That is why the Holy ghost is here.

Has your husband complained about your going to MFM? your first loyalty is to God. I can already sense your husband is a fine man. It will be nice of you to learn the language but most importantly as your husband said the spirit is one. Supporting him does not necessarily mean going to a church you cannot understand nada. Husband already knows he has your support.

Why can't you both go to an English speaking church? but if his needs are met in that church and yours in MFM then no wahala.

andromida: Has your husband complained about your going to MFM?

No he hasn't I think he's happy that we discuss spiritual things at home now and sometimes when I come back from MFM, I tell him what the message of the day was there and we discuss it

Personally I don't agree to a church that you can't understand what they are saying cos church is a place of communion, but how do you commune if there is no understanding.

For the sake of love and the good attributes of your husband both of you should attend the same church. If it must be WCC, beg them in the God's name to get an interpreter (This is 21st century). Even during the day of Pentecost when they were speaking diverse tongues, they understood each other. The other option difficult option you have started (learning their language) which might take the next 20years.
Can you afford not to be edified till you can understand TWI?

Above all, do all it takes to keep your marriage, let nothing put you asunder.

Omo Alata: Thank you everybody immensely for your contribution

For the doubters, this is no fiction. It's real life. It didn't bother me before he became a pastor as I could choose when and when not to attend church but it's not so easy now. Even in MFM, the pastor's wife is always by her husband's side which got me pondering.

I googled and registered with a site called PolyglotClub.com. My aim is to learn Twi there but my brothers & sisters, it won't be easy O. It'll take a miracle for me to learn another language now

My husband is a full Ghanaian (no half Nigerian blood in him) and I must admit he is a wonderful man He can't do enough for me and the children (we have 5). My family come round, see how he is rushing around to please us and tell me I've won the lottery

TOPAI7:
Can you afford not to be edified till you can understand TWI?

No, I cannot 20 years is a long time, a very long time

.

apocalypse:

What a pity

I was not born in Nigeria. No pity about it KMT

Billyonaire: One cant but retain some sense of humor, I keep saying the day I am not funny, the world should start drafting my Obituary, should I say, Billytuary ?

God 4bid ur obituary nw o,u neva fulfil destiny finish nw

Omo Alata: Thank you everybody immensely for your contribution

For the doubters, this is no fiction. It's real life. It didn't bother me before he became a pastor as I could choose when and when not to attend church but it's not so easy now. Even in MFM, the pastor's wife is always by her husband's side which got me pondering.

I googled and registered with a site called PolyglotClub.com. My aim is to learn Twi there but my brothers & sisters, it won't be easy O. It'll take a miracle for me to learn another language now

My husband is a full Ghanaian (no half Nigerian blood in him) and I must admit he is a wonderful man He can't do enough for me and the children (we have 5). My family come round, see how he is rushing around to please us and tell me I've won the lottery

@ OMO ALATA: I have been married for about 20 years now! So take what l'm going to tell you seriously please.

If you really LOVE your husband, you will LOVE everything about him, his church denomination inclusive! Please, search your mind; do l really LOVE this man? Then attending the same church with him won't be a point to deliberate upon please.

Remember, LOVE covers multitude of sins, errors,....etc and a house that is divided against itself........

If there is any virtue thing on these things.

You will NOT fail in your marital destiny.

Omo Alata: Hello everybody

Can y'all help me please with this dilemma. We attend a church together as a family i.e. me, hubby and the kids. I'll call this church WCC International Church Anyway, my husband is a Ghanaian. The church we attend is a predominantly Ghanaian-attending church (in London). The church was founded in Ghana . They sing, pray, preach, give their testimonies, everything in the Ghanaian language. We sit there like dummies. My older kids (teenagers) have stopped attending as "we don't hear what they are saying". I saw it as a 'day out on Sundays' My husband loves the church and has recently started training there as a Pastor (he has started preaching - in the Ghanaian language) . It's a 40mins drive from our house.

Since April, I started attending Mountain of Fire church. It's a 10min drive away. I understand everything going on and can participate fully in the church. My teenagers attend some Sundays and they are able to participate. I've even joined the prayer warriors. Since I started MFM, my prayer life has changed. I now study the word daily. I yearn to be in the church (we have service this evening and I can't wait )

MFM service finishes at 12 noon. WCC International starts at 2p.m so some Sundays, after MFM, I drive down to WCC and attend the service but lately, I can't be bothered to go. About a month ago, I went there and the members afterwards told me off "how can a pastor's wife not attend every Sunday?". I told them the truth. "I don't attend because I don't hear what you are saying. You even give your testimonies in your language. You do your praise & worship in your language. You don't want 'foreigners' in your church. I can't waste my time every Sunday for nothing". Any 'foreigner' we get, eventually leave due to the language barrier. They promised to change.

Whenever I am in WCC now, they fall over themselves. A brother will take the microphone and proceed to speak in their language and someone will look at me and hastily tell them to speak English It doesn't come natural to them. I feel they secretly resent me for not allowing them to enjoy themselves.

Would it be proper for me to leave a church where my husband is a pastor? Or should I continue going once a while? Or what do you think?

Sorry this is long

there's no need to tink twice about this. Discuss it wit ur husband, tell him you want to attend where you understand what is goin on and if he approves of it pls leave jare. Haba, do dey read their Bible at all, can't dey translate in language people can understand. Haba

My sister, one thing u suld know and understand about ur husband is that every Ghanian both hone and abroad, love their language with passion, and the are also so genuine in love, if u can learn the twi language, am sure he will so much appreciate it, but always try to be with him in his church and ministry, u can still take time out to attend MFM, cos as u said if the church is parked with ghanians and their ladies too attend the same church, pls dont leave ur husband out alone in the cold, my advice.

Thanks everyone. Much appreciated

Sis, when the time comes for you to stand before God, He may not ask for the name and denomination of church that you attended. Your spiritual life is at stake here and you have to secure that before anything else.

This is what I think:
- go to a church that meets your spiritual needs. If this is MFM then that is where you should go. If it is your husband's church and the only barrier is language, then learn the language. Do not exclude your children as it is important that they can grow spiritually as well. Trust me that Nlanders will turn round and blame you when your children turn away from God because they cannot ''see or hear Him'' at the church you force them to attend.

- it is important that you support your husband. If you continue at MFM, then be thankful that the service times allows you to attend both churches- though it will be hard because you will practically have to spend all day at church on Sundays if you have to attend both. Learn your husbands language and encourage your children to learn as well, not just because of church.

- finally it is important that you talk to your husband and agree a course of action so that there won't be resentment between you two. Also pray to God for guidance- let Him have the final say!

Personally I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the church setting. You're in a foreign land for crying out loud?!!! How do you intend to carry out soul winning when the language is already a barrier. It's a sorry case that even the church leadership couldn't address this. Even if I were Ghanaian, I will not feel comfortable that the language of communication is just restrictive. What should whites and other nationalities do? Nawa oh

WhyAWhy: Personally I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the church setting. You're in a foreign land for crying out loud?!!!

That's what I told my husband. The members all go to work over here and they communicate in English; they are able to buy and sell in English, but come Sunday, they can no longer speak English

Omo Alata:

I was not born in Nigeria. No pity about it KMT

I kind of figured that. I was just about to tell fellow Nairalanders that they need to give you a break with all this "go and learn his language" bull crap. The minute you mentioned that English is your first language and Yoruba your second language, I told myself, this lady must have been born and bred in the United Kingdom. I was born in western Europe too but my parents took me back to Nigeria while I was an elementary school student. I learnt to speak my native language at age 11 whilst residing in Nigeria and it was not easy either. My mother brought my cousins from the village who spoke no English at all to come and live with us. That was I and my british-born brother's saving grace and it afforded us the opportunity to learn our native language.

Left for my parents alone, my brother and I would have never learnt our native language because our parents chose to speak English to my brother and I who were born and partly raised outside Nigeria and then speak our native language to my older siblings who were born and raised in Nigeria. So I completely understand where you coming from when you say you are not fluent in Yoruba how much less Twi.

Furthermore, any sensible individual should know that learning a foreign language as an adult is very difficult. I speak 3 languages myself but I learnt them all as a child. I can't imagine myself learning a foreign language now as an adult. The best time to learn a foreign language is when one is still a child. Since you have teenage children already, I assume you are probably in your late 30s or in your 40s or early 50s and trying to learn Twi at that age is going to be an uphill battle but you can give it a try.

In addition, those heifers accusing you for not teaching your children Twi need to get their brains examined. How can a Nigerian lady born and bred in England teach her children a language she does not speak? If your husband failed in teaching you Twi, how then can you teach the children Twi? You ain't Ghanaian. This is what I call the perils/pains of marrying someone of a different culture where you don't share linguistic similarities.

Anyways, put God and your salvation first and not man. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. As much as you want to strive to please your husband and all, it should not be at the expense of your salvation. Hell is real and once a soul goes there, there is no coming out. I say, attend your Nigerian church in the morning and go with your husband to his church in the afternoon. I know it will be cumbersome but that is the sacrifice you will have to make for marrying someone who is from a different culture from you. Peace!

dasparrow:

I say, attend your Nigerian church in the morning and go with your husband to his church in the afternoon. I know it will be cumbersome but that is the sacrifice you will have to make for marrying someone who is from a different culture from you. Peace!

Thank you and God bless

My younger sister and I were taken to live in Nigeria when we were much younger which is how we came to learn yoruba at all

abouqi:


@ OMO ALATA: I have been married for about 20 years now! So take what l'm going to tell you seriously please.

If you really LOVE your husband, you will LOVE everything about him, his church denomination inclusive! Please, search your mind; do l really LOVE this man? Then attending the same church with him won't be a point to deliberate upon please.

Remember, LOVE covers multitude of sins, errors,....etc and a house that is divided against itself........

If there is any virtue thing on these things.

You will NOT fail in your marital destiny.

@Bolded

What does it profit a person to gain the whole world (including marital destiny) but lose one's soul? (Mark 8:36 and Matthew 16:26). It is people like you who are so concerned about the affairs of this life when life is so short and temporary anyway and don't make adequate plans for the after life. You think that life ends once one dies? No it does not. The soul will stand judgement before God the creator.

I will never advise anyone to put another human being above God. Put God first and everything else in one's life will eventually fall into place. The bible says: seek ye first the kingdom of God and it's righteousness and all other things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). Omo Alata should go to her church in the morning so she can be spiritually fed with the word of God which comes from the sermon preached there and then go to her husband's Twi speaking church in the afternoon. Shikena!

Omo Alata:

Thank you and God bless

My younger sister and I were taken to live in Nigeria when we were much younger which is how we came to learn yoruba at all

You are most welcome Ma'am and may Daddy Jehovah bless you too.

Omo Alata:

No he hasn't I think he's happy that we discuss spiritual things at home now and sometimes when I come back from MFM, I tell him what the message of the day was there and we discuss it

Then please stay in peace. Do not listen to vile gossips and discontented people, always trying to stir strife, such people try to convert other christians to their denominations forgetting that the body is one. Attending a church with ones spouse is lovely but not at the expense of your spiritual health. Thankfully your Husband is not small minded. Water will always find its level and most importantly God has a way of making all things work out for good. Stress not.

It's not so rosy and easy to learn another language at this stage. Learning a language needs a receptive brain and that's not to imply Omo alata doesn't have one but it'd just be a kind of extra activity on the brain. It's not just about the woman loving the hubby but also about the hubby understanding the wife and trying to blend and make things more easier for the wife. i mean the wife tried!!! fives kids, home chores and now learning a language totally foreign to her in other to please her man and attain spiritual satisfaction!! That's rather unfair.
My take is that the hubby must encourage English speaking in their church, at the least, for the sake of his wife (to show love) and for others who might have been ordinarily put off the church because of twi language. Don't they want foreigners in that church? Considering the fact that the church is situated in queens country....
Omo alata, lol, ki lo mu tommy wa? Ohun rere lo mu tommy wa.... it's well...

Burger01: It's not so rosy and easy to learn another language at this stage. Learning a language needs a receptive brain and that's not to imply Omo alata doesn't have one

Omo Alata's brain is no longer receptive O

Burger01: Omo alata, lol, ki lo mu tommy wa? Ohun rere lo mu tommy wa.... it's well...

I will never live this down and won't even begin to tell Nairalanders of other boo-boo's the yoruba language caused me

attend your Nigerian church in the morning and go with your husband to his church in the afternoon. I know it will be cumbersome but that is the sacrifice you will have to make for marrying someone who is from a different culture from you.

i agree.

in addition, learn the language, as people as saying.


ghanaians have this deep seated hatred of nigerians which needs to be seen/experienced to be believed.A lot of nigerians are blissfully unaware of this fact, but prefer to sing kumbaya and imagine nothing is wrong.


it seems to me they know this pastorship will alienate him from his family-moreso you guys dont speak his language and are nigerian, from outside the south south.

Ghanaians are also matrilineal, so . . . . . .


many of them are very sneaky and will go about their goal in a very roundabout manner- ie through other people including whites and AAs.

imo, it would be better if you all attended either a nigerian or a white church where there are mixed couples like yourselves. At least in a nigerian church, he will be quite welcome and made to feel at home.

just be praying for him sha- and attend the church but make sure you get into the culture.

I am surprised that your husband who is training to be a Pastor says you should just be satisfied with saying Haleluyah and Amen? Haba? Faith cometh by hearing and hearing the word of God!

Church is not a social or 'tick the box' event! like many people here suggest.
It is part of the available resources you have to draw spiritual strength for this Chritian race.

Do not let them use 'Pastor wife' to decieve you, like it has already been mentioned, there is no Pastor's wife in Heaven o. Let those in the Ghanian Church who are shouting Pastor's wife try to go to a Church where they cannot hear what is being said and see what it is like.

I am not a fan of MFM, I have some issues with them but if your spiritual life could be the way you mentioned from attending service there, then you are on the right path.

Some people have mentioned how you can try go to the two Churches, if you do not do anything during the week then this may be possible and i rejoice with you, because I cannot imagin a working wife with all she has to face on weekdays to now spend the whole Sunday in Church.

Thanks again everybody

Omo Alata: Hello everybody

Can y'all help me please with this dilemma. We attend a church together as a family i.e. me, hubby and the kids. I'll call this church WCC International Church Anyway, my husband is a Ghanaian. The church we attend is a predominantly Ghanaian-attending church (in London). The church was founded in Ghana . They sing, pray, preach, give their testimonies, everything in the Ghanaian language. We sit there like dummies. My older kids (teenagers) have stopped attending as "we don't hear what they are saying". I saw it as a 'day out on Sundays' My husband loves the church and has recently started training there as a Pastor (he has started preaching - in the Ghanaian language) . It's a 40mins drive from our house.

Since April, I started attending Mountain of Fire church. It's a 10min drive away. I understand everything going on and can participate fully in the church. My teenagers attend some Sundays and they are able to participate. I've even joined the prayer warriors. Since I started MFM, my prayer life has changed. I now study the word daily. I yearn to be in the church (we have service this evening and I can't wait )

MFM service finishes at 12 noon. WCC International starts at 2p.m so some Sundays, after MFM, I drive down to WCC and attend the service but lately, I can't be bothered to go. About a month ago, I went there and the members afterwards told me off "how can a pastor's wife not attend every Sunday?". I told them the truth. "I don't attend because I don't hear what you are saying. You even give your testimonies in your language. You do your praise & worship in your language. You don't want 'foreigners' in your church. I can't waste my time every Sunday for nothing". Any 'foreigner' we get, eventually leave due to the language barrier. They promised to change.

Whenever I am in WCC now, they fall over themselves. A brother will take the microphone and proceed to speak in their language and someone will look at me and hastily tell them to speak English It doesn't come natural to them. I feel they secretly resent me for not allowing them to enjoy themselves.

Would it be proper for me to leave a church where my husband is a pastor? Or should I continue going once a while? Or what do you think?

Sorry this is long

this is funny and understable, but try to learn the language, while you discuss with your husband, to understand why your attending the church is just formality. cos the main esence of going to church is to hear the woed of God, worship Him and praise Him, in a situation where u are not achieving these, thae you have to be wise

if i am the one in tjis situation, i will continue with mfm, till i learn the language.


like in lagos, anglican church have igbo,and yoruba priest, igbo priests are are rev for igbo anglican church, while yoruba priest are re for yoruba anglican.

the churches observes two services evry sunday, early morning english services and after igbo sevices, like wise yoruba anglican observes early morning english and later yoruba

but why you will know wether is ibo or yoruba anglican is the priest tribe and first sundays combine services ( the language will be mixed)

Did you not attend the church with your husband prior to marriage?