Let's face it who's more responsible for the child, is it the mother or the father. This is not to bring confusion or separation in anyway, or to blame anybody it's intended to wake the two parent head up to their responsibilities (maybe just the father). I'd like to take some examples from the Bible as basics. We all know Eli the priest; his children raped ladies in the temple, they committed atrocities that could only have been committed by children birthed by 'animals' or the devil himself (pls pardon my strong words). When God would pass judgment, he blamed Eli, God said he knew about the sins they were committing and that he did nothing about them (1 Sam 3:13). Samuel, a prophet raised in God's temple, with minimal interference from the world; consider his children, were they any better? No! God may not have passed judgment on him or his children, but a 'success' without 'succession' is a big failure, so, yes, Samuel failed in that regard too. I'm not preaching, just trying to explain the basis of my conclusion. Look at Jonadab, the Rechabites ( Jeremiah 35:1-, God sent Jeremiah to his house to bring his children to the temple. Jeremiah brought them, set drinks (wine) before them but they upheld their father's counsel to that of a prophet, in the class of Jeremiah! Wonderful! Please read the above passage for better understanding
This is my submission, the father is not just the head of the house in finances, his interest shouldn't just be to provide the best school for his children, buy good cars, live in a good house etc. One of his major roles, is to discipline the child, teach him life principles. And more importantly, to live, practice what he teaches. The man is responsible for all the chaos caused by the children. The armed robbers on the streets, the assassins, the prostitutes etc, blame the man! Like I said earlier, I didn't spend my time on this for blame games (maybe I did) but for us to wake up to our responsibilities! Contrary opinions, supports are highly welcomed. (Follow @dami_paul for more)

Both parents are equally responsible for the child. It's a shared responsibility.

Having said that, you might add that at the very beginning, i.e when the child is born - the mother should have a more hands on approach as she is responsible for nurturing the baby, especially if she's breastfeeding exclusively.

Nevertheless, the dad can and should help out too. You know, like helping to change his baby's nappy, run a bath for him / her and help with the night feeds / watch night duties a.k.a "Awoko" runs

Children are responsibilities of both parents...exception comes in the case of single parent...its as simple as that.

Efemena_xy: Both parents are equally responsible for the child. It's a shared responsibility.

Having said that, you might add that at the very beginning, i.e when the child is born - the mother should have a more hands on approach as she is responsible for nurturing the baby, especially if she's breastfeeding exclusively.

Nevertheless, the dad can and should help out too. You know, like helping to change his baby's nappy, run a bath for him / her and help with the night feeds / watch night duties a.k.a "Awoko" runs

thanks for the humor

Maria-G:
Children are responsibilities of both parents...exception comes in the case of single parent...its as simple as that.

and I don't disagree. We just need to set our priorities straight

dami_paul: and I don't disagree. We just need to set our priorities straight

by priorities, you mean? Who should discipline the child more or whose sole duty to discipline the child?

Maria-G:
by priorities, you mean? Who should discipline the child more or whose sole duty to discipline the child?

No. I'm saying it's not about fancy houses without morals, it's not about the good English without respect, it's more than going to church or mosque, it's more about the fear of God etc And it takes the person with direction to do these...

I agree with Efemena's response to an extent.
Dami Paul, parenting definitely goes beyond living in a good house etc. I belive it is the duty of both parents to bring up the child/ren, e.g when a child is being disciplined by either the mother or father the other party should trust that it is being done for the child's good and not question the correction except of course it is too harsh, even at that, it should not be done in the presence of the child.
Both parents also need to realise that there is no chore for the child that is solely the responsibility of a particular parent. Eg, it should not solely be the mother's responsibility to make sure the child has his bath on time or changes his/her diapers when soiled; but how many Nigerian men living in Nigeria can honestly say they know how to change diapers? Very sad!

maran1983: I agree with Efemena's response to an extent.
Dami Paul, parenting definitely goes beyond living in a good house etc. I belive it is the duty of both parents to bring up the child/ren, e.g when a child is being disciplined by either the mother or father the other party should trust that it is being done for the child's good and not question the correction except of course it is too harsh, even at that, it should not be done in the presence of the child.
Both parents also need to realise that there is no chore for the child that is solely the responsibility of a particular parent. Eg, it should not solely be the mother's responsibility to make sure the child has his bath on time or changes his/her diapers when soiled; but how many Nigerian men living in Nigeria can honestly say they know how to change diapers? Very sad!

I know I might get lashed for this but I have to say it; Our Waec results are getting worse, our children can't sit and read for an hour etc the major cause is this copy cat attitude. That the white help their wives change diapers, that they help them cook, (let me also add that they can't beat their children) etc doesn't mean that you must pressure your husband into doing same for you. If your husband does them, lucky you, if he doesn't, it shouldn't change anything. You may ask how the above argument affects our children, in such homes, the parents carry unnecessary burdens, they live the more important things for the less etc

The maid.

In nigeria today, where both parent struggles to meet societal expectations; then the maid is responsible in most cases.

Joanna Sedley: The maid.

In nigeria today, where both parent struggles to meet societal expectations; then the maid is responsible in most cases.

That's the reality, and the annoying part is that we men, even with our tight schedule still create time for clubbing and watching the premier league and our wives, enough time for gossip and Africa Magic

Dami Paul you talked about parenting didnt you? Incase you do not know changing diapers and bathing children are part of parenting.
You read what i wrote on discipline but conviniently kept quiet about that because it suits your ego! How sad

maran1983: Dami Paul you talked about parenting didnt you? Incase you do not know changing diapers and bathing children are part of parenting.
You read what i wrote on discipline but conviniently kept quiet about that because it suits your ego! How sad

lol. I apologise please, I assumed you understood I agreed with the other points you raised that's why I didn't mention them.

You agree with discipline but do not agree with assisting? How typical.

maran1983: You agree with discipline but do not agree with assisting? How typical.

pls get my argument on 'assisting' right, it's very good and essential (it's not bragging, ask my wife, she'll tell you) but we should not let it overshadow weightier matters!

dami_paul: I know I might get lashed for this but I have to say it; Our Waec results are getting worse, our children can't sit and read for an hour etc the major cause is this copy cat attitude. That the white help their wives change diapers, that they help them cook, (let me also add that they can't beat their children) etc doesn't mean that you must pressure your husband into doing same for you. If your husband does them, lucky you, if he doesn't, it shouldn't change anything. You may ask how the above argument affects our children, in such homes, the parents carry unnecessary burdens, they live the more important things for the less etc

And what's that supposed to mean? In a modern day society?

Unfortunately i cannot ask your wife seeing as she is not here, at the end of the day it is just your word which i am sorry to say i do not quite trust.
Anyway, no need to derail the topic. Like i stated earlier it is the job of both parents.

Efe please help me ask him. This is supposed to be about parenting but it seems Dami Paul only parents at intervals when it suits him or maybe as the spirit leads. So of course doing the child's laundry, cleaning up after the child etc does not count afterall he is the man of the house, no need spoiling the wife with too much help, how else will she know her place?!

Efemena_xy:

And what's that supposed to mean? In a modern day society?

Modern day society; your son can wake up in the morning and give u a good slap if u push him too far, he can spend hours on the internet on rubbish, his grades are degrading and all the parents can say is that it'll get better. And in all of these, what most mothers concern themselves about is who does what in the house regarding chores etc, and I tell you my dear, those are less important matters!

dami_paul: Modern day society; your son can wake up in the morning and give u a good slap if u push him too far, he can spend hours on the internet on rubbish, his grades are degrading and all the parents can say is that it'll get better. And in all of these, what most mothers concern themselves about is who does what in the house regarding chores etc, and I tell you my dear, those are less important matters!

Yes, Modern day society.

We aren't in the Stone Ages where the man goes out to hunt wild animals and gather fruits from fallen trees, while the women remain behind in the caves birthing and tending to the kids.

We aren't Neanderthals either where a man beats a woman over the head with a blunt club and drags her into the cave for s/e/x.

We are in a society where it's not uncommon to find both parents working and slaving away, just to ensure they provide the basic necessities of life (food, clothing and shelter) for their kids. It's not uncommon to find women who work from the crack of dawn till dusk, be it high flying office executives or your petty trader / farmer in the market. They all work.

So how then can you justify the actions of a man whose unwilling to partake in household chores? Why should he sit on his fat ar$e waiting to be served hand and foot while the woman close to exhaustion is also expected to tend to the kids solely? Is that your definition of fairness?

And what's with the silly example you've given of a child waking up in the morning to slap his / her parents? Are you for real? Are you even mature? 'Cos you don't sound so, from what you've written up there. The thread you've created asks a question. A valid question at that: Whose more responsible for the Child? And you've been told both parents! And as per the bolded stuff, you have unruly children in households where the mum is a full time mum, part-time worker or even a full time worker.

Go back, have a rethink and come back here with better examples to support a logical argument, if you can.

No @Poster, the Children are instead responsible for their parents.

Efemena_xy:

Yes, Modern day society.

We aren't in the Stone Ages where the man goes out to hunt wild animals and gather fruits from fallen trees, while the women remain behind in the caves birthing and tending to the kids.

We aren't Neanderthals either where a man beats a woman over the head with a blunt club and drags her into the cave for s/e/x.

We are in a society where it's not uncommon to find both parents working and slaving away, just to ensure they provide the basic necessities of life (food, clothing and shelter) for their kids. It's not uncommon to find women who work from the crack of dawn till dusk, be it high flying office executives or your petty trader / farmer in the market. They all work.

So how then can you justify the actions of a man whose unwilling to partake in household chores? Why should he sit on his fat ar$e waiting to be served hand and foot while the woman close to exhaustion is also expected to tend to the kids solely? Is that your definition of fairness?

And what's with the silly example you've given of a child waking up in the morning to slap his / her parents? Are you for real? Are you even mature? 'Cos you don't sound so, from what you've written up there. The thread you've created asks a question. A valid question at that: Whose more responsible for the Child? And you've been told both parents! And as per the bolded stuff, you have unruly children in households where the mum is a full time mum, part-time worker or even a full time worker.

Go back, have a rethink and come back here with better examples to support a logical argument, if you can.

I'm using my phone, can't seem to find my way around highlighting. I laid a foundation, please go back to it, I'm not out to blame anybody or to justify anyones lazy actions, I'm out to wake parents up (not single ladies, who live on fantasies and base their judgments on what they see on tv), parents like me that are disturbed about the spate of moral decadence in the society which ultimately starts from the family. Having said that, what u said about maturity was very childish, no need derailing the thread. Haven't you heard of children beating up their parents, go to marriage counselling sections, u'll hear married people speak about things of less importance. The husband is complaining that the wife is not putting enough meat in the soup, the wife is complaining that she does all the chores alone etc and pls, get me right, I am not saying these things don't count, I'm saying we've allowed them take over matters of importance, especially child raising!