Efe and I got married two years ago. Before we got married he really wasn’t all into social networks but now he’s on all of them: Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and other silly social networks. I wouldn’t have minded if it was just Facebook, I can deal with that. Everybody is on Facebook. Normal people are on Facebook. But Twitter…

That’s a different thing entirely. All sorts of home breakers and husband snatchers are on there.

I started to notice something was wrong when Efe started spending more time than usual on his Blackberry. He’d come home from work, kiss me briefly before settling on the couch with his Blackberry in his hand.

I would tell him something like “Honey, I went shopping today and just guess who I saw.” And he would grunt. Or I would tell him to come to the dining for his diner and he would say something like “I’ll be there in a minute” and he would take forever to get up. He’d take forever to eat and still wouldn’t finish his meals because he was tweeting.

He’d go out with friends till late and fall asleep as quickly as he hit the bed.

The day that my suspicions were confirmed was the day he left his Blackberry on my reading table while he was in the shower. I did not intend to snoop. I was reading a book quietly with my mug of coffee in one hand and my highlighter in the other when his phone beeped.

I ignored it the first time.

It beeped again.

Then again.

Again.

My will to ignore it weakened with each beep and I reached for the phone. He had Socialscope notifications, direct messages actually, from @Ivy_L_Chick. Her avatar was quite small but the little I could see was cleavage. I was just about to read the rest of the direct message when I heard the door of the bathroom creak shut.

I jumped and dropped the phone like it had scalded me. Efe cocked an eyebrow my way.

“What were you doing with my phone?” he asked, coming towards me. I felt like a criminal.

“Nothing. I wanted to check the time.”

He nodded and continued dressing. I believed he believed me until he was on his way to work; a functioning clock was directly in front of me. It has always been there. I put it there myself.

By the next time I could lay my hands on his phone, there was a password on it. It was on my ninth try that I heard Efe’s footsteps in the hallway. I quickly pulled out his battery and restarted his phone so he wouldn’t know that I had been trying to enter his password.

Instead of the usual brief hug and kiss, Efe lingered awhile with me in the kitchen he even helped me do the dishes and he did not reach for his phone once. Not once.

He started noticing my new hair dos again, he started complimenting me again but I was not content with having Efe back.

A need to go through his Twitter consumed me so much that all I could see at night was @Ivy_L_Chick’s avatar. I could see it in the mirror in the morning, in the television in the afternoon and yes, in my dreams at night.

Finally, one morning, I decided to get a Twitter account. I was familiar with all the lingo because my husband used it so much. Oftentimes, he would refer to one of his friends as @thatblackboy instead of Tunde or he would say Ejiro’s avatar makes brain or something like that.

I opened a Twitter account on a Tuesday morning with the handle @barbiexxx and an almost completely nude avatar i found through Google. I started tweeting Efe and retweeting all his tweets. Soon after he followed me back and sent me a direct message.

@ThatEfeGoi: Hey. Wassup?

@Barbiexxx: I’m good. You?

@ThatEfeGoi: I’m chilling. Nice avatar.

@Barbieexxx: Thank you! Yours isn’t bad either

@ThatEfeGoi; lol i appreciate.

@Barbiexxx: you’re welcome

I wished he would say something flat out incriminating like “Want to hook up?” but he didn’t.

Not that day. Not the day after or even the following week. But my mind was still not at rest. Why did he put a passcode on his phone if there wasn't anything he was trying to hide from me? There was and I was hellbent on finding out. I just never stopped to think about what I was going to do with the incriminating information but I wanted it as bad I wanted my next breath.

I got the evidence I wanted right in my lap two weeks after the first direct messages we shared. He sent me a message asking if I wanted to “hook up sometime on Saturday” He had told me that he was going to watch a match with a couple of friends at a bar on that same Saturday at the same time he wanted to “hook up”
I told him that I would be available.
The next few days after that were the longest days of my life and when Saturday came, I was more than ready to face my two timing husband. We agreed to meet at Spicery hotel’s lobby. I got there at 2:15pm fifteen minutes after we agreed to meet.
I can’t begin to describe the look on his face when he saw me walking towards him, swinging my handbag menacingly in my hand.
“So this is what you do behind my back ehn, Efe?”
He was speechless. I was so mad I caused a scene right there in the lobby in front of the receptionist and some of the cleaners even some people came out of their rooms to see the woman who was bashing her husband with her handbag.
We haven’t said two words to each other since that day. Efe now sleeps on the couch while I cry myself to sleep. Nothing Efe says to me will change my mind about what is happening between us. Things are no longer the same and I doubt they ever will be. The minute he walks out the door in the morning, the dirtiest images of him with another woman fill my mind.
Efe still denies that he has ever cheated on me but I don’t believe him because I can’t find the direct messages he exchanged with @Ivy_L_Chick anymore. I don’t believe.
I don’t believe!
I cannot say for sure that I am not losing my sanity. But I can say for sure that my marriage isn't the same anymore. Efe and I aren't the same anymore either…

Ouch! Really touching!
@OP, is this just for viewing or she needs advice on what to do?

But if the lady loves her husband that much and still wants her marriage to be, something can still be done to save it and it have to involve both of them.... I suggest she breaks the silence and have a one on one talk with him;get to know why he behaved that way; what his intentions are now that he has been caught, etc...all in all, their marriage survival depends on them...their decisions after the discussion.
Seriously, I must commend that lady.... she fit work for FBI....lol

A nice relaxing tale

I was almost fooled until I saw your profile

Can't read dat

Maria-G:
Ouch! Really touching!
@OP, is this just for viewing or she needs advice on what to do?

But if the lady loves her husband that much and still wants her marriage to be, something can still be done to save it and it have to involve both of them.... I suggest she breaks the silence and have a one on one talk with him;get to know why he behaved that way; what his intentions are now that he has been caught, etc...all in all, their marriage survival depends on them...their decisions after the discussion.
Seriously, I must commend that lady.... she fit work for FBI....lol

I GOT IT FROM MY GIRLFRIEND. SHE GOT IT FROM A FRIEND .
ITS ALSO A LESSON FOR US ALL TO CEASE FROM CYBER-CHEATING

joeydozzy: I was almost fooled until I saw your profile

ITS NOT MY STORY OO. BUT IT IS REAL.

Hey OP, that post is tooo long! Summary will be better!!!

Well, I enjoyed the story.....

The founders of twitter must pay for the damages. Take them to court

Excelboi: Hey OP, that post is tooo long! Summary will be better!!!

TAKE UR TIME TO READ IT. ITS QUITE INTERESTING. I JUST WANT US ALL TO LEARN FROM THE STORY

Interesting story, felt so bad for the poor lady. Social networking site can make or mar one's life, depending on how we use it. Sin of infidelity, forgiveness? No no no! Omo, na serious wahala, don't even know if advising her to walk away from the relationship would be an ideal one, but believe me, she's gotten a cross to bear and I hope she can endure it till the end or she opt out of the marriage for good. Nna mehn, this is selious tlobul

Let me try and read it...

@op, all the twitter handle you mentioned, I searched for them, on Barbiexxx came up as existing but a whiyte chick! Una clone name?
On a serious note, I don't know what to say!!!

there is also a chance to start afresh. marriage is all about tolerance and forgiveness. she must be ready to tolerate and forgive her husband. My secondary school teacher always say a devil you know is better than an angel u don't know.

Maria-G:
Ouch! Really touching!
@OP, is this just for viewing or she needs advice on what to do?

But if the lady loves her husband that much and still wants her marriage to be, something can still be done to save it and it have to involve both of them.... I suggest she breaks the silence and have a one on one talk with him;get to know why he behaved that way; what his intentions are now that he has been caught, etc...all in all, their marriage survival depends on them...their decisions after the discussion.
Seriously, I must commend that lady.... she fit work for FBI....lol

FOR VIEWING.. AND ALSO FOR US TO LEARN FROM

but this tory for really make waves for home video.
wey chico ejiro?

Sweet story.....

Men dis thing long ooo!!

9ce interestin tale....bet 9ja homevideo producers go kum act/produce dis one.....@op-d tory don waka o.frm ur galfrnd frnd to ur galfrnd to u nd nw us....wow

The chain long, no be lie...lon ting..e no even familiar with the original source

lgboks: 9ce interestin tale....bet 9ja homevideo producers go kum act/produce dis one.....@op-d tory don waka o.frm ur galfrnd frnd to ur galfrnd to u nd nw us....wow

lefulefu: but this tory for really make waves for home video.
wey chico ejiro?

i think Tchidi Chikere will do a good job.

...little of what being a social network addict can cause...sighsss

This looks like a made up story but it also happens in real life. Check out some interesting comments on the post below

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2012/05/dear-myne-he-lost-interest-in-me-since.html

AnonymousMay 28, 2012 2:33 AM
awwww, i don't even know what to say. this is sad and it makes people like us, about to get married scared n wonder if the men who claim to love us now and want to marry us, will change later on and not even care anymore. yours is still painful even to me, cos its still a young marriage. if i tell you that i am not scared , its a lie. my advice, dont nag, just try and be the wife u always were. b even more loving and caring and pray hard. in time he will realize himself. am sure . but dont change who u are and have always been

MsJBMay 28, 2012 3:29 AM
Na wa! Time really changes yesterday. To think that a new invention/discovery can change the person you thought you knew so well and married. I hope he comes around 'cause this one can be so depressing esp when you don't even know how to start tackling it.

AnonymousMay 28, 2012 5:22 AM
I think he is just immature. In everything you do, there must be moderation. Please speak to an elderly person he respects, so he can be called to order.
sounds like a teenage husband to me. smh

Olad SmithMay 28, 2012 6:09 AM
That is just one of the effects of using facebook as a social media. It can destroy ones relationship due to the fact that you will always meet friends who will distract you from your loved ones.


lovelife4saleMay 28, 2012 7:08 AM
he may be using facebook to keep his options alive, maybe he isnt cheating now, but im definitely sure that cheating is on his mind. There is always alot of drama associated with facebook, I had to delete my account because quite frankly, i saw more Bad than Good in facebook.

Fiction.

who tell her to open twitter account MTcheewwww!

INFACT THIS BEEPING, FACEBOOKING, TWITTERING ETC ARE DESTROYING MARRIED HOMES NOW ADAYS.

MY NEIBOURS WIFE JUST SCATTERED HER MARRIAGE RECENTLY BECOS THE HUSBAND CAUGHT HER BEEPING WITH AN ERRAND BOY IN OUR NEIBOURHOOD.

WHAT'S THE WORLD TURNING TOO NOW. BOYS AND GIRLS BEEPING VERY WHERE. CHURCH O, PARTY O, INSIDE THE CAR O, BUSES O, CAFE O, OFFICES, WETIN!.

I SENT MY CORPER GIRL TO ANOTHER DEPT LAST WEEK JUST THAT SHE COULD NOT CONCENTRATE ON HER JOB BUT BEEPING ALL DAY LONG. HA NA WA O O!

You sure you didn't make up this story cos none of those Twitter handles exist.