y is it that men of these day are becoming overwhemly lazy. Your wife does the cooking, takes cares care of children, doesnt sleep at night, bear children with heal of pains goes to work and you still expect her to feed you @!!
@poster are you cripple, visionless, lame and proven not man enough. After you go chase dirty girls down the street while she work for you. 5o/5o my ass y is it that men of these day are becoming overwhemly lazy. Your wife does the cooking, takes cares care of children, doesnt sleep at night, bear children with heal of pains goes to work and you still expect her to feed you @!!
@poster are you cripple, visionless, lame and proven not man enough. After you go chase dirty girls down the street while she work for you. 5o/5o my ass

mondi_cheeks: and the house chores and child-rearing. who is that left for?

who says a man cannot do the above effectively?its a matter of understanding between both parties.@topic.The only way a man becomes scared of taking responsibities is because wife and family needs are enormous and this puts pressure on the man,if most women wuld be less demanding and manage what ever they have,they number of broken homes and marriages will reduce,but they wont want to cut down the expenses cause of pride,ego and fame.

mondi_cheeks:
wch is why men should stop thinking women r comic book superbeings...its common sense, if u want her to contribute jus as much financially, a man has to contribute jus as much with the cleaning and child-rearing

MY problem with what you wrote is the fact that you believe that the ONLY job in a household is to clean or child rear....highly laughable. i guess the light bulb will change itself telepathically, right? or the lawn is going to cut itself by miracle?!

mondi_cheeks:
her doesnt push a 5 pound baby out of a va-gina, neither does he spends sleepless nights after tht child is born

so now because women push babies out of their vag.inas, they shouldnt pay as much, when it comes to FAMILY? that must be the joke of the day!

as for sleepless nights, if SHE gets maternity leave, then why shouldnt she get up at night?! THATS WHY SHE GETS THE DAMN MATERNITY LEAVES for...... at least she doesnt have to go to work in the morning, DUH!
and when she starts work again, then BOTH should care for the baby at night, each taking turns.....thats a NO BRAINER in the real world!

So because the OP made a note that "matured comments please". That is why this page is still on its 1st page? Seems the mo.rons look out for that note before commenting trash. I will surely keep note of that while creating my post.
Nice topic though.

MRbrownJAY:

so now because women push babies out of their vag.inas, they shouldnt pay as much, when it comes to FAMILY? that must be the joke of the day!

as for sleepless nights, if SHE gets maternity leave, then why shouldnt she get up at night?! THATS WHY SHE GETS THE DAMN MATERNITY LEAVES for...... at least she doesnt have to go to work in the morning, DUH!
and when she starts work again, then BOTH should care for the baby at night, each taking turns.....thats a NO BRAINER in the real world!

unless if the husband leaves the house without breakfast and the house miraculously cleans itself during the day and his clothes will find way of washing themselves and going right back into the closet,,, talking about NO BRAINER! if u dont pay as much as when it comes to the family, tell me what will pay the hospital bill after delivery, what will pay the medical cover, what will pay for the house insurance, what will pay for those children to have a good, quality education?

mondi_cheeks:
unless if the husband leaves the house without breakfast and the house miraculously cleans itself during the day and his clothes will find way of washing themselves and going right back into the closet,,, talking about NO BRAINER! if u dont pay as much as when it comes to the family, tell me what will pay the hospital bill after delivery, what will pay the medical cover, what will pay for the house insurance, what will pay for those children to have a good, quality education?

ok , i guess you have problem understanding what i wrote, so i will try to be more clear on the issue:
PEOPLE ARE EQUAL in a union, and people have duties in that said union. wifey wont wash the cars or mow the lawn or fix the house because THATS DADDY'S JOB. mummy could do it "sometimes" but it is NOT a requirement for her to do so (and vice versa).......as for hospital bills then they BOTH pay it, because its BOTH their child's delivery DUH!medical cover, they BOTH pay it because its BOTH their health,duh! they BOTH pay for the house insurance because its BOTH their house, duh! and they BOTH pay for the kids school because its BOTH their chidlren's education!

as for talking about washing dirty clothes, how stoopid one must be if they cannot even put dirty clothes inside a washing machine?! some women have really lost the plot on life......as if washing dirty laundry is a feat in life, NONSENSE!!!! to all women who think that it is, cheers for yourselves and come collect a medal....BRAVO!!!!!

MRbrownJAY:

ok , i guess you have problem understanding what i wrote, so i will try to be more clear on the issue:
PEOPLE ARE EQUAL in a union, and people have duties in that said union. wifey wont wash the cars or mow the lawn or fix the house because THATS DADDY'S JOB. mummy could do it "sometimes" but it is NOT a requirement for her to do so (and vice versa).......as for hospital bills then they BOTH pay it, because its BOTH their child's delivery DUH!medical cover, they BOTH pay it because its BOTH their health,duh! they BOTH pay for the house insurance because its BOTH their house, duh! and they BOTH pay for the kids school because its BOTH their chidlren's education!

as for talking about washing dirty clothes, how stoopid one must be if they cannot even put clothes inside a washing machine. some women have really lost the plot on life......as if washing dirty laundry is a feat in life, NONSENSE!!!! to all women who think that it is, cheers for yourselves and come collect a medal....BRAVO!!!!!

clothes dont put themselves in a washing machine, dryer and neither do they stem or iron themselves. breakfast doesnt find its own way on table in the morning neither does dinner. my point being child-rearing is a 24-hour job,children need more attention. u dont mower the lawn for all eternity, it doesnt take more than 15mins to wash a car and it takes less than 2mins to put in a new bulb.

mondi_cheeks:
clothes dont put themselves in a washing machine, dryer and neither do they stem or iron themselves. breakfast doesnt find its own way on table in the morning neither does dinner. my point being child-rearing is a 24-hour job,children need more attention. u dont mower the lawn for all eternity, it doesnt take more than 15mins to wash a car and it takes less than 2mins to put in a new bulb.

Who cares how long it takes to care for children since the EMPLOYED wife wont be doing it?! bwaaaaah! we are talking about WORKING Women, NOT stay at home mums. if a woman DOES NOT work and is a stay at home mum then SHE HAS NO MONEY TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE FAMILY, so why would you even bring this example to this thread, which is obviously THE OPPOSITE of what we are talking about here....ok i guess you got lost in the discussion, so let me help you:
A MAN AND A WOMAN ARE EMPLOYED, THEY BOTH HAVE A SALARY. HOW MUCH SHOULD THE WIFE CONTRIBUTE TO THE FAMILY?!

MRbrownJAY:
Who cares how long it takes to care for children since the EMPLOYED wife wont be doing it?! bwaaaaah! we are talking about WORKING Women, NOT stay at home mums. if a woman DOES NOT work and is a stay at home mum then SHE HAS NO MONEY TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE FAMILY, so why would you even bring this example to this thread, which is obviously THE OPPOSITE of what we are talking about here....ok i guess you got lost in the discussion, so let me help you:
A MAN AND A WOMAN ARE EMPLOYED, THEY BOTH HAVE A SALARY. HOW MUCH SHOULD THE WIFE CONTRIBUTE TO THE FAMILY?!

a woman is a mother and a wife first before she becomes a career woman that one thing u should know, so yes she still has to take care of her children even if she works a 14-hour day!dumb-bumb!!! how long it takes to care for a child will determine how much time she will have to do other things besides caring for the children

mondi_cheeks:
a woman is a mother and a wife first before she becomes a career woman that one thing u should know, so yes she still to take care of her children even if she works a 14-hour day!dumb-bumb!!!

and a father/husband is what before becoming a career man?! a piece of the furniture?! pls stop talking NONSENSE online, it makes you look really bad.
if the lady works a 14hrs job then the HOUSEGIRL will take care of the kids, THE KINDERGARDEN CARER will care for the child, and the 5min play-play that mummy will have with the child is NO different than what daddy will do. as if women even cook after a 14hr job, let alone wash/iron dirty laundry....thats the housegirl's JOB!!!! you better check yourself, lol.

women like you who think they are super women, while you are no better than the man you married, is the problem here!

well if most nigerian men didnt think like you, dont u think ur economy would be better darling? if black men knew and accomplished they role in a family home, would u have so many people engaging in criminal activity for a living?

MRbrownJAY:

and a father/husband is what before becoming a career man?! a piece of the furniture?! pls stop talking NONSENSE online, it makes you look really bad.
if the lady works a 14hrs job then the HOUSEGIRL will take care of the kids, THE KINDERGARDEN CARER will care for the child, and the 5min play-play that mummy will have with the child is NO different than what daddy will do. as if women even cook after a 14hr job, let alone wash/iron dirty laundry....thats the housegirl's JOB!!!! you better check yourself, lol.

women like you who think they are super women, while you are no better than the man you married, is the problem here!

if u were well educated u would would know that lack of bonding with children and uneffective supevision and monitoring by the parents increases a child's risk of developing anti-social behaviour, and a nanny cannot play that role

To me i believe this issue has always been approached from the wrong angle, it is either we follow the religious provision concerning this issue or stick to our traditional process but refined and restructured with modern realities. I am a man and the mere fact that the woman works or she is also employed does not make it compulsory to contribute to the household but she will contribute somehow but not in the sense of the percentages in my opinion.

mondi_cheeks:
if u were well educated u would would know that lack of bonding with children and uneffective supevision and monitoring by the parents increases a child's risk of developing anti-social behaviour, and a nanny cannot play that role

...AND AGAIN, what has the above got to do with the thread?! is a woman working 14hrs a day BONDS STRONGER with her kids than her husband who works equally long hours?! stop writing nonsense online....... unless of course you will come here and tell us that SUPER WOMEN are coming home from their 14hrs day at work and then cook and clean the home, take care of the kids, do the laundry ALL BY THEMSELVES while husband smokes a cigar while watching the footie?! NONSENSE OF THE HIGHEST ORDER, from equally deluded women who think that they are SUPER WOMEN because they can push a 5pound baby through their vag.inas!
if a woman works 14hrs a day, then SOMEONE ELSE THAN HER is caring for her child!

like i said only for the well educated. no need to be harsh

The woman is a helper, she can contribute but the man shld contribute more, so much is xpected from her, wash, clean, cook, collabo with him @ nyt and day. Mbok, I will contribute but d respect is der wen he is a greater player. Well we'll complement each oda.

mondi_cheeks:
a woman is a mother and a wife first before she becomes a career woman that one thing u should know, so yes she still has to take care of her children even if she works a 14-hour day!dumb-bumb!!! how long it takes to care for a child will determine how much time she will have to do other things besides caring for the children

What in the world are you talking about? Jeez!!! I feel like smashing this iPad on the wall!! OMG!!

Hmm do people really work 14 hours per day or something between 6 to 8 hours then add the time spent in traffic to that?

people with pretty demanding jobs

Pharoh: Hmm do people really work 14 hours per day or something between 6 to 8 hours then add the time spent in traffic to that?

lawyers, doctors, people with 2 jobs do

I thank God for my wife o!

When she earned more than me, we contributed equally, when I earned more than her, we contributed equally, Now she earns a little bit more than me, we still contribute equally. When I say equally, i dont mean 50:50 exactly but we do things sensibly and together.

She takes the kids to school, I pick them up
She takes them to the cinema, I take them to the park
She buys Naija food, I do the Tesco shopping (and vice versa)
She pays the phone, water and childcare bills (she gets the profit from the flat we let out), I pay council tax, electricity and gas
she does the washing, I do the cleaning
She does the cooking and the rest of the family do the eating

Thank you my wife. I love you!!

pappilo: I thank God for my wife o!

When she earned more than me, we contributed equally, when I earned more than her, we contributed equally, Now she earns a little bit more than me, we still contribute equally. When I say equally, i dont mean 50:50 exactly but we do things sensibly and together.

She takes the kids to school, I pick them up
She takes them to the cinema, I take them to the park
She buys Naija food, I do the Tesco shopping (and vice versa)
She pays the phone, water and childcare bills (she gets the profit from the flat we let out), I pay council tax, electricity and gas
she does the washing, I do the cleaning
She does the cooking and the rest of the family do the eating

Thank you my wife. I love you!!

you are a good, sensible man

mondi_cheeks:
lawyers, doctors, people with 2 jobs do

Yeah i see but whats the point of using it in this discussion when this same profession or jobs is not restricted to one particular gender?. Men are also doctors, lawyers, can do two or more jobs self like the woman, so we should just go with a working woman that works full time ( 7 to 8 hours ).

To me you were sounding like the above situation represents the majority percentage in reality which i think is not. For the purpose of this discussion a full time work is enough to pass the message you intended to and not trying to bring emotions into the discussion with that 14 hours a day job angle. Lets stick to normal working statistics for the purpose of this discussion and no need stretching it that far.

It is a new phenomenon for many girls of this generation to conceive the idea of contributing financially to the household, esp as many of them saw their fathers take care of the bills almost entirely. These days, women earn comparable income to men, sometimes more. We r at the crossroads of this social change, and what both men and women should come to terms with, is understanding the reality of our times. On the other hand, men should understand that u shouldn't rule with the same iron fist u perhaps saw ur father rule with when they were footing d entire bill. It's do-able; a balance can be struck somewhere For sake of fairness

Pharoh:

Yeah i see but whats the point of using it in this discussion when this same profession or jobs is not restricted to one particular gender?. Men are also doctors, lawyers, can do two or more jobs self like the woman, so we should just go with a working woman that works full time ( 7 to 8 hours ).

To me you were sounding like the above situation represents the majority percentage in reality which i think is not. For the purpose of this discussion a full time work is enough to pass the message you intended to and not trying to bring emotions into the discussion with that 14 hours a day job angle. Lets stick to normal working statistics for the purpose of this discussion and no need stretching it that far.

well it is according to people in my profession...

mondi_cheeks:
well it is according to people in my profession...

I understand but to me it would have been okay to say women who work full time to cover every possible variation of working hours.

express101: It is a new phenomenon for many girls of this generation to conceive the idea of contributing financially to the household, esp as many of them saw their fathers take care of the bills almost entirely. These days, women earn comparable income to men, sometimes more. We r at the crossroads of this social change, and what both men and women should come to terms with, is understanding the reality of our times. On the other hand, men should understand that u shouldn't rule with the same iron fist u perhaps saw ur father rule with when they were footing d entire bill. It's do-able; a balance can be struck somewhere For sake of fairness

Thanks for this post and hitting the subject of new realities that we have come to face in modern times that needs adjustment from the way our father did things during their time when they footed the whole bill. You cannot talk about percentages of contribution without addressing the issue of how the home and children is to be taken cared of. It would just amount to a case of trying to eat your cake and having it at the same time. This same eating of cake applies to women too as you cannot keep all your money from your job and expect the man to help you domestically too at the same time.

It is either you treat it from the religious view where the woman is an help-mate, she keeps her womanly duties and helps you out of her free will. We can go back to our traditional ways where the woman either works in her husband business (farm) or does one or two petty jobs (buying and selling )without any significant income. She then comes home to show the husband the money ( the man doesn't take the money in most cases ) or uses her discretion to supplement one or two things in the house without necessarily informing the husband that provides for the home majorly.

Nowadays the reality is that women can now work and earn money which even sometimes is more than that of the husband. so if we are going the route of percentages that our fore fathers did not practice then the possibility of adjustments in the domestic end of the house becomes possible. For me both should share the responsibility in everything that concerns the home according to whatever agreement or system that suits both of them. One mans system might not be applicable to another family so couples should trash issues like this before saying i do.

Pharoh:

I understand but to me it would have been okay to say women who work full time to cover every possible variation of working hours.



Thanks for this post and hitting the subject of new realities that we have come to face in modern times that needs adjustment from the way our father did things during their time when they footed the whole bill. You cannot talk about percentages of contribution without addressing the issue of how the home and children is to be taken cared of. It would just amount to a case of trying to eat your cake and having it at the same time. This same eating of cake applies to women too as you cannot keep all your money from your job and expect the man to help you domestically too at the same time.

It is either you treat it from the religious view where the woman is an help-mate, she keeps her womanly duties and helps you out of her free will. We can go back to our traditional ways where the woman either works in her husband business (farm) or does one or two petty jobs (buying and selling )without any significant income. She then comes home to show the husband the money ( the man doesn't take the money in most cases ) or uses her discretion to supplement one or two things in the house without necessarily informing the husband that provides for the home majorly.

Nowadays the reality is that women can now work and earn money which even sometimes is more than that of the husband. so if we are going the route of percentages that our fore fathers did not practice then the possibility of adjustments in the domestic end of the house becomes possible. For me both should share the responsibility in everything that concerns the home according to whatever agreement or system that suits both of them. One mans system might not be applicable to another family so couples should trash issues like this before saying i do.

May God bless u for dis piece...If u want it shared equally( finances), d house chores, d respects, taking care of d kids, cooking, cleaning, laundry must also b shared equally...we r no slaves again...gone are days of our mothers...

Mondi_cheeks...thanks too

mondi_cheeks:
her doesnt push a 5 pound baby out of a va-gina, neither does he spends sleepless nights after tht child is born

I thought the woman had the child because she wanted to not because she was forced to or hoping to be compensated for it

I am for sharing finances and sharing responsibilities

dayokanu:

I thought the woman had the child because she wanted to not because she was forced to or hoping to be compensated for it

Do u think that's easy.losing one's appetite, vomitting, feeling feverish 4rm 1-3months, afterwards, u must stop eating and taking some stuffs like cold drinks,then u ve got 2 change d position u normally sleep,go 4 ante-natal, pushing out 5pounds baby...
Yes, I know there are lazy men out there, but we stil have hardworking men that compensate their wives after delivery...if u haven't seen, I have seen many

dayokanu:

I thought the woman had the child because she wanted to not because she was forced to or hoping to be compensated for it

U both wanted it, u both should cater for it in every way. Not only financially on ur part