I knw of a woman livin near my house, she is alwaz flogn her children nd scolding them buh yet these children kip getin worse on daily basis, they dnt get scard of cain anymore, somtyms they purposely make there mum shout or cain them,i also knw of this other woman who find it vry difficult 2 raise hands on her kids buh yet this chldren ar vry respectful,they fear cain lyk death,each tym there mum issues a simple instruction they do it wit immediate effect and my question is this. . . . . .is it gud 4 parents 2 alwaz flog there children no mata the crime they commited?

Plz i posted ths topic here 2 get reasonable answers 4rm our religious group.

Don't av kids yet but when I was growing up, I can honestly say I preferred being flogged cos I'd get defiant and feel like I'd been adequately punished... without getting to a point of remorse.

But my mum waking me up in the dead of the night and giving me talks worked wonders for me. My dad just had to say 'I'm disappointed in you' and I'd feel regret.

All I can say, study your child and know what works for them. Initially, my parents (esp my mum) thot that since I was stubborn, her best bet was to flog me and sometimes slap me till I saw stars but she finally cooled down for Jesus.

If you're going flog a child, I'll never flog mine, make sure you make the child know what he did wrong, why such a behaviour is unacceptable prior to punishment. You may also avoid punishing the child when u're emotionally upset bout the crime, make you no wound ur child.

Spare the rod,destroy the kid.

My mum flogged hell out of me,even though she was my greatest enemy then(my most hated human on earth then was my mum)

Almost 22 years old now,looking back I will say she did shape my future and destiny,and I'm grateful for the discipline she has instilled in me(we are best of friends now).

Frankly if she had not flogged me when I was wrong,trust me I wont be the good boy I'm now.


You know no matter how much you discipline some kids they will still remain bad,like the case of your neigbour(the question is this,was discipline instilled in them from their infancy or she started flogging them after their behaviors got out of hand)
I know some kids are born rebel and their is little you can do to change it.

All I can say to your neigbour is that if sticks dont break them,word will(and if words doesnt,then she will have to work on their thinking and psychology)

Spare the rod does not mean spoiling the child. When I was growing up, I was not just flogged but I was whipped but I know that those flogging did not make me the person I am. It was the talks they had with me that carved me into what I am today. They would use people around me as examples and may down my options in front of me. The cane to me was just normal, it did not hurt me and I did not fear it.
What carved me was the thought that what I am doing now might actually make them disappointed in me and that made me straight.
Lobe is a bigger and better tool than fear and we all better realise that. If you Jim loves you and does not want you to be disappointed in him/her is a lot better that the kid being scared of your whip.

Waking me up very early in the morning z wat actually helps me 2 feel remorse cuz my mum did'nt really flog me. So 2 me is beta u talk sense in2 the kid dan floging him cuz sooner or later he wil get used 2 flogn.

It all depends on the child. Some children are goats and need to be flogged all the time. Some children are very smart from childhood and can be corrected using psychology (i dont know if this is universal).
I had a cousin that was always cained, beaten, in fact the father had to call police to discipline him. The last time his father called 2 policemen to punish him, he beat the two of them unconscious (he learnt martial arts in secret).
We have lost contact now due to his increasing badness, the last time we had a minor issue as teenagers, he gave me the beating of my life (over 10 years now, and i can still remember clearly) - since then i avoid him like a plague, till now (he is just madt).

....

Smartie gurl: Waking me up very early in the morning z wat actually helps me 2 feel remorse cuz my mum did'nt really flog me. So 2 me is beta u talk sense in2 the kid dan floging him cuz sooner or later he wil get used 2 flogn.

Yeah, but parents and would be parents (example me) have to be careful when holding talks. I particularly worry that 'talking' may be used as an excuse for emotional abuse, comparing your kids with the neighbours' or with their siblings and to the extreme- cursing kids saying words like u'd never amount to anything etc . These are just plain unacceptable IMO.

There is no manual on good parenting and what is good for the geese might not always be good for the gender. However I must note that flogging children was never in African culture until the european missionaries brought it to us and used biblical references to enforce it.
Flogging is bad for a lot of reasons. It is in my opinion, a very bad way of parenting. It leaves emotional and psychological scars on the child. It is so bad that the europeans who brought it to us have all droped it and made flogging a criminal offense in their countries.
If you treat a child like a goat, he will behave like a goat. We are mentally and physically harming our children. Nothing good can come out of that. It is not a surprise that we as a nation full of flogged individuals are always making the wrong decision and are moving backwards.
Flogging is a sign of failure to get a message across to a child. Your child needs communication, not violence.
Children's brains work very differently from adults' own, so when you think a child has done bad thing that deserves physical violence, the child does not think so and if you go ahead and flog him, it creats a disconnect in his brain. This disconnect have immediate consequence: hate. But more worrying is the long term mental consequences of these actions.

You are damn right @advocate666. Seriously if i shuld be a mother 2day i dnt thnk i wil whip my kid rather a heart 2 heart discussion is preferable.

Proverbs 13:24.  He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The bible also supports flogging/discipline..so I see no reason why we shouldn't engage in it.