Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man - Romance - Nairaland
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| Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 7:00pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Okay, so basically I'm dating a Nigerian man that lives in a different state than I do. I've known him for almost 2 years now but we have only been in a exclusive committed relationship for the past 2 months. I see him pretty much every month and everything is going well. My problem is that I feel like he is keeping something from me about what he does as a profession. He says he's a business consultant but a few things just aren't adding up. He never seems to really work but he tells me he is at the office sometimes. He leaves to go to random countries for "work" but he never elaborates on the details. Whatever it is that he does he makes a lot of money. I guess I want to know if Nigerian men just don't go into much details about what they do or their whereabouts? Or does it seem like he is involved in something illegal? I'm a black American and I have noticed that we have cultural differences in our upbringings, behavior and beliefs but overall I really care about him and I know he cares about me too. It just feel like he is hiding something. What do you guys think? |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by RedLight1: 7:08pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
if u can trust him..one advice leave ... the same problem i had with a girl i use to date online like that... i travel alot cos of my profession ...but she always doubt me cos am a nigerian... if u feel u cant trust him ..live him and lets hear something else abeg 1 Like |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by Nobody: 7:36pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
You should talk to him about that. Or is he the kind of guys that avoids conversation? Because if you've known him for 2 years you should be able to ask him this kind of questions, especially if you're dating now. Have you met his friends/family? I'm also dating a Nigerian and I know it's very hard with their reputation and what other people think and tell you. 1 Like |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by KINGwax(m): 7:55pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Unless shady, dirty and wrong, there's no man that doesn't boast about his job. He tends to talk abt it more with his girlie. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by MrsChima(f): 8:30pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Run!!!!!!! |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by uyiekpenm(f): 8:34pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Run for your dear life. He is definitely into something shady. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by claremont(m): 8:39pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Red-Light:Simples! Abi na by force?! |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by Nobody: 8:40pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
miss-sweety86: ^ 1 Like |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 8:49pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
miss-sweety86: miss-sweety86: I haven't met any of his immediate family members because they live in Nigeria but I know most of his friends and have traveled with them. Because we live in different states I travel once a month to visit him. I have actually asked him to explain exactly what it is he does and he has no problem telling me, it's just I don't understand how it all works together. For example, he's a consultant but he also exports cars. I don't see why he would need to travel out of the country to say Canada to do that. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 8:53pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Red-Light: Are you completely open with her if she ask you questions though? Or are you kind of allusive? I trust him for the most part, I just hope he's not lying to me about this one thing. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by Nobody: 9:01pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Ok. Well at least you know his friends there so it's already something. Good luck for the future, I know it can be difficult sometimes because it's a different culture, and if there is something unclear it gets more difficult.... Myself I hate asking questions, and one time I really felt I needed to ask about some things, but as it was only things I heard and read on internet, it was still tricky because I had no real proof if he was doing something not very good... So I just decided to let it go and trust him (which is very hard because I'm in Europe now and he's in Nigeria). Have you talked about travelling to Nigeria? |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by MrsChima(f): 9:17pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Difference of cultures should not be an excuse to break a law or maliciously cause harm to someone that you claim to love. People have been mixing cultures for CENTURIES and many are successfully married. It is all about the individuals and their mindset. You can get five people from the SAME GROUP with FIVE DIFFERENT opinions about the color red. Culture is a category that certain people fit in either by invitation or upbringing. If I hear ONE MORE PERSON SAY WELL YOU GUYS HAVE DIFFERENCE OF CULTURES...I am going to piss all over Boko Haram and Mitt Romney!! Bullshit! A thief come in all races. A liar come in all races. A LovePeddler come in all races. A deadbeat come in all races. If he is not doing a, b, and c that is because HE CHOOSES TO not because he is Nigerian from Nigeria! |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by 190theclown: 9:19pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
the question is how do you both corpulate! if you could both corpulate steady and regularly then there's no cause for alarm dont ask me what corpulate means - ask born2phuck! |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by 190theclown: 9:20pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
miss-sweety86: Baby!!  I missed you - oya come and collect kiss  |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by Nobody: 9:21pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Mrs.Chima: I'm sorry but there are still differences in terms of cultures. I'm not talking about what he goes for a living, whether it's legal or not. I'm talking about the way he acts, because it seems that she says he stays vague. I know everybody is different and not all Nigerians have been raised the same way, but I'm sure you can act any mixed couples and they will tell you that culture matters and influences their relationship. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 9:27pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
miss-sweety86: Thanks for the well wishes. We seem to be exactly in the same predicament. He's going to Nigeria next month and he invited me but my work schedule won't really allow it with all of the time ill already have off because of the holidays. We've also discussed things I also read from reading about dating Nigerian men. If I went by what I've read it seems like I'm almost a polar opposite to the type of girl he would marry (I'm light skinned, skinny, dont really cook and I'm pretty "Americanized" as he would say). When I brought it up though, he acted as if I completely made the stuff up out of thin air. He told me that he didn't like that his ex girlfriend acted American but its ok for me because I am American. I didn't really know if I should be offended or not but I just let it go. I do not doubt that whether or not he cares about so I guess I'll just trust him. Thanks |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 9:33pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
miss-sweety86: I'm not saying, nor have I ever stated, that I believe that he is doing something illegally simply because he is Nigerian. That would be a stupid assumption to make. I brought up the cultural difference because I believe that maybe that is the issue. I honestly really just want to understand whether or not he is vague because Nigerian men are just vague and not because he is lying. I don't want to offend him by constantly bringing it up if its just the way he communicates. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by Nobody: 9:36pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm European so I've heard so many times that he's using me to get a passport or other things. And you're right, it's probable that we don't look/act like their ex-girlfriends or many Nigerian girls. I remember my bf told me so many times that I'm more complicated than his ex, than back girls,... It's too bad that you can't go to NIgeria with him. I haven't been either, last year when he went I was busy with my exams and now.... well it's complicated... but if you get the chance to go you should really, like that you'll meet his family. Or if you could talk to them on the phone or on skype that would be great too! I'm always kinda scared that he's another gf at home because so many people tell me that, so at least if I know that his family knows about me and that I've talked to them, I feel a bit relieved about the cheating part. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 9:36pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
@ miss_sixty86 that last comment was actually for mrs. Chima  |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by RickyRoss1(m): 10:20pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
If you dont trust this guy pls leave him alone. 1. You do not trust him 100% bc hes a Nigeria, yet you cannot leave him alone bc no white guy will fucckk u the way he does. IF YOU TRUST HIM 100% THERE WONT BE ANY NEED FOR YOU TO COME HERE AND MAKE THIS POST? 2. If he is yet to get his papers most of your friends and family will assume he is using you to get papers. There are just too many dumb assumptions from you people. The best thing is to use and dump your sorry assesss. I repeat, MOST white gals are no good to a blackman, just use and dump at random... Are you too dumbb to ask why a man had to go to Canada to export cars to Nigeria? I repeat, since you don't trust this guy why not just leave him alone? Did you think by coming to nairaland you would get more confidence or trust? If you are honest and concerned as you claim you should have talked to some of his friends since you said you do travel with them. If you cannot get solid answers from his friends what makes you think you will get it here? Finally, every man has every right to hide some certain things from a girl friend. I am happily married but not everything I tell my wife. A woman will always be a woman. I don't have to tell my wife every time i pay school fees for some relatives, she may not like it. I don't have to tell my wife how many bank accounts I have. I don't have to tell anyone every time i cough. So yes if this guy is hiding some things from you he has every right, you are not married to him in the first place. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 10:46pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Ricky_Ross: If you dont trust this guy pls leave him alone. I'm not white I'm a black American. I never said I didn't trust him because he is Nigerian. I wanted to know if Nigerian men were just secretive and if that were the reason it seemed as if he was hiding something from me. He's lived in the US since college and has citizenship so he doesn't need me for a green card lol In fact if he were a con artist he would be a dumb one because he's never tried to use me for anything. He makes way more money than me. We talk everyday and I see him all the time even though we live in two different states. I actually have had a very in depth conversation with his friend about our differences but I think It's crossing the line to talk about this with his friends. So you are wrong wrong wrong and it looks like you are the one that made all of the wrong assumptions! |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 10:56pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
To reiterate, I communicate with my boyfriend. I do not think that Nigerians are con artist. In fact I find it kind of weird that everyone keeps bringing that up when I never said that. Read my initial post. We are getting very serious and I care about him a lot. I know where he lives, I've slept there many times, I know all of his close friends and we have a great relationship. I'm just trying to understand our differences. I don't want to repeatedly ask him and his friends because I don't want to make a big deal about it but it does concern me. If you're not give an honest constructive opinion then simply don't post on the topic. Thanks |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by 190theclown: 11:00pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
^O gurl as long as you;re dealing with a NIGERIAN MAN ure in the best safest hands we NIGERIAN MEN are God's gift to man kind! the 9th wonder of the world and we are indeed rear GEMS - if you doubt this - ask our NIGERIAN GIRLS  3 Likes |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by jjgirljay(f): 11:04pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I JUST FELL OFF THE BED 190 INDEED 190-the-clown: |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by jjgirljay(f): 11:09pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Deal with him as a man not as a Nigerian. ask him what he does if he loves you and trust you enough he will tell you,as long as its nothing illegal,darling life is short enjoy your relationship. 1 Like |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 11:09pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
190-the-clown: You may be right lmao he is great.. I'm not going to tell him he's a 9th world wonder though lmao his head is big enough as it is.., |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by 190theclown: 11:35pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Spoiled_LA_Girl: tell me, nor lie ooh that guy nor dey package you well for bed!! tell me why you nor go love am  |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by SpoiledLAGirl(f): 11:51pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
190-the-clown: Huh? What are you asking? |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by MrsChima(f): 12:28am On Nov 07, 2012 |
miss-sweety86: It is a big world out there and millions of people from mixed cultures are in successful relationships/marriages. It is not that complicated. Person A pooped with one leg up. Person B pooped with two legs up. Person C pooped with one eye closed. Person D pooped with two eyes closed. Person E pooped with one finger in someone's azz. What do they all have in common? They all pooped! Differences in Cultures isn't that complicated to assimilate nor understand. It is not rocket science. So what Nigerian culture do not support divorce or having babies out of wedlock. There are non-Africans who support the same mentality so again...culture isn't that complicated as people make it to be. |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by Nobody: 1:23am On Nov 07, 2012 |
190-the-clown:Lord help me keep my thoughts to myself |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by 190theclown: 1:33am On Nov 07, 2012 |
Spoiled_LA_Girl: ask someone to interpret it for you |
| Re: Help: I'm In A Long Distance Relationship With A Nigerian Man by 190theclown: 1:33am On Nov 07, 2012 |
mondi_cheeks: Lord help me keep my thoughts to myself Amen  |
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