Nairaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 1213898 members, 1574471 topics. Date: Friday, 01 August 2014 at 02:56 PM

Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? (8261 Views)

20 Things You Must Teach Your Children Before They Grow Up / Five Siblings Die In Lagos Fire ! / How & Why Do Siblings Fall Apart? (1) (2) (3) (4)

(0) (1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Richard6(m): 9:14am On Nov 12, 2012
Why Do Brothers And Sisters Become Less Friendly And Less Close When They Grow?

I ask this because I feel the pains and the trauma most. I know how close we used to be when we were kids. I am the last and I know how beautiful it used to be but now its different as we have grown.

Am not saying that I don't carter for myself now or something of that nature but it feels not good when I remember how close we were. I feel the pain more as the last and for the fact that our parents are late, could it be the cause?

No, because I know families seem apart when they grow older even when the parents are still alive. I feel abandoned and less loved because its no more same.

Please why does a family seem less friendly and less close as they grow?

8 Likes

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by andromida(f): 9:51am On Nov 12, 2012
Someone has to do the reaching out. since you miss them reach out to them as often as you can, try not to work on the supposed mentality i mean because you believe they should act a certain way does not mean they are going to and since you want the closeness don't wait for them just reach out to them and make it a constant thing gradually you guys may become close once again.

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by MissyB3(f): 10:07am On Nov 12, 2012
It's not always the case. As far as I know, the bond grows stronger as they grow up. . . They usually spend childhood being rivals, esp. if they are in the same age range.

Parents play a great role in keeping siblings together. . . if you think their effort or the lack of it isn't helping, you could reach out to your siblings (more) often.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Revolva(m): 11:58am On Nov 12, 2012
Because survival of the fittest as we are all animals - all man for himself

1 Like

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Nobody: 12:09pm On Nov 12, 2012
Life happens people get busy, you have to make time and reach out to each other.
I am lucky, we have one sister who is the center, we have a group everyone has to check in and say hi every morning, we talk a little and know how the day goes.
So if you want to stay close make an effort, it won't just happen, reach out and stop waiting to be "loved"

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by maclatunji: 12:18pm On Nov 12, 2012
Missy_B: It's not always the case. As far as I know, the bond grows stronger as they grow up. . . They usually spend childhood being rivals, esp. if they are in the same age range.

Parents play a great role in keeping siblings together. . . if you think their effort or the lack of it isn't helping, you could reach out to your siblings (more) often.

I think the rivalry grows worse amongst many siblings as they grow older. OP, grow-up. Like someone said- reach out but don't expect cuddles and pampering. It is all part of the growing-up process, you have since stopped being the cute little brother that arouses quasi-motherly feelings in your elder sister. tongue
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by maclatunji: 12:18pm On Nov 12, 2012
^^^No harm or offence intended. grin grin grin
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by tpia1: 7:19pm On Nov 12, 2012
Were they friendly and close before?

If they werent then why expect some magical change into what they never were to begin with.

Besides, people get older, have new interests, start dating, working, etc etc.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Nobody: 7:54pm On Nov 12, 2012
maclatunji:

I think the rivalry grows worse amongst many siblings as they grow older. OP, grow-up. Like someone said- reach out but don't expect cuddles and pampering. It is all part of the growing-up process, you have since stopped being the cute little brother that arouses quasi-motherly feelings in your elder sister. tongue

Well I won't totally agree with you oga Mac, I'll agree with missy , they grow even closer cos that's who you talk to after your spouse if you're married , this depends on their upbringing and how they're raised.

As per OP ,what about family reunions every year ( even every 2 yrs depends in your pockets)

and take tuns in your place each person resides say Boston this year, Toronto next year , Ibadan etc

something for all if you and your kids ( to meet their cousins ) to look forward to , it's always fun and makes you bond more.

I can imagine how you feel but somebody has to make a move and reach out.good luck.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by UjSizzle(f): 8:20pm On Nov 12, 2012
If you miss them so much then you should trying bridging the gap.

Though the case of siblings growing apart when they're older isn't always common. It all depends on the upbringing, plus the fact that one is saddled with more responsibilities the older they get, so usually family take the back seat.

Occasional phone calls and visits wouldn't hurt, but don't expect rainbows and unicorns simply cause you're the last child. Your siblings are all grown up, you need to grow up with them.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by tpia1: 8:40pm On Nov 12, 2012
In nigeria, most siblings scatter when they go off to college and dont reorganize until after they settle ( get jobs, etc) so not sure if maybe its not the majority who are like that.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by GboyegaD(m): 9:22pm On Nov 12, 2012
I think it is the hassle of growing up and trying to create a path/balance in life however, if it isn't well managed, they get to drift apart too much to get back to the closeness they used to have growing up.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by esere826: 9:24pm On Nov 12, 2012
@Op

yesterday's gone
I guess that's just the way it is

Our little world initially made up only of our immediate family -dad mum and siblings
Sooon expands with time -boyfriends, girlfriends, ex's, hubbys, friends, in-laws, office colleagues, goals, children

our emotional pool is finite,
there is only so much emotions we can invest even on our immediate family members

I guess what we eternally owe them
....is loyalty

7 Likes

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by totalbaby(f): 9:25pm On Nov 12, 2012
i feel you sad
Richard.:
Why Do Brothers And Sisters Become Less Friendly And Less Close When They Grow?

I ask this because I feel the pains and the trauma most. I know how close we used to be when we were kids. I am the last and I know how beautiful it used to be but now its different as we have grown.

Am not saying that I don't carter for myself now or something of that nature but it feels not good when I remember how close we were. I feel the pain more as the last and for the fact that our parents are late, could it be the cause?

No, because I know families seem apart when they grow older even when the parents are still alive. I feel abandoned and less loved because its no more same.

Please why does a family seem less friendly and less close as they grow?
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by jackpot(f): 9:34pm On Nov 12, 2012
Richard.:
Why Do Brothers And Sisters Become Less Friendly And Less Close When They Grow?

I ask this because I feel the pains and the trauma most. I know how close we used to be when we were kids. I am the last and I know how beautiful it used to be but now its different as we have grown.

Am not saying that I don't carter for myself now or something of that nature but it feels not good when I remember how close we were. I feel the pain more as the last and for the fact that our parents are late, could it be the cause?

No, because I know families seem apart when they grow older even when the parents are still alive. I feel abandoned and less loved because its no more same.

Please why does a family seem less friendly and less close as they grow?
why do I feel they are seriously neglecting you financially? undecided

*no offence!* wink
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Ramcie(f): 9:35pm On Nov 12, 2012
We are actually closer now those days na Sparta we dey do for house. My siblings are so loving and caring now sef the thing dey tire me after the old days of beating the daylight out of me. As per the last kid, I know say I run my mouth wella so I got the beating I deserved from them though there where days nobody won the fight sha : grin till today my elder sis still calls me a mega tout cos I performed wonders then.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by UNLEASHED(m): 9:37pm On Nov 12, 2012
@OP
Make some money...if you didn't become more friendly, come here to slag me off

1 Like

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Nobody: 9:38pm On Nov 12, 2012
yeah i totally feel you. like i speak to my siblings only once a year. however we do email back and forth. but no phone calls grin grin
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by zangiff(m): 9:40pm On Nov 12, 2012
The problem will arise when sister refuses to like the younger one boyfriend/girlfriend or vice versa

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Yomieluv(m): 9:40pm On Nov 12, 2012
The bond can get weaker,cos everyone is trying to make ends meet,and view life differently
Morever,when most are married,they will be committed to their new family,which is natural.
But that shouldn't be an excuse not to communicate with one another,once in a while.
Like in my house,every member of the family must assemble at our mum's place,every december 25th.it kind of bridging the gap between us,and we kind of look forward to it.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Wallie(m): 9:41pm On Nov 12, 2012
I think the rivalry that was almost non-existent while growing up is now rearing its ugly head. Not only that, we actually now have clans that mostly only identify with each other!

Here’s the division in my family of seven (girl1, boy1, boy2, boy3, girl2, girl3, girl4):

Primary Clans
Girl1, boy1
Girl2, girl3
Girl4 (nobody to partner with cry)

Secondary Clans
Girl1, girl2
Girl3, girl4
Boy1, boy2
Boy2, boy3

My siblings in the same primary clan will ALWAYS take each other’s side during an argument with ANYBODY else. Boy3 is the rebel because he probably needed more hugs than he got from my mom…

1 Like

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by KINGwax(m): 9:42pm On Nov 12, 2012
I don't knw of your family, but it was when we were growing older that we got closer.
When we were younger, we were factions! We disagree...we never cooperated. 'Deals' can't be made as some wants to prove 'mummy's loyal'.
But we grew more matured, it was history. Infact, i can't count the number of times i've been called by most of them today
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by jackpot(f): 9:44pm On Nov 12, 2012
Richard.:
Why Do Brothers And Sisters Become Less Friendly And Less Close When They Grow?

I ask this because I feel the pains and the trauma most. I know how close we used to be when we were kids. I am the last and I know how beautiful it used to be but now its different as we have grown.

Am not saying that I don't carter for myself now or something of that nature but it feels not good when I remember how close we were. I feel the pain more as the last and for the fact that our parents are late, could it be the cause?

No, because I know families seem apart when they grow older even when the parents are still alive. I feel abandoned and less loved because its no more same.

Please why does a family seem less friendly and less close as they grow?
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Peterpan1(m): 9:47pm On Nov 12, 2012
Try and get this straight, siblings don't fall apart, at a level in Life, they face challenges and enter into lifelong union, the issue is that the attention that they give to themselves before will drop, bt take note they still Love each other
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by digitite: 9:49pm On Nov 12, 2012
Different philosophies on life.

Similar views leads to better understanding and co-operation.

Opposing views leads to misunderstanding and withdrawal.

The 1billion Naira question is: Who has the moral high ground?
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by MumZ: 9:49pm On Nov 12, 2012
Every1 tryn 2 best each oda. D 1 nt doin very well decides 1 member of d family dey winch am. As siblins grow, dey loose d innocence of children n d competition starts on who go hammer, marry, travel out, e.t.c, 1st. Especially in a polygamous home.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by DailyNews(m): 9:52pm On Nov 12, 2012
This happens mostly when they start getting married. Women love exclusive family system so they can hrough-handle the man as they wish without him having any family to run to, that's why you see them fighting for their husbands to be secluded from their families and friends, women are wonderful creatures when it comes to family divisibility
Richard.:
Why Do Brothers And Sisters Become Less Friendly And Less Close When They Grow?

I ask this because I feel the pains and the trauma most. I know how close we used to be when we were kids. I am the last and I know how beautiful it used to be but now its different as we have grown.

Am not saying that I don't carter for myself now or something of that nature but it feels not good when I remember how close we were. I feel the pain more as the last and for the fact that our parents are late, could it be the cause?

No, because I know families seem apart when they grow older even when the parents are still alive. I feel abandoned and less loved because its no more same.

Please why does a family seem less friendly and less close as they grow?
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by iamswizz(m): 9:55pm On Nov 12, 2012
*walks in*... 'Notices the slow question'.. *Walks out*
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by iammodel(m): 10:06pm On Nov 12, 2012
everyone has different destiny or goal, as we grow older we tend to realise this and the strife to achieve our separate destiny or goal in life is what i think, loosen the family ties.
Just get busy chasing ur dream and you wouldn't have time to think about all that. I'm the last in a family of 3, with brother and sister married and raising their families. So i'm just doing my thing, call or visit them when i like especially when i need financially assistance.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Shenez: 10:08pm On Nov 12, 2012
I feel your pain Op. This is whats happening in my house also.
Money have cover love. The hustle of life make love inferior.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by dayokanu(m): 10:09pm On Nov 12, 2012
Maybe they start having families of their own and their attention is now on other little ones who need it more

1 Like

Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by neversaynever(m): 10:14pm On Nov 12, 2012
I think it comes with maturity, it comes when guys starts having girlfriends and girls having responsibilities, one having things going for him/her while the other doesn't and starts feeling inferior and having low self esteem, it doesn't happen to all though, i'm a victim too and i think about it too, sometimes i think i'm harsh...it's not easy though but you have to create a balance, you might not be as close as before but still show that you care.
BTW, change is permanent.

(0) (1) (2) (Reply)

What Will You Be Doing This Friday Evening? / Can Abortion Ever Be Justified? / When Your Spouse Starts Getting Fat: what should you do?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See Nairalist and How To Advertise. 107
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.