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Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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What Becomes Of Kids In Orphanages When They Grow Up? / 20 Things You Must Teach Your Children Before They Grow Up / How & Why Do Siblings Fall Apart? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by markus1133: 10:20pm On Nov 12, 2012
maybe sometimes because of jealousy
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Nobody: 10:32pm On Nov 12, 2012
What a question. I am curremtly going thru a lulu cos of d same issue
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by DAvIt0(m): 10:34pm On Nov 12, 2012
Missy_B: It's not always the case. As far as I know, the bond grows stronger as they grow up. . . They usually spend childhood being rivals, esp. if they are in the same age range.

Parents play a great role in keeping siblings together. . . if you think their effort or the lack of it isn't helping, you could reach out to your siblings (more) often.

seconded
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Nobody: 10:36pm On Nov 12, 2012
One word: RESPONSIBILITY. As u get older, u have more things to worry about than when u were a kid and this would give u less time to bond with people like u used to do, not just family, even friends. Just think, how close are u to ur high skool and even uni friends? The issues of life tend to tear us apart as we age but it doesn't mean they don't still love u! I mean if u die today, they will still cry lol. But seriously, its part of growing up. We get more individualistic as we age and that perfectly normal
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by vislabraye(m): 10:46pm On Nov 12, 2012
Different strokes for different families.

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Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Hajiadubs: 10:49pm On Nov 12, 2012
You really touch a raw wound here. All I can say is never take your siblings for granted. A healthy relationship is about give and take. Check yourself, you may have gone wrong somewhere.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by tpia1: 10:52pm On Nov 12, 2012
true that.

besides, i dont really get all this whining.

never did worry overmuch about what i dont have- i find it much more rewarding to focus on what's available.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Nobody: 10:53pm On Nov 12, 2012
my siblings are caring and all, but im a royalassjerk +black sheep rolled into one and i've pissed away everyone who loves me embarassed
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by mctemmy(f): 11:05pm On Nov 12, 2012
Must you display your gnorance and foolishness on every thread am sorry you are not too endowed upstairs what's the meaning of this rubbish
Wallie: I think the rivalry that was almost non-existent while growing up is now rearing its ugly head. Not only that, we actually now have clans that mostly only identify with each other!

Here’s the division in my family of seven (girl1, boy1, boy2, boy3, girl2, girl3, girl4):

Primary Clans
Girl1, boy1
Girl2, girl3
Girl4 (nobody to partner with cry)

Secondary Clans
Girl1, girl2
Girl3, girl4
Boy1, boy2
Boy2, boy3

My siblings in the same primary clan will ALWAYS take each other’s side during an argument with ANYBODY else. Boy3 is the rebel because he probably needed more hugs than he got from my mom…
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Nobody: 11:06pm On Nov 12, 2012
I'm not experiencing this, tho I've observed that happening around me - my sibling and I re close and still retain the closeness maybe because we r jez 2? Or maybe how we were brought up to pull one another along? @OP: sori ehn.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by emmalezy(m): 11:13pm On Nov 12, 2012
Learn to get over it, coz its bond to happen, I and my elder bro have never been close rite for our 18 yrs.. He is older wit 2yrs and he is 25now.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Ezeufi: 11:17pm On Nov 12, 2012
Richard.:
Why Do Brothers And Sisters Become Less Friendly And Less Close When They Grow?

I ask this because I feel the pains and the trauma most. I know how close we used to be when we were kids. I am the last and I know how beautiful it used to be but now its different as we have grown.

Am not saying that I don't carter for myself now or something of that nature but it feels not good when I remember how close we were. I feel the pain more as the last and for the fact that our parents are late, could it be the cause?

No, because I know families seem apart when they grow older even when the parents are still alive. I feel abandoned and less loved because its no more same.

Please why does a family seem less friendly and less close as they grow?[color=#990000][/color]

Are you from a broken home My siblings and I could've never get any closer
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by mejai(m): 11:17pm On Nov 12, 2012
While growin up, my mum normally advice us dat no matter d love we have for each oda, once we start gettin married, it would neva be d same. And dats d truth. Wives and husbands frm different background and settings will start bringing in der own ideas and u must try 2 implement it in ur family and d crack sets in. Everybody will try to be d righteous one. It's so bad. And some siblings always have some ulterior motives. Some r like cain, others like judas.
It's so bad. But we r imperfect. If only we can correct people and let somethings pass-by, issues will be corrected. Also prayer is important and family reunion once in a year is gud.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by toyoC1(f): 11:18pm On Nov 12, 2012
Unfortunately, it is true "20 kids can't play together for 20 years".

Responsibility is one reason, another is marriage. When a sibling gets married its not as easy to tell them stuff or talk about issues the way you used to when you were both younger. The confidentiality is no longer as strong as it used to be. Sensitive info could be passed on to the spouse of that sibling.

Again, when they have kids or you have your own kids, your attention shifts from your old to your new family, especially if you're female.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by simple8: 11:38pm On Nov 12, 2012
This is a good and reasonable question, but some of u answered it any how or make an unguided statement. SIBLINS go apart while growing up owing to many factors.1. strive: As they grow up compitation for who to be honoured by parebts and people around. and this common when the boys are following one another closely in age.
2. Parents: some parents give preferancial treatment to their children and this brought envy.
3. wivies. 90% of problem in
families are caused by women.
my brother just pray that will restor the first love. It is better heard than to experience.

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Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Egbagirl(f): 11:41pm On Nov 12, 2012
I think it's the other way round for me. I suddenly grew close to my brothers. I guess we all just grew up and I dunno what happened. Life did, I guess. But growing up was a nightmare. Where we are right now is awesome. infact the whole fam in general just grew this bond all of a sudden. smiley
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by freecocoa(f): 12:09am On Nov 13, 2012
Ah! my siblings and I get closer everyday o.
There's no passing day that we don't talk to each other on phone if we aren't together, though I've noticed my elder sister is the one who reaches out more and tries to keep us connected,
she calls and says "have you talked to baby & bobby today?
She asks them the same, depending on who she calls first.
So you see? there has to be a reaching out to for people to stay connected.
OP reach out to your siblings if you miss them that much, there's no point in waiting for what you want to come to you, when you can go grab it, make it happen.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Theblessed(f): 1:00am On Nov 13, 2012
[b][size=16pt]Well, people have made various quality contributions here my own take is, have you checked your loyalties with respective members of your family, on highly important family issues?

Also, check your dis-respectfulness of your elder siblings? undecided undecided

Because, some siblings tends to overtly lean towards their favourite brother/sister thus, forgot that the others are part and parcel of him/her. They fail to recognise that, if anything happens to their favourite, the other siblings would be there to give him/her support or might not, based on his/her attitudes towards them e.g. knowing that his/her favourite is wrong on a family issue and dogmatically took sides against the other can put a gulf in his relationship with the other of his/her siblings.

This is exactly what is happening in our family today, with our youngest who had always supported our elderst in his selfish and wicked attitudes towards his juniors. Now, both of our parents are dead and gone, he is left on the lurch as he suddenly discovered that he's now a victim of our eldest jealousy and selfishness. Since our parents passing, he's now focusing entirely on his children and wife.

In situation as this, it is always good to be diplomatic with family issues instead of taking sides. Rather be neutral in family issues, and call a spade a spade than take sides - it can backfire when your siblings percieve your behaviour in a negative light and gang up on you, you will feel like a deserted grave yard (cold and lonely), honest and take note! grin grin grin

[/size][/b]

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Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Shankboye(m): 1:17am On Nov 13, 2012
Growing up, u start havin differences, by d time u all are getting married, u have more differences and soon or later, everything falls apart, onli Gods grace can keep u together..talking from experience

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Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by tpia1: 1:44am On Nov 13, 2012
Keep together in what way?

If someone needs the family bond so badly, they might as well continue living at home with the parents.

Not saying sibling affection isnt important, but there should be a balance, imo.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by packman: 2:37am On Nov 13, 2012
Revolva: Because survival of the fittest as we are all animals - all man for himself
WHICH KIND WILD ANIMAL BE THIS HOW DOES SURVIVAL AFFECT THE TOPIC ON GROUD
AND @ OP STAND WELL I FEEL YOU ARE LESS BUSY IF NOT YOU NO GO GET TYM FOR THAT SHIT SIBLING
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by poshboots: 4:46am On Nov 13, 2012
It is different for families. I personally come from a close knit family with both married and unmarried siblings. we call each other almost every day of the week even though we are all scattered around the world. Our mom made sure we depended on each other during our childhood so its kind of the norm to be there for each other whenever needed. We also started this thing of spending part of the summer and Christmas/new years together where you cherish each other and have fun. I think you should try reaching out. call them as often as possible, go visiting, be a cool uncle/aunt, just be there for them and I am sure they will probably get closer. It all depends on the views and beliefs though. Some people believe they don't need their families and they probably have a good reason for that but as for me my family is the most important thing in the world. Money and friends will always come and go but your family is forever your own.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Oppy1: 6:02am On Nov 13, 2012
Is not the matter of rivalry, you all know that as u grow older you must marry and give birth, you've went to so many places like schools, occassions, clubs and host of others even though at work you must have different folks, enganging in so many things.....so all this kept you aside from your siblings
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by bee444: 6:31am On Nov 13, 2012
Simple, because the silly mum tends to separate them by choosing side. Statistically, siblings who lived together until their mid-teens tends to grow in love as the years rolls by, while those separated from tender age becomes less friendly.

In all, mums plays a very vital role in relation to their childrens' friendliness. Divorced parents are likely to undergo this trend, where each party share equal responsibility and brings up the children separately.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by trublvr(f): 7:11am On Nov 13, 2012
Fact 1: It's not compulsory that your siblings should be your best friends
Fact 2: Time changes everyone. You are not the same person you were at this time last week, but you will not understand this until next week. The changes are subtle, but they are real.
Fact 3: In every human relationship, there is one person doing the shitting, and the other eating the shit. The roles reverse from time to time, but they are constant in any dynamic involving 2 or more persons. Its just the way life is.

If you miss the closeness, why not make the effort to reach out to your siblings and cultivate that closeness once again?
Maybe they're waiting for you to reach out to them. Often we don't know how to behave towards our younger ones, because our minds can't accept what our hearts see- that they are now grown adults with lives away from our nuclear family unit.
So, make the effort. Friends are wonderful, but there is nothing like a brother or sister when life is tough.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Nobody: 7:25am On Nov 13, 2012
Honestly we are bound to be close because we are raised together. Because of our young age we are stuck around one another therefore we become adjusted to each other's ways/flaws.

But when we come of age and start feeling "independent" and start to discover our individuality, that's when we start bumping heads because we are no longer obligated to deal with one another.

I hope I make sense. undecided lol
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by AVISENNA: 7:43am On Nov 13, 2012
Challanges , reponsibilities , new family ,too much or no money at all .Somehow everyone seems to stay afar off . Nothing to loose sleep about . Once in a while get togethers will and could help
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Terseer(m): 8:02am On Nov 13, 2012
Mum Z :
Every1 tryn 2 best each oda. D 1 nt doin very well decides 1 member of d family dey winch am. As siblins grow, dey loose d innocence of children n d competition starts on who go hammer, marry, travel out, e.t.c, 1st. Especially in a polygamous home.
You speak my mind bro! Most people will pretend about this but competition is one factor that sets siblings apart. It generally leads to jealousy and witch hunting...
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Rooneyboy(m): 8:36am On Nov 13, 2012
Revolva: Because survival of the fittest as we are all animals - all man for himself

this is where I stand too.
ALL MAN FOR HIMSELF.
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by Rooneyboy(m): 8:39am On Nov 13, 2012
esere826: @Op

yesterday's gone
I guess that's just the way it is

Our little world initially made up only of our immediate family -dad mum and siblings
Sooon expands with time -boyfriends, girlfriends, ex's, hubbys, friends, in-laws, office colleagues, goals, children

our emotional pool is finite,
there is only so much emotions we can invest even on our immediate family members

I guess what we eternally owe them
....is loyalty
I like this post man .
Re: Why Do Siblings Become Less Friendly When They Grow? by UjSizzle(f): 8:48am On Nov 13, 2012
Most times i see my siblings once a year or not at all, and phone calls come in maybe once in 2wks or more. Notwithstanding, we all remain loyal to one another and know that when the other is in need of help-financially,emotionally or otherwise- a phone call's all that needed to solve it. That's loyalty and it's really all that matters.

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