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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate (24832 Views)
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Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Gudit: 9:27pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
the control the parents have over the media cannot be compared with the ones the teachers have because they meet with the government directly to voice their opinion. parents are not given the chance to meet with the government but only with the teachers. the teachers are the link to the government. They are the middle man and we know how important a middle man is. Mavia1: |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Asantewaa1: 9:28pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Sheba1: Asantewaa1 as a sane parent, why will i allow a child that is less than 10 yrs of age to go to a boarding house, then, if i allow dt, i have already started to fail as a parent to create time for my child for what we will both reap d reward in d future. 2. Why will i not as a parent monitor what my child will watch for d 7 hrs hrs left for me,i will definately use d time judiciously to ensure dt i educate my child properly on issues dt may affent him/her in d future, like d one we are trashing now. May be u dont even know, children dont go to school for d 7days/week nor for d 365days /year, so dt give me d opportunity of having more time to educate him/her. 3. What will i be doing with a provocative video in my house and even, if i have one, why will i allow my child to watch it, knowing dt it wont have positive effect on his life, or why do u think d film censors always advise on "parental guidance" at d beginning of every film to be watched? The media, teachers and d religious sector has got nothing to do if parents have performed their parental duties as expected. D best they can do is to remind them of what their parent have done. So, any parent who fail to educate their children on d risks involved in engaging in teen sex is to be blamed. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Pharoh: 9:29pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
These are the rebuttals for Gudit incase you missed it @Mavia There was a young girl of 9 who confided in me on how she was abused by her uncle who was living with them. I encouraged her to tell her parents about it. After much persuasion, she agreed. Don't you think she as afraid of that same reaction from her parents that's why she came to you? Don't you think her parents would have listened more to her teachers than her? Due to the fact that she is a small girl and may have an over imaginative mind? If she was close to her teachers won't she have confided in them? Instead the teachers of today make themselves unapproachable and distant. The parents signed her up for deliverance in the church, thinking she was possessed. If the church had a counsellor won't they have listened to the young girl and counselled the parents? If the government had provided a help line for sexually abused children as seen in some countries wouldn't she have been helped? Where are the parents? They have left their primary responsibility in search of money, pleasure, fame, etc. Who are they working for? They usually claim it is for the sake of their children. We have more incidences of parents violating children than teachers. What about that? Teachers are NOT magicians. They are not omnipresent or omniscient. They have about 25 students they deal with. Some schools even have about 40 pupils or more in a class. Do you really expect a single teacher to monitor the sexual activities of 40 children? Common, let’s be realistic. Will the teacher be efficient? No. As a parent, you have less than 25 children to deal with and you still want to pass the bulk of the blame on the teachers? Doesn’t it sound ridiculous to you? Why do you think that in most schools, teachers are 2 to 3 in a class? Teachers are trained to deal with this issues. What do you expect of a father in a polygamous setting? If you cannot expect a trained and paid teacher to monitor 25 kids how do you expect a single father who is untrained to monitor his kids?
If you would teach and understand her better, why send her to school to learn biology and anatomy when you are quite familiar with the female anatomy? Parents (the sane ones), cannot violate their children. Who uses parental controls for teenagers? They are smarter than that. Most times they are the ones who teach the parents how to operate the TV I’ve had opportunities to work with children for years, and I’ve come to realize that at ages 1-3, they tend to dance to interesting tunes that catch their attention. You can manipulate them easily. They are very vulnerable. “This is when we need you parents, not when we’ve started growing baby beards.” If we say that parents alone are solely responsible for their children and not the media or government, then government should stop scholarships given to children afterall, they are not responsible for them Thank you. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Mavia1: 9:29pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Gudit:If only parents cared enough about their children...This is why a child should be free to report cases of suspected sexual activities by teachers to their parents. I don't understand why parents would trust a teacher. You are the parent. He/she is your child. Your blood. Your pride. Your future. Your investment. Your product. Your baby. Your joy. Your heart. Your everything. Why should you trust a teacher with this precious gift? Teachers should be monitored by parents. It is not the teacher's fault, it is because you (parent) have decided to close your eyes. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Gudit: 9:30pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
if home schooling had so many advantages, trust me, many parents would opt to home school their kids than to spend money paying school fees. why pay someone else to do the job when you can do it yourself? Mavia1: |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Gudit: 9:34pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
let me help you understand why parents would trust a teacher: it is because they have one through years of training on how to understand children. the parents themselves were taught by teachers. everybody passed through a teacher. the president passed through a teacher. the doctor passed through a teacher. Obama passed through a teacher. we are all able to type here because our various teachers did their jobs. Mavia1: |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Mavia1: 9:39pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Gudit:Did you say MOST schools have two teachers in a class? I bet you mean some private schools. I've visited schools with about 52 students to just a teacher, and God help the students if the teacher is the aggressive type. The few schools i've seen with 2 teachers in a class are top private schools. I know this because i've been a part an inspection on Nigerian schools. Even the one with 25 students to 2 teachers are still struggling to understand all of them because they have different learning styles and diverse issues from home. This is where Differentiation comes in, of which many teachers are not even passionate enough to listen or understand these children. This is why every parent should be held responsible for Sex Education. The child is theirs and even answer their names, not the teacher's name. Again, i blame the parents. Moreover, a father does not need Formal training before he can raise his own son? He has enough experience, etc. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Cuddlemii: 9:39pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Please debaters start rounding up, at exactly, 9:50pm the Judges, followed by the members of the audience, can start asking all the debaters questions. Thanks! |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Mavia1: 9:41pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Gudit: let me help you understand why parents would trust a teacher: it is because they have one through years of training on how to understand children. the parents themselves were taught by teachers. everybody passed through a teacher. the president passed through a teacher. the doctor passed through a teacher. Obama passed through a teacher. we are all able to type here because our various teachers did their jobs.I disagree. I am here because of what my parents did. They empowered my teachers. How did everybody get to the stage of having a teacher? Weren't they given birth to or trained by someone? Their parents. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Mavia1: 9:43pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Gudit: .Just the same way we have good teachers and bad teachers |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Gudit: 9:44pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Moreover, a father does not need Formal training before he can raise his own son? He has enough experiencewow! so even a first time father is very experienced at parenting? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Tamar1: 9:45pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
[quote author=Boudicca] agreed, parents have the first responsibility but does.that mean sole or greater reaponsibility? no!! because they do not have the.prerequisites to continue sex ed. the child is theirs but doesn't belong to them, they belongs.to us all... we feel the impact and suffer the consequences, they are our children. the.one.who raises the child is called the parent not the.one who begets.it |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Gudit: 9:46pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
which many teachers are not even passionate enough to listen or understand these children Thank you for understanding. so you agree that teachers are to blame. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Mavia1: 9:47pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Gudit:Biology? Anatomy? We've had these subjects for ages, yet cases of rape, abortion, incest, etc. are on the increase. Obviously, these subjects have not helped in anyway. Even if you bring a living human being to a laboratory and carefully analyze all the sexual organs, if the parents do not teach their children through life experiences they've had and through the full development of their brains, the teachers work in vain. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Tamar1: 9:50pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
boudicca if i were to agree with you for a nano second tha t parents are to blame, going by your definition of the tem "parent", are you not saying that government, schs and media arr.to blame since they are caregivers, protectors, nurturers and even counsel a and guide ? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Mavia1: 9:50pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Well, Gudit, you've raised lots of points and lots of questions that time could not permit me to answer all. I'm sorry about this. However, no matter what a teacher does or does not do, the parent is at the central part of a child and is therefore responsible for anything that pertains to the child, especially Sex Education. This goes for media and government as well. Thank you. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Cuddlemii: 9:53pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
It's 9:50pm, the Judges, followed by the members of the audience, can start asking all the debaters questions. Please start with debaters like Boudicca & Sheba1 whose questions were not answered on time, before questioning Mavia, Gudit, Tamar & Asantewaa. @Boudicca & Sheba, apologies for not been able to participate in the rebuttal rounds, you will be scored based on the quality of questions you asked and the way you answer the judges and audience Thanks! |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Asantewaa1: 9:54pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
@sheba1 1. Do u agree that, it is not everybody that will have access to education, so what is d fate of those who do not have d opportunity of going to school, if sex education is solely d duty of d teachers? 2. Yes, morals are falling, everything is upside down, i agree with u, but who do u think should be responsible for this? 3. How many families have access to TV, DSTV, blackberry, smartphone, etc. And for those who have access to them, who made them available for the teenagers? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Gudit: 9:58pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Mavia1: Well, Gudit, you've raised lots of points and lots of questions that time could not permit me to answer all. I'm sorry about this. However, no matter what a teacher does or does not do, the parent is at the central part of a child and is therefore responsible for anything that pertains to the child, especially Sex Education. This goes for media and government as well. Thank you. that is where i disagree with you because a parent is at the central part of the child but the teachers are the ones formally given the responsibility to instill morals in this children as seen in my earlier citation. parents only have actual authority but seeing as they are not computers and so cannot multitask, they ow passed ostensible authority to the teachers. thank you |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by maclatunji: 9:59pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
@Boudicca, don't you feel that parents are a product of the society and any failures they have in terms of "sex education" is primarily society's failure? @Sheba, what is the primary role of parents in the sexual enlightenment of their children? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Cuddlemii: 10:08pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Judges & The members of the audience are now free to question debaters. Thank you |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Sheba1: 10:09pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Asantewaa1: so what happens to kids who go 2 boarding schs above 10yrs,we aren't restricting it To an an age limit u know If u read my stats carefully,the 7hrs was shared btw parents & tv,& for a parent that works 10-12hrs a day,the child would b asleep b4 the parent is back I neva said the parent wld allow the kids watch it,d child cld get it 4 a friend,cld walk pass a video store which is showing it & all that. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by SisiKill1: 10:12pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Gudit: the control the parents have over the media cannot be compared with the ones the teachers have because they meet with the government directly to voice their opinion. parents are not given the chance to meet with the government but only with the teachers. the teachers are the link to the government. They are the middle man and we know how important a middle man is. Gudit, don't you think it would be much easier for a parent to just pull the plugs. . .I mean the plugs to the TV, the computer, the phone etc? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Gudit: 10:18pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
so are you saying that because you dont want your child to be corrupted by things that "may" be broadcasted by the media, you make them miss out on information entirely thereby putting them in the dark and discouraging their knowledge of current affairs? i think it would be easier if these kids already know what is right from wrong as taught by their teachers and also as taught by the religious bodies. Sisi_Kill: 1 Like |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by SisiKill1: 10:18pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Mavia1:Mavia1, studies have shown that not all adults who have babies are ready to be a parent. . . not to talk of a teenager. If she knew what she was doing, she won't be pregnant at 16. Won't we be indirectly asking for the circle ignorance to continue if we left the upbringing of her child to her alone? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Boudicca: 10:19pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Tamar1 [quote]agreed, parents have the first responsibility but does.that mean sole or greater reaponsibility? no!! because they do not have the.prerequisites to continue sex ed. the child is theirs but doesn't belong to them, they belongs.to us all... we feel the impact and suffer the consequences, they are our children. the.one.who raises the child is called the parent not the.one who begets.it[quote] if the child is theirs, he/she surely belongs to the parent first before anyone else. and what do you mean that parents do not have the prerequisite to continue sex education? are you saying parents are not educated enough? and for the records, one who begets and one who raises a child are both parent. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Sheba1: 10:22pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Asantewaa1: @sheba1I neva said it was solely the duty of the teachers,did I? Like I clearly stated,I said it is the media & educational institutions,in mordern day they spend much more time wit the kids Virtually every home has a tv,if nt a dstv but at least a cable network,its even much more easier now because u now have people connecting cable as low as 500 naira,most times its the parent who buy these phones,bt not for having access to all that,if the media didn't put it out there how else would they get it on their fones? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by SisiKill1: 10:23pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Gudit: so are you saying that because you dont want your child to be corrupted by things that "may" be broadcasted by the media, you make them miss out on information entirely thereby putting them in the dark and discouraging their knowledge of current affairs? i think it would be easier if these kids already know what is right from wrong as taught by their teachers and also as taught by the religious bodies.I agree that information is necessary, however you laid out a plan that seems somewhat far reaching. . .where the teachers and the government control what the media should broadcast. Considering how long these kinds of tasks take come into being, don't you think it would be easier if the parents just stepped in and took control of what their children are watching right now? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Asantewaa1: 10:24pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Sheba1: [color=#990000]so what happens to kids who go 2 boarding schs above 10yrs,we aren't restricting it To an an age limit u know as far as im concerned, i dont suppot d idea of children that is less than 10 yrs of age to be in boarding house, any parent that do that is already a failure, because, he/she will not be able to perform his/her parental duties as expected of them, so for a parent to be relevant in d life of their children, they just have to create time for the upbringing, monitoring and educating their children. We are all product of our parents, when a child turns out well, d praises go to d parent, and if it is otherwise, d blame also go to d parents. So, as parents, it our duty to give sex education to our children as early as possible. Failure to do that, hence, d parents should be blamed. As regard TV watching, when a child is properly brought up, he/she knows d type of film or video to watch. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Mavia1: 10:24pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill:If she can't bring up the child, then she is not qualified to be referred to as a parent, according to the definition of parent i gave. I was trying to prove to Gudit that the only way she could refer to the 16-year-old as a parent is if she fulfilled the condition of bringing up her child. |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by SisiKill1: 10:28pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Mavia1:So what do we call her and who should be responsible for her child's upbringing? |
Re: Who Is To Blame When A Child Has Sex Without Proper Knowledge - Live Debate by Pharoh: 10:31pm On Nov 25, 2012 |
Anyone can throw questions at the debaters at this point before we move to the judges scoring phase. |
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