A lot of women these days complain that their husbands do rape them anytime they say no to sex.
Do you really think that such cases should be treated in the court like other rape cases?
I mean, is it right to give a man 20 years to life because he slept with his wife by force?

Rape is rape.  These cases cannot be proven most of the time unless there is overwhelming evidence of brutality to that area and other affiliates.  Having said that, you really cannot differentiate the real cases from the false ones since------------ ------------some like it harder and faster.


_{Bloody Mary!  Ike and Tina Turner style! Hmmmmm!}

How could anyone tell? His word against hers. Sometimes the men look like the victims.  Or surveillance camera perhaps. Who knows?


Given the scope and realm of domestic abuse--anything is possible sha.  But proving it is the problem. If it can be proven in any court of law--I'll say: 


_{Hang him--till he shits! Same goes for the woman, since some women also rape their husbands.}

Rape is rape. These cases cannot be proven most of the time unless there is overwhelming evidence of brutality to that area and other affiliates. Having said that, you really cannot differentiate the real cases from the false ones since------------ ------------some like it harder and faster.


Bloody Mary! Ike and Tina Turner style! Hmmmmm!

How could anyone tell? His word against hers. Sometimes the men look like the victims. Or surveillance camera perhaps. Who knows?


Given the scope and realm of domestic abuse--anything is possible sha. But proving it is the problem. If it can be proven in any court of law--I'll say:


Hang him--till he shits! Same goes for the woman, since some women also rape their husbands.

Installing a camera in your home is gross, I think it's better you install a jack knife under your bed to chop off his peewee whenever he pounces on you without invitation.

Do you think Nigerian courts are yet ready to entertain such complaints?

If you divorce him the first time he tries it, it will be the last time. Women are just too passive;
don't you know that if you let him rape you he's also going to rape your daughters when they mature?

hotfunmi:
I mean, is it right to give a man 20 years to life because he slept with his wife by force?

I think 2-3 years in jail with extensive counseling is ok for any rape case. If there is additional violence involved, you can add another 4-5 years for "battery". If he holds her hostage for an extended period, add another 5-7 years for kidnapping.

The critical issue is not the severity of the punishment but the likelihood of conviction. Nobody wants to spend 6 months in prison, not to talk of 2-3 years. Most women would not testify against their husbands if the punishment is deemed too severe. Afterall, they were lovers. But if the punishment is appropriate to the crime, then they might.

Having said that, I don't see how forcing your wife to have sex with you could be seen as less evil than doing the same to your neighbour or sister or girlfriend, provided you understand that the wife is not your property. Is your wife not a woman, too? Why should a man rape his wife when he won't rape other women? Are other women more deserving of respect than his beloved wife? Is she a slave, animal or piece of property?

as long as mothers do not educate their daughters that they have rights,
men will go on raping their wives
as long as a woman is dependant on her husband he will do with her what he wants.
in many cases even if she runs back to her fathers house , they will just send her back

@mamaput

do adult women need to be educated by thier mothers of thier rights?they should know,it is common sense not rocket science,

and to the post, i believe anytime a man tries to jump into the pleasure island un-invited and the woman is not having it, then he should have the decency to accept and let his raging patonga lay low(this doesnt mean the woman should go all out denying him all the time), frustration breeds aggression and dat may lead to rape, and once shez been raped, i guess there should be options, for it to be dealt with in the court of law, get a divorce, go to the papers or she can choose to keep mum abt it!

nigerian mentality is dat a woman should be submissive to her husband (although some people are starting to have a different perception about this) and this may pose a stumbling block for the matter to be taken serious especially in places like Nigeria, marital rape going to a court in Nigeria?i doubt it and even if it does, i dont see years been handed down as punishment, unless the judge is a woman that has suffered the same fate before, word!

no they should educate their daughters when they are still small

@mamaput

fair enough

Husband raping a wife? Hmmmmm wonders shall never end. Why should a woman tell the husband no, in the first place eh! Abi she did not know that sex is the main 'course' in marriage? Eh! kai! When you refuse each other (sexually) the bible actually calls it defrauding so, maybe the brother does not want to be defrauded and so, he is just claiming his possesion.

Okay seriously, if the woman is not in the mood and the husband lacks the 'touch' to make her change her mind, she should just allow him, and asked him to be quick about it! And there would be peace in the land

@All,

it is not ok for a man to force his wife to have sex with him BUT it is also not ok for a woman to refuse her husband sex!!!

sex is an integral part of a marriage and it is an entitlement of both partners in the marriage relationship.

just as the man should not refuse the woman sex, the woman should also not refuse the man sex whenever either of them demands it. the problem comes when either of the partners (most cases, the woman) try to use sex as a weapon or a leverage to get their way on some other issue of contention in the marriage. i'm not a pastor but if you put a religious and cultural spin on this you will find that refusing to have sex with your husband in a marriage relationship is a misuse of sex and that leads to frustration in the man and that might culminate into what you guys are calling rape

The Bible said a woman should not deny the Husband the pleasure

of her body, why should they?[/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

did the bible say its ok to force her too.

This is a very very grey area. There is no clear answer. Rape is already never clear cut. People make up stories people are too ashamed to come forwad etc. At the end of the day no one should be causing harm to the other.

If a woman is so called raped by her husband and she stays with him how do you call that rape or is this rape an act of domestic violence is so you should not stay.

When you are raped by someone your not in a relationship with you dont kiss and make up so why stay with a crazied husband?

We women are not blamless some like to tease even tho sex isn't always something we want. Sometimes you prefer not to get pounded like yam men often dont understand this so do we need better understanding?

So lets get this straight,

walcolm:

@All,

it is not ok for a man to force his wife to have sex with him BUT it is also not ok for a woman to refuse her husband sex!!!

sex is an integral part of a marriage and it is an entitlement of both partners in the marriage relationship.

just as the man should not refuse the woman sex, the woman should also not refuse the man sex whenever either of them demands it. the problem comes when either of the partners (most cases, the woman) try to use sex as a weapon or a leverage to get their way on some other issue of contention in the marriage. i'm not a pastor but if you put a religious and cultural spin on this you will find that refusing to have sex with your husband in a marriage relationship is a misuse of sex and that leads to frustration in the man and that might culminate into what you guys are calling rape

abi @walcolm

Refer to the bible on 1 Corinthians Ch 7:1-7 talking about marriage.

havent said it all,i think men should understand when your woman says no.except the woman has a track record of saying no always,even at that,issues should be sorted out without the man resorting to forceful penetration.therefore,rape is rape in as much it is done without the consent of one of the parties involved and should therefore be discouraged especially among the menfolk.

WHY SHOULD A WOMAN SAY NO TO THE HUSBAND EVEN IN THE MOST STRESSFUL INSTANCES WHILE THERE IS LOVE BETWEEN BOTH PARTIES LOVE MAKING CAN STILL BE CONDOLED. WHEN EXCUSES STARTS TO COME IN THEN THE LOVE BOND SHOULD BE CHECKED. MY PERSONAL OPINION PLS!!!!!!!!!

Nascon:

WHY SHOULD A WOMAN SAY NO TO THE HUSBAND EVEN IN THE MOST STRESSFUL INSTANCES WHILE THERE IS LOVE BETWEEN BOTH PARTIES LOVE MAKING CAN STILL BE CONDOLED. WHEN EXCUSES STARTS TO COME IN THEN THE LOVE BOND SHOULD BE CHECKED. MY PERSONAL OPINION PLS!!!!!!!!!

because it is her body.
can you make even one hair of her body.

the question isnt why the woman refuses her husband. even if she's turned to stone as far as sex is involved, rape means the guy is a beast and he's likely done it before she married him

marriage isnt slavery. a man who'd force his wife (or anyone else) to have sex when they dont want to is a creature lower than a snake.

he probably would beat her too.

time to take time off to think about the relationship. personally, i couldnt live in the same house with him

Marriage is a partnership not a sentence.  Not everyday you feel well enough for rumpy pumpy!  You men think with your D I C K S 24/7.

A woman has a right to say No if shes not in the mood.  And if you want to force her dont cry when she lies there like a wooden stick.  

And men wonder why almost all women have faked orgasms!

@Lady T

Are you married?? If not, would you marry me and you can't have it whenever you want it ! No pressure from me, sweetheart !!

. especially when my eyes see a fine lady like Lady T.

excuse me but if you dont feel like having sex then you dont feel like having sex.
people should be considerate when a partner is not up to it, is sick or has had a shitty day. no be by force abeg! After whining and grovelling and threatening the next step is not to jump on her or him for that matter and take by force.

payback is a itch with a huge B preceeding IT

[size=18pt]hey na wahh ohhhh, you Naira Land pple shaaaaaaaaaaa, Hope say una wey una dey talk don marry shaaa, cos the EXPERIENCE na helele, Make WIFE they refuse him husband that sweetest thing in life.Shey una no think say the woman wan send him HUSBAND go meet the wolves wey they for town wey dey ready 24/7 for the thing and them no dey tire ohh??
Abi wetin u talk, my people,

Hahahahahahahah[/size]

My people,
Na complex due to childhood abuse.
Wife battery no been start today.

I assure u, that counselling will cure
such men.
But u women sef, y deny ur husband of
his conjugal rights

LOL@ Sweet T you need Jesus in your life

Guys you will never understand what its like to be a female and have the female body.  Unlike your trouser snakes which you can stick into any hole and get off.  We women are much more sensitive!  My mother always said your first child is your husband.  I thought it was a joke!  Now I know.  Sometimes I'm having a female moment and I just want a hug and a kiss.

Its not everytime you want to spread em!

Teskyman this font is too big! LOL

@Lady T

So you have already have a child??

can someone define a "female moment"?

its dat moment when all u want is a hug and a kiss. nothing more.







[s]does that mean i've had female moments cos thats all i sometimes feel like getting, 'hugs and kisses'[/s]

No babies yet SweetT I'm too selfish at the moment to have a baby I want to travel and see things with my HUSBAND. 

4Him When I say female moment I mean talking holding hands without having my breasts rubbed or anythng else  .  I just want to be comforted!

LadyT:

No babies yet SweetT I'm too selfish at the moment to have a baby I want to travel and see things.

4Him When I say female moment I mean talking holding hands without having my breasts rubbed or anythng else . I just want to be comforted!

to deny me that right is a criminal offense.

Why is that 4him?