Marital rape is nothing but an aberration of terms. I am happy some of our girls/ladies here have been bold enough to repudiate this. The access that marriage grants the man is unconditional and non-negotiable.

When the concept of marital rape hit the media some years ago, it was something to laugh about. Tragically some people have gone ahead to legislate on this and criminalize a few unfortunate innocent men. It seems the west has gone too far forward that the only way to go now is backward. If this continues a stage will come where you have to seek a written consent before love-making just to be sure.

If I am a judge the woman will have a case if only she proves that the husband used a baseball bat instead of his d**k.Otherwise its domestic violence without any reference to the genitals over which the man and not the judge has the sole right to adjudicate. The woman of course has a right to correct this. It is called divorce. Our ladies so look before you jump in. It may be fun to say 'waow my dude is a beast in bed' during the occasional pre-marital rumpus. Remember marriage is for life.

by kola
IN MARRIAGE,THERE IS NOTHING LIKE `RAPE`.
HAVE YOU NOT HEARD THE SAYING THAT SAYS:
FOR THIS REASON A MAN AND A WOMAN SHALL LEAVE THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS,
JOINED TOGETHER & SHALL BECOME ONE.
THIS REASON IN THE CONTEXT IS FOR THE MAN & THE WOMAN TO MAKE SURE
THAT THE TWO THINGS UNDER THEM DO NOT RESIST EACH OTHER SINCE THEY ARE ONE.
THAT IS THE MAIN REASON WHY A WOMAN IS BEING HANDED OVER TO THE MAN SO AS
TO KEEP THE TWO THINGS CLOSER .

Where did the bible say "rape her if she refuses"?

@hotfunmi,
THE WORD `RAPE`DOES NOT EXIST AGAIN SINCE THEY ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE.
THE WOMAN SHALL BE GUILTY OF AN OFFENCE CALLED` DENIAL`IN THE INSTITUTION
THAT PERMITS THE TWO THINGS (UNDER) TO BECOME ONE.
WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NO ONE PUT ASUNDER.
WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER ARE THOSE TWO THINGS UNDER THE
HUSBAND AND THE WIFE,THEREFOFORE THE WOMAN SHOULD PUT NO ASUNDER.

By Pennywise,
Marital rape is nothing but an aberration of terms. I am happy some of our girls/ladies here have been bold enough to repudiate this. The access that marriage grants the man is unconditional and non-negotiable.

Unbelievable. Can you show me any section in the marriage contract that affords the woman a chance to sign her life away to these bullocks called men? How can you even begin to defend the bolded part of your statement? marriage means 'cojoining' and not a woman leasing her body to a man.

@hotfunmi,
THE WORD `RAPE`DOES NOT EXIST AGAIN SINCE THEY ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE.
THE WOMAN SHALL BE GUILTY OF AN OFFENCE CALLED` DENIAL`IN THE INSTITUTION
THAT PERMITS THE TWO THINGS (UNDER) TO BECOME ONE.
WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NO ONE PUT ASUNDER.
WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER ARE THOSE TWO THINGS UNDER THE
HUSBAND AND THE WIFE,THEREFOFORE THE WOMAN SHOULD PUT NO ASUNDER.

Saying no to sex has nothing to do with asunder. It means that I cannot open my legs now and it should remain that way. Asunder is when a third party like mother inlaw comes to dictate to his balless son on how to live with his wife.

@hotfunmi,
EXCEPT YOU HAVE A GENUINE REASON ,OF COURSE WHICH COULD BE ONCE IN A BLUE MOON
as a married woman YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE READY TO GET YOUR LEGS OPEN. IT IS YOUR PRIMARY
ASSIGNMENT. MIND YOU ,
FOR ONCE IN A BLUE MOON EXCUSE, NO SENSIBLE MAN WILL FORCE THE WIFE,PERIOD.

@Hotfunmi

You have to be hot for real, defending the indefensible the way you've done. But you need to note that no marriage contract is complete without joining the man and woman as one. And the man being the head of the family, it goes without saying----

I realy agree that sex between couples should be on the agreement and enjoyment of both of them. I also agree that some men atimes force themselves on the wife in sexual relation without full consent of the wife.
That does not mean the wife should take the husband to court for rape. If your husband is jailed for some (months) or years, whom will you be doing it with when you want sex? Does it show you as a good woman that you jailed your husband? If he comes out, will you be living with him in the same house? I don't understand. It is purely unafrican.
Wait pls, are you saying the man should write application with official stamp before you give him sex?  If you come up with endless excuse and the man decide to catch fun outside the house, you will be accusing him of infidelity,If he decide to come home and have the warmth of his bed, he becomes too demanding and unwanted headache to his wife. Then what will he do? If he decides to marry another wife, the first wife becomes jealous. Now, if you are the man, what will you do? Advice him pls.
There is no reason why a woman should take his husband to court on a rape case. If so, she should not complain if the husband founds another caring and charming lady outside.

That does not mean the wife should take the husband to court for rape. If your husband is jailed for some (months) or years, whom will you be doing it with when you want sex? Does it show you as a good woman that you jailed your husband? If he comes out, will you be living with him in the same house?

why will he do it in the first place?. does it portray him as a good man.

I don't understand. It is purely unafrican.

what is African? raping and subduing women?

Wait please, are you saying the man should write application with official stamp before you give him sex?  If you come up with endless excuse and the man decide to catch fun outside the house, you will be accusing him of infidelity,If he decide to come home and have the warmth of his bed, he becomes too demanding and unwanted headache to his wife. Then what will he do? If he decides to marry another wife, the first wife becomes jealous. Now, if you are the man, what will you do? Advice him please.

Retire your privates

(why will he do it in the first place?. does it portray him as a good man)

That does not make him a good man, but recall that two wrongs cannot make a right, no matter how directly opposite that may be.

(what is African? raping and subduing women?)

In African culture, a man does not rape his wife. Mind u, if a man refuse to make love to his wife for a while, it will cause katakata in the house. Sex in a binding force between couples.


(Retire your privates)

I will go on retirement when i am tired and not in my very active days

For those who think husbands can't rape their wives,you need help.
There's a thread here on nairaland by a wife whose husband slams his dogonyaro into her rectum despite her protests
That is sodomy and rape.

efuah:

LMAO what a thread

I can't deny my husband sex, and he will never force me too. . . if am tired and he's still begging, behaves like he's crying. . . . what can i do? Lie there like motionless object n watch tv through like AJ said. . . afterwards, clean maself

I am with you here.
I love my man enough to do it even when I don't feel like it and when I'm not up for it,he is man enough to wait a couple of hours more
Good communication is the key.

Retire privates? That is husbandicidal.

babyosisi:

For those who think husbands can't rape their wives,you need help.
There's a thread here on nairaland by a wife whose husband slams his dogonyaro into her rectum despite her protests
That is sodomy and rape.

I am with you here.
I love my man enough to do it even when I don't feel like it and when I'm not up for it,he is man enough to wait a couple of hours more
Good communication is the key.

@Babyosisi. Sodomy connotes same sex rectal activity. I am not sure there is a name yet for what you mean.You can always extrapolate though.

I think insanity is gradually sticking in here.

What did nature teach us? What did our fore fathers teach us? Where then is the issue of submission in a woman? This explains why we have more unmarried women now.

If a woman wanted to be left alone, why did she get married? When a woman decides to use sex as a tool of wickedness against a man should that be permitted?

This must be the very reason adultery will never end. Many married women keep saying no and want the man to take it just like that?

Who married who? the man or the woman? Who paid the others bride price? Please, the man bought the woman off her parents, that was why he spent his huge amount of money for the celebration, or did any woman foot those bill?

Please a woman is a mans property once she is married and she totally submits to his will.

How many of us have the opinion to question our nature and then change who we are? Have we gone this blind that we now question life?

Please we should know the world we live in, then we can say something.

Women, if you want your man to cheat on you, then deny him sex and tell us which is better, sharing him with other women or giving it to him yourself?

You don't need to be a sex slave to some doggone man inorder to prove how good you are as a wife. Good wife/husband is relative and dependent on lots of factors. The truth is that men exploit women in Africa and  expect those women to carry the burden because they'll be rewarded with a goddamn vocabulary called 'good wife' or in the case of  christians, 'virtuos woman'.

@ hotfunmi,I can tell you are not married.
The word sex slave has absolutely no place in a loving relationship.
you make it sound like sex is some dreaded,heinous chore for a woman.
It is central to a good marriage whether you like it or not
Like you,I'm a Christian and the Bible admonishes that a woman and a man should not starve one another.

read this.

1Cr 7:2   Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

1Cr 7:3   Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

1Cr 7:4   The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1Cr 7:5   Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

forbidden5:

I think insanity is gradually sticking in here.

What did nature teach us? What did our fore fathers teach us? Where then is the issue of submission in a woman? This explains why we have more unmarried women now.

If a woman wanted to be left alone, why did she get married? When a woman decides to use sex as a tool of wickedness against a man should that be permitted?

This must be the very reason adultery will never end. Many married women keep saying no and want the man to take it just like that?

Who married who? the man or the woman? Who paid the others bride price? Please, the man bought the woman off her parents, that was why he spent his huge amount of money for the celebration, or did any woman foot those bill?

Please a woman is a mans property once she is married and she totally submits to his will.

How many of us have the opinion to question our nature and then change who we are? Have we gone this blind that we now question life?

Please we should know the world we live in, then we can say something.

Women, if you want your man to cheat on you, then deny him sex and tell us which is better, sharing him with other women or giving it to him yourself?

You are totally off key in all areas bro.
That a man married and "paid" a bride price does not make a woman a landed property
With this mindset,your home will be a house of terror.
Our forefathers wetin?
the ones that had 20 wives bowing at their feet ?
what kind of home did you grow up in?
I feel sorry for the woman you'll marry if you don't change this your slavemaster mentality.

By Forbidden,
Who married who? the man or the woman? Who paid the others bride price? Please, the man bought the woman off her parents, that was why he spent his huge amount of money for the celebration, or did any woman foot those bill?

Please a woman is a mans property once she is married and she totally submits to his will.

Lawd help me; Unbelivable! Chauvinist pigs like this should be in jail and not allowed to stroll free among humans. Since when did bride price translate to buying?

What about those men that collect part of the marriage expenditure from their fiance to foot the marriage bills? Are those women also their 'property'? I strongly recommend you should be sent to 6 months compulsory counselling on how to deal with the opposite sex. Is castration illegal in Nigeria? you surely need one.

By babyosisi,
1Cr 7:5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Didn't you see 'except with consent' there? The 'consent' part of the marriage ACT is what these men refuse to let women have.

Sex in a binding force between couples.

When two people marry in Nigeria they become in the eyes of the law one person, and that one person is the husband. What for?

For me I'll not force my woman for sex or go extent to have it since I like the participation of my partner in sex but I'll not hesitate to get a substitute.
          But the way women are using sex as an instrument for punishment over men will soon lead to an uncountable marital unfaithfulness.


               Am suspecting that the poster of this mail is single _{if not lesbian}

By OziomaTv,
Am suspecting that the poster of this mail is single if not lesbian

Men define intelligence, men define usefulness, men tell us what is beautiful, men even tell us what is womanly, men men men everything.  Me lesbo? Why not simple assume  I'm just a[b] person[/b] trapped inside a woman's body?.

hotfunmi:

Men define intelligence, men define usefulness, men tell us what is beautiful, men even tell us what is womanly, men men men everything. Me lesbo? Why not simple assume I'm just a[b] person[/b] trapped inside a woman's body?.

You sound so anti men?
why is that?

hotfunmi:


Didn't you see 'except with consent' there? The 'consent' part of the marriage ACT is what these men refuse to let women have.

Please don't twist the scriptures here to suit your purposes.
If you saw the "with consent" ,I'm sure that you also saw " may give yourselves to fasting and prayer".
Not all men are selfish,not all are brutes and abusive.
You're generalizing a whole lot here.
A woman in a loving relationship can go out of her way to please her man and the man likewise.
I'm sure there are millions brought up by great parents and millions with good men at home so I know there are men who don't fit into this terrible picture you paint.

I am not in anyway saying there are no abusive relationships for there are.
I'm only saying that loving relationships do exist and sex is certainly a thing to be desired by a woman in a loving relationship.
but you have to first lose your general impression of the men folk
You'll end up repelling the good ones

The good ones are not easily repelled, my sister. A man that treats his wife as property is a bad man.

The good ones are not easily repelled, my sister. A man that treats his wife as property is a bad man.

One of the few good men remaining in Nigeria. I weep for the dying breed that may soon go into extinction if care is not taken unless we re~educate these ones that hang around here with a tiny pendulum between their legs. Thumbs up brother!

Seun:

The good ones are not easily repelled, my sister. A man that treats his wife as property is a bad man.

not when sorrounded by feminazis
I don't know any decent man that'll hang around a woman with a terrible impression of the menfolk

hotfunmi:


One of the few good men remaining in Nigeria. I weep for the dying breed that may soon go into extinction if care is not taken unless we re~educate these ones that hang around here with a tiny pendulum between their legs. Thumbs up brother!

see what I mean.
what has size got to do with this whole discussion?
We ladies get mad when men define us by the size of our body parts or the lack thereof and you think it's ok to do same.
By the way the size of the pendulum is inconsequential to the radius of it's swing

Babyosisi, you are hereby banned for a completely different reason. let us have peace.

By BabyOsisi,
Please don't twist the scriptures here to suit your purposes.
If you saw the "with consent" ,I'm sure that you also saw " may give yourselves to fasting and prayer".

So what you are saying is that except during fasting and prayer, a woman ought to open her legs wide for her husband anytime he wants it even if she's in her period? huh?

You sound so anti men?
why is that?

I didn't come here to entertain questions from tabloid journalists.

@Hotfunmi
   
          Am sorry if I offended you, but you hate men so much why?
   The other time itwas ghanian and ivorians better than Naija men.

By pennywise,
Retire privates? That is husbandicidal.

So you rather resort to using 'wifecidals' than husbandicidals? cheaper huh?

@

Hotfunmi

Am sorry if I offended you, but you hate men so much why?
The other time itwas ghanian and ivorians better than Naija men.

Was it not the same superhot Funmi that posted lists of Naija hot celebs that physically appeal to him? How do you relate the two parallel philosophy? My comparison on Naija vs Gahanaian men was seriously based on the soccer match and that was how I was jeered by Ghanianian associates at work over our men. If you don't jerk 'em up, they disappoint you again. I think I've said it before that I 'll love to marry Ibo or Yoruba that is a REAL man and not these wimps that fly around here like butterflies with herpes.

hotfunmi:

@
Was it not the same superhot Funmi that posted lists of Naija hot celebs that physically appeal to him? How do you relate the two parallel philosophy? My comparison on Naija vs Gahanaian men was seriously based on the soccer match and that was how I was jeered by Ghanianian associates at work over our men. If you don't jerk 'em up, they disappoint you again. I think I've said it before that I 'll love to marry Ibo or Yoruba that is a REAL man and not these wimps that fly around here like butterflies with herpes.

I'll recommend a hot sexy successful IGBOMAN with clean naira in his pocket just to cool your brain down.
I guess he has a huge pendulum hanging between his legs.

I'll recommend a hot sexy successful IGBOMAN with clean naira in his pocket just to cool your brain down.
                                I guess he has a huge pendulum hanging between his legs.

Having a huge pendulum does not suffice for knowing how to use it. There is a difference between a surgeon with surgical equipments and a quack like OYB with same equipments.

FYI:
Am an independent woman and will never rely on any man to provide bread for me. All I want is a man that respects me and  understands that besides anatomy, there is no difference between a man and a woman.  They really need to learn that beside reproduction, there is no job peculiar to peewee or vagina.