My girlfriend and I have been together for for five years. I recently discovered that she made between 10 and 20 amateur pornography videos when she was 19. We started dating 2007.
I am devastated. When I confronted her about it, she cried harder than I had ever seen. She said she was lost, and it's the biggest regret of her entire life.
I understand how hard it can be to tell someone you have done something like this. I haven't led a perfect life either, and I have my own skeletons and things that I would never mention. But still, I can't get over this. I have never felt pain like this in my entire life and don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend and wouldn't want a divorce either, but it haunts my every thought. We have had a great life and I trust her completely. What should I do to get over this?

Is it a virgin u want?

Wow wow wow wowwww.hope those videos are not everywhere online though.Actually the decision is yours to make,if you can cope with such and not hate her in the future but really erm,erm.i comment my reserve.

You've got an expert who regreted what she did in the past, and you are here whining.

Op, thats a difficult thing to stand...

If you think her past wouldn't affect your future, family & children, then you can keep her..

But don't you think your children would ask questions? like wtf?! how about your family?

If I were in your shoe, I'll quit with immediate effect. This act is enough to damage a man's personality, future and aim. Mind you, you discovered the videos yourself... smh. How about others you're yet to see..

190-the-clown:
She's Nigerian

BTW how did u get 2know abt those videos

good question.

uj_sizzle:

good question.

You mentioned that you too haven't entirely been of good conduct. Did you earlier tell her about your own dirts too? What if she had found out yours before you found out hers?

190-the-clown:
She's Nigerian

BTW how did u get 2know abt those videos

@ Op: Don't mind 190.. Just post links to the videos here ok? Everything will be alright..

where is the link to the videos

Post the videos, na the face me i wan see. Without that, no comment!

Chairman, you need to upload some of those videos here so we can access the matter properly.

yuzedo:


@ Op: Don't mind 190.. Just post links to the videos here ok? Everything will be alright..

forkinsonlolo: where is the link to the videos

Why you. . .

10-20? Odikwa risky.

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Okay, Ignore the above.

It is a difficult situation to be in - even worse when you're really in Love with Her.

But, before forgiving and taking her in you should weigh everything. Would you be comfortable with her in public? What would you do if you realize people around you know about these videos too?

Would you be able to take it off your mind? _{I mean, forget the past doesn't apply to "Indestructible Media", eh?}

If I were in your shoes, I would quit because I wouldn't be able to handle the "Recurring thoughts" and what not but well, nothing is impossible.

If you Love her completely, well, here's a chance to prove it to her.

@ 190-the-clown, the babe involved is not by any means naija. This happened far away in the USA. May be our babes don tear eye reach dat side!!!
@OP you should have acknowledged the source of the story instead of paraphrasing it as if it is your own experience.
On a lighter mood, abi u wan make we pray make you get the experience?
For all see the link to the original storyline to an "Aunty Abby" and the Abby's advice to the guy:
http://news.yahoo.com/husband-cant-over-pain-discovering-wifes-past-050208977.html

Husband Can't Get Over Pain Of Discovering Wife's Past
By Abigail Van Buren | Dear Abby – Wed, Nov 28, 2012

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for five years. I recently discovered that she made between 10 and 20 porn videos when she was 19. We got married when she was 27. We have four kids from two previous marriages.

I am devastated. When I confronted her about it, she cried harder than I had ever seen. She said she was lost, and it's the biggest regret of her entire life.

I understand how hard it can be to tell someone you have done something like this. I haven't led a perfect life either, and I have my own skeletons and things that I would never mention. But still, I can't get over this. I have never felt pain like this in my entire life and don't know what to do. I love my wife and don't want a divorce, but it haunts my every thought. We have had a great life and I trust her completely. What should I do to get over this? -- DEVASTATED IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR DEVASTATED: A giant step in the right direction would be to accept that you both had a history before you married each other, and you both have done things you aren't proud of. Then make a list of all the good things you have together, and forgive your wife for making some painful mistakes in the past that she was too ashamed to tell you. It certainly beats divorcing a woman you love over something she can't change. If that doesn't work, then you'd be wise to seek marriage counselling.

@Excellent7 Ah, makes complete sense. I thought as much.

In Nigeria, chances of you knowing sooner are almost ZERO. You'll live up to 19 years with her (like that other guy) before discovering erhm....

If u wldnt want her to judge u by the "skeletons in ur closet" I suggest u do the same. She was young and dumb then, but I guess now she has matured. U still have things u said u wldnt disclose, so u may not want to use her past mistakes against her

Hi friend,i wud av suggested you forgive her as well,
but i think this is not the matter of forgiveness.
Since you're already feeling this bad,even now and you cant stop it,
and you're saying something like you dont want a divorce,(dat means it cud happen later)
See,you av to be sincere with yurself,after marriage,all the emotions will be swallowed up
And reality will set in,ask yourself these questions pls
*When emotions are all gone,will i remember this stuff no more
*if i remember,will i av enough strength to disregard it?
Booda,if you cant stop thinking about it and you dont want to break her heart by leaving her,
You're going to do worse later,break her heart and render your Child(ren) daddyless...
So it wud be better if you love her to leave her for someone else whoz strong enough to handle the situation.
.....IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT....goodluck to yu,and Jonathan to others,lolzz cheerzz

Mavor: Chairman, you need to upload some of those videos here so we can access the matter properly.

Ehm have I seen her on action b4? Well take heart d hard truth is dat u hv seen d guys dat fvcked and some guys still n will still mastvbate watching her act. But d gud news is you can move on wif her n put every thing behind afterall kagawa of Man.u dates a porn star.

@OP seriously.. very few people can be as open as you.. but trust me, it only matters to you what and how you feel not what other people say or think, personally, I'd be pretty excited about it.. i mean come on, who won't be

the videos pls

I dont think i can go ahead in such circumstance.

Imagine all your friends, family, neighbours and colleagues passing and sharing your wifes video around

Mavor: Chairman, you need to upload some of those videos here so we can access the matter properly.

seconded

By the way, 27th to comment. Almighty Obatala, na you biko.

True love covers a multitude of wrongs. If what he felt was real- move past it, seek counseling as adviced, major on the good and minor on the bad. The things we overcome in life is what gives us a story. No one said it would be easy.