Anyways, my mum once asked me abt my sex life. Felt lyk lyin bt eventually opened up. It didn't bcom a big fuzz (prohaply cos na guy I b sha).
I feel therez notyn bad in knwin such personal details abt ur daughter...bt mehn, u gat 2b real close 2her. Whn I say close, I mean FRIEND right 4rm her childhood. Nd also d way u approach such topics matters a lot. Be her best friend nd she wld open up 2u.
The sole truth is dt if u had been so close 2her 4rm childhood, therez a very low chance dt she wld av messed up herself (as long as u gv her all d lv, money, protection way dat area boy dy promise her sha)...lol

Maybe i'm the only one who has a different view from every other person here. But when i becomes a father i have every authority to ask about the virginity status of my female child. As-far-as she is still under my breeding. Except on marriage conceptions. Then i have no business whatsoever concerning her status.

I think we will be having a lot of problems and misconceptions if we continue to use western standards to evaluate our kids, i don't know when Africans started using a particular fixed age to determine adulthood.

zayhal: Bless my father! Whether son or daughter, he knew and asked everything there needed to be asked about us. And he had a way with us that you will readily tell him if he asked. Try telling a lie and he'll catch you and let you know later that you haven't told the truth.

It was very much my father's business but he diddnt throw questions at our faces. He got all his facts through discussions and treating us like adults. That did the trick.

Bless you too my lovely dauta

Take ur f*cking question to the westerners am an african and we have our own way of living.

,

Whareva!

Be close to your daughter and be very friendly with her, if she feels comfortable she will share with you everything including her boyfriend and at that point dont scold her , just advice her lovingly and let her know you want the best for her. Dont let her see you as a threat .

.

Simply no. That is what the mother suppose to do.

POINTLESS

If my dad were to ask me such, I would ask him where he has been the whole 18 yrs of my life but of course we ain't discussing about me. Back to the topic, I don't think its wrong as long as he is in all sense of the word, a complete father to his kid

One thing i don't seem to understand now is..for those who say it's cool to ask as far as they're cool around you ; what happens when she says ''ah daddy i've had se. x a couple'a times with my boy friend and its cool!''... How do u react at that point and what do u say?

Yes na!if she can as well as ask u 4 scool fees and other things.and u are providing her with all she needed

RudySmith: ^^^ Here is one of the main reason why I would "need" to know.
I have already told my kids that they are welcomed at my house for the rest of their life, if they wish so, but the day they start to have sex, then they best find their own places to do the do, and not under my roof. So knowing when each and everyone of them (not just the girls) has/had sex is important to the family unit.

If you are above 18 and think you are wise and mature enough to have sex, then it is time for you to go.
If you are under 18 and think you are wise mature enough to have sex, then the countdown has started.

Hello mister, the way ur dropping ur comment make one feel like u'll be so domineering over your kids even your wife. If U̶̲̥̅̊ continue with your supposed opinion, your kids will hate U̶̲̥̅̊ for the rest of their life.
U̶̲̥̅̊'d better try a little tenderness as we are no more in the 10th century. The kids of nowadays have grown giant IQ's so if u try to play them, they checkmate U̶̲̥̅̊... Learn a parent-children relationship so U̶̲̥̅̊ could enjoy ur living with them... QED

Of course na. Some cultures dey bring ruler and contraption for full hymen MOT. Wahala dey if hymen no dey intact well well. Na family war and re-payment of dowry, gifts etc... (Iran, Afghanistan, Turkmenistan Somalia etc...

victorian: Sorry to say poster, but you are wacked......u need psychological help...how can u think of Evicting any of yur kid, that says Dad, guess what ?... am no more a virgin? .....seriously?..... I can't believe this.. Thank God , you are not God....

Gosh, is this a "your mama" wall. That was the hang. Beaten hands down... Lol

@ OP
What if you ask your daughter and she lies? Will you "test her"?
Even if you do and her hymen is broken, there are other ways the hymen could have broken without your daughter having Seex.
So what will you have achieved?
Teach you children well and they won't stray from the path you have shown them.

rimzo:


So you don't care to know about sexual activities of your daughter that is not married.
We need to teach and advice our children about sex education.

so asking ur daugther abt her virginity is d way 2 go? If U hold virginity in high esteem u'l simply get wat U wnt 2 hear.

Yes. As long as he has no s3xual desires for her.
If he just wants to be sure his baby girl is taking care of herself,
I see no problem with it.

sweetrace: 18 may the legal voting age in most countries, but as long as the 18 year old is not married, she is still under her parents authority. And while it is cool to be your daughters friend, you are first her father. Teach her to value and respect her body even when she is 18. Feel absolutely free to ask her if she is a virgin.

You are absolutely on point.

The issue is if she confirms ur worst fear, what will u do? If u over react she will simply shut u out of her life and u will lose her permanently. Intimacy is a deep secret to ladies and they are careful who they share it with. She will no longer trust u and will most likely find it difficult to confide in you(even concerning other matters).
If u are particular about ur girls virginity, then let ur sex education be centred on 'abstinence till marriage' and start teaching her early, not at age 18. U should also learn to be a good friend to her, so that she will be willing to tell u stuffs about her personal life, then u can guide her the way u want. u can even dictate to her when to start dating she will listen to u.
@ruddy, sending ur girl child packing is not the answer. Sooner or latter she will leave and ur relationship with her when she were young will determine how she will treat u at ur old age when u will really need her.

toluene12: @ruddy, sending ur girl child packing is not the answer. Sooner or latter she will leave and ur relationship with her when she were young will determine how she will treat u at ur old age when u will really need her.

Male or female child must obey foollow the rules that are put in place by their parents. What's the point of having rules if you can't stand by your own words? My actions are not driven by the fear of not having them taking care of me in old age (pension/savings etc are there for a reason), nor that they like me or not. This is MY rules and I am the adult. What kind of cheap blackmail is this? "if you dont let me do whatever I want, I wont take care of you in your old age" LWKMD!

What's next, invite their 200 friends over for a trash party, simply because they want to? go out for the next 3 days simply because they want to? insulting their parents because they think they can? yeah right!

There is nothing wrong in askn/knowing. If she goes against my family values, she wd face my unfriendliness.

I discuss freely wit my wards on relationship issues and they sure confide in me. Most importantly they understand our core values and know how far i can go to protect it.

Must every relationship involve sex sef? Haba waa

rimzo:


So you don't care to know about sexual activities of your daughter that is not married.
We need to teach and advice our children about sex education.

teach and advice but not for questions! I think its mainly for mothers to ask their daughters coz of d shyness!

Not only should u ask, u should test it to find out :p

If d father has bin responsible 4 her all d while morally den he can ask cos dey'll definitely be close to talk to such extents bt if u r d father i hardly know den u bump in on me askin abt ma virginity status,i'll either say"hey mum,i ges dad is either drunk or Finally mad"

If d father has bin responsible 4 her all d while morally den he can ask cos dey'll definitely be close to talk to such extents bt if u r d father i hardly know den u bump in on me askin abt ma virginity status,i'll either say"hey mum,i ges dad is either drunk or crazy"

rimzo:


So you don't care to know about sexual activities of your daughter that is not married.
We need to teach and advice our children about sex education.

I think the main reason some parents are critical about the virginity of their daughters is because of their own sense of pride.

"I trained a well behaved and sel-controlled girl"

or

"If this girl gets pregnant, she will disgrce my name. I won't take that..."

Truly it is not good for any chld to emberrass her family, but I think it is more important to train the child (with love) in the way to go and when she is old (come of age), she won't depart from it.

Make sure you spend quality time with her as she grows, and let her grow up to trust on you for emotional support such that she can tell you anything that is bothering her. Respect her feelings, but let her know your position (especially) about the sanctity of sex. Eventually, it will be up to her to make her decision whether to wait till marriage or not. Trust me most well adjusted ladies are not too curious about sex, neither is their appetite as high as that of the guyfolks.

While she is yet a little girl, make sure you as her dad, is the first boyfriend she ever had. Buy her gifts, treat her with respect and show her how gentle men behave. That way, when she is emotionally ready for a real relationship, she would demand similar treatment from her friend. She would not hav to use sex as a tool for seeking emotional romance.

Is the duty of the mother to ask such questions and not the father as the daughter will open up to the mother as a fellow woman than she will do to the mother.

Am proud 2b a virgn...bt al dsame,I WON'T DIE A VIRGN

that will be completely wrong... It's not his business...