I have seen some ladies complaining that they are now in their mid 20s.
Some complains all their friends are now married.
Some says Mom and Dad are disturbing, so they now put pressure on the man.

SO WHEN IS A WOMAN RIPEN FOR MARRIAGE.
anything she ought to achieve before saying "i do" or she just basically needs to make sure the man has all she wants including good job, cos some of these ladies dont even ave a job.

When she understands what it takes to sustain a marriage especially in this present dispensation.

I will like to know, too.

A man I know said if a woman is not married between the age of 24-27, she should forget about it. (I personally disagree)

I don't think marriage has got 2 do with age. I've seen a lot get married far above that age and are very happy.

naijatoday:

I will like to know, too.

A man I know said if a woman is not married between the age of 24-27, she should forget about it. (I personally disagree)

I disagree with that as well.
I personally things if the woman wanna be married at age 27, she ought to have got her degree at that age, established somehow, either ready to look for a job, or already have a job.
When we talking about wedding, if she has nothing to contribute, then, i am not sure she is ready.
Most of the babes out there dont even have 10K as savings and yet to pound the man, that it is time to marry.

scottN:

I don't think marriage has got 2 do with age. I've seen a lot get married far above that age and are very happy.

but as men, i am sure, there are some things that we expected from the woman, before we can say, she is the woman for me.
i think most men just look at the beauty and the booty and God forbid if the sex is good too, most men wont wanna lose such woman, and they untie the knot and lose their sanity

When she is an adult and ready to fulfil every obligation and responsibility that comes with marriage.

but wld u agree with me that so many ladies thot they are ready and yet they are not.
all cos they advice their friends is not enuf to know what they can do.

When she is wise enough to know whom to make her husband. Its not about sex or how much money a man makes.

naijatoday:

I will like to know, too.

A man I know said if a woman is not married between the age of 24-27, she should forget about it. (I personally disagree)

I have heard this TOO MANY TIMES AS WELL. Many women RUSH IN RUSH OUT because too many people tell them that age matters.

Childbearing---competition <who has a child first>
Wedding---competition <who marries first>

----competition only leads to frustration.

posakosa:

Childbearing---competition <who has a child first>
Wedding---competition <who marries first>

----competition only leads to frustration.

And when the man refuse to tag along, they said, he is not loving and he doesnt love them.

When she has reached the age of puberty! 

Fhemmmy:

And when the man refuse to tag along, they said, he is not loving and he doesnt love them.

yea---- esp. when he refuses to buy into the pressure.

posakosa:

yea---- esp. when he refuses to buy into the pressure.

It irritates me when a lady of 25 years of age starts to whine, all my friends are married, all my these are that and all that ranting nonsense, and yet the babe, no get job, or at her age, she is still an undergrad, she has no idea what it takes to make a man happy, she only thinks she is good looking, can cook potatoes, can boil water and cook noodles . . . she is good in bed, and that is all is needed.
How can such woman not focus on making something for herself as well, instead of just wanting to depend on the man.
I call such lady a leech

^^^^^you are quite right.

Such thinking is NOT that popular in Nigerian communities. Plus, there are SOME men who like to catch them young and naive----some even say at that age, their vaginas is still very tight, as if that is all there is to a woman. 

often times too the pressure is quite unbearable-----especially from MOTHERS.  '


"your cousin Sope is married, her husband is very rich" what about you ? Don't bring any POOR man home ooh.

"your cousin Tolu is 25 with two kids" what about you ? I can't wait for my grand kids

" one of my friends daughter, spent 1 million naira on her wedding" when is yours ? we will have a bigger wedding---

and the list is endless.

posakosa:

^^^^^you are quite right.

Such thinking is NOT that popular in Nigerian communities. Plus, there are SOME men who like to catch them young and naive----some even say at that age, their vaginas is still very tight, as if that is all there is to a woman. 

hahahahahahahaha


So that means we shd be blaming the parents then.
Cos the parents dont seems to be comparing apple to apple, sometimes, ask the parents that are complaining, how much they have to spend on the wedding and they will tell you, they have nothing, cos the daughter that has no job is the one taking the money from the boyfriend to feed their ass.

^^^^^ certainly we should. Nigerian parents are NOT PATIENT. They often times pressure their daughters into marriage madness.

posakosa:

^^^^^ certainly we should. Nigerian parents are NOT PATIENT. They often times pressure their daughters into marriage madness.

and they will not be around to help the daughter when the madness is fully grown into death.

On that note, I travelled to the U.S. for a wedding and the parents took out a bank loan and put

up their house as collateral to sponsor a wedding they COULD NOT afford. Im wondering, what if they can't pay the loan back. The wedding took place at a country club.  

It was a nice wedding but LOAN ? LOAN ?

coolier:

When she has reached the age of puberty! 

i hope you're joking.

@post

marriage is definitely a lot of work. when shes fully knows what is involved. when she knows the reason why shes getting married.
when she knows that you don't marry someone ONLY for love because marriage cant stand/last on LOVE ALONE.
when she is emotionally, and financially(in most cases) responsible. when she is matured enough to handle the ups and downs that comes with marriage and knows how to handle things with her hubby and family not always running to mom/dad for cover. when is ready to sacrifice, and share, learn,listen  and grow.

^^^^ I agree with you for the most part except for the Daddy and Mommy part-----respectfully so, as long as my parents are alive and have the money-----they will always be my buffer.

Fhemmmy:

and they will not be around to help the daughter when the madness is fully grown into death.

certainly----this is when the trouble begins and the mother stops picking up her daughter's phone calls and tell her to "grow up" and deal with her problem----it is not until the madness begins, that the mother reveals the honest truth about marriage.


"Its ok if he cheats, as long as he comes home to you"

"Its ok if he cheats, as long as he pays your bills"

" Don't worry yourself, you are the mother of his children"

^^^^^ Posakosa

nah, dont get me wrong. with that part i mean, she knows how to handle some of the conflicts she will encounter with her husband. In marriage, you have learn how to solve some conflicts within the boundaries of your marriage not always involving mom and dad in every single matter.

of course your parents should still be a part of your life either married or single. but when you are married you should set some boundaries between your family and that of your parents.

makes sense-- strictly husband and wife matters--but I do believe that when there is conflict, there certainly needs to be a third party mediator and who would that be ? --pls don't say pastor.

or maybe Im just thinking this way cause Im not married.

I just hope and wish the sanity will be back into dating that leads into marriage.
ladies needs to grow up and stop sucking Mom's breast
there are few things that the lady ought to ave achieved before talking of marriage just as a man.

@@ Poskosa

yes, there are certain issues in marriage that needs a mediator and this especially true in cases of domestic violence. it can be anyone the couple trusts and can communicate with, be a mom/dad, or a marriage counsellor, or pastor.

Fhemmmy:

I just hope and wish the sanity will be back into dating that leads into marriage.
ladies needs to grow up and stop sucking Mom's breast
there are few things that the lady ought to ave achieved before talking of marriage just as a man.

You're right.

A job
Some money in the bank and etc-----

often times the pressure to get married and the competition amongst friends to get married----doesn't make some women THINK. Its quite hard to find yourself when you are married, cause often times before you know it, u're pregnant, you bills, ----and the list is endless.

A woman is ready for marriage when she understands what marriage is all about. When she can differentiate between being able to hold down her family and independence. She has to be able to take care of herself with or without the help of a man. Mature and wise. She has to be able to own her marriage rather than what so so so or so is doing. Marriage isn't a day at the park. Certainly cannot be rushed into or forced into either.

posakosa:

You're right.

A job
Some money in the bank and etc-----

often times the pressure to get married and the competition amongst friends to get married----doesn't make some women THINK. Its quite hard to find yourself when you are married, cause often times before you know it, u're pregnant, you bills, ----and the list is endless.

True Dat.

chika98:

A woman is ready for marriage when she understands what marriage is all about. When she can differentiate between being able to hold down her family and independence. She has to be able to take care of herself with or without the help of a man. Mature and wise. She has to be able to own her marriage rather than what so so so or so is doing. Marriage isn't a day at the park. Certainly cannot be rushed into or forced into either.

Yes and well said.

When she meets someone with whom she is compatible on key levels and who has the same goals/vision

wwheelz:

When she meets someone with whom she is compatible on key levels and who has the same goals/vision

Does it matter if she has the basic necessities of life?