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HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART - Travel (3) - Nairaland

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Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 4:44pm On Dec 17, 2012
you are chatting shit...i'm only pulling your legs...
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Anthony247: 4:45pm On Dec 17, 2012
dcraigy: @slyfoxxjoe & @Anthony247 This is part of my internet (re)search, as I was hoping to encounter mostly people who have experienced it themselves or know someone who has. Nairaland is indeed oart of the internet, so I'm not mistaken to be here, asking a question that's related to Nigerian Citizens.

Haha, I guess there's huge unemployment in Nigeria, and that's why most of you guys have ample time to become "Internet Warriors". No offence to the guys who of course mean very well!
@Poster, i have a Cousin who had d same issue as u do now; he was eventually deported though, but we had to import a British Babe into naija and they wedded in d court... his papers came out swiftly and he had to go back to London. So u can do dsame..
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Danielh(m): 4:48pm On Dec 17, 2012
irrespective of your accent,,yu can still be deported,,
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 4:49pm On Dec 17, 2012
dcraigy: There are some gays here, who just don't know how to post in forums, they troll around. That's BTW.

I'm very glad more people are replying. Don't worry about me and how I'm sorting out my situation, just answer my question if you can.

Frontpage yay! I'm trending baby!


Thanks

Hello Dcraigy
I am a UK solicitor. Let’s cut the drill. If you are caught by UKBA, all they do is to look into your immigration history-how you entered the UK. Once they can confirm that you’re a Nigerian, the Nigerian authority is under obligation to issue a Travel document to facilitate your removal to Nigeria. It does not matter whether you speak with a cockney accent. However, subject to certain factors, considering your length of stay in the UK, you may be able to regularize your stay on the basis of private life. I will advise you to visit any of the Citizen Bureau Advice centre for free advice and support. Good luck
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 4:55pm On Dec 17, 2012
Lucasbalo: I am a Nigerian American and I live in Chicago. Your question should be how to get married to an European and get ur papers instead of worrying about deportation .
Thank you.
@OP use your freaking Longman to get a stay and be quick about it.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by obi123: 5:36pm On Dec 17, 2012
gbosaa: Once they,ve established your identity,all that is left is for nigeria high commission to sign and acknowledge that you are a nigerian..which they are always very willing to do...ever heard of the slogan..those who give nigeria bad name abroad...there you go,you,ll find yourself at lagos or abuja airport with those sneering and embarrassing looks and questions from nigeria immigration.

Whatever you are doing,do it fast,There are lots of changes on immigration rules,they are now making very hard for people like you and soon you wont be worrying about UK Border Agency..There is a new contractor in town...they are head hunters and they are very good at sniffing out illegal immigrants.They are paid according to the number of people they help sent out of the UK.

especially now that that 14 yr illegal stay that can lead to ILR is about to be scrapped, e go hard well
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 5:39pm On Dec 17, 2012
stop hating your friends.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by princeonx: 5:41pm On Dec 17, 2012
percipi1:

Hello Dcraigy
I am a UK solicitor. Let’s cut the drill. If you are caught by UKBA, all they do is to look into your immigration history-how you entered the UK. Once they can confirm that you’re a Nigerian, the Nigerian authority is under obligation to issue a Travel document to facilitate your removal to Nigeria. It does not matter whether you speak with a cockney accent. However, subject to certain factors, considering your length of stay in the UK, you may be able to regularize your stay on the basis of private life. I will advise you to visit any of the Citizen Bureau Advice centre for free advice and support. Good luck
Who you say you be again? Good advise though.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by princeonx: 5:43pm On Dec 17, 2012
Anthony247:
@Poster, i have a Cousin who had d same issue as u do now; he was eventually deported though, but we had to import a British Babe into naija and they wedded in d court... his papers came out swiftly and he had to go back to London. So u can do dsame..
Do you need a NAFDAC number abi watin una dey call to import people lol importer
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 5:53pm On Dec 17, 2012
@ Dcraigy,

Like you rightly said, it all depends on what nationality you claim. If you claimed to be a Nigerian, you will be asked questions relating to how you entered the UK. With information provided, the UKBA will be able to determine whether you should be removed or not. Going by your claim that you are undocumented(Overstayer) it will be best to claim to be stateless and access your right to remain subject to the UN Refugee convention. There are alternative ways to go about your situation, if you prefer to seek private advice.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by princeonx: 5:56pm On Dec 17, 2012
dcraigy:

Firstly, thanks for your time.

Besides what you disclose to them i.e. literally saying "I came from Nigeria or I'm from Nigeria", How do they prove it, without documentation. Or is the Nigerian government just issuing travel certificates for every black person, the UKBA says is Nigerian; on FAITH ALONE? I mean I know they can be bribed...so no surprise! If this is really the case I wonder how many Citizens of other African nations have been deported to Nigeria on FAITH ALONE.

The reason I ask is because in the UK without a piece of paper even British Citizens can't prove their identity. And there are British Citizens who can't even get their own passports, simply because they don't have supporting documents!
That's not true! Supporting documents like what? If they have a birth certificate or a document confirming their christening when they were born they will get their passport easily
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 6:02pm On Dec 17, 2012
i loce all of you
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 6:04pm On Dec 17, 2012
prince_onx:
That's not true! Supporting documents like what? If they have a birth certificate or a document confirming their christening when they were born they will get their passport easily

Birth Certificate is indeed a supporting documents...don't you know this? Some people don't have their Birth Certificate. And to get a first adult passport here, you need to also show proof of your parents' citizenship i.e. their passport. It's not like Nigeria where they give every tom-d*ck a passport. But that's not's not the point here, let's not digress.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Chaoga: 6:10pm On Dec 17, 2012
@OP
It's simple, find a Brit give belle make your name dey "father's name" for Pikin certificate, find a lawyer to file documents for you, keep on dancing oppa gangnam style till u get ur papers.
I no dey judge u but wonder wetin u dey do for UK since all this years.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 6:14pm On Dec 17, 2012
good!
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Epiphany(m): 6:48pm On Dec 17, 2012
I wonder whether there are no nigerian immigration lawyers on here who can answer your question because now, I am getting interested also!
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by vizion: 6:54pm On Dec 17, 2012
dcraigy:

Very first, sensible reply. I'm not stateless, but I have no passport or Nigerian identity documents which would enable them to deport me; should the situation arise.

With regards to some sort of electronic migrant records, they may have them. But then again, I came here before introduction of e-passports and the new point system, which involves them getting immigrants' biometrics and such, so I'm not so sure. And if their records were any good/ useful in this matter, they probably won't have problems deporting most people, as numerous sources show. Check this out http://www.publicservice.co.uk/news_story.asp?id=20676. These guys are honestly slow!

However, I'm trying to figure out how the Nigerian Immigration Service interviews people, who the UKBA wishes to deport, in order to issue emergency travel certificates i.e. what sort of question they ask them.


Thanks

hi Poster, a lot of blacks are erroneously classified as Nigerians, so I think that the people being interviewed by NIS are does people who claim to be Nigerians, but don't have Nigerian travel document. The immigration service then try to verify if they are Nigerians in order to process entry clearance into Nigeria.

Just my thinking, so don't quote me
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 7:07pm On Dec 17, 2012
kkk
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 7:16pm On Dec 17, 2012
@Dcraigy If your concern is limited to your below quote

-"All I simply want to know is how the UK border force secures travel documents, in order to deport people" and "However, I'm trying to figure out how the Nigerian Immigration Service interviews people, who the UKBA wishes to deport, in order to issue emergency travel certificates i.e. what sort of question they ask them"-Dcraigy

Then I have answered your question. I will be more detailed now to help others in this situation. If you did not deny your Nigerian identity, that is, your true name and date of birth, the UKBA will trace your initial application submitted at the Nigerian post. Once they can match this information to your claimed identity, they will liaise with the Nigerian High Commission which is very supportive of the UKBA effort to rid the country of undocumented Nigerians.

While in immigration detention, you will be interviewed by an officer of the Nigerian High Commission solely to determine whether you have any pending application, appeals or judicial review regarding your immigration status. If your answer is no, a TC will be issued to facilitate your removal. All the Nigerian High Commission require is sufficient evidence from UKBA confirming your Nigerian identity from the Entry clearance record.

However, if you have any pending application, appeal or judicial review, the High Commission will decline to issue a TC until all your application has been determined and taken no further.

I hope this clears your concern
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 7:27pm On Dec 17, 2012
@Dcraigy

However, if you deny your Nigerian background and there are no record from the entry clearance officer to confirm your identity, Your biometric data will be taken and you will be released subject to a reporting condition.

Your only escape is if you did not come into the country with a UK visa, It will then be difficult to access your data through the entry clearance officer's record. It thus become difficult for the Nigerian High Commission to issue you a TC unless you give then proof that you are truly a Nigerian-Don't think u wanna do that mate
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by princeonx: 8:02pm On Dec 17, 2012
dcraigy:

Birth Certificate is indeed a supporting documents...don't you know this? Some people don't have their Birth Certificate. And to get a first adult passport here, you need to also show proof of your parents' citizenship i.e. their passport. It's not like Nigeria where they give every tom-d*ck a passport. But that's not's not the point here, let's not digress.
It depend if thats what you want to call it. I live in US not UK so i will not beat back and front with this issue. Acquiring a passport require prof of citizenship either by birth in the US, Naturalization, or birth to/by US parent/s outside America. All an Adult need is prof of place of birth such as birth certificate or birth recoed from the hospital. The only time they require proof of your parent's citizenship is if you were born outside the soil of US to Americans. I guess it's harder in the UK but all the same, I don't see anything hard in proofing you're a Briton if you truly are.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 8:06pm On Dec 17, 2012
joing me in laughter
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Olaone1: 8:34pm On Dec 17, 2012
Na wa o undecided
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 8:51pm On Dec 17, 2012
@ Dcraigy,

You are welcome. Should you need some legal direction, you may mail me. I'm happy to give free immigration advice to fellow nairalanders living in the UK and Nigeria. Always make sure you seek advice from immigration solicitors at all times.

Keep safe
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Pataki: 9:02pm On Dec 17, 2012
@ OP,

I think percipi has given you the answers you want. It depends on what route you want to take.

However judging from your posts here, I think you are willing to admit that you are not a Nigerian. So the burden of proof lies mainly on UKBA to prove your identity with the Nigeria High Commission.

It is this rigorous paper works that UKBA wants to avoid. So far you entered the UK through their main port of entry, they will find you out. It may take weeks or even months, but they will do it and the consequences are that, it will have a dent on your future immigration record. All the best.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by azezola(m): 10:04pm On Dec 17, 2012
Abeg o,no go back to 9ja jus find some body make u marry,i dey tell u from experience,adun lon gbeyin ewuro.i got both european nd american palli,good job good family good children,livin american upper middle class bro,God bless u,juss keep ur head up
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by debosky(m): 10:26pm On Dec 17, 2012
dcraigy:

Aha that bit is what I was guessing. Indeed, the UKBA will most likely have some entry clearance records. However, I'm not sure how good / useful their records from 7 years ago, before the new point-based-biometric-visa-system really are; since these guys http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hpdmpg8fJtI#t=163s also came here on a visa, but can't be deported, inasmuch as they've voluntarily reported themselves. Again, I'm just citing some related cases.

Some records do fall through the cracks, especially those who have made multiple applications (asylum, appeal, judicial review, etc.) which became backlogged and were never assessed appropriately.

However, if your case was simply a straightforward entry with no subsequent applications, it is highly likely that your records will be intact and readily accessible.


Besides, if they had it that easy, they wouldn't then have to setup a new immigration database this year, as this article reveals http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2191628/New-database-launched-track-150-000-illegal-immigrants-Britain.html At the very first paragraph, they reveal:

Only 150,000 people? And how many year of migration does that cover? This leads me to conclude they're indeed facing some struggles and it's not entirely as easy as said.

That's a different issue altogether - this 'tracking' is to do with people not being counted in/out of the country. They haven't kept track of these figures over the years and are now deciding to do so - figures such as 150,000 are simply estimates.

Ultimately this depends on whether you get identified by the UKBA as an illegal immigrant or not - if you do get identified and don't have multiple applications that can make your case complicated and don't deny your nationality, you will be easily deported should the UKBA decide to do so.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 10:55pm On Dec 17, 2012
somebody laugh
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by debosky(m): 11:14pm On Dec 17, 2012
dcraigy:
Those people in this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hpdmpg8fJtI#t=163s had never made any applications whatsoever. Besides I don't see how making applications (asylum, appeal, judicial review, etc.) should affect, or relate to whether or not UKBA utilise their entry clearance (visa) records in deporting people.

I'm not disputing that some records do fall through the cracks, especially when you're dealing with the single highest group of non-EEA immigrants to the UK (Indians) - some people will definitely slip through even with the best of systems. Besides, the primary issue with those individuals is the refusal or reluctance of the Indian officials to validate their identity.

However, as for the bolded, it will affect whether the UKBA can deport you or not - if you have undetermined applications, your file has been misplaced or is still under review, you can't be deported till the outstanding issues are sorted out. Some cases are so muddled up that they've simply been abandoned - that's where it can make a significant difference.


In a nutshell, it appears that they either don't use entry clearance (visa) records, or they are insufficient, else they would have used the entry clearance (visa) records of those indians to deported them. But that's neither here no there.

Entry clearance records are insufficient in themselves - you also need the immigrant's home country to be cooperative in issuing travel documents. Many countries (China for one) are very reluctant to issue travel documents which make deportation of their citizens more difficult.

In the case of Nigeria as others have said, there is no such reluctance - if the UKBA want to deport you and know you're Nigerian, the Nigerian High Commission will oblige and you'll be deported.

In addition to the above factors, the government does not have unlimited funds to deport illegal immigrants - the numbers required to be deported are far more than the system can handle.
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by Nobody: 11:45pm On Dec 17, 2012
we need a hug
Re: HOW DO YOU LICK A MAN'S PRIVATE PART by yommyuk: 1:38am On Dec 18, 2012
best bet is to get an eu citizen to follow and marry u in naija. That is ur best chance. Why pple hang around the uk as an illegal? It is not worth it and a waste of time.

undecided

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