Nairaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 1229333 members, 1614042 topics. Date: Friday, 29 August 2014 at 09:03 AM

Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone (7774 Views)

Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? / Pregnant Mom Has Baby's Face On Her Stomach / Marital Agreement / Contract (1) (2) (3) (4)

(0) (1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by OYINBOGOJU(m): 12:15am On Dec 31, 2012
12/25/2012

Gregory’s iPhone Contract

Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership. I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No Indecency. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person – preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.

13. Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO – fear of missing out.

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone.

Merry Christmas!

xoxoxo

Mom

25 Likes

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Nobody: 7:39am On Dec 31, 2012
Seconded
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by greatgod2012(f): 10:24am On Dec 31, 2012
Even me, sef fit do this, so its not a bad idea, atleast, it will help to caution
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Siena(m): 10:37am On Dec 31, 2012
I agree with most of Gregory's mom's conditions.
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by mascot87(m): 12:00pm On Dec 31, 2012
coming please

Haa, sweet mom cheesy. Most parents has lost there morals not to talk of passing such to there children. I hope parents & intending parents on this forum can learn from this piece.
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Engineer1985: 12:03pm On Dec 31, 2012
Passing...
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by AdaNri1(f): 12:07pm On Dec 31, 2012
What an intelligent mom

3 Likes

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Nobody: 12:09pm On Dec 31, 2012
I don't like number 5. After what happened in Connecticut, I've been pressurizing my dad to get my youngest sister a cell phone in case of emergency. Once upon a time, I hated the idea of children having mobiles. I have Romneyed flip-flopped and believe they should take at least a basic phone to school. I don't want my sister stranded or unable to call for help.

Apart from that, she paid for it, so her rules.

1 Like

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Rapmaestro(m): 12:09pm On Dec 31, 2012
*#YAWN#* are u through
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Nobody: 12:11pm On Dec 31, 2012
Too much for an iphone o
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Hailedin9ja: 12:11pm On Dec 31, 2012
Very nice.
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by naijanaweown: 12:13pm On Dec 31, 2012
molest is a very big problem in our society today, lets speak up against it, today.u don't know if ur sista will be d next victim.
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by abioila(m): 12:15pm On Dec 31, 2012
A new Iphone will probably be out before gregory reads through the contract. Good idea though.

2 Likes

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by pekelepekele(m): 12:20pm On Dec 31, 2012
If I were the Son . I will say yes to all the rules but tell her I don't need the phone . What of if she buy me a house she will tell me the time to poop in the toilet, time to go out of the house and others

1 Like

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by buchibabe: 12:20pm On Dec 31, 2012
Lol. Na w o. Dis one hard pass 10 commandments. Anyt point collectind fone frm her again sef?
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by 4bobo(m): 12:27pm On Dec 31, 2012
mikeyhernadez: Too much for an iphone o
his mum might have seen some element of misbehaving and strange characters and trying to correct it knowingfully well that he needs that phone badly.
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Adolak(m): 12:28pm On Dec 31, 2012
Rap maestro: *#YAWN#* are u through
**close mouth and spray air freshner** @op. Those rules are good

1 Like

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Iaz93: 12:28pm On Dec 31, 2012
nawa Ooh
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by YOMIT(m): 12:33pm On Dec 31, 2012
pekelepekele: If I were the Son . I will say yes to all the rules but tell her I don't need the phone . What of if she buy me a house she will tell me the time to poop , time to go out of the house and others
dude see your sense angry that a 13years old remember? So the child needs all the caution.
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by tonyx4x44(m): 12:42pm On Dec 31, 2012
thanks mum, i reject the iPhone without any disrespect intended.

1 Like

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by pekelepekele(m): 12:42pm On Dec 31, 2012
YOMIT: dude see your sense angry that a 13years old remember? So the child needs all the caution.

The question is why buy the 13 year old an Iphone ? and then place those laws on his head. My own kids will never have a phone until they are 16 and not a phone enabled with browsing that will be until they turned 18 but they will surely have a desktop PC not a laptop so that they won't go about with it and the desktop will have a 100% working keylogger installed on it to monitor all they are doing on the internet .

If i want to contact them at school , I will be calling the school principal.

3 Likes

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Nobody: 12:43pm On Dec 31, 2012
pekelepekele: If I were the Son . I will say yes to all the rules but tell her I don't need the phone . What of if she buy me a house she will tell me the time to poop in the toilet, time to go out of the house and others

he's 13 yrs old. teenage years

1 Like

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Nobody: 12:46pm On Dec 31, 2012
pekelepekele:

The question is why buy the 13 year old an Iphone ? and then place those laws on his head. My own kids will never have a phone until they are 16 but they will have a desktop PC not a laptop so that they won't go about with it and the desktop will have a 100% working keylogger installed on it to monitor all they are doing on the internet .

If i want to contact them at school , I will be calling the school principal.

there are so many things that are mobile now than waiting to get home to use a desktop
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Mayowura: 12:51pm On Dec 31, 2012
Thank you!
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by J12(m): 12:55pm On Dec 31, 2012
Trying so hard to look like a sweet mum. Bullshit!

1 Like

Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by hagma37yahoocom: 1:08pm On Dec 31, 2012
pekelepekele:

The question is why buy the 13 year old an Iphone ? and then place those laws on his head. My own kids will never have a phone until they are 16 and not a phone enabled with browsing that will be until they turned 18 but they will surely have a desktop PC not a laptop so that they won't go about with it and the desktop will have a 100% working keylogger installed on it to monitor all they are doing on the internet .

If i want to contact them at school , I will be calling the school principal.
Hum! Like say no be ikorodu you dey stay. I like your swag.
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by 04kaa: 1:09pm On Dec 31, 2012
I cant belief a lot of you are criticising her, no wonder you are all spoilt brats. grin grin
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by sniperwolf(m): 1:11pm On Dec 31, 2012
Though condition for a 13 year old
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Keneking: 1:11pm On Dec 31, 2012
This is the difference between Gregory's mom and Mama Bilikisu. Mama Ayo can never be like Gregory's mom.
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Keneking: 1:12pm On Dec 31, 2012
sniperwolf: Though condition for a 13 year old

You mean tough condition. Are you still at work or doing half-day?
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Keneking: 1:13pm On Dec 31, 2012
04kaa: I cant belief a lot of you are criticising her, no wonder you are all spoilt brats. grin grin

You mean ...i can't believe......
Re: Mom Has Son Sign Agreement For iPhone by Keneking: 1:13pm On Dec 31, 2012
J12: Trying so hard to look like a sweet mum. Bullshit!

You mean ...Trying so hard to be a good and responsible mother....

(0) (1) (Reply)

Do Prenuptial Agreements Work In Nigeria? / How Do You Survive A Loveless Marriage? / Help!i Am Madly In Love With My Wife Best Friend

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See Nairalist and How To Advertise. 57
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.