Episode #7
I got to the gate of the Bode-Williams’ house at 6.45 pm. But the aboki at the gate didn’t allow me to enter, he said I was without an Invitation Card, he even threatened to call the police that I’m a thief. But he didn’t sha, cos I managed to text Annie to come and save me from this tough faced aboki. She came to my rescue after ten minutes of waiting at the gate.
See as she con hug me when she see me, as if sey I be her …errr… her brother. She held my hand as she led me into the house. Olorun mi ooo, na house be dis, na human being dey live here? From the gate, to all the part of the compound I can see for now, the floor is covered with interlocking tiles. The big and well designed house itself is covered in butter coloured paint. Abeg we don dey enter house now, I go describe the house later. It was when we got inside that I noticed that Annie is not even party dressed yet. Wetin happen? I no know, why u dey ask me? Wait make I ask am sef.
“Ahem, Ms. Annie, you are not dressed, may I ask why?” I sound strange to you? I sound strange to myself, this formal way of speaking is not my thing.
“I was waiting for you to come before dressing up, and you obviously came late”
“I’m sorry for coming late, really sorry”
“It’s okay, at least you showed up”
“I’ll get dressed now, then we can meet ,my parents”
She went up the stairs to her room, na my guess be dat sha. After sitting for ten minutes, she showed up. Was she fast or slow? That’s for the ladies to answer.
“I’m ready” she announced
Holy paparoni! This babe is the pictorial definition of beauty. She turned up in light blue ,sleeveless, knee length gown. She had a blue Ankara-designed shoe and bag to match to complement the gown. She had no make up, and she looked beautiful even without make up. She parked her long hair into a bunch. Kai if u come smell dis Shalimar perfume wey she spray, o boy you go lose control totally.
. I fit bet my two balls on top am sey, no man dey dis world wey go see Annie, wey Konji no go catch. Anyway sha we walked hand in hand into the second wing of the house. We entered a large room space with some people in it. By my guess the friends and business associates of the Bode-Williams. We stopped for a few seconds and she looked around searching for someone, by my guess her parents. She seem to have seen someone as she led away.
“Mum, you remember me talking of a Femi? This is Femi. Femi meet my mum”
Kia kia I don dey prostrate dey go “Good evening ma’am”
“Hello my son, how are you?” Annie’s mum greeted me. Mehn Annie looks like her mother, as in come see resemblance.
“I’m fine ma, it’s a nice house and a nice party that you have here ma’am”
“Ooh thank you my son.”
A man that by my guess should be in his late fifties walked up to us. Annie’s dad. Sharp sharp #prostration tinz
He seem to recognize me just on sight. “Young man, you are Femi, no?”
“Yes sir, I’m Femi”
“Very good, Annie told us about you, thank you for your help”
“Oh it was nothing sir”
“Enjoy your evening” and so the pot bellied man rolled away like a balloon.

We finally headed to the section where the real bubbling thingz is going on, the place where the young and trendy were.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come and see the goodness of the Lord. This place is full of ipitombias, bakasis, big big yanshes, bobbies, ikebes. Kai its about to go down low. Chineke me don you mean that these kind of girls exist in Nigeria (there are dudes here as well but me no dey reason dere matter, I no be gay naw”.
Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!! This is serious, I can’t even breathe anymore, the extra large ipitombias, ikebes and bobbies have taken up all the space. It was the feeling of Annie’s soft palm on my hand that convinced me that I’m not dreaming. But if this is a dream then I don’t want to wake up from this sleep ooo.
“Femi” na Annie dey call me but I no hear at all, I just dey look at the mass volume of yanshes before my Christian and born again eyes.
“Femi” she called again, and this time I hear am.
“Yes, oh you were calling me?”
“What were you staring at or should I say who? Oh you are looking at the girls right?”
Kai she don nab me.
“No no no, I was just caught unawares, I didn’t imagine that it’ll be a large gathering like this.”
“Okay ooo if you say so”
“What do you mean? Do you think I carried away by the sight of girls, and I’ve seen better” hmmnnn #forming thingz.
“No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry”
“It’s ok. So what’s the plan are we sitting down or are we going to stand all night?”
“Ok lets get somewhere to sit down”
And by the way we are currently in a garden, I guess sha, cos flowers, trees and all these wooden benches dem, dey here.
We found an empty bench under a tree and decided to sit there. I waited patiently for the thing I hate most. Conversation.

So all this while,,nah dis small. One you fit upload,,lazy bone,,,mtceeeeeew,make I unfollow asap

So,after all d delay na this small tiny stuff u con give us abi? Na laziness dey cause am o.

semid4lyfe: Hmm, go on. . . .

Meanwhile, put a line space between your paragraphs

noted bro

Damex333: So,after all d delay na this small tiny stuff u con give us abi? Na laziness dey cause am o.

skoloppy31: So all this while,,nah dis small. One you fit upload,,lazy bone,,,mtceeeeeew,make I unfollow asap

Abeg make una no vex no be say I dey lazy na because of my exams, abeg make una no vex abeg

O.M.G dis is hillarious.....wat.....guy! U b real comedian.....u've found ur path. If writing stories like dis to make pple happy is all u've got, den u've got everytin, becoz u're nt merely writing a story bt touching lives equally. Pls I wanna plead wit u, don't giv dis up...possibly edit it properly n take 4 publication. U won't believe, bt comedy is 99% antidote 2 d most terminal disease on earth...ofcourse I'm talkin abot fraility of d mind. A lot of pple die everyday nt because of HIV/AIDS or any other disease as such bt because of lack of excitement from dia many troubles! keep d fire burning bro...n pls wia all waiting. 90% waiting............b4 ma waiting finish abeg.....lol! ;DO.M.G dis is hillarious.....wat.....guy! U b real comedian.....u've found ur path. If writing stories like dis to make pple happy is all u've got, den u've got everytin, becoz u're nt merely writing a story bt touching lives equally. Pls I wanna plead wit u, don't giv dis up...possibly edit it properly n take 4 publication. U won't believe, bt comedy is 99% antidote 2 d most terminal disease on earth...ofcourse I'm talkin abot fraility of d mind. A lot of pple die everyday nt because of HIV/AIDS or any other disease as such bt because of lack of excitement from dia many troubles! keep d fire burning bro...n pls wia all waiting. 90% waiting............b4 ma waiting finish abeg.....lol!

onyejiokem: O.M.G dis is hillarious.....wat.....guy! U b real comedian.....u've found ur path. If writing stories like dis to make pple happy is all u've got, den u've got everytin, becoz u're nt merely writing a story bt touching lives equally. Pls I wanna plead wit u, don't giv dis up...possibly edit it properly n take 4 publication. U won't believe, bt comedy is 99% antidote 2 d most terminal disease on earth...ofcourse I'm talkin abot fraility of d mind. A lot of pple die everyday nt because of HIV/AIDS or any other disease as such bt because of lack of excitement from dia many troubles! keep d fire burning bro...n pls wia all waiting. 90% waiting............b4 ma waiting finish abeg.....lol! ;DO.M.G dis is hillarious.....wat.....guy! U b real comedian.....u've found ur path. If writing stories like dis to make pple happy is all u've got, den u've got everytin, becoz u're nt merely writing a story bt touching lives equally. Pls I wanna plead wit u, don't giv dis up...possibly edit it properly n take 4 publication. U won't believe, bt comedy is 99% antidote 2 d most terminal disease on earth...ofcourse I'm talkin abot fraility of d mind. A lot of pple die everyday nt because of HIV/AIDS or any other disease as such bt because of lack of excitement from dia many troubles! keep d fire burning bro...n pls wia all waiting. 90% waiting............b4 ma waiting finish abeg.....lol!

tnx bro

Xup hottprince,long tym nau.
And 4 d story,broz u gat me rolling with laughter when I started reading dis story,keep it up and pls update soon.

@semid, well every homo sapien has d rite to use his brain in an way he deems fit.

Episode #8
“Ahem”
Kai she don start, “Femi, do you mind telling me about yourself?”
“Sure, what do you want to know?”
“Everything, I mean, any detail you can spare”
“Well, you already know my name, I’ll save my age for later. I’m a cool and simple guy, at least that’s what people tell me. I’m a graduate of Business Administration, from Lagos State University, I graduated with First Class honors, but I’m not a Socrates, if you know what I mean. I don’t have much friends and I like it that way. I think that’s all I can gather now, you can ask me any question though,I’ll try to answer to the best of my ability.”
“Okay, what’s your favorite food and color?”
“Well my favorite color is Green and any food that’s not too oily is okay for me, and I don’t eat Onions, I don’t like Water Melon and Pawpaw.”
“Seriously you don’t eat those? Forgive me for saying this but that is weird”
“That’s okay, people say that as well. I think it’s your turn to play, tell me about yourself”
She took her time before continuing.
“Well, you know my name, where I live, I’m not the silent type, I won’t lie about that and I believe you should know that by now. I’m studied Economics at Yale. I didn’t graduate with a First Class honors like you, but I graduated with a Second Class Upper. I’m the first child and daughter of my parents. I have a younger brother and a younger sister, they’re twins. I don’t have a fav food, but my fav color is Blue. You should meet my siblings before you leave.”

We talked about other things and I’m grateful she didn’t ask me about two things, my family and my occupation.
Anyway, her sister came by, and for like ten minutes, the two of them were just chatting away. Good for me, cos it even gave me enough time to feed my eyes on the different and various goodness of the Lord before my born again eyes. But naw e be like sey dey don dey reason my matter.
“Femi meet my sister, Anita. Anita this is Femi” I don’t know why this girl won’t just let me have a nice time with this once in a life time opportunity.
Kia kia I sharply form fine bobo face.
“Oh, nice to meet you Anita”
“The pleasure’s all mine Uncle Femi” hehehehe emi na, #UncleFemi.
Annie left us to get some drinks few minutes later she came back with a bottle of wine, four glasses (the fourth one is for her brother, yup she came back with her brother) and yes some Chicken BBQ.
Ma jaye ori mi, mi o mo eyin ola ooo. I know sey una mouth don dey water, I know e no easy naw, at least make I chop dis one God go provide tomorrow own.

Like play like play, the party don end, of course, I follow Annie dance, I even follow Anita dance sef. And I discussed some “boys stuff” with her brother,okay una never know im name, he is Jide Bode-Williams.
We entered the main house, I wanted to say a personal goodbye to the parents, so I had to wait for like 30 minutes, for them to say goodbye to all their guests. Before going to join them I took a quick glance at the wall clock. Yeh!!! 9.30 don nack ooo.
As I proceeded towards them, the father was the first to sight me. Sharply I don dey prostrate dey go, before im stop me.
“Thanks you sir for the hospitality.” I turned to the wife
“Thank you ma’am I had a nice time”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, it’s getting late you should be on your way now, where is your car parked?”
Car ke, ni bo ni mo ti fe ji.
“No I don’t have a car ma, I came by cab, and I’d better be on my way now”
“Is it not too late, maybe you spent the night here, you can leave tomorrow”
“Oh it’s nothing ma, I’ll just get a cab”
I still dey follow d momcy talk n aim d popcy shook im mouth….

Where pikin no reach,d papa go pass there,
popcy: oya femi, wats ur occupation,and do u live wit ur parents.
Femi: chai,popcy u knw wetin,i go tell u wen i meet u again. No mind me o.

Hot Prince.... Owk, let me bare my mind a little bit....

You don't keep people waiting for long before another update if not they will lose interest and not comment. When ever your post after a long time, they only come viewing.

You've got readers, try to carry everyone along by responding to comments so the whole place can be lively before your next update, if you do that, people will not notice how long you've been away.

Foxy_Rebirth: Hot Prince.... Owk, let me bare my mind a little bit....

You don't keep people waiting for long before another update if not they will lose interest and not comment. When ever your post after a long time, they only come viewing.

You've got readers, try to carry everyone along by responding to comments so the whole place can be lively before your next update, if you do that, people will not notice how long you've been away.

take that advise dearly since its coming 4rm him, he knws wat am sayin.

Foxy_Rebirth: Hot Prince.... Owk, let me bare my mind a little bit....

You don't keep people waiting for long before another update if not they will lose interest and not comment. When ever your post after a long time, they only come viewing.

You've got readers, try to carry everyone along by responding to comments so the whole place can be lively before your next update, if you do that, people will not notice how long you've been away.

floxy ma man...no mind d op...na u sure pas 4 dis nairaland...infact u sure pas seun sef(abeg no tel am o)

Thanks @ all

@ OP great writeup...kip id ccumin...ma mouth is alwayx at work weneva i read dix ur series

Foxy_Rebirth: Hot Prince.... Owk, let me bare my mind a little bit
You don't keep people waiting for long before another update if not they will lose interest and not comment. When ever your post after a long time, they only come viewing
You've got readers, try to carry everyone along by responding to comments so the whole place can be lively before your next update, if you do that, people will not notice how long you've been away.

.
U are right cos dats what I jst did,,he no update for like 3weeks....so u xpect me to comment.....if hin like make update if hin like make he update...so far ibo boy like yoruba dy update..fanta my guy ‎BBB

skoloppy31:
.
U are right cos dats what I jst did,,he no update for like 3weeks....so u xpect me to comment.....if hin like make update if hin like make he update...so far ibo boy like yoruba dy update..fanta my guy ‎BBB

Owk, no pull the guy spirit down...

@ least we can be sure this is fiction. As there have been zero first class business admin grads from lagos state uni. Nice write-up

Episode #9
“No it’s too late, a guest room will be prepared for you.”
Omo e be like sey I gas give in to ds people ooo.
“Alright sir, if you insist.”

Forty-five minutes later
It was as if, this family was waiting for someone like me, someone they can torture with conversation. I was turned into a conversation robot, as in I’ve had a conversation with each one of them, save for the Lord of the Castle himself, Otunba Babatunde Bode-Williams.
And now my ‘trial’ with him is about to begin.
“So Femi, tell me, which school did you attend?”
“Lagos State University sir, I studies Business Administration”
“And you graduated with?”
“I graduated with a First Class sir”
“Wow that’s great, so where do you work?”
Kai this is one of the two questions that I dread far more than playing alone against Barcelona FC. But I have to answer, so I voiced it out and it seem to me like a year to complete the sentence.
“I am currently unemployed sir”
“What! Seriously? No, no, no, that’s too bad, a First Class graduate. What about your parents? they should have been of help to you”
This man why now? Why must you ask me these two questions at the same time, let the bitterness of answering the first sink in at least.
“My parents are late sir. I never knew my Dad, I was told he died in a car crash, a day before my birth. My mom, she died while giving birth to me, I grew up with my grandmother, she is also late, she died during my NYSC programme, that was about a year ago.”
Hmmnnn touching abi? Well that’s the truth.
The man was obviously moved by my story, I was already on the brink of shedding tears, he placed his hand on my shoulder. I’m still holding back the tears, and boy should I tell you this? The whole family were right behind us, at the living room entrance, all of them heard the story.
Otunba finally broke the silence.
“So how have you been fending for yourself?”
“Well, sir I’ll be blunt with this, sometimes, I get paid for the kind of assistance I rendered to your daughter yesterday.” I barely waited for that to sink in, before I tried to excuse myself again.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll like to take my leave now”
“It’s already late, pass the night here, Annie will take you to the guest room.”

Ride on

. Kip id cumin dear...

How far nah,how u go keep us on hold 4 so long,and u re now releasing this small tin.

Episode #10
. I followed Annie up the stairs to the first floor, she led me to a bedroom or should I call it a ‘wall-less flat’ cos the room is very large and spacious.
“There’s a toilet and bath in here, if you want to take a shower” Annie said with her face glued to the light blue fur carpet on the floor. “There’s a clean towel in the bathroom as well” she added. I can sense the pity in her voice.
“If you need anything else just…” I held her hand to signal to her to stop talking.
“I’ll be fine, goodnight.” I said releasing her hand
“Goodnight” she said and she turned to leave.
I closed the door behind me as I entered the room, well I never meant for my day to end like this, but I couldn’t help it. Different thoughts began crossing my mind, from my childhood till now. Only if I had the kind of life that I have always dreamed of, everything would have been different. I laid awake on the bed, for about an hour, before I got up to take a shower, at least if I’ll only have this room for a night, I’d better enjoy it. After using up twenty minutes in the bathroom, I laid on the bed again, this time to sleep.

6.30 am, the following morning.
I knelt by the bed to say a quick prayer. I also recited Psalm 23, at least the verses that I can still remember. I had a cold shower and changed into the cloth I wore yesterday, but without the jacket. I went to the window, just to stare at the beautiful buildings around. I stood there for let’s I went downstairs to the living room, the whole family are having a family devotion. I joined them. The devotion ended about fifteen minutes after I entered the living room and we all exchanged ‘goodmornings’.
“I’ll like to take my leave now sir” I announced after the greetings.
“Won’t you like to have breakfast with us?” that was Anita,
“I’m sorry but I have to go now or I’ll be late for church”
“That’s okay then, you shouldn’t be late for church” that was the popcy now.
I left the Bode-William’s castle and headed straight to my house. Funny enough, I still had like two hours of sleep after I got home. I’ll be late for church abi? Just wait and see.
I entered the church building around 10.30, just 30 minutes to the end of the service. Oh my church’s name? it’s “Dance Opa Gangnam Style for the Lord Ministries” aka “Devil are you a learner?”. No think am ooo crowd plenty for my church die, in fact big big men and women for Lagos wey una think sey no dey go church, na my church dem dey go, in fact my pastor rides a 2012 Toyota Venza, a white Range Rover Evoque and a B.M.W X6 and tithes and offerings are been conveyed to the only God knows where, with Bullion Vans and a Mobile Police convoy every Sunday. What were you thinking? That I attend a poor man’s church? That I’m not rich doesn’t mean I can’t attend a big man’s church, are you a learner? But the thing is the big men and women with their families get to sit in the main auditorium, the middle class ones, i.e the normal folks, sit in what we call ‘Second Level”, while folks like me sit under the canopy, come rain, come sunshine na there, we go hear the sermon. I know you must be wondering how my pastor gave me my suit abi, how im take no me sef, well I didn’t get it directly from him, I’m the second person to use it.
I was lucky I entered after the tithes and offering time, in fact tithes and offerings from my level do not enter the bullion vans, they are special. Maybe that’s what the pastor uses to fix his lunch.
We said the grace and C’est Finir, service don finish, and by the way service starts if you want to come, just let me know I’ll send you the address, oh service starts by 10 am, and ends by 11 am.
Anyway today I trek back home ooo, as I enter my room n aim I crash land on top my bed, just a few minutes later, my phone rang. It’s Annie.
“Hey Femi what’s up?” oh that sweet voice.
“I’m good, you?”
“I’m fine”
“Thank you for the hospitality, and do extend my gratitude to your parents and siblings as well.”
“C’mon it was nothing, it was even fun to have you around. Hey Femi you forgot your jacket in the guest room where you slept”
“Awwww that’s true, you know what if I can’t come over to pick it tomorrow, you can as well throw it away.” See me see forming again, e be like sey I don forget sey dis girl don sabi my tori.
“Nah, I’ll bring it by your house tomorrow”
“Oh please that will be stress full for you, besides my house is not the kinda places you are used to, I don’t want you to get nauseated the moment you get here.”
“Femi stop that. I’ll bring it to your house tomorrow, so send me your address after this call. Okay?”
“Alright then if you insist. Thanks for the call, my regards to everyone.”
“Don’t forget to send the address. Take care, bye”
As I pressed the red button my heart skipped a beat. #Verybigtrouble. Anyway I sent the address and got back to what I use my Sundays for. Sleep.

Hottprince, i go like come ur church oh, shebi first timers go chop fried rice and chicken?

flow1759: Hottprince, i go like come ur church oh, shebi first timers go chop fried rice and chicken?

Long throat,afta rice dem go give u 1759 wit aLomo join com top am wwith wEEd.....hot prince u dey fall ma hand bigtime,u neva finish examz abi?and ur lappy dn smoke igbo like flow again...

But my guy u no try at all,why v go hang up lyk dt.oya nice one,me wan come ur church pm me d address.

do u tink givin out my church's address is free?, anyway i'll giv it out cos we r one, bt let me pray ova it n consult d elders.
And first timers r treated to nice delicacies like fried rice n chicken bt only if u drop big money for tithe n offerin, if u drop small money u'll eat burnt rice n vegetable soup, if u no contribute @ all, u go chop coaster biscuit n zobo