almondjoy:

Davidylan, why can't we be friends on this Nairaland? Anywhere you see ma arse, na so bodi go deey pepper you?
What is the problem? Just tell what you need so I can "Stand Up and Deliver"!!!

I appologise. Friends?

afterall that she has a pharm D, David so coolu temper

Edit: Yay that's better

4Him:

I appologise. Friends?

Always!   I love you very much!

_Hugs!

D-reloaded:

afterall that she has a pharm D, David so coolu temper

Edit: Yay that's better

Thank you!

I actually believe their are men & their are men 3/4 of the men in Nigeria will raise an eyebrow to father a child such as the poster's case. Many men who actually had an affair run away from responsibilities talk more of a one minute thingy. . . I can only say the poster's runaway guy in question will only find it amusing being called to take responsibilities of that child. I'm sure he would have considered that the poster is matured enough to take the risks she took that nite. 1. Putting up with a stranger
2. having sex with a stranger
3. Allowing him to go all the way unprotected.
Wouldn't a normal guy believe she knows what she's doing? Except its a rape case & i don't remember the poster saying she was raped

Its takes a man with an extra-heart to take responsibility of such a child and i tell u under this circumstance its very very rare. He might even think its not his child. I just see this as a lesson to ladies.

@Adeboo
i'm glad u pulled thru.

Mine is when u are faced with challenges don't wail & cry, just look for a way thru.

@post. . .a very strong lesson.

@poster. . .Be strong dear.thank heavens you have something to show for it,no matter how bad it seems now.keep struggling,get your degree at all cost.dont even live in the imagination that the man wud offer any help cos he wont ! you are lucky you even have understanding parents.the worst days wud soon be over.be strong,of good cheer and courageous.

Ok eventually you have to come clean with your parents.

Remember they think you have a fiancee abroad and this is why they might have accepted the situation quickly .Because they feel you are engaged and will be marrying him.

Eventually you either have to tell another lie or come out clean on this with them.

Its clear the guy will not accept the child so if you are looking for child support be ready to take him to court and ask for a DNA test .

Also remember there are nice guys out there and some willing to accept a child which is not theirs .So don't give up on men!

Take courage it will all work out .

banni:

Also remember there are nice guys out there and some willing to accept a child which is not theirs .So don't give up on men!

In Nigeria? Maybe 0.00001%

D-reloaded:

In Nigeria? Maybe 0.00001%

I know in Nigeria its harder but its possible.

My parents will have a fit if I married a girl who had a kid but if I truely loved her I would.

That's nice to know

@D-Reloaded

So you jus believe the boy like that


So all that experience written on your visage is for nought. . . .

You sure say you never carry three pikin so. . . .I fit still marry you sha

No I only have 2 and you're the father or have you forgotten?

Oniranu

@ poster i really feel u and i know its hard for u.
Thank God u have ur family to support you and your child.
I wouldn’t really blame the guy like almondjoy said, its not easy for a man to accept responsibilities of a child he never had any relationship with the mother except a one night stand.
I am not saying the man is justified for his actions but I know with time and prayers he will change.
I would not like to apportion blame to any one but u shld have known better.
I pray God gives u the strength to sail through and eventually find a suitable husband and father for your child amen. !!!!

Carry your cross o !

@minniepoe

I pray God gives u the strength to sail through and eventually find a suitable husband and father for your child amen. !!!!

Thats all we can do for her now (Prayers).

@minniepoe, your 2 boys are lovely. I have 2 boys myself, 2 1/2 years and 4 months old. 

"see your mouth - u got stranded in a room and next thing u begin open yah leg abi? u open am wide, even raise am up, they ride bicycle for air when the guys pumps your obo like air pump, abi? Look - u never hear about CONDOM before? now u come get belle - the guy come dey deny? look - if na u wetin u go do? My advice, lure this guy back to your bed "

I love this response. How on earth is a man expected to believe that the child is his. Honestly, it's annoying. Anyway, i believe she has learnt her lesson and in a hard way too.

@poster
^Sigh
that is really touching. u cnt keep blaming urself for a mistake u made in the past. well shit happens. Just try to be there for ur kid, I respect u for keeping the baby. i really do

I cant phathom how anyone expects that a guy who had a one-night stand will be happy to learn that it has resulted in a baby. A randy guy does not think about having babies; his only thought is in having that moment of passion and walking away from it.

Girls/ladies need to start telling themselves and the younger ones the truth about things and stop decieving younger ones. Guys are unlikely to be happy fathers to products of one-night stands!!! The only guarantee that a guy will be happy to father your child is if you are both married or at least in a very loving relationship. Even at that, it's best to know that he's ready and willing to take the responsibility.

I love almondjoy's post earlier: truthful and bitter

Poster, I wish you the best and I hope things work out for you

Oya! I had a fling approximately 4 years ago, and have a wonderful baby (?) boy to show for it.

The chick did not have ANY other contact detail aside my cell number, and I had to be away from town for 5 months (so the number she had was useless!). I KNEW I got her pregnant, and repeatedly told my colleagues who were with me on th trip away. I got back and went to seek her out. She had told all manners of lies to her people 'cos she really believed I had absconded Yes I know it was EXTREMELY stupid, but in retrospect I think I had the subconscious thoughts that I needed a child of my own.

Though I really did not know my prospective 'babymama' well, I proceeded to court her; time later proved that we were absolutely incompatible, and she really was not psychologically ready to be a mum (she was 22 at the time). Today,I am a single dad,and my dearest babymama has not even called us in 4 months!

my sister, tough as it may be be rest assured that really happy times are in view. I can bet you my golden nuts that in the next few months you'll be asking yourself how you ever even considered having an abortion (you probably did not have 1 cos u were too scared/didnt know how).

There is a very important advantage when you become a parent at an early age, and it is this; you learn to focus on the important things of life much more readily than your contemporaries.

God will see you through dear. ONE!!!

My advise is for you to be strong and continue praying to God.He is with you always.

Ask God to give you the heart to forgive this man,because he will come back for the child.

When i see my daughter and her traits ,i cant but know that i am seeing another me in another body.

God be with you always

Dejike,
i read ur post o, o ga o. well, i feel u should just ask God for the strength to carry on. i cant blame anyone, it is easy for us to cast stones, forgetting that there's no one without faults.

i wish u luck, be sure to bring up ur daughter in a right way, God be with u.

@poster

Everyone is entitled to his/her opinion but as for A'joy have said it all even though some pple may abhor her line of thinking. No man will accept responsibility for that child. He may even think you want to plant the child one him. You met one night and you allowed him in just like that korokoro, he will think that you might have gotten pregnant and was looking for someone to hold responsible.

My sister had a r/ship with a guy for 16months, the guy did not deny the pregnancy but told her to abort and when she refused, he refused to cater for the baby up till now (baby is about 8 months now) not to talk of a one night stand. Haba.

Forget him and move on. It was a fun both of you had and the price has to be borne by you

I had my baby on the 30th of Dec 2007. a very beautiful girl. i had a very quiet naming, i sent a texxt to the father of my girl but he didnt reply. Though my family had been assisting me for the up-keep of my baby but for how long would i be aasking people for assitance of diapers ,baby formular ,post natal and all.?
Most time i feel so ashamed that i cannot directly care for my baby adequately withoust asking for an external assistance.

My baby is two months old and the fear of the unknown grips my heart. .i can't wait to get out of school this year so that i can fend for my baby and i .Sometimess i wish it didnt ever happen.I called the guy some time ago and he claimed he was not aware i have got a baby. . .smetimes i am so confused.

@ poster,everyone is entitled to mistakes,we are all human.
Thank God you decided to keep the baby and not abort.
I thank God you have good parents and you've also learnt from this experience.

I pray that God will grant you a good well paying job,good health and the means to take care of that precious gift and at the right time,you'll fall in love and marry a man who would treat you and your baby right.
Being a single parent is not the end of the world.
There are millions with life threatning challenges that'll rather be in your shoes.
A baby is a blessing even it came unexpectedly.

and lastly just call him one last time and tell him he's always welcome to be a father if he chooses.
He has no bond with the baby.
You do.
You carried her for 40 weeks,he didn't.
Don't expect too much from him.

How are you Dejike?
Your child is lovely.
It's awesome that that child in your profile would not have been alive if you took a different decision.
May God make it able for you to care for that child, Amen.