Blue diamond: @debrie,God bless u 2much. Abj guys are somthn else,o....

I always cringe when i hear "Abuja guys are something else". It has become a cliche and an unfair generalization. There are guys that lie, cheat and pretend, but they are everywhere, not just Abuja. There are also good guys, and Abuja has its fair share of good guys. I have friends who are. I hope I am one too.

born2fuck: A comfort is a woman who moves from husband to husband in search of stable financial background to settle, they end up bearing 5 children for 5 fathers and fault all problems and circumstance on men not know their impatient ruin them

F.klin:
Comfort dey on her own una dey talk about am...mk una leave madam Comfort joor!

Okija_juju: who is comfort?!

Gkiks1406:
This is pathetic!!! It is the after effect of the 419 syndrome... May God help us.

Okija_juju: who is comfort?!

lmfao,u guys r high.

debrief08: He even stole from her mother who came visiting. It was so e$barssing because it was only 3 of them at home.
The mother cried and cried because the bangle was something she never went without, a gift from a her late mother in law who loved her so much and that was all she had to remember her with.

A friend of my friend shared with us how she went to represent her Dad at a wedding, she went with his official car driven by a driver that's how one guy stayed glued to her through out the wedding.
Every morning woke her up with prayer text and BB, 2 weeks after proposed marriage then 2 months into the relationship called her and said he needed to clear some containers and needed a balance of 3million.
The babe told him she is a civil servant and has never seen 3 million in her life, he reduced to 1. 5 furthered reduced to 500k, the babe told him that all she had on her now was 5k, the criminal asked her to send it so he could buy recharge cards and source for the money else where. I laughed so much that day I almost miscarried

Madam your tales might be true but you are one sided in your submission,don't we have ladies who are gold diggers and thievesthey are everywhere jare,I now of a girl who stole a modernised air conditioner remote thinking it was a mobile phone.

It is pity that Pity didn't PITY wat Pity had pitied in the land of Pity

Fredique:

I always cringe when i hear "Abuja guys are something else". It has become a cliche and an unfair generalization. There are guys that lie, cheat and pretend, but they are everywhere, not just Abuja. There are also good guys, and Abuja has its fair share of good guys. I have friends who are. I hope I am one too.

i ain't there ain't good guys in Abj n i also dont mean there r no bad guys evrywia,bt i am talkin based on where it happened 2me,of course we knw things like dis happens evrywia else.even d foreigners do it.

sincerely,do people still marry girls from decent/poor background? i wont. Not for me.

@ Ifihearam, I apologise if my story sounded one sided. Madam CC and Greatgod addressed the issue of women who marry for comfort and I only added another dimension fron the Original Posters submission that It cuts both ways.

We have severally addreseed and even adviced ladies who do such, I am ever an advocate for hard working women and not leaches who think all they need do is open their legs and arms.
I am far from biased.
It is just shameful what happens, and believe me a lot of women get scammed because they want to start up with a man with potential.

@ Gikkis1406, yes I am talking of able bodied men, well dressed, smooth talkers well groomed, always with great business ideas but never seeing any business plan through, They seem to "know" everyone,always have something "Big" in the pieline and nothing in reality.

They go from place to place hoping to "hit it big" yet despising humble beginings, they have everyones contact and phone numbers and their main ambition is to "hit it big". They look for a hard working lady to bankroll their life style or a lady from a rich background, while they move around building castles in the air.
If so many young married women in Abuja open up to you, You will faint. The sad part is even when such men get one small contract with which if they plan properly they can stabilise they will spend the money clob hopping, declaring chapamyne doing "big boy" and buying the biggest car which they will sell again a few months after the money clears.

It is not however a generalisation of Abuja Men, God forbid, far from it, for most part Abuja Men are hard working and good. The stable, humble non flashy ones.
They respect you and respect them selves but this brand of comfort searchers dey plenty.
They meet a lady and their first priority is where she lives and workks.
If she lives in Nyanya she is out of it and if she doesn't work, but if she works with a big organisation and lives in Maitama, Utako, Asokoro and Wuse 2 ehnnn, The gist will flow

thehunted: sincerely,do people still marry girls from decent/poor background? i wont. Not for me.

Assuming she is everything good you want -intelligent, caring, homely, peaceful,and good looking -and the only 'BUT' is that she is from a poor background? Are you saying you wont?

Fredique:

Assuming she is everything good you want -intelligent, caring, homely, peaceful,and good looking -and the only 'BUT' is that she is from a poor background? Are you saying you wont?

It will be difficult ooo,now a man needs a woman that is not a burden to him.remember,if she is from a poor background that means her responsibilities are yours,her parents,siblings,nuclear and extended family. Haba!!!!

E go hard oooo. I nor fit abed nor vex.

as per d abuja guys...they are everywhere claiming what they are not,don't mind them
....my guys during our hangout repeatedly emphasized that i should not make that mistake to marry any lady after suffering for years to get a good job...unless my children will pass through that same stress
Some even suggested i marry naija lady in disapora....i laughed to stuppour i was suprised that these guys despite all their achivement can reason like this...its obvious the economy has a role to play

In as much as everyone wants comfort, the economy to a large extent has given rise to this trend.

This is a good one. Though its an old issue, the truth still remains,'you can't eat where you did not sow'. As a man trying-to-make-it, you won't appreciate a woman who wants to sit on you passenger side of your car and hoping to make the sit a permanent sit. If she can't stick out her support when things are rough, she definitely those not deserve to be a permanent.

I still believe no man will be with a woman when there is nothing and want to dump her when things turn out good. The only time when it is otherwise is when the woman pretends to be supportive and at the same time cheats on him or like they say, create an alternative in case the man fails.

I don't expect women to learn, I bet 20years from now this topic will still be heaten.

These are common problems that rich guys and ladies have, its better to find a true lover while you are still struggling and managing, cos once you become rich everybody wants to be your friend and even love you so much, that they don't need to know your name, you hardly had 10% of people around you that truly love you. People you will likely see around you when you are rich are those that always need your help, those that admire to be as rich as you are, those that want to do business with you, those that want to dupe you, people that want to marry you because of money, people that want you to change their lives and they will disappear after that, you will see people that don't love you but wish to have kids for somebody like you, and so on. You will hardly know true love among all these people because they will show you equal love until they get what they want from you. So it good start your true love from scratch or average stage in life and build together to become comfortable.

thehunted: sincerely,do people still marry girls from decent/poor background? i wont. Not for me.

I dey ur back bro...

@mama debrief. U r correct o! Abj guys dey vex o! Most of them r like dat o! Out of every 10 males of marriageable age at least 6 r the types u just described.Only God wil help us.

ifihearam:

Madam your tales might be true but you are one sided in your submission,don't we have ladies who are gold diggers and thievesthey are everywhere jare,I now of a girl who stole a modernised air conditioner remote thinking it was a mobile phone.

Some girls are greedy

debrief08: He even stole from her mother who came visiting. It was so e$barssing because it was only 3 of them at home.
The mother cried and cried because the bangle was something she never went without, a gift from a her late mother in law who loved her so much and that was all she had to remember her with.

A friend of my friend shared with us how she went to represent her Dad at a wedding, she went with his official car driven by a driver that's how one guy stayed glued to her through out the wedding.
Every morning woke her up with prayer text and BB, 2 weeks after proposed marriage then 2 months into the relationship called her and said he needed to clear some containers and needed a balance of 3million.
The babe told him she is a civil servant and has never seen 3 million in her life, he reduced to 1. 5 furthered reduced to 500k, the babe told him that all she had on her now was 5k, the criminal asked her to send it so he could buy recharge cards and source for the money else where. I laughed so much that day I almost miscarried

Lol.funny enough some of these guys are now in Lagos.shop rite has become their spot.most times they walk through the car parks searching for a lady with a hot ride.the lady doesn't even notice,but the guy keeps a eye on her.initially they approach you as if its a businsess deal.most painful part some of the guys are not even wise enough to take some few seconds to atleast see if their a wedding ring on the lady's finger.from business in turns into Love.they are tired of where they work.they want to invest.talk so negative about their family members.need some loan

debrief08: @ Ifihearam, I apologise if my story sounded one sided. Madam CC and Greatgod addressed the issue of women who marry for comfort and I only added another dimension fron the Original Posters submission that It cuts both ways.

We have severally addreseed and even adviced ladies who do such, I am ever an advocate for hard
working women and not leaches who think all they need do is open their legs and arms.
I am far from biased.
It is just shameful what happens, and believe me a lot of women get scammed because they want to start up with a man with potential.

@ Gikkis1406, yes I am talking of able bodied men, well dressed, smooth talkers well groomed, always with great business ideas but never seeing any business plan through, They seem to "know" everyone,always have something "Big" in the pieline and nothing in reality.

They go from place to place hoping to "hit it big" yet despising humble beginings, they have everyones contact and phone numbers and their main ambition is to "hit it big". They look for a hard working lady to bankroll their life style or a lady from a rich background, while they move around building castles in the air.
If so many young married women in Abuja open up to you, You will faint. The sad part is even when such men get one small contract with which if they plan properly they can stabilise they will spend the money clob hopping, declaring chapamyne doing "big boy" and buying the biggest car which they will sell again a few months after the money clears.

It is not however a generalisation of Abuja Men, God forbid, far from it, for most part Abuja Men are hard working and good. The stable, humble non flashy ones.
They respect you and respect them selves but this brand of comfort searchers dey plenty.
They meet a lady and their first priority is where she lives and workks.
If she lives in Nyanya she is out of it and if she doesn't work, but if she works with a big organisation and lives in Maitama, Utako, Asokoro and Wuse 2 ehnnn, The gist will flow

Everything you wrote here are ingredients meant to cook for lies for greedy girls. If you are hard working as a woman, you will know when words are marble and when words are action

annystarz: In as much as everyone wants comfort, the economy to a large extent has given rise to this trend.

10000AD till now, same story. Economy has little to do with. Love is all that matters

Abeg let's stop deceiving ourselves. We all marry for comfort except if probably the woman Is pregnant n d man is tryin to b gentleman by havin to marry her, other than that its comfort all d way. If its love, its translate to comfort cos u bliv only your loved one can comfort and satisfy you. Also for those that doesn't bliv in love,they substitute with money. Life is about choice, what works for you may b a no-no for me. As for me, I married a wonderful guy dats struggling,cos he's my love, plus he's God fearing and he gives me comfort.
Meanwhile learn not to judge anyone for the decisions they make. Be it money or love, its stil a big risk anyway

I kinda support you a little, the fact is 99% of girls from a poor background have greedy attitude. Its not really their fault. Poverty has a kind of chemical reaction that produce greed. A poor girl will definitel want more.

ifihearam:

It will be difficult ooo,now a man needs a woman that is not a burden to him.remember,if she is from a poor background that means her responsibilities are yours,her parents,siblings,nuclear and extended family. Haba!!!!

E go hard oooo. I nor fit abed nor vex.

ifihearam:

Madam your tales might be true but you are one sided in your submission,don't we have ladies who are gold diggers and thievesthey are everywhere jare,I know of a girl who stole a modernised air conditioner remote thinking it was a mobile phone.

Are you serious bro? ;DHer long hand has reached another level. She really got talent in stealing.

imonpoint: Abeg let's stop deceiving ourselves. We all marry for comfort except if probably the woman Is pregnant n d man is tryin to b gentleman by havin to marry her, other than that its comfort all d way. If its love, its translate to comfort cos u bliv only your loved one can comfort and satisfy you. Also for those that doesn't bliv in love,they substitute with money. Life is about choice, what works for you may b a no-no for me. As for me, I married a wonderful guy dats struggling,cos he's my love, plus he's God fearing and he gives me comfort.
Meanwhile learn not to judge anyone for the decisions they make. Be it money or love, its stil a big risk anyway

At the end its all love. Any other risk like money is bound to fail

Charliemorgano: as per d abuja guys...they are everywhere claiming what they are not,don't mind them
....my guys during our hangout repeatedly emphasized that i should not make that mistake to marry any lady after suffering for years to get a good job...unless my children will pass through that same stress
Some even suggested i marry naija lady in disapora....i laughed to stuppour i was suprised that these guys despite all their achivement can reason like this...its obvious the economy has a role to play

I want ur friend. They are the bast a man can have.

Actually, it's the comfort that's why you see marriages of over 50years. Love fades after a while. You can ask anyone who's being married for decades. So, there is nothing wrong with it. Forget the fairytales you hear everyday, the love you felt when you started dating doesn't last.

If you want to marry for love, comfort, s€x, money, etc who are you to judge? Deal with yóur own marriage and mind your business.

Fredique:

Assuming she is everything good you want -intelligent, caring, homely, peaceful,and good looking -and the only 'BUT' is that she is from a poor background? Are you saying you wont?

You can also get a girl with all these qualities from a comfortable home who wouldnt be so keen on your wealth.

Rotflmao @ Debrief. OMG, are you kidding? I had one pestering me. I said I was not available, but he was not hearing. Then he procceeded to try to sell me some of their banK products and in the same vein propose marriage. I laughed that day in his face to where I almost fainted. I had never experienced such a thing in my life. I agree to go for potential, if you yourself have potential. But be true to yourself, if the guy is just not it, bone potential. Abeg, all these retired scammers cannot have potential, let's be real. They will forever sh*it where they make a living. Is it a curse? I really don't know. Honestly, if someone stole from my mum, that will be the end. Would have just packed the load at the front door in the middle of the night so my mum, and by extension all my family members won't hear. Will just say he left. Chei! This is too much o. Do I blame those who marry for comfort? No. If you have been comfortable all your life, its kind of hard to enter struggling mode especially in naija. Please I hope those preaching potential consider that most of the people reading this live in naija. Me, na love and comfort too. Would rather have married a farmer than a man that begs and lives pretentious or on his father's name. All in the name of potential.

As a guy, am already comfortable. (from birth). So I will marry for "Peace of Mind" and Love (that is if it comes my way). But if not, I marry the girl that will give me the least wahala in marriage. I promise to provide for and the children, but if wahala come too much for her side... I go find a safe haven elsewhere.

Almost every woman and man wants comfort, but if a lady marries solely for the comfort, she should pray very hard that she is marrying a man with conscience who will not send her to an untimely grave.

ifihearam:

It will be difficult ooo,now a man needs a woman that is not a burden to him.remember,if she is from a poor background that means her responsibilities are yours,her parents,siblings,nuclear and extended family. Haba!!!!

E go hard oooo. I nor fit abed nor vex.

If your woman is the last girl in a poor family, No wahala.
If she is an only child or orphan living with uncles, No wahala.
But if she is the first or second daughter in a family of 5, 6 or 7 with younger brothers & sisters.... my brother run.

To be frank with you love shouldn't be the only factor in marriage by the way the bible never mentioned that we should marry the person we love but that we should love the person we marry.  

Personally I don't see anything wrong marrying for comfort as a matter of fact I encourage girls from not too well to do families to marry from well to do family and vice versa to balance an equilibrium. marriage should be a plus in all ramifications and not a minus.

  Let me state that love hardly endures poverty. What will be the fate of your love if you partner can't provide your basic needs plus some amount of luxury to garnish your love?  

Money is not everything but it is more comfortable to cry inside of a Royce Ross than ontop of a bicycle.  

Finally for me I won't marry unless am really comfortable enough to carter for the needs of my wife and any two others

debrief08: Sadly even men these days marry for comfort.
Come and see them everywhere in Abuja, claiming to be "business men and contractors" yet them no get kobo.

They will target bankers and working ladies, daughters of Governors and Ministers, You meet them after 2 or 3 dates they start asking for loans.

Let everyone be careful, everybody be productive and respect themselves.
So many gold diggers men and women around. A younger friend married one like that he will steal her jewelry and sell, even sold their wedding ring. Twice she got him a job, The first he said was beneath him, the second he said didn't fit into his dreams.
He would disappear for months and reappear again. Once the rent was due she refused to pay he left for months when he came back she had moved, he called her she met him at the Police Station with his friends place with his load and divorce papers, she believed in him, believed they could build a life together but stealing is another thing.
He loved driving her car picking up ladies, bringing them home, they will eat and leave he plates and pots for her to come and wash.

I believe in growing and building together but make sure it is someone who has focus not an aimless contractor.
They are all over the place in Abuja.

My dear friend almost married one like that, everyday stories, its either the man he gave money for cement died or the foreman had an accident and their money got lost, poor lady was about to take a bank loan having spent her savings bailing him out of different stories when I called her.
The same man who is always in trouble and "Unlucky" with investments always has money to buy beer every evening.

madam debreif said it all,am in abuja too the problem is there are so many women out there who wants to grow with the men but are the MEN willing to grow up ? i having no issues dating a guy with prospect but the issue i have is mostimes the men are big talkers, how will i start with a man from the scracth and he dosent want to start small for himself , i knew a guy that only wanted to do goverment job which takes forever to get, he had pride to the beam and anytime we had issues he will tell me that am full of my self God abeg oh

Chrisbenogor: Yo,

Personally I think marriage should be a strategic partnership, based on mutual trust, a solid foundation , two characters that compliment each other and love if you can afford it.
In today's world it is financially suicidal not to consider the economics of that partnership, study it's potential like any business venture before delving into it. Today's society is a lot more complex than I marry the next girl with big nyanch and booobi or ohhhhhhh he iS so cute tall , dark and handsome. The most important part of any structure is its foundations , ain't nothing wrong with marrying for comfort.

thank you, i belive marriage should be like a merger not one sided i know of a sister who got married to a guy in abuja within 2weeks of meeting him, and of course in the usual fashion she will everything to the fool and one year later after selling everything she had,to invest in his fake container bussiness what next he eloped leaving her with nothing as for me i will marry some one who we are at the SAME LEVEL then we take it up from there