Ournaija: Thank you so much. I have given this serious thought thru and thru. My heart still goes for the other lady though not perfect and successful as this other lady but I love her. Initially, I thought she no send me until I found out. She loves me dearly tooo. My friend whom I dont want hurt is also dear to me.

Please stop insulting this dear friend of yours. Ahn ah. You said you want to go with someone else and you keep making it look as if she has chained herself to your desk at work abeg stop this. So when are you planning to tell her? Anytime soon? Or you will keep avoiding her calls and acting funny until she gets the message. Free the girl just like you found yourself true love. Someone will find her too. Stop worrying about her she will be right as rain.

Maybe some dude is hitting on her already when you tell her, her heart will be free for the dude.

dvonne: Go with the one you love !

Anyone advising you to go for someone who loves you has never been married. You will wake up beside that person for the next 70 years. Loving some one comes from the soul not their achievements rather your soul recognizes them as the right fit for you and this does not mean they are perfect but they are perfect for you.

A woman who tries to woo a man by calling him all the time is setting herself up for disappointment anyway.
This is such an important decision for you please do not marry out of pity , politely tell the other lady that you have found love and pray she does too.

Do not rely on the other lady's love which can change in future rather rely on the love you feel in your heart

Introduce her to your single friends.

Gba o! Never ever marry someone out of pity or someone you don't love. I don't know how people can live a lifetime with someone they don't love. I dated someone out of pity, and I grew to be sooo irritated by the person. Everything the person did just made me angry. I had to call that relationship off. That had to be one of the worst periods of my life and even worse for the guy because I just didn't care at all. I believe a man should marry a woman he loves more. Because men's desires can be fleeting. That love they feel, gives them more hesitation to misbehave. For some people, pity marriage might work. But not for others. This life is too short to be with someone you will end up detesting. Forget what anyone's opinion is. You will live forever with this person. Go with your own heart. Aunty asheju will be fine. Just tell her straight, that you are getting married soon. You hope she finds someone soon. She will be hurt for a bit, but that is better than you hurting her for a lifetime because you just get angry when you see her. And when you see the woman you should have married, whom you loved you feel like killing yourself.lmao. Don't dull, be decisive and straight up. She will respect you more that way. It is possible and the ideal situation to marry someone you love and the person loves you back. Don't let that opportunity slip, it doesn't come often. Forget that other chick. Besides being friends and being in a relationship or marriage can be two separate experiences altogether. Good friends don't always make the best spouses. A friendship that turned relationship can be a disaster of epic proportions.

andromida:

Please stop insulting this dear friend of yours. Ahn ah. You said you want to go with someone else and you keep making it look as if she has chained herself to your desk at work abeg stop this. So when are you planning to tell her? Anytime soon? Or you will keep avoiding her calls and acting funny until she gets the message. Free the girl just like you found yourself true love. Someone will find her too. Stop worrying about her she will be right as rain.

Maybe some dude is hitting on her already when you tell her, her heart will be free for the dude.

That's the part I don't understand . . .
He keeps acting like the girl will comit suicide if he leaves her . . . says who?
I just don't get the way some men think!

Ujujoan:

That's the part I don't understand . . .
He keeps acting like the girl will comit suicide if he leaves her . . . says who?
I just don't get the way some men think!

I tell you something i have never seen a its not even break up become so dramatized its beginning to look like the guy wants to keep the girl on the fringe or is enjoying the fact that someone likes him. The funny part maybe the girl has even moved on.

andromida:

I tell you something i have never seen a its not even break up become so dramatized its beginning to look like the guy wants to keep the girl on the fringe or is enjoying the fact that someone likes him. The funny part maybe the girl has even moved on.

Me sef dey wonder. We've given him several advice, yet he keeps repeating himself. May be he wants the 2 of them.

OP, u need to let go of this gal b4 u hurt her further. And face reality that she will stop hanging around you once u tell her. Thinking she will still be ur close friend after choosing the other girl over her is being in denial. U can't eat ur cake and have it. U've made ur choice, move on.

LMAO . . .
The guy's living in delusion jor.
My best friend loves me, my gf loves me more . . . bla bla bla!
Dreaming things!

Ujujoan: LMAO . . .
The guy's living in delusion jor.
My best friend loves me, my gf loves me more . . . bla bla bla!
Dreaming things!

LMAO

Thank you all, especially the women/ladies in the house. I think I have got an idea of how to handle the whole situation. Was just been careful not to harm an innocent friend.

@OP and all those who care to read, LOVE is not an emotion or feeling, its a decision nurture through time... Feelings and emotions fade, but decision made through time will stand the test of time... Though, this is an old thread, your decision about emotion in thinking you love the other girl may be infatuation or feelings out sexual aspirations. Maybe the other girl is "richly endowed" with feminine physique more than your "friend" and that is swelling up hormones in you.. My brother, Love is never about emotion.
From your submission, I believe you are not sincere with the "feelings/emotion" stuff...
Leave career/whatever you term success out of this, ask yourself these questions, which of the ladies have what it takes to be a wife, in terms of maturity of mind and decision making, how do they treat their fellow and people seem to be below them, which of them can offer you godly and responsible advice when needed... Marriage is more than just having a parochial feeling for a woman, its about taking real decision to go with a lady that will turn out to be gold for your life and fulfillment.
If you have made your decision, I wish you luck in life with your decision.

Ournaija, what was your decision ?