mofolorunshoabi:

He wants to get an appartment for me yet he is asking the court for dissolution of the marraige so he can marry the wodow of 4. Pls advice me, I love him so much and he was the one that disvirgined me.

mofolorunshoabi: My decision to meet with him in hotel is primarily to see if he can recind his decision to take the kids to the east.

mofolorunshoabi: I got married at 23 to a 34yr old man. The marriage has produced 3 lovely kids. The relationship was based on pure love as my husband had nothing then. As time went on I was made to realise that while am married to my husband, he is married to his family, especially his mother. Am a lagosian while he is from the eastern part. All the quarells we had is over issues like his friend advising him to change kids sch saying its too expensive etc. It got so bad that anytime we quarel, his mother and sister will tell him to send me away. He did at one time and his sister started staying with him for over one year. The issue was reconciled and I went back. We have 2girls and a son but I decided to put a hold on having kids for now because he gives us 3,000 for feeding weekly which was grossly inadequaate. I pay for lesson teacher, pay for dstv, augment feeding allowance weekly, give our first child in boarding sch pocket money and buy her provisions, bought most of the gadgets at home on lease and pay thru my salary. My sin with my in-laws is that I refused to have another son but none of them cared to know how we are managing as a family. For almost 2yrs now that he chased us out after a qarrel, we have been staying with my parents and I have been responsible for the kids welfare and others. He has thus relocated to another part of town and living with a widow of 4 kids; a lady he had dated while they were in university in the east. He has filed for a divorce now saying he wants to take the kids to his mum in the east so they will learn his language. The matter is up for hearing now but the twist to the story now is that we are still romantically involved. [size=18pt]We meet often in an hotel[/size] and he tells me it was a mistake that we both made especially on my not having more male children. He wants to get an appartment for me yet he is asking the court for dissolution of the marraige so he can marry the wodow of 4. Pls advice me, I love him so much and he was the one that disvirgined me.

mofolorunshoabi: [size=18pt]My decision to meet with him in hotel is primarily to see if he can recind his decision to take the kids to the east.[/size] I will do anything to see my kids happy but let them know mummy is not the problem . He is so particular about his language, yet he came to marry me a yoruba girl. Let me add here that what led to the quarell was that he said he saw a suggestive msg when he hacked into my phone and asked me to leave! I called his most senior brother to report to him but he said I shld hold on until the family decides. I was still waiting when I got the divorce papers.The judge advised us to have a reconciliation as to the welfare of the kids. He is proposing that kids stay in bording school for now but he will take TOTAL custody once they are in university. I have told him NO that I want the custody to be shared equally. My reason for this is to be able to monitor the progress of the kids and their well beign. I guess since we can't reach a compromise now, the judge will now hear our application.

jidegirl12: Well I'm still gonna cry over spilled milk;

When you tell these Yoruba girls to wait for their time, they'll say sebi you don marry, this rush rush marriage sef tire me jare ,
Even the story is unreal and grossly presented( I believe her tho ), that's why they call Yoruba girls names, can you imagine how gullible she sounds? And you go school o?
The guy prefers his own culture even after 4! In a long run, there's nothing like somebody you understand to spend the rest of your life with.

@baby, she will never listen, they will rob her and continue to chance/ take advantage of her hardwork till eternity. I'm very irritated.

baby_123: OP its best you get custody of your kids and let him have visitation rights. He obviously will have his hands full with his new step children. He wont have the time to take care of his kids who he can abandon since he cannot get 2 sons. Your kids should not be kept from their father, but you need to get custody. This guy is irresponsible, so their best interest should be priority. He obviously cant afford to take care of his kids financially, emotionally, mentally and physically. *

jidegirl12: @sisi don start her own o .... una dey use crystal ball? ... OP ko regberegbe e comot for here jare if @sisi is right.
On a serious note... It's unimaginable what some girls go thru all in the name of marriage. She married at 23 so it's very possible.

jidegirl12: @ baby , and she will take him back again and the cycle will never end! Pathetic !

jidegirl12: @sisi don start her own o .... una dey use crystal ball? ... OP ko regberegbe e comot for here jare if @sisi is right.
On a serious note... It's unimaginable what some girls go thru all in the name of marriage. She married at 23 so it's very possible.

mofolorunshoabi: Thank u all for ur various contributions. You don't know how relieved I am reading them all. Somebody erronously quoted my age to be 34. Am 39 now and the man will be 50 this year. This is not superstory. It is happening to me NOW as I speak. Our first born will be 15 while the last child is 12 this year. Honestly I did not bargain for this. My naiveity has caused me a lot. Even my husband, the petitioner said it in court that "this woman has been a wonderful woman" because I did everything to support him. What he is planning is to keep the kids in the east so they can learn ibo while he stays in lagos with the widow. My major concern is if it is possible for me to get 50/50 custody of the kids because what pple are saying is that in Nigeria law, fathers must have custody of their children once they are above 7. This is a trying period for me please I need ur advise and prayers.