whats going on

@ Randy
Like you need tellin it's her career.

too much oyibo lifestyle. and no be only women fault. guys follow too.

in most cases women ask for divorce. they'd rather get a divorce than work to get the marriage on the right path.

@ poster

The major and most reason is that lots of people marry for the wrong reason
Some even dont understand the institution b4 ventureing into it
Ones mind shld be sound and well prepared,where not,d marriage wil definetly hit the rock

Fall in moral standards.Infidelity taking charge.

Results of westernization

Kalmebad got it right in my opinion.

A lot of these people should not have been married to each other in the first place. Rightly or wrongly, they chose not to 'endure' anymore and be happy alone or with someone else.

No real [b]LOVE[/b is the love of materials gains,
Also, ladies of nowadays are not [b]submissive[/b\ to men

@ Topic,

I think most pple get married at a time that they are not fully ready for a commitment, and

Then when it hits them that the union is for life, things start to fall apart, like literally fall apart.

Our women lives in Africa but have the western mentality.

You men really slay me, honestly. You have blamed everything on the woman, from westernization, to education, to career, to just plain over-sabi and strong-head. What responsibility have men taken when their marriages turn sour? Go to bars and night clubs, at least 90% of them are married men. Out till the early hours, every damn day. Every single weekend is to hang with the boys, drinking and chasing every skirt that comes his way. How many married men spend private time with their wives, to get to know her as a person, not just mama bomboy? When my husband takes me to a bar or a club sometimes, a lot of his married friends grumble about it (not to my hearing), as per " Why you bring Madam here, na?" So I won't blow their cover. You can't eat your cake and have it. A woman needs to be more than a baby factory, a cook, and a housekeeper, whom you have sex with occasionally. While you carry on living the life of a bachelor, while retaining the social respectability of being a married man. Things don change. Woman have realised that it take 2 to make a marriage work, not just her. You guys need to bring it. And if she isn't getting fulfilment, she can leave.

Arielle true words.

I agree w/@Arielle has said it all!!!

Ariellle you are my hero.

All this men, they can't even take responsibility for their own inadequacies.

arielle has said it all, a good marriage is made up of 2 good people and vice-versa the good ,thing is that it doesnt affect the price of foodstuff in the market

Arielle, more wisdom to u.

hold on! u don't expect a woman whom u don't treat properly to remain with u foreva.no no no.

maybe she can't take any more trash and may deciede to leave, but i see no how she would just get a divorce for nothing so say she wants a new person or wat

u see people, when u are married, u have made a lifetime commitment. sometimes in marriages there is love and

sometimes there is no love, so if she says she no longer loves her man that's bull crap she justs wants to act white ok. take or leave it

"WHY HAS DIVORCE RATE INCREASED IN OUR COUNTRY."


Too much westernization.

Poster:
I have asked myself this question many times and I have come to the conclusion that the end of the world is very close. Think about the numerous churches in NIgeria and you will be disappointed at the rate of corruption, including divorce, in Nigeria. When you consider the amount of money and effort used during a marriage ceremony , you will think that the marriage will last forever, but nay. In fact, the more money spent during a wedding and the more so-called dignitaries that attend, the faster the marriage l crumbles. What baffles me most about Naija generally is that our[b] prayer warriors [/b] bind and cast devil away during prayers, yet marriages fall apart with ease as if the couple were the ones bound in order for the devil to overcome them. True, marriages collapse faster when they are imposed by parents, based on materialism or built on "let me marry just to escape societal insult because I am overdue". Moreover, when husband and wife become independent of one another, in the name of modernisation, divorce becomes a friend to such a family. What of sexual promiscuity on both sides? In fact, Lord have mercy on your people

@anielle and cohorts . . . wait a minute

have u done any study to find out why many married men hang out in the bars and night clubs? mu natural instincts tell me that most human beings will love to be where they are comfortable the most. have u guys given a thought to why the bar seems more comfortable for the married man? is his home hell? is his wife a perpetual headache?
does he have any respect at home?

now i know the average man loves his wife and children, but the average man doesnt like wahala and cant match a woman in verbal wahala.

dont conclude, do a study, it takes two to make a marriage and trust me, it takes two to destroy it. one person can make a marriage hell, but it takes two to terminate it.

if u ask me, the proliferation of feminism has a large role to play in high divorce rates.

truth hurts

toshmann:

if u ask me, the proliferation of feminism has a large role to play in high divorce rates.

Everything that everyone here has said has truth in it, but no one thing here is the sole cause for higher (and increasing) divorce rates. We can blanket the whole situation with the idea of Westernization. That summarizes most, if not all, of what everyone has said. Under this blanket/umbrella of Westernization, I do believe that what toshmann stated about feminism is true. It plays a very large role in this issue of high divorce rates.

@ men

Na to blame women una sabi. Una fit complain from now till tomorrow and who wan divorce you go still divorce you.

Toshman and his lame excuses as usual

So dudes run to bars and run after other women to escape "madam's wahala"

Why did they marry madam in the first place then? Who made them marry a "human headache"? Who did the proposal? You or Her?

Are you going to actually lie that some dudes, despite having an angel at hme, don't still roam outside?

I'm so bored with all these hypocrites/liars. Same ol' gibberish 24/7

I blame both sides; men and women. Also, why is it that when it comes to these "gender wars" women always want to make it seem as if they are not at fault in any way, shape or form?

KarmaMod:

Toshman and his lame excuses as usual

haba, do i know you? and do you know me? yet u say ''as usual'' abeg, we may disagree but be civil. abeg.

So dudes run to bars and run after other women to escape "madam's wahala"

u may disagree and i respect that. i dont think i said that was a good thing. did I? i only tried to look at the bigger picture of a problem. as i always do. treat a disease not just a symptom. men going to the bar may be a result of a horrible home. u may disagree but i want to let you know as a man that the average man will not be able to cope at home with a nagging wife. especially at this rough economic environment. after a hard day's hussle, the last thing a man wants is to come home and face a nagging woman. it drives the average man crazy. know it, it may help you in the future.

however that is not to say a man should not face problems at home.

Why did they marry madam in the first place then? Who made them marry a "human headache"? Who did the proposal? You or Her?

men marry whom they love. i dont know how old u are but i do know that even ordinary boyfriend/girlfriend love is not as sweet as it was by the time they date for 1 yr. things happen in a rlshp. things go sour. and if u are really old enough you'll know that. but the difference is how people react with thier spouses when the going gets tough/sour

Are you going to actually lie that some dudes, despite having an angel at hme, don't still roam outside?

i never said that. dont put words into my post. but if you want to say that, remember there are women who cheat on their loving, rich, and even handsome husbands. that is life.

I'm so bored with all these hypocrites/liars. Same ol' gibberish 24/7

i'm bored with them too. i'm also bored with people who cant debate without going personal. i'm also bored with people who read something and interprete something else. i'm also bored with having to explain what i post even when i try to post in simple english.
i'm terribly bored with stories of marital failures and finger pointing/blame shifting instead of working to solve problems
here again is what i said earlier on . . .for those who cant read well

toshmann:

don't conclude, do a study, it takes two to make a marriage and trust me, it takes two to destroy it. one person can make a marriage hell, but it takes two to terminate it.

finally i leave by repeating that no study has been done to elucidate the immediate and remote causes of failed marriages and until that is done we can only talk, post, misinterprete and contnue to live with it as we have been living with every sh-t in that country

ChinenyeN:

I blame both sides; men and women. Also, why is it that when it comes to these "gender wars" women always want to make it seem as if they are not at fault in any way, shape or form?

care to show where anyone said women can't also be at fault

Show me one post here that didnt imply it was the fault of "westernized women". I mean how dare they want to leave when their husbands are having extramarttal affairs in the neighborhood, how dare they leave if they are being abused instead of sucking it up like they are supposed to? ABI?

You have toshmann there with his usual "blame the woman" charade. You think wives don't get sick of their husbands as well? Reason why they or should I say most don't run to "bars" or whatever is because they have children to raise and also society would look down on THEM if they did.

They say men are more about logic while women are about emotions abi? Why can't Mr man use logic to get his home in order if he believes it
s not "peaceful", instead of running away like children? Ironically in the hands of OTHER WOMEN who are just as worse and then the cycle continues. Guess they're not as smart as they think eh?

Men are also known for starting divorces as well so whats the issue?

Why are you people so concerned anyway, if two people dotd find themselves fit to stay married, how is it affecting your life. You might whine about "moral decay" but it still doesnt concern you as only the couple know the reason for the breakup. Not amebo outsiders just judging things irrationally.

when divorce rates were low, did that stop Naija from being the shame of Africa? Abeg make we hear word.

toshmann:

after a hard day's hussle, the last thing a man wants is to come home and face a nagging woman. it drives the average man crazy. know it, it may help you in the future.

You;re the one that's been engaged for 5 years now. Seek advice for yourself not moi. If your wife is nagging, find out why. Women tend to nag IF you don't pay attention. It's then called "nagging" because she's reapeating herself 20 times and you guys don't feel the need to respect her and consider her words the first time
A husband with common sense would get to bthe bottom of the issue so it will stop instead of frolicking like a pervert that's just been acquitted

B.T.W. men also nag and the same applies, usually it's that the wife isnt taking his words seriously hence the nagging.

The one sided nonsense is sincerely irritating.

KarmaMod:
when divorce rates were low, did that stop Naija from being the shame of Africa? Abeg make we hear word.

divorce rate has always been high in naija. people may not have noticed. so is co-habiting and serial/multiple relationships.

JJYOU:

divorce rate has always been high in naija. people may not have noticed. so is co-habiting and serial/multiple relationships.

True, Im just wondering why people think it's a "new trend"

KarmaMod, seriously now. I didn't, in any way imply that women cannot be at fault. I only asked a simple question. Maybe I should rephrase my question. . . why is it that women talk as though it is always (generally speaking) solely the man's fault? That is what I meant by asking why women make it seem as if they aren't at fault in any way, shape or form. Both men and women know that they are usually, generally at fault. No one is denying that. So just relax.

ALSO, I said I blame the men as well. I blame both sides for whatever leads into a divorce. Both sides have a part to play in a marriage and divorce (generally speaking). There are exceptions though (like everything else in life), but generally speaking I will blame both sides for the marriage and divorce. I'm not arguing with anyone here. I'm not disagreeing with anyone here. I did also state that I believe that most, if not all, posts here have a bit of truth to them (dealing with the big picture). My intention is to not get personal about the issue. I'm only speaking generally, looking at the big picture. Don't be so quick to raise your pitchfork and lighted torch, demanding my head. I did nothing wrong.

Man, these gender wars really shake people up, especially women.

ChinenyeN:

Don't be so quick to raise your pitchfork and lighted torch, demanding my head. I did nothing wrong.

Do you generally think everything is about you? That's a female trait you know. Suggest you deal with it.
Can a person reply anything without people think Im specifically referring to them. My first comment for some reason you made it about You. Congrats you're the ONE person who said both men and women are to blame, so that means I shouldnt say anything anymore despite the fact that majority claim otherwise?