---

How about you send him a message asking him the reason for him being cold?

Mynd_44: How about you send him a message asking him the reason for him being cold?

the moment you do this, DESPERATE is the flying word. You will just confirm yo are desperate.

In this game, just appear very casual. You may cook up another issue that needs his professional advice and insist he is the only one whose advice can solve it. Make it look or sound casual. This should get you guys to start talking again.
Best of luck

This does not sound bad

Gboliwe:
the moment you do this, DESPERATE is the flying word. You will just confirm yo are desperate.

In this game, just appear very casual. You may cook up another issue that needs his professional advice and insist he is the only one whose advice can solve it. Make it look or sound casual. This should get you guys to start talking again.
Best of luck

legal-tender:

Only contact is facebook as I deleted his number when he didn't call .

So, you regret that now? girls, girls, girls

You reek of lukewarmness, inaction. You lack drive.

pointless, my sista its like u wanna be disgraced or used nd dumped abi, abegi lay low

Hello everyone.
This is really a question for the guys, preferably mature guys. (I already know what the ladies would advise).
I need straight to the point practical answers.

[size=15pt]Haha funny[/size]
[size=15pt]
I'm going to give you man advice... just forget about what he thinks and choose your own destiny, even if you appear desperate what did you loose?[/size]

Now on the flip side... there is a unique sort of annoyance that dudes feel when a girl who rejected them in the past comes back. He becomes ultra-aware of the baggage you accumulated between then and now.

Mynd_44: How about you send him a message asking him the reason for him being cold?

Oh dear, wouldn't that just scream desperation?

sauer:
So, you regret that now? girls, girls, girls

sauer: You reek of lukewarmness, inaction. You lack drive.

What would a warm/hot and driven girl do?

ednut1: pointless, my sista its like u wanna be disgraced or used nd dumped abi, abegi lay low

You have a point. I'm more concerned abut feeling embarrassed afterwards than getting used and dumped.

KnegroDamus:

[size=15pt]Haha funny[/size]
[size=15pt]
I'm going to give you man advice... just forget about what he thinks and choose your own destiny, even if you appear desperate what did you loose?[/size]

I don't have a thick skin. I feel embarrassed very easily.

KnegroDamus: Now on the flip side... there is a unique sort of annoyance that dudes feel when a girl who rejected them in the past comes back. He becomes ultra-aware of the baggage you accumulated between then and now.

Understandable.
Should I let it go then?

[size=15pt]Yes, after reading everything here i think you should. There is no point in doing something that has such a high probability of making you upset.

But fear not my child! it has been prophesized that you will meet your dream man at Akpabiom market square, 5 a.m in the month of Obatala... it will be well with you ooooooo![/size]

Gboliwe:
the moment you do this, DESPERATE is the flying word. You will just confirm yo are desperate.

In this game, just appear very casual. You may cook up another issue that needs his professional advice and insist he is the only one whose advice can solve it. Make it look or sound casual. This should get you guys to start talking again.
Best of luck

Thanks Gboliwe.
I hope I can summon the courage to make first contact, again.

Mynd_44: How about you send him a message asking him the reason for him being cold?

This would make her seem very thirsty. She is already thirsty and trying to hide the fact that she is thirsty

poster

What is it about this dude that has you trapped? your friendship is already kinda ruined and you already put yourself out there by calling him and talking about what happened. Even after that he didn't seem interested. so now why are you still chasing a man who is obviously not interested in you?

The fact is you might be ruining his relationship if he is in one by calling him and contacting him. Some women will never learn the signs. The man never called you and he is cold towards you and you are still wondering if you should call him. Soon after you will come here and say he used you for sex

legal-tender:


Thanks Gboliwe.
I hope I can summon the courage to make first contact, again.

Weigh your options.. what would feel worse; never speaking to him again or being rejected by him?

Why does everyone thing her reaching out is desperate? If it was the guy asking her out, we see nothing bad in it but if the girl sees what she likes she is despearate?

@OP, how are you so sure he does not want you back but his pride won't let him cos he is scared of hearing no again?

What do you have to lose from reaching out? He says no and you know for sure or he says yes and you move on too

Guys hate rejection- reasonable guys though. In order words, whenever u reject a guy, forget him because he will never like you for real again. if that guy is a player or bad guy, he will pretend and do what they call- use you and dump you, so forget him.

Lesson: look well before you leap next time. Saying NO to guys who honestly seek for a relationship seem to be fun to most ladies...

I only felt like advising you after reading the part where u said u need honest and practical advice, and that is- forget the guy, because the feeling of rejection by you will always replay in his brain, and he will be thinking that u came back for a hidden, dubious or selfish reason, of course materialism or favor. Go find another guy, you've lost him and learn not to turn people u may later like down.


...and lastly, the only way u can revive his interest is- LET HIM BE! Don't swallow your vomit

but if you are ready to be used and dumped, then pester him with messages and pleadings, and his playboy spirit will be rekindled, be ready to welcome that spirit

Mynd_44: Why does everyone thing her reaching out is desperate? If it was the guy asking her out, we see nothing bad in it but if the girl sees what she likes she is despearate?

i must admit i see where you are coming from but all the same if it were a guy who was doing this i would call him desperate too

The things that "could have been" usually fascinates us. Girl you've tried, if he wants you he would have responded when you called. That's why its important not to say NO hastily. Love will find you!

I think him promising to call, twice and not doing so is the sign you should listen to, but on the other side, maybe he was seeing someone then, and what if he's not seeing anyone now. Anyway, nothing is wrong with reaching out, a casual message on facebook, hello it's been a while, hope you're doing great? Should be your first step and then the decision to take it up would be based on his response. But, girlie, I promise you he's not the same guy you used to know, people change all the time so let go of the guy you used to know and get ready to know the new him.

Mynd_44: Why does everyone thing her reaching out is desperate? If it was the guy asking her out, we see nothing bad in it but if the girl sees what she likes she is despearate?

@OP, how are you so sure he does not want you back but his pride won't let him cos he is scared of hearing no again?

What do you have to lose from reaching out? He says no and you know for sure or he says yes and you move on too

Because she herself thinks its desperate. The female ego is very fragile... thats just a fact of life.

Its one of the key differences between males and females... men are risk takers, women are risk adverse.

omega25red: i must admitted i see where you are coming from but all the same if it were a guy who was doing this i would call him desperate too

This whole desperate thing is overrated I swear. Just "Hello, Being a lone time and I just want to check on you" sounds desperate?

Wow!!!

omega25red: This would make her seem very thirsty. She is already thirsty and trying to hide the fact that she is thirsty

poster

What is it about this dude that has you trapped? your friendship is already kinda ruined and you already put yourself out there by calling him and talking about what happened. Even after that he didn't seem interested. so now why are you still chasing a man who is obviously not interested in you?

The fact is you might be ruining his relationship if he is in one by calling him and contacting him. Some women will never learn the signs. The man never called you and he is cold towards you and you are still wondering if you should call him. Soon after you will come here and say he used you for sex

I haven't tried to hide the fact that I'm thirsty" for him. I not just thirsty, I hunger for him , hence my creating the thread.
No shame in admitting that on an anonymous site, just not to him.

I don't keep calling. I called once and sent a text once. Don't know how that may ruin whatever relationship he may have been in.

If I was pestering him I wouldn't be on here asking whether or not I should contact him.
It takes guts to pester a man, guts I don't have.

KnegroDamus: Weigh your options.. what would feel worse; never speaking to him again or being rejected by him?

Sound advice. I think I prefer my pride to be intact.

KnegroDamus: Because she herself thinks its desperate. The female ego is very fragile... thats just a fact of life.

Its one of the key differences between males and females... men are risk takers, women are risk adverse.

The female ego is indeed very fragile.

Mynd_44: Why does everyone thing her reaching out is desperate? If it was the guy asking her out, we see nothing bad in it but if the girl sees what she likes she is despearate?

@OP, how are you so sure he does not want you back but his pride won't let him cos he is scared of hearing no again?

What do you have to lose from reaching out? He says no and you know for sure or he says yes and you move on too

beats me

Bludeville: I think him promising to call, twice and not doing so is the sign you should listen to, but on the other side, maybe he was seeing someone then, and what if he's not seeing anyone now. Anyway, nothing is wrong with reaching out, a casual message on facebook, hello it's been a while, hope you're doing great? Should be your first step and then the decision to take it up would be based on his response. But, girlie, I promise you he's not the same guy you used to know, people change all the time so let go of the guy you used to know and get ready to know the new him.

you're right dear

legal-tender:


I haven't tried to hide the fact that I'm thirsty" for him. I not just thirsty, I hunger for him , hence my creating the thread.
No shame in admitting that on an anonymous site, just not to him.

I don't keep calling. I called once and sent a text once. Don't know how that may ruin whatever relationship he may have been in.

If I was pestering him I wouldn't be on here asking whether or not I should contact him.
It takes guts to pester a man, guts I don't have.

ok don't be mad at me i only typed according to what i had to work with. But i wouldn't contact him anymore if i were in your shoes because if you reached out like you did and he didn't jump at the chance to try to rekindle what could have been then i would just say forget that dude.

so how come you are single? post a pic so we can compliment you

Hatred starts wen dt which is to bring u joy brought sadness!

It intesifies wen that thing never felt bad abt it.

It stays wen u blame urself.

Wen u turned him down, u didn't even apologize knwin it did hurt him. Now he has learned to live without u, considered his action a mistake in his part and regretted the thought dt u felt the same likeness he did for u.
Move on pls: he doesn't like u anymore!

Not another ex thread.

legal-tender:



What would a warm/hot and driven girl do?

Let me tell you the basic truth, girl.
For a person of your type, anything you do will smell of desperation. Yes, desperation. And the only reason is because it's you. C'est tout! Because it's you. For some other girl, same may not apply. Girls such as you, who wait all the days of their life for guys to talk to them before they talk to the guy can't afford to make the bold move you intend to make. The guy knows you; he knows your type. He knows you have always kept it cool, and probably has always respected you for that.
Any little deviation from the kind of person you are will most certainly be interpreted as desperation. That's the bad thing!

As an aside: For the love of heaven, I can't imagine why you'd just delete his number because his crime is that he never called when he said he would. Had to say that one. phew!

The good thing is, he probably still respects you even though he doesn't know where you are or has probably forgotten about you.

If you intend to stay the way you are with your pride intact and all, as you have continue to reiterate, then best bet is to not contact him. Simply forget him and go about your own life. Just hope and pray he calls some time, and perhaps you can take things from there.

If, however, you don't care much about pride, cos where's pride when we're all dead and lying there lifeless na.ked? If, however, you wish to take one risk you have never taken your whole life. . .call him and explain exactly how you feel, how you have felt about him. Simply let him know. Tell him you didn't go out with him that first time, cos you had someone and didn't wanna waste his time. Tell him you still like him and wish for a future with him. Don't care much about what he's going to think about you, cos am guessing that's your biggest fear. What does it matter now anywayz? you might as well lose him for life. Bear your mind, miss. And let things flow from there. Think about it, what have you got to lose? You don't tell him, he don't care about you; he probably forgets you. You tell him, . . . .whatever. Anything happens.

If you choose the former, you might just want to change your attitude from now on. You can forget him; he gone!
Just begin with a more positive, proactive attitude to relationships and who knows, you might just find someone better after all.

.

He would always have resentment towards you! That's why when you tried to initiate contact again, he did not respond --- move on and live with the regret that you rejected him when you should have given him a chance!!!

legal-tender:
Hello everyone.
This is really a question for the guys, preferably mature guys. (I already know what the ladies would advise).
I need straight to the point practical answers.

I used to be friendly with a guy who I kinda liked. He asked me out but for reasons including the fact that I liked someone else more and really didn't want to waste his time and he wasn't totally done with his last relationship, I refused to go out with him.
Months later, I did get to like him but our friendship was already kind of ruined so I said nothing.
Years later,now living in different cities, I contacted him; doing my utmost best to sound casual.
Some how got talking about what had transpired between us in the past and he said remembered how I'd rejected him, I felt him withdraw after that he'd said that.
It was agreed that he'd call me back, which he didn't.
I sent him a text days later as I needed his input on something in his field. Got a reply saying he'd call, I never got a call even though I'd previously asked his assistance for something issue and he had helped.
I decided to let him go.
Years and years later, still find myself wanting to see him again. It's ok if he's seeing someone else now, I'd just really hate to not get with him due inaction on my part.
Question is, should I let it go or give it another shot?
And if you think I should give it another shot, how can I go about it without appearing now desperate.
Only contact is facebook as I deleted his number when he didn't call .

Haba OP! Plenty time done pass now. There are a number of issues you are probably not considering.
What was his financial and social status then and now.
You where probably a hot chick then and not so hot anymore.
He's probably in a happy relationship.
You are here seeking advise yet you havent told us how it ended with the one you used to like more. Did that other guy used, dumped and broke your heart? and did this guy know what happened?

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legal-tender:
Hello everyone.
This is really a question for the guys, preferably mature guys. (I already know what the ladies would advise).
I need straight to the point practical answers.

I used to be friendly with a guy who I kinda liked. He asked me out but for reasons including the fact that I liked someone else more and really didn't want to waste his time and he wasn't totally done with his last relationship, I refused to go out with him.
Months later, I did get to like him but our friendship was already kind of ruined so I said nothing.
Years later,now living in different cities, I contacted him; doing my utmost best to sound casual.
Some how got talking about what had transpired between us in the past and he said remembered how I'd rejected him, I felt him withdraw after that he'd said that.
It was agreed that he'd call me back, which he didn't.
I sent him a text days later as I needed his input on something in his field. Got a reply saying he'd call, I never got a call even though I'd previously asked his assistance for something issue and he had helped.
I decided to let him go.
Years and years later, still find myself wanting to see him again. It's ok if he's seeing someone else now, I'd just really hate to not get with him due inaction on my part.
Question is, should I let it go or give it another shot?
And if you think I should give it another shot, how can I go about it without appearing now desperate.
Only contact is facebook as I deleted his number when he didn't call .

I have a useful reply for you but answer this questions first

1... What is it about the guy are you tripping for?

2... Are you in any relationship presently?

3... Have you ever been rejected by a guy in your life b4?

4.... All this rejecting him and wanting him now happen within space of how many years?

5... Who was he then and who is he now ? Based on personality

Answer this questions and I will give you the best answer

Just let him be, he is gone forever and its all your fault.